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Dear coach - too bad, so sad, buh-bye...

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  • I loved your letter, thanks for posting it, it made me laugh


    I dont get why people are defending the trainer. Even if she is having a rough time and business sucks, that's no excuse for her to treat her remaining clients poorly. A real professional would treat her clients with respect and continue to provide excellent service, regardless of the state of her bank account. She shouldnt make someone's kid cry because she's having a bad day.

    The OP did the right thing. She was unhappy, so she left. Is it a big enough deal to make a fuss with the trainer over? Maybe not. But its great material for a funny anonymous post on a horse forum.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by kmsf View Post
      I also had to learn that the horse was being judged even more than the rider, and that even if DD rode well at a show, she would not place well depending on how her pony jumnped.
      Only in the hunters which is why I think it is the WORST discipline for a beginning or ammie rider and the most open to trainer-scams. Eventing, dressage, eq or jumpers are much more beginner friendly and much less $$ oriented. I always started people out in one of those disciplines. Clearly I am in the minority

      The OP post made me laugh and reminded me of the last real estate crash in SoCal in the early 90s. Carnage in the horse market in our neck of the woods. The good trainers did fine, the frou-frou ones, not so much.

      Comment


      • The letter made me smile.

        This is happening in all equestrian disciplines. And this isn't even the first business that I've heard of that can't seem to afford good manners these days. The owner of a local comic book store wigged out on a friend of mine, an adult with a paycheck, because business wasn't going well.

        Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.
        The Horsey Set Net

        Comment


        • Originally posted by moneybag mommy View Post
          Actually I wrote the letter more because I feel badly and I wanted it to serve as a warning to up and coming trainers.

          I really do like the coach - and although suzie has never been "the chosen one", econo is performing well, and suzie was always treated politely and with respect. Really, this is all I was paying for, not to be showered with love. No, coach was not hot for econo, but still gave good lessons and was encouraging at shows etc. I kind of liked the fact that suzie was in the background, less drama.

          However when the wheels fell off the wagon and the coach's business began melting down, rather than valuing our meager contribution, coach began turning into a total jerk. Remember that at the time, I had no idea why (and really didn't care - not my job as a client to find out), only that my daughter was suddenly not good enough, regularly in tears, etc.

          So we left.

          Now that I understand WHY coach was a jerk, I am torn between feeling badly on one hand - but on the other hand, reluctant to ever go back because I we were still customers, and customers should not be treated this way (and besides that, I don't like having horse at a farm that I know is having financial troubles).

          I guess we will see what the future holds.
          You make several good points. As you know (like it or not) the person who is paying the most usually gets the most. The rider with 3 fancy horses that takes alot of lessons and goes to shows will be fawned over. Its a matter of perspective. If you are writing horse related checks totally $3000 a month you feel rightly entitled to great service. You might feel slighted when Little Miss A Show gets more attention, but her Mom writes $20,000 worth of checks! Anyone is business has to keep their best clients happy. That said you should be treated well, with decency and honesty. When trainers business was going to hell in a handbasket she probably got scared and snapped at you and others at the very time she should have been cultivating your relationship. She didn't owe you an explanation but maybe appealing to you with a friendly demeanor might have kept you as a client. She might have even discovered that you have certain skills that could have helped her, like bookkeeping or maintaining a website or organizing groups of kids.
          It sounds like trainer went into a panic when "Big Client" suddenly went belly up. I can understand coach being worried about the future of her business. She did the worst possible thing, taking her fear out in the form of hostility to her remaining clients. It probably wasn't personal. I have seen people who are generally kind and decent get very ugly very fast when money is tight. The feed and bedding men don't care that Big Client has gone belly up and cannot pay anymore. The farrier and vet want their money too. Coach often get saddled paying these bills and never getting reimbursed. Fear changes people, often for the worse.
          It's decent of you to feel bad for her. You didn't understand her situation. If you see her, explain to her what you said in this post. Don't burn the bridge, she may be feeling very bad about how things went down. If she's a good trainer, she may e someone you'll want to have a relationship with in the future, but it was her mistake that caused you to leave.
          F O.B
          Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
          Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique

          Comment


          • Vandy, exactly! I haven't been pushed to buy an expensive horse, but it's hard to progress when I don't own one of my own.

            Cielo Azure, yeah, I was a *poor* kid who rode horses. My parents were on welfare, and I couldn't afford lessons at all. I did "will muck for rides or $5" at the local barn, one of the 4-H families let me lease their horse for $1 for a year (with me taking care of her every day). They rode whenever they felt like it, but usually just sat on her at the walk. Later, I was able to take care of 5 horses (including one foal) for $5/day, plus getting to ride two of them. I agree that someone who can afford a 5 figure horse isn't poor!

            I was able to take 4 lessons or so on the weekends for a while when I was in university/working full time (I didn't feel comfortable leasing, since my schedule changed frequently). My dressage trainer was able to arrange some free rides for me with her other clients when they were out of town or busy fairly frequently, and spent a lot of time talking with me and showing me stuff. I made it clear I didn't have money to buy a horse, much less put it into full training, and those 4 lessons were split between that barn and a H/J barn, since I wanted to do both dressage and jumping.

            I've been at other barns (changing due to job change/etc., not leaving with hard feelings) where I was only taking one lesson a week, and the instructor still went out of their way to be very helpful. I try not to monopolise too much of their time that I'm not paying for, unless they specifically offer it, since I know that they are very busy.
            Stay me with coffee, comfort me with chocolate, for I am sick of love.

            Comment


            • Hey, I enjoyed OP's wit and style of writing. I hope the post was cathartic for her. Many of us have seen this sort of thing go on, and it will continue to go on.

              This is a service business, and totally dependent on those of us with a disposable income, no matter what the amount. Equal respect goes a long way.

              However, I have seen that client boast about making "a lotta money, I mean a lotta lotta money" and purchase expensive horseflesh, the latest fashions etc. all because the trainer has tunnel vision. Client looks great at competitions and the child is at the top of the barn totem pole. The trainer pushes the other students off to the side, lowly lesson kids are now Untouchables. Trainer secrets these $$ clients off to shows when the other kids thought she was home with a migraine. $$ Mom is clucking away at the ingate alongside the trainer, enjoying the personal attention.

              In reality these clients have personal lives that are eroding and in the toilet. The farrier and dentist complain about not being paid. Client is behind on their mortgage. Divorce is on the horizon. Daughter is a frequent flyer in the guidance office, has few friends at school so she leans heavily on her artificial aura among the ones at the barn.

              Eventually the not-so-glamourous clients drift away to a better suited barn.

              Trainer is left with the Albatross she created. Rather sad actually.

              Comment


              • However it is like show business people (I mean music/movie industry) where a specific talent gets them to the top but they don't have the life experience or business skills to manage the talent.
                There are definitely 2 (or 3) sides here...

                The ones I was railing on about in my first post are the street smart scammers that play on the social ambitions of the 'riche de jour' types. Always selling up...but with no substance. People with enough brains to make the money to afford 'high end' horse sport should be smart enough to practice due diligence and figure out 'where's the beef'. If the clients can't figure out PDQ that they are being played...they are only encouraging the scam. There is nothing good in that for the whole industry.

                On the other hand (as I wrote, sort of, in my second post) there are some really good trainers/coaches trying to break into the 'high end' that just got hit hard by the economic disaster. Without the life experience to cope with the inevitable ups and downs in any small business, they gambled too heavily on the high rollers and panicked - alienating the 'steady eddie' clients that don't have the resources to play in the big sandbox but who can keep one afloat in the hard times.

                The ones that survive (apart from those already independently wealthy or those with a 'pre-made' name) are ones that learn the balance, how to sell but also to make sure the quality of the product (both horses and training) remain the best.

                It takes a few falls (both in riding or in business) to figure which is the best path to follow into the future. Most often the best horse people aren't the best business people...but the ones that succeed are the ones that learn both skills.
                * <-- RR Certified Gold Star {) <-- RR Golden Croissant Award
                Training Tip of the Day: If you can’t beat your best competitor, buy his horse.
                NO! What was the question?

                Comment


                • Letter kind of reminds me - yes there are plenty of those types who view every client or potential client w/ $ in their eyes. So back in the days when I was a shopgirl a woman came in very Housewives of OC type (but no botox) - she was very nice & new to the area. Asked me about a couple of barns she was looking at for boarding her horses- did I know anything about them etc. I didn't really (and even if I did being shopgirl we had to be unbiased). So I gave her the only advice I could - LEAVE THE DIAMONDS I said. She looked rather puzzled.. I told her again, in confidence - lovely rings (huge diamond wedding rings) leave the diamonds at home, don' take the fancy car... you'll get a better barn tour that way... well not better but more honest

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