Lost my best friend-advice on what to do with his "stuff"

[LuvMyDressageQH]

OP my thoughts are with you, very sorry for your loss. I found this website http://www.horseshoeguy.com/ and he came to the Syracuse Invitational last year with a whole setup... He can use your horses shoes and make picture frames (single, double, etc) and tons of other neat things with them. Last I heard he was working with an engraver as well to be able to add names and dates for just such a situation.

[Saidapal]

First - I'm sorry for your loss.

One of my girls shoes hangs over the front door for luck, and has been hanging there long before she died. Several of my friends have one of her shoes - real authentic horse shoes hanging over their doors for luck as well.

How about cleaning, and then hanging the saddle pad on the wall like a quilt? You could probably make a very nice arrangment with the halter and shoes, even add a photo and maybe some ribbons you won together.

All my girls stuff is still where it was before she died last fall. (She lived on my property). I still can't bring myself to put one of my other three horses into her empty stall - the one right next the feed room in the place of honor she earned. Instead I still walk to the end of the 4 horse barn to feed my mare. Silly I know, but one day I'll shift them all up one. But until I'm ready they will all stay where they are.

[lovemyoldguy]

I just thought of one other thing, although it's a little off-topic and pretty dorky.

Print off this thread and save a copy of it - I'm going to do that with the thread that I posted when my boy was put down. The responses posted by so many compassionate strangers have been very comforting to me, and I suspect they'll continue to be for a long time.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[jn4jenny]

Firstly, hugs and condolences to you during this time.

Everyone grieves differently, so these ideas may not work for you...but it's what came to my mind as possibilities.

The saddle pad could easily be remade into a throw pillow, sewn into a quilt, even turned into a vest or sewn into the lining of a coat. Alternately, you could have a seamstress take just the portion with the name on it and sew that in as a nameplate on something else, like a blanket or a jacket front (or on the inside if you'd rather keep it "close to the heart").

The shoes could be bronzed for longevity, engraved with his name, or even melted down and cast into a piece of sculpture. Alternately, you could keep and/or hang each of them separately in a special place. It could even become a "good luck horseshoe" for students to touch before leaving a tack room or arena.

The halter, too, has many options. It could be bronzed, hung in a special place in tribute (maybe on a rack made out of two of the shoes), tucked away in a box to see if another very special horse needs it later, or given to a rescue group to honor Cappy's memory. Alternately, you could have it disassembled and reassembled into something else: a bracelet, a key chain, you could even make a piece of jewelry out of one of the fittings (like the O ring at the chin).

Again, all the best to you during this difficult time.

[FlashGordon]

I'm so very sorry for your sudden loss. Sounds like you guys had a really special bond. I know what you mean about never having grieved something so hard-- My heart goes out to you.

My late horse's stuff is all sitting exactly where I left it upon bringing it home from the barn after he passed. His leather halter hangs on a hook, where I see it every day. There are times where I think I am just waiting for his big red head to show up so I can slip it back on...

We are in between houses but once we get settled in our new place I'm going to make a little tribute with his halter, bit, bridle, and my favorite picture of us. In a quiet part of the house, I think.

Other ideas.... I like the ID bracelets, and have thought about getting one. There is a woman who makes beautiful memory pots w/tail hair patterns. Also there are quite a few talented artists out there on COTH who will do portraits very reasonably.

Anyway, again, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I hope the coming days bring you a bit of peace. Sounds like he had a wonderful life with you...

[horsepix76]

I'm so sorry for your loss...

I really like this suggestion too:

The saddle pad, put it away for now. Then someday when you have the next horse that you love, add that horse's name to the pad and ride with both of them with you.

[Minerva Louise]

I am sorry for your loss; you had a wonderful, special bond with your horse and it must be very hard. My heart goes out to you (and everyone) who has lost a special horse. I still miss my special boy. I don't have any new ideas on what to do with his things, but I think you when you find the idea that is right, you will know.

[Trevelyan96]

I am so sorry for your loss! I am going through the same thing! I have tons of Trav's stuff, embroiderend with his name, etc., and a few of those things I just can't bear to part with or put on a new horse, especially his hunter bridle, which has a nameplate. He was our once in a lifetime horse, we've brought him home as a 2 year old, and he and DD grew up together. Every kid in our family has had riding lessons on him when they visit, as well as many of my daughter's friends. He was a part of our family in every way. One of my happiest memories was when my daughter finally 'grew into him' and had her first 'real' lesson on him. From that day forward it was obvious to everyone that she was his 'person'.

So my idea is I am going to ask my wonderfully gifted neighbor to help me build a small glass fronted display case to keep some momentos. It only needs to be about the size a of a medicine cabinet, just a little longer and deeper. I'll buy a nice brass bridle bracket to hang the bridle on in the case, and maybe mount photo inside with other small keepsakes on the bottom or hung insisde somehow. I recieved 2 beautiful poems from fellow COTHERS, and I will probably have one printed up on fancy paper to mount with is picture.

If it works out, which may take years, as although my neighbor is like family and he will definitely agree to help me, he's also SLOW, LOL! But once its done, I think it will be a beautiful way to make Trav's memory as much a part of our life as he was in the 10 years he was with us.

[LouLove]

I don't know what to suggest....a bed toss pillow from the pad???

Anyhow, I am just so sorry for your broken heart and loss. I know where you are. It does get better....and you will feel right because you loved him and did what was best for him at the time.

Hugs to you and Godspeed Capp-man.

LL

[Bogie]

I am very sorry for your loss .

When my boy died last fall I took some hair from his tail. Maybe some day I'll have a bracelet made from it. I will admit that I haven't been able to open the box and sent my husband to Tufts to pick it up.

I have kept his bit and a few special things of his separate. I like the ideas that people are suggesting because I honestly haven't known what I want to do to best remember him.

[nightsong]

It's too early. You are still grieving. Do not destroy/cut up/WHATEVER the things until you are thinking CLEARLY. Then, you may choose to do what *I* did and keep them intact. The thought of cutting up her blanket/whatever is to me the same as cutting up the BODY. It's ALL i've got LEFT...

[hunt_jumpfl]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I really like the idea of a shadow box.

While another horse may come along eventually that earns the right to fill that halter, sometimes it never feels right - so go ahead and frame it. I have a few items from my first mare, and while most are just sitting around they still are there and I still think about her when I see them (and she's been gone for 13 years this summer). The month before she was diagnosed with terminal cancer she won a nice leather halter as a year end award. The only time she wore that halter was on her trip to the University when she was officially diagnosed. When she got home from the University she was retired (she lived about 6 months) and I took that halter home. I thought that one day I might use it again on another horse, but that halter still hangs in the closet at my parents house. I never got to the point of being able to take her hospital ID off of it, much less use it on another horse. Her everyday stable halter went on to be used on my other horses, but that leather halter will always be hers - she earned it.

[RNB]

I think the pad would make a wonderful pillow. If you do not sew find someone who does and have them make one. Have a zipper, button or velcro closing....that way you could remove the pad from the pillow form to be washed when needed.

[Milocalwinnings]

I'm really sorry for your loss. ((( hugs)))

When I lost my mare, all I had from her was a shoe and her halter. I have them both hanging on my wall next to a framed picture of her. I do like the shadow box idea though. I think I may do something like that eventually.

For me, I could never use her halter on another horse... she was the only one who wore it, and if I used it on another horse I'd feel like I was taking part of her away. It's a personal preference though...

[4350833]

When my Blue passed on, I too struggled with what to do with her stuff. I had 17 years worth of tack and supplies, grooming, buckets, you name it. Here's what I did:

Sorted through everything and decided on what items got to be "retired" and what items were going to be passed along to the next horse. Her brushes, for example, were all cleaned (but no hair removed) and are stored in a grooming bucket in my guest bedroom. One of her blankets was passed along to the next horse, but the pretty dark green plaid stable blanket was cleaned and put in a trunk. Two of her saddles were "retired", as well as various halters, bridles, bits, etc.

I have all of the "retired" stuff displayed in my guest bedroom, along with a few ribbons that have special meaning. The blanket and other bulky items are in a beautiful trunk that my DH had made for me, and those are in the guest bedroom as well.

I would advise on cleaning the things that you want to hang on to, and then storing them somewhere in your house. Give yourself some time to process all that's gone on this week, and don't be in a hurry to make any decisions. Your mementos will be there for you in a month or a year for you to decide how you'd like to use them.

((HUGS)) to you and I'm sorry to hear that you lost a special horse.

[Fred]

First of all, please accept my heartfelt condolences on your loss of your beautiful boy.

From my own experience, I can echo the suggestions that you not make any decisions right now, just put the things away until the 'right' thing, for you, comes to mind.

I don't know if you saved any tail hair, but there are people who make beautiful tail hair bracelets.

hugs and shared tears for everyone who has lost a special friend.

[2LeftHooves]

I am so very sorry

I would suggest puting them all in a shadow box. I recently did one for a horse that I had sold a few years ago. Inside I put a framed photo of us right after we won our first blue, the prized ribon, and the four shoes he wore winning it. I hung it some place where I can see it everyday. Shadow boxes are easy to do if you are remotely crafty.

[saultgirl]

On Monday I had to put down my beloved OTTB, Gold Cappuccino due to a freak stall incident that broke his hip. He would have been 6 on April 17 and though I only had him two years his was my best friend and partner and even though I know there is dispute as to whether or not horses "love" or are capable of it, I know he loved me almost as much as I loved him. I was his "it" girl and he was my beloved boy. He was as beautiful and striking as they come - just the epitome of handsome and a one in a million mover to boot. This has been the hardest week of my life - I have never grieved over anything or anyone the way I am grieving over Cappy.

My question is this: I have a saddlepad that has his name embroidered on it, his four shoes that were pulled last fall, and his halter. I would like to do something special with them but don't quite know what. I read on another thread that someone bought an ID bracelet with their horses name on it and I really like that idea but would like to to something with the things I have of his rather than just put them in a box. Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance.

I'm sorry for your loss. How sad at such a young age! I love the idea of making the horseshoes into picture frames. You may also hang a shoe above your door for good luck (does anyone do that anymore? I haven't seen it in a long time!) but make sure you hang it like U and not upside down, so the luck doesn't run out of it, of course!

I'm not sure what i would do with the pad... but I like to use halters on "the next horse", I don't know why.

I was wondering, if you don't mind, could you tell me about the accident in the stall?

[fargonefarm]

First, thank you for all of the wonderful suggestions - they are really great. On Wednesday when my farrier comes out I'm going to ask him to fire up his forge and "flatten" the clips on Cappy's four shoes so that I can hang them. I doubt his halter will ever go on another horse - I can't see myself doing that. But I really like the idea of keeping the saddle pad around for another "special" horse and embroidering his/her name below Cappy's - that sounds nice.
One thing I did do was order a bridle tag from Dover - something I had been meaning to do while he was alive - and I plan on wearing it around my neck. That was he's a little closer to my heart.

A previous poster asked what happened to cause this. Cappy had been on stall rest, beginning last October for damaged ligaments in his back. It was an injury he must have sustained at the track before I got him but we never really knew about. But has he became increasingly sore I took his to MSU and received the diagnosis. In December I began turning him out alone in a small paddock during the day but unfortunately one night in his stall he got himself cast. He must have managed to get himself up because he was standing when I found him (although he blew the door off of his stall) but when I went to turn him out he couldn't walk on his right hind. I immediately called the vet and he ascertained that he must have reinjured those ligaments and to hold off on taking him to MSU for his recheck until the first of March since he needed time to re-heal. He gradually got better to the point where you couldn't really see a lot of lameness, just tightness in his hindquarter. When I took him for his recheck on Monday the leading lameness vet there took one look at him walking and looked at me and told me that his hip was basically gone. Indeed an ultrasound revealed half of the bone was simply in fragments and that muscle tissue had simply grown over the area making him appear more sound. In essence he was going to be handicapped the rest of his life and probably in a fair amount of pain so I made the painful decision to put him down. Out of curiosity I had his ligaments ultrasounded, which was the cause of the original damage - and they had healed perfectly. That is perhaps what got me the most. The original damage ended up healing perfectly and if he hadn't gotten himself cast and broke his hip in the process, I would be riding him again right now.

Anyway, thank you all again for you wonderful suggestions. I'm slowly starting to be able to function again even though a big part of me doesn't want to. Hugs to those of you who have lost your special friends. I've come to realize that the greatest gift they give us isn't their work or the things that can do for us, but rather it's the love they give us.