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Dear coach - too bad, so sad, buh-bye...

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  • #41
    RE "The other side of the coin" concerns:

    The situation IRL is probably not nearly as exciting and dramatic as in the written version. There is such a thing as creative license and exageration for effect, and when well done (as this was), it can serve double-duty as entertainment and warning.

    OTOH, the situation IRL could be much more dire and this is the prettied up version...

    Comment


    • #42
      Hay

      Oh, I want to join the econo-nag clique!!! Mine's three figures.!!!!...!!!!
      Sorry! But that barn smell is my aromatherapy!
      One of our horsey bumper stickers! www.horsehollowpress.com
      Add Very Funny Horse Bumper Stickers on facebook

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      • #43
        Yay for econo-nags!

        Comment


        • #44
          BTDT - got the T-shirt

          Very well-written letter.
          Did you actually send it or just vent here?
          This type of trainer needs to get put on notice - if not verbally then in a letter like yours.

          My situation happened nearly 20 years ago and it still rankles.

          I helped my trainer start her business by pitching in to do things her later "valued" clients would never dirty their hands with.
          I took time off work to help her ship horses to shows for juniors whose wealthy parents did nothing except open their checkbooks.

          At these shows I acted as part of her "team" until she hired a groom and then started charging us Day Fees + her hotel room + Tack stall.

          I bought my first horse from her. Of course she got her commission on the sale and "rewarded" me by lodging my horse in the prestigious 12-stall Show Barn when she leased her own place.
          The non-showing rabble were stalled in a separate wing.
          She expected me to "move up" and buy another horse from her within a year, even though I told her this was not my intention.

          My husband installed alarm & phone systems and PA for her at cost and his "reward" was to be constantly called to repair damage (workers watered the phone in the indoor, mice chewed through alarm wiring) and expect not to charge for his services. Even when a show was held at the barn he was on-call to repair things even though he had classes to show in. Monies were supposed to be deducted from his lessons or board in exchange - that never happened.

          When I said "enough" to showing every single weekend all Summer my horse was rehomed in the B Barn. Replaced by a newbie with no riding talent but a BIG bank account....and who BTW "needed" a new horse...
          When we still ended up with year-end Reserve awards she was glad enough to take credit at the awards dinner.

          At every show we went to she approached me with an offer from another trainer to sell my horse for increasing sums. Of course that would have meant cha-ching! bigger commission for her.
          Didn't matter that I kept telling her No Sale - he's a Keeper for me.
          (still have him)

          Things degenerated to the point where when I finally found a place to move I was afraid she would present me with a final bill padded so much that I'd have a choice of going broke or handing the horse over to her. Fortunately I was able to pay the final bill - I chose not to dispute some of the questionable charges.

          The Grapevine told me she later joined AA and 12-stepped her way back.
          Apparently I was not one of the people she felt she owed an apology.
          When Tom died she sent her sister to the memorial service.
          I guess that was supposed to suffice after 5+ years of "friendship".
          *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
          Steppin' Out 1988-2004
          Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
          Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

          Comment


          • #45
            LMAO

            Brings back memories of my own high school days and the instructor I left for much the same reason (only my "econo-nag" was in the very low 4 figures). I still have my bargain horse (and her daughter!) 10+ years later, but can't think of any of the other students who are still doing anything horsey. I think the horse world was just a phase, when the family had already spent $$$ on the house, the cars, the boat, the ATV, the golf clubs and the ski equipment.

            BES
            Proudly owned by 2 chestnut mares
            Crayola Posse: sea green
            Mighty Rehabbers Clique

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            • #46
              The Grapevine told me she later joined AA and 12-stepped her way back.
              Apparently I was not one of the people she felt she owed an apology.
              When Tom died she sent her sister to the memorial service.
              I guess that was supposed to suffice after 5+ years of "friendship".
              I hope it was because she is embarrassed because this part is just awful.

              It does at times take a while to see what is happening when you are being used or tossed aside. You have to try and move on and not let it eat away at you.....some of us take a bit longer to learn the lesson.
              I have some lovely boarders and students from all walks of life...and my trainer is pricless! Make your own happiness and never under estimate the "value" of what any horse can teach you.
              Last edited by Bogey2; Mar. 9, 2009, 12:31 PM.
              Humans don’t mind duress, in fact they thrive on it. What they mind is not feeling necessary. –Sebastian Junger

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              • #47
                Originally posted by Jsalem View Post
                I try to focus on doing a good job for all my clients. I give the same quality of lesson for a once a weeker as for a 3x a weeker. I give the same amount of time and energy coaching at a small local show as at a AA rated show. I work as hard trying to match a horse and rider in the 4 figure range as the 5 figure range. And frankly, my job is a lot harder with the inexpensive horse with the smaller training budget. Those clients usually want the same results, but give us less to work with. And sometimes, they keep a huge old chip on the shoulder. Wonder if that's the case here?
                Thank you Jsalem. And you know, sometimes we trainers really want our students progress and reach their goals, and suggesting a "move-up" horse isn't always a ploy to put more money in our pockets. And really, does the OP think that her "safe" job is really safe in this economy? Poking fun at trainers who depend on good clients to make a living just rubs me wrong...as a trainer/BO living in a community whose income is based on tourism, I've been hit really hard by the current economy, and I don't find it so amusing.
                Ristra Ranch Equestrian Jewelry

                Comment


                • #48
                  I love my Econo-Nag, too!
                  A proud friend of bar.ka.

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    As someone who was not experienced with the horse world when DD started riding, it was hard to learn how things work. I thought that the better she got, the better horses she would get to ride. Was heartbroken when a girl who did not ride well or treat the lesson horses well was allowed to lease a fancy show pony. Later realized that if you can afford it, you can pay for wonderful talented horses to show and do well on. I also had to learn that the horse was being judged even more than the rider, and that even if DD rode well at a show, she would not place well depending on how her pony jumnped. Now that I know more, I appreciate our BO and trainers that they have always treated us well and taught her at the same level as the girls going to the AA shows twice a month, even though we could only afford to lease school horses and do little showing. So thank you to all trainers who are patient with those of us still learning about the horse world! Hoping someday DD will have an "econo-nag" too!
                    "I have been Foolish and Deluded," said he, "and I am a Bear of No Brain at All." - Winnie the Pooh

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                    • #50
                      I've got another flip side.

                      I seem to enrage the rich clients because I treat them the same as my sensible clients. All clients are equal to me and all my students and customers deserve my time and professionalism. Ocassionally I get a big account but they never stay very long, I guess they are looking for butt kissing and fawning that they don't get. One big client actually told me that because I don't have a barn full of clients as high calibur as she I should give her special treatment. Without that special treatment she assumed I didn't value her business. When I said I'm sorry that is your perception because all my clients are valuable to me I guess this was the wrong answer because she told me I could take my barn full of piss ant clients and shove it.

                      Life it too short to deal with people like this.

                      Great letter. I bet it felt good to write it. I'm sorry you got treated this way. We are not all like that.
                      Power to the People

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        Nice, LOL - enjoy the new barn!!

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          Originally posted by pines4equines View Post
                          Oh, I want to join the econo-nag clique!!! Mine's three figures.!!!!...!!!!
                          I'm in, mine was free!
                          "The standard you walk by is the standard you accept."--Lt. Gen. David Morrison, Austalian Army Chief

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            Take it in humorous spirit is was written and maybe we could all pretend we know that it doesn't apply to every trainer on the planet?

                            I've ridden with trainers I dearly loved and learned a lot from, and I know they liked me just fine. But what I bought to the table financially speaking, ummmm, was miniscule and you know, I didn't occupy much of their business time. I am totally fine with that, being an adult and seeing the bigger picture - but they were polite to me and gave me 100% of their skills and attention when I was at the ring, which is all I expected of them. And to be fair, I didn't give them much of MY time when I was at my day job, so I suppose it was a two way street. I just paid my bills on time. That was my job. But it's a bit different when it is a kid and I have seen some trainers just really give the brush off to the kid whose parents aren't towing the spending line and the kid doesn't understand it.

                            I don't think those trainers have a long term succesful business model, period. But the funny thing about a bull and bear market is that a bull market can let a lot of people get a real jump in their business. Lots of demand, limited supply and all that, it gives people without good business sense almost the same opportunity as people who are legitimately good at this business. That's what the bear market is all about, to weed out the good from the lucky.
                            Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              Originally posted by DMK View Post
                              That's what the bear market is all about, to weed out the good from the lucky.
                              Oooh, I like it!

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                Well, I definitly have always had a barn full of econo-nags. Had the worst experience and lost the most money on the most expensive one. The best ones turned out to be the 1K tb rescue colt and arabian gelding.
                                Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
                                Witherun Farm
                                http://witherun-farm.blogspot.com/

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  Originally posted by Sswor View Post
                                  I've got another flip side.

                                  I seem to enrage the rich clients because I treat them the same as my sensible clients. All clients are equal to me and all my students and customers deserve my time and professionalism. Ocassionally I get a big account but they never stay very long, I guess they are looking for butt kissing and fawning that they don't get. One big client actually told me that because I don't have a barn full of clients as high calibur as she I should give her special treatment. Without that special treatment she assumed I didn't value her business. When I said I'm sorry that is your perception because all my clients are valuable to me I guess this was the wrong answer because she told me I could take my barn full of piss ant clients and shove it.

                                  Life it too short to deal with people like this.

                                  Great letter. I bet it felt good to write it. I'm sorry you got treated this way. We are not all like that.
                                  Wow--what a pompous ass of a client she was! Gives decent horse people a bad name. But then, this one personifies the stereotype. Glad to hear she moved on from your barn!!

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    Thank you, thank you!

                                    to the nit picker - I don't care if your daughters name is Billy!

                                    Its the frustrated thoughts behind the letter that resonate with me. Been there. I agree it is time trainers take notice of the clients that are in it for the long term, pay their bills and try to do the best they can for themselves, their kids and their horses. Develop better riders and horses through a consistent training program and the marketing kind of takes care of itself.

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      We are not all like that.
                                      Well you're pretty much the exception. Not rare, but trainers like you are not common. I've had two trainers out of five that I can say have that kind of integrity. The other three would easily be dazzled by a client with big bucks or tolerate bad behavior from a client as long as they were good for the money. The three were all good trainers, but I can't say that I came away respecting them as professionals. I wouldn't ever recommend any of them either.

                                      OP take your time finding another trainer. They are out there. You just have to look harder.

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        Deep breath....and remove the stick from the collective ass. Take a humorous post in the spirit in which it was intended! It's funny! It doesn't apply to all trainers, and it doesn't apply to all wealthy clients. It's a funny post on a BB. Enjoy!

                                        OP - brilliant!

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Originally posted by War Admiral View Post
                                          I'm in, mine was free!
                                          free horse = oxymoron

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