• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

What Should I Do?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #21
    Well, sweetie, I think you should go trail riding AND feel guilty. After all, you don't get to make plans with a friend weeks ahead of time then blow her off because you were offered something more fun for you to do very often.

    Or do you?

    Nah, just kidding. Blow her off and don't think twice about it.
    Last edited by AnotherRound; Mar. 3, 2009, 08:47 PM. Reason: PS - GREAT first post!!!
    Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.

    Comment


    • #22
      Go with your friend and have a great time. You can ride the trails anytime, now that the weather is turning towards Spring.
      Go and have fun and you will find a friendship that will endure.
      Best Wishes, Sadlmakr

      Comment


      • #23
        Originally posted by Aethonan View Post
        Back before Christmas I offered to let her ride my horse in the next fun day at a local barn. We both know people who board at this barn, and I thought it would be fun to haul over there for the day.
        She called me a couple of weeks ago to say that the next fun day is March
        14th and wanted to firm up our plans.
        Do you often back out of committments to friends?

        Comment


        • #24
          Originally posted by coloredhorse View Post
          My wise gramma has a saying that I and my sibs heard often -- directly from her and from our own parents -- growing up: A promise made lightly is still a promise to be kept. The point being that you don't make a promise and then beg off if it is inconvenient or a better offer comes up.

          Comment


          • #25
            I say keep the commitment to your friend. As others noted, you are now at a barn with trails. You can enjoy those anytime. You said you'd do the next fun day. Keep your word. It's worth much more than a trailride.

            Comment


            • #26
              If you made a commitment to your friend, honor that commitment.

              Comment


              • #27
                "Strangers are exciting, their mystery never ends. But, there's nothing like looking at your own history in the faces of your friends."
                -Ani DiFranco

                Comment


                • #28
                  keep the commitment you made to your friend. she'll be grateful for it.

                  my bf is constantly backing out of plans (whether with me, his friends, family, whatever) if something "better" comes along, often last-minute, and it drives me INSANE. it makes me feel like i can't count on him to hold up his end of things. if backing out of commitments is something you do often, i can understand the frustration your friends must feel.

                  setting a standard of keeping commitments builds a reputation that you are someone that can be counted on and trusted to uphold your word, which is, IMO, invaluable.
                  Proud member of the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique

                  PONY'TUDE

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    Originally posted by 2LaZ2race View Post
                    "Strangers are exciting, their mystery never ends. But, there's nothing like looking at your own history in the faces of your friends."
                    -Ani DiFranco
                    Best response yet.

                    All you really have in life is the intangible things you will leave with others, your word and your reputation for kindness and honesty.

                    You PROMISED. You break that, you will no longer enjoy the trust and respect from this friend...who helped you out when you needed her to ride for you.

                    Now, she needs help from you to go to that promised play day.

                    So be a real friend and give back, not just a user/taker when it works for you.
                    When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                    The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      I can not believe someone would have to ask this.

                      Yes it is your horse so I guess you do have the last say in what happens but are you really asking if it is OK to back out on a long term promise to a friend for a trail ride?



                      Oh my!

                      Your new barn has access to trails and people that ride, I am sure there will be lots of trail rides for you all season long.

                      This friend is helping you out by riding your horse when you do not have time. Do not think that is an easy thing to replace.

                      Honor your commitment to your friend. Otherwise I am not sure how much of a friend you actually are.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Sorry, I am not going to tell you what you want to hear either. You made a commitment and you should keep it. There really is no other alternative.

                        coloredhorse - I was always taught the same thing about promises and am passing that wisdom on to my daughters. It isn't always easy to do the right thing but it does feel oh so much better in the end! \

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          I get into this situation quite often as I have a lot of kids that ride my horses for me, I can't ride them all and my own kids are living with their Dad hours away for school season.

                          in this situation, I always choose to please the children and forgo my "wants". I'd most likely lump grown adult friends into the "forgo my wants" category.

                          honor your committment to your friend. it's just good karma. you can trail ride any time.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            Doesn't sound like the trails are going anywhere...
                            If we have to nail on talent, it's not talent.
                            Founder, Higher Standards Leather Care Addicts Anonymous

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              I agree with the group...keep the promise to your friend.

                              Yeah, I know....but you already knew the answer before you posted.
                              "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                I really want to thank all of you who have responded to this thread.

                                I am going to do what I really want to do, which is go to the fun day. This friend is a very good one and like some of the quotes some of you posted there is an old saying/song my mother taught me when I was little: "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold."

                                I want to get along with the new friends at the new barn but, as you point out, the trails will still be there on other days and the other barn has only 3-4fun days per year.

                                Rev, thank you for the suggestion about taking the new friends to the fun day. That is a really good idea. There is a six-horse trailer available so we could possibly take a bunch of horses and riders with us if they want to go.

                                Thank you all so much for the good feedback. I don't like riding in rings but my friend does, much more than on trails.

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  Good to hear.

                                  Have a wonderful day at the fun day and all the best on the trails in the future.

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    Kudos for not disappointing your friend.

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      Originally posted by Aethonan View Post
                                      I am going to do what I really want to do, which is go to the fun day. This friend is a very good one and like some of the quotes some of you posted there is an old saying/song my mother taught me when I was little: "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold."

                                      I want to get along with the new friends at the new barn but, as you point out, the trails will still be there on other days and the other barn has only 3-4fun days per year.

                                      Rev, thank you for the suggestion about taking the new friends to the fun day. That is a really good idea. There is a six-horse trailer available so we could possibly take a bunch of horses and riders with us if they want to go.

                                      Thank you all so much for the good feedback. I don't like riding in rings but my friend does, much more than on trails.
                                      This it be right.
                                      <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

                                      Comment

                                      Working...
                                      X