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OT, But a VERY important reminder! Please read!

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  • If you look on the bright side, because Sparkles and I were fortunate enough to have the chance to learn our lessons without any harmful consequences, that's two less potential drunk drivers you have to worry about being on the roads from now on.

    I am sure neither she nor I will do that again for the rest of our lives, and we will go on to have a positive ripple effect on our friends and acquaintances as well, helping them learn from our mistakes, so that's even fewer potential dangerous drivers on the road (either those who might drink and drive, or those who might not think before taking their eyes off the road- I've now learned that lesson thanks to Sparkles being brave enough to post her story here).

    So let's thank God for the small (or in this case, big) favors, and the fact that these are two stories that, unlike some of the others on this thread, had happy endings. I don't intend to take mine for granted. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    "This is not a vacation, it's a quest: a quest for fun."
    \"It is good to be fine.\"


    • They made us watch that in driver's ed. I never failed to put my seatbelt on after watching that! However, Mr.AAJumper went out on a rescue of a car full of kids that had been drinking and driving on PCH. One girl was laid out flat on the hood...and her seatbelt was still fastened in her seat! The force was so intense that somehow she got shot right out from her seatbelt. Bizarre! Miraculously, I think she was alive, but I don't know about the others...I don't think they were so lucky.

      I hear so many of these horror stories about accidents that there is no way I'd ever drive even after having a sip of alcohol. And yes, I was one of those nerdy types in high school who never drank. But I had a good time! It's sad that there is such pressure to drink in order to be part of the group.

      Sparkles, I'm glad you learned your lesson without having to face some really bitter consequences. My mom's best friend was killed by a drunk driver...be glad that you didn't do that to someone else.

      This could have been you....(warning-graphic picture to follow)

      visit www.victorianfarms.com


      • #1: Don't drink underage.
        #2: If you're STUPID enough to drink underage, don't DRIVE!
        #3: If you do BOTH, and get caught, DON'T COMPLAIN! Don't make excuses, and don't try to justify it. It won't work on someone's widow or someone's orphaned son, and it won't work on me either.

        No matter how dull and dreary your 17 year old life is, you do NOT need to drink to make it fun. You will never make a lasting friendship when you're drunk, and you certainly won't impress anyone either, so don't think you're improving your social life either. If you're with other underage drinkers, you're only there so everyone can say, "But EVERYONE was doing it!" Personally, I'm 19 and have never had a desire to drink, do drugs, or be around anyone who did either. I may not have as many "friends" as someone who does, but I guarantee the quality of my friends more than makes up for it.

        As long as we're alive, who's to say we're not immortal? -me

        Driven insane in the carpool lane...


        • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bigbay:
          If you look on the bright side, because Sparkles and I were fortunate enough to have the chance to learn our lessons without any harmful consequences, that's two less potential drunk drivers you have to worry about being on the roads from now on.

          That's absolutely right. Thank you both for sharing your experiences with us. The real tragedy will be if you EVER do something like this again. Then your recent experiences will have been for naught.

          One thought - remember that when you drink, your judgment gets impaired, as Kryswyn said. So even if you KNOW you can't drive if you've had more than two drinks, after you have HAD two drinks, sometimes you think otherwise. So be CAREFUL. Don't HAVE two drinks. LIMIT yourself.

          I'm 28 years old, and I TOTALLY limit myself if I have to drive. I know that even ONE drink impairs my judgment, so, you know what? I only have HALF a glass of wine if I know I have to drive.

          Yes, I am a dork, but I am a dork WITHOUT a DUI on my record and I am a dork who, God willing, will never hurt myself or others.


          • Yay for dorkness!

            And thank you to Big Bay and Sparkles. Yesterday afternoon on the drive home I was thinking about this thread and watching a motorhome pulling a Ranger pick up in the left lane (I was in the right). I thought to myself <warning wild generalization> folks who drive those don't often know how long they are and don't really use their mirrors well. <apology for wild generalization> I took my foot off the accelerator. One SECOND later, the motor home and Ranger pulled sharply over to the right lane, almost mooshing the Tempo in front of me. The Tempo braked hard and veered toward the shoulder and almost lost control. My F250 could not have slowed as quickly as that Tempo did. If I had not taken my foot off the accelerator I would have hit him as the camper and Ranger drove cluelessly on. As it happened, and thanks to the attentive driving reminder I got here yesterday, no seriously bad things happened. A little tread wear and some raised pulses were the extent of it.

            Bigbay and Sparkles--good has already come of your bad situations. Way to do the best you could with what happened.


            • I promise you I will NOT use the cell phone unless an emergency.

              This morning driving to the barn on shoulderless two lane lined with HUGE gullies (if you go off the road, you are going to flip), I found myself going what I considered too fast (though still well under the speed limit) and tapped the brakes to slow down. Immediately after that I was climbing a blind hill when a LARGE pickup came over from the other direction straddling the center line.

              I was already going slow enough that it didn't take much more for me to get out of his way. But I have to admit that I have been MUCH more aware of my driving habits (good and bad) because of this thread.

              Thank you Sparkles. I know some of us have come down a little hard, but as you can see, this is a very touchy and personal topic for many.

              Be safe!
              "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." ~ Jack Layton


              • I am 17. I don't drink. I would never, EVER EVER drive drunk, or even after just one drink. Have I had plenty of opportunity to drink? Of course. I don't take it. Personally, I find underage drinking a pathetic attempt to compensate for shortcomings in people's lives. Driving that way is, as already mentioned, sheer arrogance and callous disregard.

                I truly hope that Sparkles license will be revoked until she is at least 21. Don't give me crap that 17 year olds are not fully mature. I may make mistakes, but I have enough common sense to know when an action is WRONG. So does EVERY 17 year old. Some just choose to ignore it.

                I'm so, SO sick of stupid teenagers defending underage drinking. The main reason for my disgust is that, sooner or later, one of them will decide to drive while drunk and then will blame the result on the fact that they are "only a teenager". Bullsh*t.

                I'm glad that good has come of this thread. But I don't think that the teens that have defended Sparkles' actions have really learned anything. They already know that what they are doing is wrong, and they continue to defend it. Spare me.


                • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FatLilPony:

                  She had enough sense to put on a seatbelt,I do not think her judgement was SEVERLY impaired due to drinking, it may have been slightly, but not a major factor in this wreck IMHO. Drinking and driving should never be done-but again, there are diffrent degrees to everything. She has been grilled enough.


                  Herein lies an example on the benefits of experience. Many of us (at one time) believed that just a few drinks doesn't severely impair your judgment or become a major factor in reaction too. In fact, many people believe that they are better drivers after just a few drinks because they are "more careful." [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img] But, as you grow and learn (hopefully through the mistakes of others and not on your own) you discover that just ONE drink DOES have a major impact on your ability to react quickly, drive sensibly, and make good judgments. Too many think that one must be stumbling to be incapacitated to drive, but that is far from the truth. Though none of us were present with Sparkles at the time of the accident, it's very likely that were she not intoxicated, she might never have reached for the chapstick, or when she did, she might have had the capacity to react when situation changed.

                  Many drugs (alcohol, illicit, perscription, and even legal OTC drugs) alter our perceptions and reactions. It's really important to understand how this slightly altered state can profoundly impact your ability to perform tasks like driving.

                  One easy (and safe) way to experiment with how your skills diminish is to make a few writing samples -- your fine motor control is lacking and even more interesting is what looks 'normal' to your eye while you are impaired is often vastly different from what IS normal when you're not. We did this once in college as an exercise with legal-aged drinkers. After providing a standard sample, the drinkers we instructed to write a particular phrase after each drink over the course of a few hours for as long as they felt the statement was true. The difference in the participants writing from beginning to end was amazing but sad. At the end, each participant got a copy of the writing to keep. The writing sample was "I'm still okay to drive a car."



                  • Original Poster

                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Winglet:

                    #3: If you do BOTH, and get caught, DON'T COMPLAIN! Don't make excuses, and don't try to justify it. It won't work on someone's widow or someone's orphaned son, and it won't work on me either.

                    Sorry Winglet, I don't remember complaining at all in any of my posts. I wasn't making excuses either. All I was doing was telling every detail so people would understand. I was not making excuses though. I know what I've done wrong, and I'm sorry about it. Please don't accuse me of complaining though....

                    *Tapestry* 2000 Dutch WB mare by Contango
                    *Desperado* 1998 Dutch/TB gelding by Glendale
                    *Blazin' Magic* 2000 Welsh/TB gelding
                    Originally posted by JSwan
                    Prove it....Otherwise, you're just coming off as a whackjob.
                    Founding member of the "Not too Klassy for Boxed Wine" Clique


                    • Just for anyone in general, don't complain because you got caught, be mad at yourself for letting it happen. I know you've learned from this, and I'm sure you won't do it again. I'm also sure your insurance company will have a field day with it, and will probably refuse to insure you, so I doubt you'd have the opportunity to do so for quite a while. Don't even get in the car with someone else in the same state you were in. You seem like a nice person, and we need more of that.

                      If you loan someone twenty dollars, then never see them again, it was probably worth it.

                      Driven insane in the carpool lane...


                      • Having spent last night reading this thread, I was MUCH more cautious about driving to and from the barn today and VERY wary of the other drivers on the road after reading some of the horror stories on this thread. And it paid off.

                        On my way home today I was on a stretch of straight road when I saw another car come around the corner ahead. Said car is barely over the yellow line, but I still started slowing down and getting into "he's out to get me" mode nonetheless(ordinarily I probably just would've just taken my foot off the gas and had it hovering over the brake). As we get closer, the other car goes all the way onto my side of the road, heads straight at me for a while (in the meantime I've starting stopping pretty fast and was getting ready to drive onto the shoulder and possibly the grass along side the road), and then finally swerves back to his side. As he goes by me, he rests his head on his steering wheel in what seemed to me like he was either REALLY tired or had a couple drinks.

                        Point I'm trying to get to, thank you Sparkles for posting your story. If you hadn't I might not have starting thinking "slow down" when I did and might have gotten far enough up the road that he could've easily hit me when he swerved(and we were both going fast enough that a collision would've done some very serious damage). Several of us here seem to have learned from this thread that you started. And most important, you seem to have learned a lesson too and be very sorry for what you did. As a fellow teenager (I'm 16) I know that we all do stupid things occasionally. BUT it has also been pounded into our heads that we shouldn't drink and drive even after one drink. You are VERY lucky with your state law and that your parents aren't killing you for what you did, not to mention how lucky you are that no one else was hurt. Here in NY, we have a Zero Tolerance law that says if you are pulled over, have had ANY alcohol(doesn't matter how low your breathalyzer reads), and are under 21, you lose your license until you're 21. And as far as my parents are concerned, I will have absolutely no life left if I ever do what you did. I will be locked in my room for a very long time.

                        *~ Kahlua ~*
                        - Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.


                        • therein lies the definition of "defensive" driving. It means literally to drive like everyone else is out to get you. Period.

                          I drove legally at 14-god, it scares the bejesus out of me now to think of that, since my daughter is 12 and can barely turn on the cooktop burner. However, I was very mature for my age, and it saved my folks from having to drive me to the barn all the time.

                          What you learned was a valuable lesson today-even now, at 40, I have no hesitation to ditch my car if it looks like someone is going to take me out. In 1986, I was on a very icy road, and made the mistake of giving someone the benefit of the doubt. He was going sideways up a hill, and I thought "He'll get it under control". He didn't-and totally the car I was driving. I had wanted to ditch the car, but thought it would have been too extreme.

                          Inhindsight, with whiplash and the worst concussion of my life, it would have been easier to have gone off the road, even IF the guy hadn't come near me.

                          I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you feel like you are in danger and you have a safe place to bail, then do so if you are going a reasonable speed (or not).....that's what safe driving is all about. It's knowing where everyone on the road is-behind you, to your sides, etc. It's knowing where your escape route is all the time-it's having MORE than 2 seconds between you and the car you are following......give yourself room to think and live.

                          I'm glad you are ok today because you were thinking-keep thinking and you will live to see adulthood. Just keep the cynical thought in your head that everyone on the road is out to get you-think of all the drunks and crack heads and morons on cell phones, and stupid ladies putting on mascara......inattentiveness kills too....pay attention and stay alive. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                          The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
                          Ellipses users clique ...


                          • sparkles... glad you're okay.

                            Won't go into the issues... I think that has pretty well been covered.

                            Other things you can do though... get involved with SADD... many schools have one organized and anybody can join in. If your school doesn't have one... find out how to get one organized. It will give you another opportunity to share your story and maybe open a few other teens eyes.

                            Unfortunately... my friend wasn't so lucky a few years back. She was an avid horse owner/lover, gave lessons to young kids, was just starting out in dressage, and had a husband. In a moment her life ended and her family was shattered. All she was doing was riding her bike (with helmet) on the side of the road. A drunk driver came up behind her and ran her over. NOT a pretty sight and something that has haunted me since her untimely death (she was barely 30). I've stayed in touch with her mother and followed her healing progress. We email each other frequently and send cards via snail mail just to let each other know we're thinking of each other. In fact... this month marks another year since her death. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
                            Show goals achieved... and Sass is in foal! 1 month down... about 10 more to go.

                            We've got STANLEY! Wings Rock!
                            *bad shoulder clique * Member of "OMGiH, I loff my Mare" Clique! * Proud owner of a CANTER Cutie!
                            My Horses; COMH Page; My Blog


                            • Bumping for all of us who will resort to drinking in order to pass the time that COTH is away... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

                              "You might think there would be an explanation for this... but you would be wrong."


                              • this right after Off Course was moved and we had the Temp. OC.

                                This was my response:

                                khobbsetter- I remember that accident (I lived in NB then).

                                1 1/2 years ago a 17 year old girl from my barn left school early and went to a party. She got drunk and high. I was at the barn that day and we all heard about a huge accident on the main road. I came back later and found out she was killed when she swerved to miss a truck. Car went up a hill, took out a tree, and flipped. She flew out the window and was killed. Had she been wearing her seat belt she would have lived.

                                Guess what? I'm a teenager too and I think it's plain stupid to drink. My friend's don't (I did have friends that chose to take part in these activities; now we're no longer friends) and I respect them all the more because they don't. Why do you feel the need to drink at all? To fit in? I fit in just fine with my sober friends, thankyouverymuch.

                                IMO, your parents are being very, very generous. See the three horses in your signature? If I chose to drink (Even if I wasn't driving) my 4 horses (plus my full lease horse) would be gone... as well as my computer privledges, phone privledges, etc. THIS would DESTROY my life... because my life is horses and almost all of my REALLY good friends ride. I also live overseas (A lot of the expat kids here &lt;at least at my school&gt; have drinking problems&gt; ) and my communication lines to my friends (Horsey or otherwise, also family) would be cut off. That right there keeps me from drinking, but also the possibility of messing up my life.

                                So, to the adults, some teenagers DON'T drink and can have fun without it.


                                I also thought I'd post this poem.

                                I went to a party,
                                And remembered what you said.
                                You told me not to drink at all,
                                So I had a sprite instead.
                                I felt proud of myself,
                                The way you said I would,
                                That I didn't choose to drink and drive,
                                Though some friends said I should.
                                I know I made a healthy choice,
                                And your advice to me was right,
                                The party finally ended,
                                And the kids drove out of sight.
                                I got into my car,
                                Sure to get home in one piece,
                                I never knew what was coming,
                                Something I expected least.
                                Now I'm lying on the pavement,
                                And I hear the policeman say,
                                The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
                                Mom, his voice seems far away.
                                My own blood's all around me,
                                As I try hard not to cry.
                                I can hear the paramedic say,
                                This girl is going to die.
                                I'm sure the guy had no idea,
                                While he was flying high,
                                Because he chose to drink and drive,
                                Now I would have to die.
                                So why do people do it,
                                Knowing that it ruins lives?
                                And now the pain is cutting me,
                                Like a hundred stabbing knives.
                                Tell sister not to be afraid,
                                Tell daddy to be brave,
                                And when I go to heaven,
                                Put Daddy's Girl on my grave.
                                Someone should have taught him,
                                That its wrong to drink and drive.
                                Maybe if his parents had,
                                I'd still be alive.
                                My breath is getting shorter,
                                I'm getting really scared.
                                These are my final moments,
                                And I'm so unprepared.
                                I wish that you could hold me Mom,
                                As I lie here and die.
                                I wish that I could say
                                I love you and good-bye.

                                We start believin' now that we can be who we are. -Grease

                                You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith


                                • Dressager - I like the poem!

                                  I hope everyone on this board will take this thread to heart and remember to kep your wits about you over the upcoming season. And watch out for those who can't or won't watch out for themselves. Drinking and driving is a very serious offense...you're driving a loaded weapon!

                                  ***My horse bucked off your honor student!***

                                  ~~LOFL (lawn ornaments for life) clique~~