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The Silly Things That Annoy You Around Horses And The Barn

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  • #61
    First storm of the winter is coming. One of those rare, certain forecasts--you can see, hear, smell it coming. Heavy snow, freezing temps, but not high wind, so probably won't lose power. Fill water trough high enough to last through three or four days of really cold stuff with tank heaters; temps are to drop overnight, so double-blanket the horses.

    Between the time of double blanketing, and the temperature actually really bottoming out, Dipper decides he's feeling too warm and goes swimming in the water trough. Now, have extra-full trough of muddy water with shavings floating on top, to go with frozen hose and water hydrant. For three days.

    Last time I double-blanketed THAT fellow!
    "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

    Spay and neuter. Please.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by monstrpony View Post
      First storm of the winter is coming. One of those rare, certain forecasts--you can see, hear, smell it coming. Heavy snow, freezing temps, but not high wind, so probably won't lose power. Fill water trough high enough to last through three or four days of really cold stuff with tank heaters; temps are to drop overnight, so double-blanket the horses.

      Between the time of double blanketing, and the temperature actually really bottoming out, Dipper decides he's feeling too warm and goes swimming in the water trough. Now, have extra-full trough of muddy water with shavings floating on top, to go with frozen hose and water hydrant. For three days.

      Last time I double-blanketed THAT fellow!

      That one made me crack up!!! These are great! Along with the trough of muddy water, you also have a few very wet horse blankets!
      Dapplebay - home of original equestrian clothing and accessories.

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      • #63
        Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
        Worst is dropping the hose and it lands on the sprayer handle so you get BLASTED with the water and always in your face and/or crotch.
        This makes me say really bad words. I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! But I never learn NOT to drop it.

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        • #64
          Push the wheelbarrow into the stall with the poopiest horse I have, and fill it up with 27 cu ft of manure and discover that the tire is as flat as a pancake. So I go ahead and strain pushing it up the ramp to the poop trailer and after getting a hernia, the hubby runs out and says, "Oh Honey. I forgot to tell you that the tire is almost flat on the wheelbarrow." GRRRRRRR!!!!
          I am trying to be the person my horse thinks I am.

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          • #65
            Getting stepped on by young horse
            Pooped on while picking hoof
            horse opening stall doors and arranging 5 horses in to others stalls, then closing stall doors, making you think you are crazy, cause how did the horses get into others stalls? Then you figure it out when guilty party does not put himself back in a stall.
            http://community.webshots.com/user/summitspringsfarm

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            • #66
              misty blue, you just made me lapse into hysterics.

              Originally Posted by Slewdledo View Post
              When you get all set up to bring your horse in and work with it because you feel bad that you and the horse have been lazy butts all winter and the horse REALLY needs to get worked with. Hell, horse hasn't really been groomed since...January? So you assemble all your tack (horse is not broken, so just saddle, chifney bit, grooming tools), get halter and leadrope, and go out to field.

              Horse and horse's friends decide it's a greaaaaat morning to run and run and run and run. Horse's friends finally get tired and come over for scratches. Horse does not.

              So your goal goes from "Bring horse in, groom horse, tack horse, take horse for walk, give horse treats, put horse back"

              to

              JUST F-ING STOP F-ING RUNNING LONG ENOUGH THAT I CAN AT LEAST TOUCH YOU WITH ONE LOUSY FINGERTIP.

              Did I mention it's pouring down rain, windy, muddy, and cold enough that it snowed the previous night? And the horse has never, ever run away before?
              i feel your pain. there was this one instance that my friends and especially the BO like to bring up for a laugh at my expense. this also doubles as a Public Saftey Announcement: if it is raining out, just leave the g** d*** donkey outside.

              there was a new donkey that was living in the pen for the cows. it started raining so i went to bring it in. donkey didnt like this idea, and the scene that commenced was as follows:
              1) donkey runs away from zakattack.
              2) zakattack tries to cut donkey off, but in changing direction quickly, plummets toward the earth.
              3) zakattack lands in the muddy paddock, in two inches of mud and cow sh**.
              4)donkey laughs
              5) barn friends and workers, owner, and my father all laugh
              6) zakattack goes home and takes three showers in the span of two hours and does some serious laundry

              that luckily was an isolated incident

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              • #67
                Originally posted by Penthilisea View Post
                3. Leading the retired ISH out to pasture on a cold day. The driveway is frozen and I am walking verrrry carefully. But not carefully enough. Imagine road runner on ice and you have me aslipping and asliding while stupidly HOLDING the lead rope. Humans do not normal move this way so the ISH spooks. And slips too on the ice. So now the the two of us are doing road runner ice capades. Finally I give up and hit the ground. Owwie! ISH makes it to the grass, but will. Not. Let. me. Near. Him. Had to have a friend turn him out that day. I'm still sure he hasn't forgotten my "special dance".
                Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
                Worst is dropping the hose and it lands on the sprayer handle so you get BLASTED with the water and always in your face and/or crotch.
                OK I am crying now!!! The hose thing has happened so many times I can't even begin to count them!
                This winter the path to the pasture has been a solid sheet of ice. I have slid down it holding onto my poor horse on several occasions, thankfully he's happy to carry me. If he were a spooky horse he'd probably never let me near him again!

                i also have to throw in honorable mention to the manure pile that is down the same icy hill from the barn. I've managed to slide my way down to it with the full wheelbarrow. but somehow seem to manage to flip the wheelbarrow on top of myself on the way back up to the barn....still not sure how it happens, one second I'm carefully maneuvering it back up the hill, the the next I am lying flat on my back with the wheelbarrow on top of me!

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                • #68
                  My co-workers have thought I lost my mind.

                  I ALWAYS smack myself in the head when ducking under the bars of the trailer. Horse is looking at me like I am a idiot.

                  Cleaning stalls filling the buckets up to the top...loading into the gator. AND dropping most of it on you. Yeah...that was a day i took the clothes off in the garage.
                  Insignia MC - Spanish PRE mare
                  Kenny - Hanoverian Gelding
                  Tuggy - RIP at the bridge (9/12/2016)
                  Theodore the Boxer - RIP at the the bridge (10/5/2017)

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by MistyBlue View Post
                    My husband does that...he insists on doing a chore or repair that I was already doing but I HAVE to stand there and watch him do it and hand him everything he needs and then he just wants to do certain parts and walks away with it unfinished. For some odd reason he adores having me watch him do stuff...like rake the paddock. If I walk into the barn and start other chores he keeps calling me back out so I can stand and marvel at his tractor driving skills....which doesn't bother me overly much because at least I'm handy to go grab the tow chains and truck for when he inevitably gets the tractor stuck, LOL! *sigh* Spousal machismo requires an audience.
                    Dude, your husband and my husband must be related. LMAO

                    And your other post made me crack up. Especially the shitmobile.
                    2016 RRP Makeover Competitor www.EnviousBid.com

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                    • #70
                      I have definately clocked myself in the shins from a wheelbarrel that is no longer moving.

                      I have spent many afternoons that I intended to ride doing the slow motion chase through the pasture (way more annoying than the running because they stay just out of your reach )

                      I hate when I just finish cleaning a stall with the horse in there and they decide that a clean stall just isn't homey ....can't they wait until I am looking the other way or have left?

                      My biggest annoyance right now is herd bound mares. They are driving me nuts. I have seperated them because working with them has gotten impossible...and watching the one spin in her stall while the other is turned out is driving me nuts Needless to say, they are no longer getting turned out together. Hopefully she will have tired herself out by the time I get home this evening.

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                      • #71
                        Originally posted by heatherny2 View Post
                        My Andy always decides to lift tail and pass wind when I'm picking the hind feet, as if, this is what I think of you.
                        !!
                        I just thought my mare's digestive tract is some how related to her rear feet as I ALWAYS get the gas when I am picking out her hind feet....

                        My mare always insists in pooping as soon as she gets into the trailer, I guess this is good as I do not have to worry about her trying to stop in the middle of my dressage test to poop? ...
                        We do not have an overpopulation of dogs, we have an under population of responsible dog owners!!!

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                        • #72
                          Well, at least I'm not alone in the horse world. I've done most of these, including catching the muck fork and punching myself during girthing.

                          I also hate when you are blanketing a horse, get most of the straps done. Go to snap the straps that pass between the rear legs. ALMOST got it snapped and the horse decides to move, either pulling the strap from your fingers or leaving you following along behind, still trying to attach the snap and yelling WHOA! the entire way around the stall.

                          Or how about being bent down to put bell boots on. Decide to take the lazy course and do both while standing on one side. Horse decides to shift weight and WHAMO - knee to the forehead.

                          I also tend to do turnout at the barn two at a time. Probably not the safest thing but I try to pair them up by buddies. Leading the two QUIETEST horses in the barn towards the rear doors when the two barn kittens decide that is the perfect time to play tag through the rear doors. Both quiet horses spook, jump and land perfectly on each foot.

                          This happened yesterday. Windy day, temp is rapidly dropping. The four mares are out front in the front ring for turnout. Trash is by the road for Monday morning pick-up. It's been there ALL DAY. Horses have been out ALL DAY. I and a few others come out to grab them to bring them all in and suddenly the trash, that has been there ALL DAY, becomes a horse eating monster and mares start running the fence and spooking, but refuse to stop so you can catch them and lead them away from said scay pile of garbage. If you do manage to catch one, the others charge them so that you have to let them go before you can hook up the lead rope. Actually, I don't rightly remember how we managed to finally catch them all, but I do remember drama ensued as did the use of shank chains.

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                          • #73
                            Poop luge! ROFLMAO!!!
                            Poop in the mouth! Ditto!

                            Catching fork on door and flinging muck everywhere except into cart - check
                            Brushes flying - check
                            Hoof picks - I don't hurt myself with them, but I send them flying, too.
                            Standing on blanket parts - occasionally
                            Spraying myself with the hose and/or sprayer - check
                            Sloshing water - check
                            Electric fence in the crotch - I try not to!
                            Hand slipping off the girth - check
                            Dropping the saddle - check
                            Peed in feed pans - check
                            Frozen hoses - check
                            Poop in water buckets - check
                            Frozen or broken sprayers - check
                            Catching the muck cart/wheelbarrow on something, stop dead and either fall into or nearly fly over the top - check

                            Flipping the muck cart as in above example and having to pick up all the muck - in the dark! And the ground is frozen!

                            Getting to the gate area on the way to the manure pile, but it's icy and I get to slip and slide all the way down - either right into the gate if it's closed or all the way down (usually to the ground) if it's not.

                            Cleaning the paddock with daughter who has been cleaning stalls and paddock for 6 years and finding yourself the apparent target of her poop-flinging. She scoops up poop to fling over the fence into the manure pile and while I'm there, I really shouldn't be in the way. But instead of overhanding the fork to throw the poop, she swings the fork flat like a golf club and the shit flies into ME horizontally instead of being lobbed overhand into the pile.

                            Hoses that spring leaks and spray on you before you figure out (a) what that feeling is (getting wet), (b) that it's coming from the hose, and (c) WHERE it's leaking from the hose.

                            The tops of my stalls are open and I have a habit of hanging blankets over the walls. The horses take them off. If I'm lucky, they drop on the outside of the stall. If I'm not ...

                            Thinking that I've snapped the stall gates closed and finding the next morning that someone had a one-horse party in the barn aisle and helped himself to the hay.

                            Walking along with the horse who manages somehow to step on your shoe pinning your foot to the ground while your momentum keeps you going - straight into the ground and spraining your wrist.

                            Wrestling with halters that either won't buckle on or won't unbuckle.

                            Wrestling with T-hooks on blankets (especially Rambos) with frozen hands and being completely unable to either hook the darn thing or get it unhooked!

                            Putting my gloves down in a dog-accessible place and then losing one glove of a cherished pair. Doubly upsetting when it's the farrier's glove! Found the glove about two years later!

                            The same goes with brushes of all kinds. One brush was found a couple years later with all the bristles completely rotted away.

                            Leaving the longe whip out in the arena and you forget about until the next time you're looking for it.

                            Leaving the dog-accessible supplement bin open and finding the dog helping himself to the expensive stuff.

                            Cleaning stalls and trying to really fill the cart so climb up into it to really pack it down and hit my head on the beams because the ceiling is only 6 1/2 feet tall. My daughter is 6 feet tall and does this more than once.

                            Climb into the muck cart (see above) and tip the whole dang thing over spilling the contents and me onto the floor. If I'm luck, I'm still standing but with muck in my boots. If I'm not, I'm flat out on the floor with muck all over me and in my boots. Actually, it's my daughter that does this. I try to stay out of the muck cart.

                            Having your horse stand on the strap that goes under your boots of your brand-new winter overpants breaking the strap.

                            Having your too-smart horse pull the plug on either the fan or the heated water bucket depending on the season. (See note above about stall walls.)

                            Having same horse open the barn gate from either inside his stall (just to be annoying) or from outside the barn so he can get back into the barn to be annoying.

                            Forgetting in all your comings and goings while letting the horses eat, that you forgot you left the gate open to the house yard and letting the horses out of their stalls, only to find that the smart-ass too-smart horse took one look at the open gate and said "hallelujah, here I go!" and leading everyone out into the yard around the house. And it's round up time! Hah!

                            Having to bail out said barn because it's flooded again - gutters need cleaning and the only person crazy enough to go that high up is hubby and he's not around or I'm not around to hold the ladder. Not that there's anything I could do to steady the ladder for someone who weighs twice what I do and he's about 20 feet in the air!

                            Hubby - (1) convinced that the paddock does not need more grit even though we can all plainly see that the grit has washed down into the fields. "The problem" as he sees it is the accumulation of "organic matter" (read manure) that will "eventually overwhelm the grit" and everything will need to be removed and new footing put in. Or we'll end up with the paddock being 3 feet taller than it currently is.

                            (2) Won't allow herbicides to be used in the arena for fear of angering the neighbors by killing their plants, while we see the whole neighborhood with noxious weeds.

                            (3) Tries to kill the weeds in said arena by using the box blade on beloved tractor and digs up the base, bringing up all kinds of rocks, some as big as a foot square.

                            (4) Fervently believes that the way to kill said weeds in said arena is by dragging the roots of said weeds into the sunlight and "killing" them. But he's completely clueless to the fact that said weeds have about 100 seeds on them that he's now planted.

                            (5) Decides to burn some stumps and not only arranges the gasoline cans (plural!) downhill of fire so that if a log rolled off it would run straight into said cans, but

                            (6) has also gotten the beloved tractor stuck uphill of said fire with the front-end loader directly over the fire and in danger of toppling into said fire. He of course needs MY personal help to get it out of danger, using come alongs, etc. For some reason he never remembers that he has a full-grown son who could help.

                            (7) has a beloved flame weeder (read flame thrower) that he just loves to use, especially when I'm starting my youngster and he had to wait until that exact time to use it. It makes a lot of noise and smoke and flames!

                            (8) has a beloved Mini Cooper. One day everything was frozen and he was trying to clear the driveway, etc., and needed to move the Mini. The doors were frozen shut. The only thing he could think of using to open the doors was to use said beloved flame thrower. I envisioned a mushroom cloud going up with the Mini at the center - $20K going up in smoke. I did manage to talk him out of it, reminding him that we have a heat gun and a hair dryer or two.

                            (9) has a beloved tractor tool (actually many) - a landscape rake - that he refuses to use in any other position except at a 90 degree angle to the way he's going. So he gets a huge pile of arena footing piled up in it and he decides to either dump it at the gate so that now the gate no longer swings open or in a corner he thinks is unused. Not.

                            Having previously mentioned dogs trying to help you herd the horses - usually by getting in front of them and barking in their faces while you're trying to get the horses to go OUT of the barn.

                            Then there was "Goat Rodeo Day", April 1, 2003 (or was it 2004?).

                            I decided to get goats to eat the brambles. Not only did they not eat the brambles, but my one dog decided that goats were evil and did not belong on the property. Within 12 hours of my bringing the goats home, dog attacked goat.

                            First they ran around inside their stall and when I tried to open the gate to somehow get the dog, the goats ran out and everyone was then circling in a different area of the barn. Then they went into the pony's stall and chased each other around the pony in there. Then the goat made a mad dash to escape from there only to get cornered by the dog. Got the dog off and put him in the house and proceeded to doctor goat.

                            In all the confusion of trying to doctor goat, I left said yard gate open (see above). So that by the time I finished with goat and could let the horses out for the day, said smart-ass too-smart horse did his thing and led the herd out the open gate.

                            That would have been annoying enough except that, not only were they highly excited and exited at a high rate of speed, but the driveway gate was also open because we had workmen at the house for remodeling.

                            Needless to say, the herd went high-tailing it down the long driveway to the street.

                            In muck boots and not a lead rope to be found, I went down the street with one halter. Actually it was up the street. It's hard to run uphill in muck boots and a heavy-ish jacket.

                            By the time I get to the corner, I can't even see them. I keep running. I find a neighbor on his cell phone in his driveway talking to his boss. He told his boss he was going to be late to work because of the loose horses. As it was April Fool's Day, his boss didn't believe him until he heard the hoof beats on the road as two horses and two ponies went flying by.

                            I managed to catch the OTTB, get the halter on him, and walk him back to the barn. Thank God for racetrack training in this instance. He's the only horse I had at the time that I could have walked 1/2 mile back to the barn without a lead rope and actually get there.

                            One of the workmen from the house joined me to get the other horses who had by now crossed the street into an open field.

                            Someone had called the cops and they had blocked off the street.

                            I had a bucket of grain now, more halters, and I managed to find lead ropes. I caught the smart-ass and Sean caught the ancient pony. I knew the other pony would follow us. So we caravanned through the field, across the road with the cops holding traffic and down the street to home.

                            I breathed a sigh of relief. Too soon.

                            Smart-ass broke away from me 50 feet from my open driveway gate and ran right. I ran to head him off and he broke left and faced with a choice of my open gate vs. my neighbor's open gate, which did he choose? You guessed it - my neighbor's.

                            Sean took Methuselah to the barn and smart-ass and the small pony decorated my neighbor's lawn with divets and poop as they completely circumnavigated her house.

                            She was not best pleased. In fact, she called the state police.

                            I did get them all caught again and I did repair her lawn - against her wishes, mind you - and I've worked really hard to never let that happen again! I'm still keeping my fingers crossed! But it's been at least 5 years now.

                            And, BTW, the goats went to a new home.
                            Last edited by Twiliath; Mar. 2, 2009, 02:01 PM. Reason: left things out
                            Laurie Higgins
                            www.coreconnexxions.com
                            ________________
                            "Expectation is premeditated disappointment."

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by Gray Horse H/J View Post
                              Oh thank God - I'm not the only one who's done this!

                              My particular annoyance is when you're currying and brushing a shedding horse - a shedding WHITE horse is particularly annoying with this - with the big barn door open because it's a nice spring day, and all the hairs are shedding off - and blowing into your face. Even better if you have lip balm or something on. And of course wearing black.

                              I am also completely incapable of carrying a bucket of water ANYWHERE without spilling at least some of it down my leg.
                              DITTO! I seem to somehow ALWAYS do this which is so annoying. I gave myself a black eye once, and everyone was like, OMG WHAT HAPPENED? I feel so stupid telling them I was trying to tighten my horsie's girth and punched myself in the face.....
                              proud owner of a crazy dutch warmblood

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                              • #75
                                Originally posted by MistyBlue View Post
                                All of these and:

                                When I use the sled and a muck bucket to pick paddocks in the snow and seem to forget every time that the trip to the manure pile is DOWN hill and that the sled will pick up speed behind me, slam into the backs of my ankles and make me sit down hard in the crap-filled muck bucket...while I then slide at break-neck speed to the manure pile stuck in a run-away shitmobile.

                                Even more stupid...when I have selective memory and forget that I can NOT balance standing on the back of the poop-sled on the ride downhill to the manure pile. I forget this at least once every winter. Common result...me and sled part ways at Mach 2 at the height of the manure pile...the landing usually hurts.

                                Setting my glove's fingers on fire when I use the mini blow torch.
                                (yes, I'm uncoordinated) Neighbors are used to seeing me run around with a flaming hand...or seeing me with my "home made" fingerless gloves.

                                When I sling a blanket over a horse and get clocked in the head by a strap buckle.

                                When I'm tightening a girth and my hands slide off and I punch myself in the face.
                                (seriously...I'm REALLY uncoordinated)
                                I'm so sorry ... BUT .... ROTFLMAO!!!

                                I especially like the fact that you tried to solve the ankle smacking from the manure sled... only to try and manure sled surf haha

                                And yes... everyone (even tho they won't admit it) has bopped themselves in the head trying to tighten a girth... looked around to see if anyone saw... then do it again lol

                                It's so effing hilarious cuz it's true!!! It sounds like the makings of a very funny 'horse' book... or something to plan a skit around on youtube LOL And now everyone in the office is staring at me laughing....

                                Thanks tho
                                Carol and Princess Dewi

                                **~Doccer'sDressage~**

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                                • #76
                                  Originally posted by 2boys View Post
                                  This makes me say really bad words. I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! But I never learn NOT to drop it.
                                  I always get it in the face, on my glasses. Of course the only towels are sandy/dirty/dusty/oily and cannot be used on insanely expensive new "no line" bifocals with extra cost super thin (still look like coke bottles) and upgraded frame.
                                  F O.B
                                  Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
                                  Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique

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                                  • #77
                                    My question is.. how does it get in there?

                                    The one piece of hay. When you have on:

                                    a bra
                                    a camisole
                                    a turtleneck
                                    a fleece with a hoodie that is UP
                                    a vest
                                    a coat

                                    HOW IN THE HELL DOES THAT ONE PIECE OF HAY GET IN YOUR BRA??!!!!!
                                    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
                                    ---
                                    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.

                                    Comment


                                    • #78
                                      Originally posted by EqTrainer View Post
                                      My question is.. how does it get in there?

                                      The one piece of hay. When you have on:

                                      a bra
                                      a camisole
                                      a turtleneck
                                      a fleece with a hoodie that is UP
                                      a vest
                                      a coat

                                      HOW IN THE HELL DOES THAT ONE PIECE OF HAY GET IN YOUR BRA??!!!!!

                                      Each stem of hay contains a built-in homing device.
                                      "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

                                      Graphite/Pastel Portraits

                                      Comment


                                      • #79
                                        Originally posted by Linny View Post
                                        I always get it in the face, on my glasses. Of course the only towels are sandy/dirty/dusty/oily and cannot be used on insanely expensive new "no line" bifocals with extra cost super thin (still look like coke bottles) and upgraded frame.
                                        Ooooh! And that one reminds me... when you finish grooming in shedding season, or wiping on Cowboy Magic, or sheath cleaning, or de-mudding with your fingernails, or picking hooves, or doing something similarly dirty... and then your contact lens itches, and you move it.

                                        (Incidentally Clear Eyes for horses does not work well on humans with contacts.)
                                        "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

                                        Graphite/Pastel Portraits

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                                        • #80
                                          I wear coke bottle glasses because of 30 years + I have shot more horse related chemicals into my eyes than can be counted. How about the squirt bottle of thrush medicine that wont squirt. SQUEEZE the bottle with all my strength and nothing happens. Hold it upright, look into the top and accidently squeeze gently by accident and shoot a pint of the stuff into my eyes!
                                          F O.B
                                          Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
                                          Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique

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