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My backyard riders barn has bmorphed into a show barn (Or 'You kids get off my lawn!)

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  • #21
    Originally posted by 5 View Post
    OP- Your turn may come when Uber horse X needs a ride to a show and they stand there looking longingly at your trailer while they wait for a shipper.
    Until then ignore them groom and ride your horse in what you want. It sounds as if you have a horse that actually 'likes' you (Horses don't scale cliffs for just anyone) and they are working with horses that merely 'obey' them.
    Besides-
    Do you really 'care' what they think?
    Now we are judging the rider because her horse kicks and now the horse doesn't like her and only obeys her....Wow Dionne Warwick and the Psychic Friends should be making an appearance any moment now..........
    "All life is precious"
    Sophie Scholl

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    • #22
      Great thoughts Chief2. That is exactly how I deal with people at horse barns. I am there for the horse, and if I happen to make a few horsey friends all the better. I have been fortunate enough to (before my horses came home) to be at barns that did not have too much barn drama. If they did I did not get involved unless it pertained to something my horse or I did.
      I have been at barns that had World Champion Saddlebreds and the owner was offered a blank check for her horse. This woman was worth millions on her own, but she was the nicest person and down to earth, was always pleasant to me. I guess it is just how we interpret other peoples behavior and whether we choose to get upset by it. Life is so very short to get too upset with others so I try to let most things roll off my back and say "that is the way people are", and as long as they do not hurt my horse, or intentionally hurt me I can let words just be that, Words.

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      • #23
        Originally posted by Venture22 View Post
        It was the look before the statement. You can't really post a look.
        I hear that. It's all about the inflection and the look with some people. Though if you could post a look, there would be people arguing you perceived that inaccurately "Look at the angle of her eyebrow, she was clearly being compassionate and friendly..."

        Originally posted by Venture22 View Post
        I do have the costume I've been there and done that and I didn't think that I have to put it on to not get treated like a second class citizen.
        Even if you did dress like them, the snippy brand of twentysomething is not going to let you into that very special club of Horsewomen Who Matter. Just repeat to yourself "They'll grow out of it, they'll grow out of it." They're like toddlers throwing food at your head - it's a phase.

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        • #24
          I found when I first moved to the barn my mare is at now that I was a little overwhelmed by how they were showing and stuff and I just kind of kept to myself. Well finally I started talking to the other people and now I love going to the barn. The barn does do a lot of showing but if you open up and are more friendly maybe they will be too. Also I'm one of those 20 something women and I like to get advice from the older generation. I bet the girl was just telling you that the horse kicked. Good luck
          Proud Owner of Acertifiable Sonny 1996 AQHA Sorrel Gelding
          -- I loff my QH Clique

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          • #25
            Originally posted by Venture22 View Post

            How do you get some respect from people who can buy what they view as bigger and better at the drop of a hat.
            Exactly what kind of respect are you after? The "admiration" kind, or the "don't disturb my space" authoritative kind?

            There are some people whose respect/admiration I value a great deal, and there are many, MANY others whose respect (or lack thereof) mean about as much to me as a pile of toenail clippings. Someone whose primary values in life revolve around the most expensive things likely falls into the toenail clipping category.
            *friend of bar.ka

            "Evidently, I am an unrepentant b*tch, possible trouble maker, and all around super villian"

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            • #26
              Originally posted by Moesha View Post
              You have to be kidding....."If they think that is ok behavior" What to tell someone " my horse kicks?" So if the rider had just walked by and the horse had kicked the OP then the thread would be about how the rude 20thsomething evil satan friending on facebook hunter/show/dressage snob had not warned her and her evil untrained 6 million dollar warmblood was so untrained and out of control and she only shows at 2'6" at AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA rated supersonic shows in Winnipeg...

              So that is it then the girl was minding her own business and not interested in what the OP was doing or really who she was...and because she didn't show reverence she is horrible person? Give me a break ..completey warped self righteous and entitled attitude..
              No. I believe the discussion is about a snobby attitude accompanied by the words, "this horse kicks"

              That was quite a tangent you went off on! Your scenario did not happen and is not what the OP is talking about. I don't recall reading or writing anything about showing reverence or being a horrible person. You kind of went off the deep end there

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              • #27
                Originally posted by Dispatcher View Post
                Yeah, I agree with this. Makes me wonder if some of those questioning the OP are twins of the youngster whose horse kicks!! If they think that is OK behavior, maybe it's because they do it themselves.....

                When you are a newcomer to a barn, you need to act like you are new and show respect for the others whose home you are in

                Telling someone your horse kicks makes you a snob?

                Look, re read the original post. The OP goes on about money, riding, horses, and image in this thread....it sounds to me like a bit of envy of some sort.

                Just because people have nice horses/money does not automatically make them stuck up. Just like people who don't have money/back yard riders (not placing them in the same category just an example) are not always super friendly and sweet.

                The OPs tone in this thread and the first post says a lot, I'm guessing the "new" people at the barn may just be feeding on that.

                People who have been there longer also should be making an effort to make the new people feel welcome, and vice versa.
                Boss Mare Eventing Blog
                https://www.youtube.com/user/jealoushe

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                • #28
                  Originally posted by Jealoushe View Post
                  Telling someone your horse kicks makes you a snob?

                  Look, re read the original post. The OP goes on about money, riding, horses, and image in this thread....it sounds to me like a bit of envy of some sort.

                  Just because people have nice horses/money does not automatically make them stuck up. Just like people who don't have money/back yard riders (not placing them in the same category just an example) are not always super friendly and sweet.

                  The OPs tone in this thread and the first post says a lot, I'm guessing the "new" people at the barn may just be feeding on that.

                  People who have been there longer also should be making an effort to make the new people feel welcome, and vice versa.
                  Oh for god's sake. I didn't start the thread. The OP was describing what she perceived, saw and felt. I read no envy at all in the post. And NO, telling someone their horse kicks does not make them a snob. That's an absurd jump to conclusions

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                  • #29
                    I picked up from the OP that these people are, to her, invading her space and she doesn't like it. They started in their own corner of the world and are now taking over the rest of it. I think she feels like she's being squeezed out, and sadly, she's probably right. After all, if she leaves they can have one of their friends move into her stall.

                    I feel for you. And your friends are probably all leaving because they are feeling squeezed out as well. It's not comfortable being where your not wanted under any circumstances. Unfortunately, the more your friends leave the stronger the feeling will get.

                    Been there, done that, have the T-shirt.

                    The only thing I can suggest is try to find one of them who is friendly and strike up a conversation. It's possible they don't know how to approach you either.

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                    • #30
                      Upon reflection I suppose I have become the boarding version of the Backyard rider while still adopting the hiking shoes and t shirt of the endurace phase and Now I am surrounded by the minions of Hunter Riders.

                      I do have the costume I've been there and done that and I didn't think that I have to put it on to not get treated like a second class citizen.
                      Sorry, I think you’re reading too far into it. I actually thought that the tone of your post was a bit insulting in a couple of ways – “I own my horse. You are riding someone else’s.” SERIOUSLY? Chip on your shoulder, perhaps?

                      Why not just be friendly and polite? If there’s a problem, let it be HER problem, not yours. If she was, in fact, in kindergarten when you were clinicing with Klimke, perhaps you could consider acting like the grown up you supposedly are. Good manners and grace are not exclusive to either generation and the world would be a better place if more folks exercised them consistently.

                      No one can make you feel 2” tall unless you let them.
                      ---
                      They're small hearts.

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                      • #31
                        Originally posted by Venture22 View Post
                        You see this Klimke t-shirt I'm wearing -you were in kindergarden when we cliniced.
                        I think it's time for you to upgrade your t-shirt collection.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          Originally posted by Dispatcher View Post
                          No. I believe the discussion is about a snobby attitude accompanied by the words, "this horse kicks"

                          That was quite a tangent you went off on! Your scenario did not happen and is not what the OP is talking about. I don't recall reading or writing anything about showing reverence or being a horrible person. You kind of went off the deep end there
                          I was making a point of how ridiculous it is of you and anyone else to go on about the person who simply said my horse kicks and supposedly gave the OP a "look"....look at the gross generlizations and attributes and attitudes suddenly attached to the object of the OP's rant.
                          "All life is precious"
                          Sophie Scholl

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                          • #33
                            Originally posted by Dispatcher View Post
                            Oh for god's sake. I didn't start the thread. The OP was describing what she perceived, saw and felt. I read no envy at all in the post. And NO, telling someone their horse kicks does not make them a snob. That's an absurd jump to conclusions

                            I merely quoted you since you you said:

                            "Makes me wonder if some of those questioning the OP are twins of the youngster whose horse kicks!! "
                            Anyways, I was referring to ALL the OPs posts, not just the first one.
                            Boss Mare Eventing Blog
                            https://www.youtube.com/user/jealoushe

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                            • #34
                              Honestly, have you ever actually talked to anyone in the "new group"?

                              Give it a try. It's much easier to hate groups than individuals.

                              Caitlin
                              Caitlin
                              *OMGiH I Loff my Mare* and *My Saddlebred Can Do Anything Your Horse Can Do*
                              http://community.webshots.com/user/redmare01

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                              • #35
                                OP you sound just plain miserable. I'm sorry your boarding barn isn't what it used to be.

                                There's nothing you can do about 'them' but you can decide to take care of you. Either that means moving, or opening up a little to 'them' by just being friendly, whatever. Or it means shutting down and living inside your mind at the barn and shutting 'them' out entirely. Only you know what coping/adjusting strategy most suits you. To be so done in by a look, and seething your way bitterly through your Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better list, is just plain sad.

                                I met a GF once to go ride. She'd parked her truck and trailer in a field at the trail head. Now it is a completely servicable, fine, good quality full size truck and a simple but solid, GN trailer. Nothing wrong with it but a little age. Nothing. Another rig pulled in and proceeded to back around hers, to park perpendicular to her. The guy was doing fine, had it well under control, I'm brushing my horse la tee da...out of nowhere she goes flying around the front of her truck, cussing and screaming at him he better not hit her trailer. I was floored. Just stunned at her explosion. it went on for a bit back and forth and he got mad too- just nuts. I was like WTH and her answer? I can't afford to get my trailer fixed if he hits it with his ******* Sundowner. Ah, got it. This man's offense was having the audacity to own a fairly new Sundowner with a LQ, and a nice, new truck. That BASTARD. See what I'm sayin?

                                The looks and the scowls and the judgements have nothing to do with your bank account. They have everything to do with your heart and your outlook on life. The OP might need a long look in the mirror. Be quite clear on whether you are actually as innocent as you'd like yourself to believe. You might be just fine, and they really are snoots. Sure it's possible. But don't think you get a pass to do the same because your boots are old and dirty.

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                                • #36
                                  So, in your own words, you, a "mere mortal", now find yourself surrounded by "assorted lackies" and "minions of the hunter people", whatever that is. Seems you thought that by seniority, the barn was yours and they aren't showing you the respect you're due as a senior boarder. Respect is earned, and easier kept than recovered. Maybe a good first step would be to remove the giant chip from your shoulder.

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    OP, I think you need to remember that there's always going to be somebody out there that has something more than you. If that ticks you off... well you just need to buck up and get used it.
                                    Maybe assistant trainer is a snot, maybe not. But if you are annoyed that she's cramping your style just avoid her. And if that doesn't work move barns.
                                    It's not a five year old's "But I was here FIRST". A boarding barn is a business, so either buck up and live with it or find a new barn. not that difficult, even if you are a "mere mortal"

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                                    • #38
                                      You complain that they are treating you like dirt and looking at you like you are 'lower' than them. What do you think your post did to them? You talked about them like they were dirt and that you were somehow higher up than they are! I bet you people are thinking the same things about eachother.

                                      Sounds to me like you are very unhappy where you're boarding now. Either move to a new barn that has people who are "like you", buy your own place so you don't have to worry about what anyone thinks about you, or stay there, suck it up and either talk to the people or keep to yourself.
                                      "People ask me 'will I remember them if I make it'. I ask them 'will you remember me if I don't?'"

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                                      • #39
                                        Befriend the 'enemy'......

                                        Despite the possible poor attitudes of these newcomers to your world, I would recommend befriending them. You may not end up being best friends with any of them, but a hello and a smile generally leads to chit chats, kinder words and help when you need it. I have been on the opposite side of this scenario and moved into a wonderful very large facility and felt I was cold shouldered by all of those that were already there. I still smile at folks, try to get to know them and even thought it is not always chummy, it is a very pleasant place to be. It is very hard to expect a large facility of boarders to all get along.

                                        So my advice would be don't immediately think that because a group has expensive boots, expensive horses that seem to be beyond their riding needs or they are not the most friendly folks right off the bat that they are all bad. It is natural to want to purchase the best horse your money can buy weather or not you can ride it as far as the level to which it is trained. Realize that all of these folks are on a journey, just like you. Some of them may be snotty folks that you may never get along well with, but many may feel just as judged by you as you feel you are judged by them.

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                                        • #40
                                          Shannypants said it best. Put up or shut up. You might as well just learn to live with the young whippersnappers because they are not going away nor is their money going to dry up anytime soon.
                                          Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!

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