Dear coach - too bad, so sad, buh-bye...

[00Jumper]

we should all have such "problems"

p.s. DARFUR!!!

Please keep us posted as to when the atrocities in Darfur become relevant to an equine-centered message board.

Until then, LOL OP. Well played.

[Quin]

Ya know, sometimes there are letters that you just have to write. You also have to tear them up the next day, but first you have to put them on paper to get the emotions out of your system.

Very enjoyable post. Hope all goes well at the new barn.

[rivenoak]

Is there *anyone* in the horse world who hasn't seen this happen? Part of the sad territory. <sigh>

I will say that the one time I was embroiled in it, trainer still gave me & econo-nag the time of day with no pushing to upgrade (teenager doing it all on my own, horse-$-wise), but I saw on which side her bread was usually buttered.

Good on moneybags mommy for leaving w/ Susie in tow. No matter when they decided to leave, they're leaving. Just get ready for a different set of problems.

[Old Equine Lady]

Great letter, too bad it can't be sent. Sometimes people need the mirror to see.........

That said, what a comment on our ecomony, times are changing that for sure!

[slc2]

Next time, if you don't like the place, leave a little sooner, instead of stayign there for a couple of years and then beating your chest about how awful it was.

Yes, I have done it too. That's why I advise everyone else not to.

On the other hand, if all said trainer actually did was some schmoozing, and she generally did her job and did what she said she was going to do, I am not really all that sure I'd remain THAT pissed off about a few dumb remarks or 'snubs'. A horse trainer is your employee, not your friend.

[MunchkinsMom]

Good post. And a good reminder to anyone in any type of business, to keep your eyes on the economy, and a business plan flexible enough to stay afloat in the bad times.

Is there *anyone* in the horse world who hasn't seen this happen?

Well, I can honestly say I have not experienced it first hand, since I have never had a horse in training. I've boarded at a few big training barns, but luckily they didn't fit the above description. All clients were treated equally.

[Fixerupper]

My take is a little bit different...I think it shouldn't take an economic down-turn for people to see what they are really paying for! Bullsh*t is bullsh*t ir-()regardless of the economy.
It makes me crazy - all the time - when normally sensible people get sucked in by the 'used-car-salesmen' types in the horse industry. Just because you are new to the horse biz doesn't excuse you from doing 'due diligence' on your or your kid's horse 'professional'. Very little difference between them and the Bernie Madoffs and the Paul Greenwoods... they are able to take your money because you are willing buy what the 'Jones' ' are buying. THAT is why the economy is in the sh*tter right now!

There are always good horsemen out there doing a good and honest job of teaching, training and selling but they pretty much don't over-represent themselves. Glitz doesn't = good!

[dalpal]

I dunno....there's two sides to every story. I've bent over backwards for clients, given them extra time, lessons.....and even though I have "30 day" notice written in my contract.....I can't tell you how many times people have been rude and left.

I had a situation a couple of weeks ago. STUDENT (not me) came at the wrong time, and I was already teaching. I told her that I would take her the next hour. She said she couldn't and left. Af that point mom called me from her cellphone (couldn't be bothered to come in) and told me that they couldn't stay. That was fine, I understood. I also understood that this child had come in for an EXTRA lesson the previous week and mom never once opened her checkbook to pay for it. So I suggested that we just use that one in the place of the "makeup" that would be needed. Mom seemed shocked that I remembered such annoying details.

This kid is a senior and she was planning on stopping at the end of March. I had even thanked her mother for being so kind as to give me 30 days notice.

Next week came, kid came at the right time, we had a great lesson. Mommy comes in...waits for me to pull out my calendar for March dates and then says.."I'm sorry, we're going to have to stop cold turkey...my husband was livid when we got home last week and said that we weren't coming here any longer. I stayed professional and didn't say a whole lot....but the letter I wanted to write to her..said something like..."I wonder if hubby was livid all those lessons where Suzie Q stayed her for an extra 30 minutes or so, so we could get that recording just right...and I never asked to be compensated. I wonder if Daddy was livid the time that they told me in less than 2 hours that they couldn't come to the lesson times that they had picked and expected me to find her a new time at the drop of the hat.

Now...I'm guessing that this isn't the story that Mommy and Daddy have in their heads.....I'm probably unfair, forgot the kid's lesson time, etc.

I don't personally cater to anyone's personal pocketbooks....they all pay me the same, therefore, everyone is equal in my eyes....I'm just saying there are always 2 sides to every story.

I also don't get excited when someone else's business is tanking because of the economy....no matter how I feel about them personally. It can happen to every single one of us. I've worked since the day out of college, I have a job.....just had a friend who has to go back to work now, because husband is losing everything......I don't find that gleeful, I worry for her and everyone else who is stuck with making tough decisions.

Sorry, not to be a Debbie Downer....but I would have moved barns eons ago before I let this much hositlity and resentment build up inside of me....and why, do you want to give your good, hard earned money, to someone that you don't respect or like??????

[Fixerupper]

I dunno....there's two sides to every story.
Sorry....but I would have moved barns eons ago before I let this much hositlity and resentment build up inside of me....and why, do you want to give your good, hard earned money, to someone that you don't respect or like??????

Yup...what she said!

[TrueColours]

Perfect!

Thanks for the smile this morning ...

(PS - and I, for one,, hope that you do in fact send it to said "trainer". Some folks really do need a little help in figuring out where they went wrong ... )

[Bayou Roux]

Dear Moneybag Mommy,

I see not just one, but TWO problem personalities: the one who probably made it crystal clear within weeks of your arrival at her barn that she is what she is and was not interested in changing, and YOU for sticking around so long despite having noticed this long ago. Good for you for getting out, but maybe next time you'll figure it out before it's driven you to writing passive aggressive vent posts on a public message board.

Seriously.

[Jsalem]

Yep, I have to agree with those pointing out the other side of the coin. If said trainer was such a snob and gave you poor SERVICE for the same amount of money, you should have left a long, long time ago. Why didn't you? But on the other hand, if a wealthy client pays for twice the number of lessons, if they are buying and selling horses, if they are going to lots of shows- guess what? They are PAYING for a lot more of the trainer's time. I don't understand why a "smaller" client would be so bitter about that.

I try to focus on doing a good job for all my clients. I give the same quality of lesson for a once a weeker as for a 3x a weeker. I give the same amount of time and energy coaching at a small local show as at a AA rated show. I work as hard trying to match a horse and rider in the 4 figure range as the 5 figure range. And frankly, my job is a lot harder with the inexpensive horse with the smaller training budget. Those clients usually want the same results, but give us less to work with. And sometimes, they keep a huge old chip on the shoulder. Wonder if that's the case here?

You're right, this economy is changing things. I hope that I've been professional and done a good job across the board, so that I'll still be sought after to teach, train and coach at shows. I think the best will be.

Oh and "dear client," I hope you don't get a reputation for being nasty and bitter because you'll find that wonderful clients are welcomed around town into the best barns with waiting lists. "Problem clients" are not.

[SonnysMom]

I could see where mommy moneybags didn't want to leave trainer as long as Suzie was happy and continuing to learn. If trainer is only putting pressure on the parents to sell Econo-nag and not slipping in digs to Suzie then staying is more annoying for the parent than detrimental to Suzie's happiness and riding.
It sounds like the moment trainer crossed the line and made Suzie unhappy they found the door.
Depending on Suzie age and if all of her friends ride at brown nosed trainer's barn it can be harder to change barns. Teenaged girls tend to be clickish and it is very emotionally tramatic for them to change schools barns etc.. It can be hard for girls to fit into a new click at a new barn or school.
Also until Suzie sees the negative aura about the now former trainer then mommy moving horses to a new barn is the "mean bad mommy" that ripped Suzie away from her mentor, great trainer......
Sometimes waiting for the trainer to finally make Suzie unhappy is a life lesson for Suzie that she might not have had if mommy had just made the move before Suzie had her eyes opened.

[War Admiral]

Of course, being me, and with a passion for (to borrow FairWeather's phrase) "nice cheap heese", I sure the heck would send my new trainer along to the old trainer's "fire sale"...

[Saidapal]

I have always ridden and purchased my horses on a budget, and I can't say how many times I was treated with disdain because my horse wasn't as fancy or talented as other horses in a clinic or barn. Plus, I am not nor will I ever be an Olympic rider. But I wanted to learn so badly I did it anyway. If I was treated very poorly I just didn't go back to that instructor/clinician.

I've decided some clinician's/instructors look at their students more as a way of advancing their own goals and careers than as recipients willing to receive all the knowledge they have to give.

Too bad for them I say. My money is just as good as the other folks, and many times my desire to learn was far greater.

[Dispatcher]

Excellent post!

Suzie will be much happier at a barn where all are treated fairly. This business of hoity toity hunter barns is laughable. It's ridiculous to think that you have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to "compete" A good rider is a good rider, and a good horse is a good horse. I shoud think the love of the sport and animal would take precedence over how much money you spend.

Sad state of affairs.

[Trixie]

Originally Posted by feisomeday
we should all have such "problems"

p.s. DARFUR!!!

P.S. HUMOR!!!!

[Moesha]

Yep, I have to agree with those pointing out the other side of the coin. If said trainer was such a snob and gave you poor SERVICE for the same amount of money, you should have left a long, long time ago. Why didn't you? But on the other hand, if a wealthy client pays for twice the number of lessons, if they are buying and selling horses, if they are going to lots of shows- guess what? They are PAYING for a lot more of the trainer's time. I don't understand why a "smaller" client would be so bitter about that.

I try to focus on doing a good job for all my clients. I give the same quality of lesson for a once a weeker as for a 3x a weeker. I give the same amount of time and energy coaching at a small local show as at a AA rated show. I work as hard trying to match a horse and rider in the 4 figure range as the 5 figure range. And frankly, my job is a lot harder with the inexpensive horse with the smaller training budget. Those clients usually want the same results, but give us less to work with. And sometimes, they keep a huge old chip on the shoulder. Wonder if that's the case here?

You're right, this economy is changing things. I hope that I've been professional and done a good job across the board, so that I'll still be sought after to teach, train and coach at shows. I think the best will be.

Oh and "dear client," I hope you don't get a reputation for being nasty and bitter because you'll find that wonderful clients are welcomed around town into the best barns with waiting lists. "Problem clients" are not.

Excellent Post!

I know it can be difficult to leave a barn and trainer even when the time has come and past....so I can sympathize with that and understand.. and true as a business a trainer has to cater to those who really flip the bills, but trainers still should spend time and give each client as much attenttion as needed....However, every time I have heard a similar story to this one...it is always, in my experience, a person who feels they and their child are entitled to things...many times the trainer has bent over backwards for this person but instead of being grateful they just bemoan and belly ache about clients who simpy have more, even when the more is not neccessarily money but a nice horse or horses, or who do well at the shows...a point comes when the trainer simpy cannot spend the extra time, free lessons, extra rides, etc...and then this type of rant comes out as opposed to any loyalty or gratitude or understanding....not saying this is the case here just pointing out a scenario I have seen many times over that ends up sounding just like this when the free extras stop coming for whatever reason.

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

I love it.

[SmartAlex]

Econo-Nags Unite!!!!