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The Silly Things That Annoy You Around Horses And The Barn

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  • #21
    Hay

    Mucking and loading the wheelbarrow up super heavy, super high because you are too lazy to take two loads then having said wheelbarrow fall over on top of you on the manure pile and an actual ball rolls into your open, gaping mouth....Open because you are screaming as you go down and your mouth is a big fat "OOOOOOOOOOOOO" and the ball opportunistically rolls into your mouth...That is bad...

    Or maybe tasting Betadine as you squirt it into an abcess which then just happens to burst at that minute...and it squirts right into your open mouth. Open because you know can get better tension on the hypo with an open, gaping mouth and your tongue sticking out too! Ugh
    Sorry! But that barn smell is my aromatherapy!
    One of our horsey bumper stickers! www.horsehollowpress.com
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    • #22
      When you've just gotten out of the shower (this was last year visiting my uncle in Maine, btw - thank GOD it doesn't get this cold in Florida) and your hair is still wet, and you look out the window and see a loose horse. You fly out the door, round up the horse, go to brush the hair out of your eyes, and...instant bangs. I lost 4" of hair that day because it was frozen and I'm not used to frozen hair. It just snapped off.

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      • #23
        Originally posted by WorthTheWait95 View Post
        Carrying water buckets and sloshing it down your leg even when you're being REALLY REALLY careful not to.

        Going to toss a fork load of manure into the wheelbarrow, catching it on the side of door and dumping it all over the aisle.
        WTW, are we twins?
        Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
        Witherun Farm
        http://witherun-farm.blogspot.com/

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        • #24
          Originally posted by pines4equines View Post
          Mucking and loading the wheelbarrow up super heavy, super high because you are too lazy to take two loads then having said wheelbarrow fall over on top of you on the manure pile and an actual ball rolls into your open, gaping mouth....Open because you are screaming as you go down and your mouth is a big fat "OOOOOOOOOOOOO" and the ball opportunistically rolls into your mouth...That is bad...

          Or maybe tasting Betadine as you squirt it into an abcess which then just happens to burst at that minute...and it squirts right into your open mouth. Open because you know can get better tension on the hypo with an open, gaping mouth and your tongue sticking out too! Ugh
          My goodness, you gotta keep your mouth shut!!

          But I have eaten gross shavings trying to dump a wheelbarrow in hurricane wind.....
          Jigga:
          Why must you chastise my brilliant idea with facts and logic? **picks up toys (and wine) and goes home**

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          • #25
            I can never seem to hold onto a curry comb... they flip out from under my hand, then of course bounce away....
            Oh geez...me too. I can't hold onto curries or brushes if I'm flicking dirt off the coat. You always know when I'm grooming because you hear brushes flying and thunking off the walls. Small hand syndrom...I find it easier if I have brushes with hand straps or brushes made for children. But sometimes the brushes with straps flip around in my hand and I end up holding the bristle side, LOL!

            Never happend to me but eons ago my sister was wheeling an overloaded barrow out of the barn full of nasty muck. The barrow bounced off the edge of the concrete barn aisle into deep soft mud outside and stopped dead and my sister's hips hit the top edge and flipped her face-first into the full barrow! I damned near pissed myself laughing that day...STILL don't let her forget it!
            You jump in the saddle,
            Hold onto the bridle!
            Jump in the line!
            ...Belefonte

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            • #26
              Anybody ever hit a bump when pushing a wheelbarrow, so that your wheelbarrow STOPS DEAD-and your momentum keeps going right INTO the wheelbarrow? Happened today. I love reading about others having the same issues as me! Next time one of these happen, hopefully I will chuckle instead of saying inappropriate words.

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              • #27
                Originally posted by MistyBlue View Post
                Never happend to me but eons ago my sister was wheeling an overloaded barrow out of the barn full of nasty muck. The barrow bounced off the edge of the concrete barn aisle into deep soft mud outside and stopped dead and my sister's hips hit the top edge and flipped her face-first into the full barrow! I damned near pissed myself laughing that day...STILL don't let her forget it!
                Oops. Neglected to read this. This was me today.

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                • #28
                  Originally posted by MistyBlue View Post
                  All of these and:

                  When I use the sled and a muck bucket to pick paddocks in the snow and seem to forget every time that the trip to the manure pile is DOWN hill and that the sled will pick up speed behind me, slam into the backs of my ankles and make me sit down hard in the crap-filled muck bucket...while I then slide at break-neck speed to the manure pile stuck in a run-away shitmobile.

                  Even more stupid...when I have selective memory and forget that I can NOT balance standing on the back of the poop-sled on the ride downhill to the manure pile. I forget this at least once every winter. Common result...me and sled part ways at Mach 2 at the height of the manure pile...the landing usually hurts.
                  Okay, I have now read this five times over and I am just NOW able to see out of my tear-soaked eyes from laughing so hard...
                  *friend of bar.ka

                  "Evidently, I am an unrepentant b*tch, possible trouble maker, and all around super villian"

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                  • #29
                    I hate when the horse I know is a TB (no QH anywhere) bloats up as soon as I go to pull the girth up to the second hole. The frozen claw of a hand lets go and I invariably end up with an ugly blood blister and a swollen finger.

                    I almost put an eye out last month with a blanket buckle and I am happy to see I'm not the only "brush flinger" in the northeast. I have big hands but they are not strong enough to handle my overwhelming arm strenth. Then, there is that special gravitational force that carries hoof picks and other small items to the bottom of a black tack box located in a dark corner. When spring comes and the side doors at the barn are once again re-opened and the aisle is flooded with light, I'm sure I'll find a treasure trove of goodies down there.
                    F O.B
                    Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
                    Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique

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                    • #30
                      Originally posted by cnvh View Post
                      Okay, I have now read this five times over and I am just NOW able to see out of my tear-soaked eyes from laughing so hard...
                      You and me both, several of these posts truely did make me howl with laughter.
                      There are friends and faces that may be forgotten, but there are horses that never will be. - Andy Adams

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                      • #31
                        When you get all set up to bring your horse in and work with it because you feel bad that you and the horse have been lazy butts all winter and the horse REALLY needs to get worked with. Hell, horse hasn't really been groomed since...January? So you assemble all your tack (horse is not broken, so just saddle, chifney bit, grooming tools), get halter and leadrope, and go out to field.

                        Horse and horse's friends decide it's a greaaaaat morning to run and run and run and run. Horse's friends finally get tired and come over for scratches. Horse does not.

                        So your goal goes from "Bring horse in, groom horse, tack horse, take horse for walk, give horse treats, put horse back"

                        to

                        JUST F-ING STOP F-ING RUNNING LONG ENOUGH THAT I CAN AT LEAST TOUCH YOU WITH ONE LOUSY FINGERTIP.

                        Did I mention it's pouring down rain, windy, muddy, and cold enough that it snowed the previous night? And the horse has never, ever run away before?

                        It's a uterus, not a clown car. - Sayyedati

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                        • #32
                          Sudden stoppage of full wheelbarrow-check
                          punch self in face whilst doing up girth-check
                          brush flinging-check
                          blanket clip flung onto any frozen skin surface-check

                          My peeve is that if there is a frozen turd to be found stuck to the ground...I WILL find it! Either turning over on my ankle or stubbing my toes on it!
                          My most un-favourite thing is when you're doing anything around the back end and the tail starts going at hyper speed trying to get flies, you just know you are going to get "tail whipped" in the eyes.

                          The manure pile shitmobile made me spew coffee all over the screen
                          Last edited by crzychestnutrider; Feb. 28, 2009, 11:36 PM. Reason: dyslexic moment
                          *PPP Member*
                          "Official" Couch Critic

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                          • #33
                            Originally posted by crzychestnutrider View Post
                            Sudden stoppage of full wheelbarrow-check
                            punch self in face whilst doing up girth-check
                            brush flinging-check
                            blanket clip flung onto any frozen skin surface-check:
                            Yep, been there done that.

                            My biggest pet peeve though is deciding that I can get one more muck bucket of straw loaded onto the manure spreader that is already way waaaaaay over the side rails, only to have the straw come crashing down on my head and naturally down my shirt and into my bra. So then I spend the rest of the day itching like crazy until I finally relent, take off however many layers of clothes I have on to find the one annoying as heck piece of straw.

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                            • Original Poster

                              #34
                              These are too funny!

                              I, too, always punch myself in the face while doing the girth.

                              And in the morning while cleaning stables, you can usually her a darn it (the nice version), as one of us clangs our pitchfork into trailer or side of stable.

                              The kinked up hose really annoys me, especially when you're trying to hose mud off of legs and it's windy.

                              And how about the one time you have to say do something different in your horses routine. Mine always work then get turned out for the day. Or they're turned out close in a pen, work, then put out for the day. Last week we sold a yearling and the guy came to pick her up. This meant moving my big 3yo warmblood filly and her sister. Just wanted to bring them up for one min to move said filly. Well, bring the 2 fillies up and the snorting starts, then the other horses in the pen start the snorting and galloping and before you know it I'm just decoration on the end of my filly's lead! For goodness sakes, we are just moving some horses around, take a break.

                              Misty Blue, my lord you had me laughing this morning!

                              Terri
                              COTH, keeping popcorn growers in business for years.

                              "I need your grace to remind me to find my own." Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars. This line reminds me why I have horses.

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                              • #35
                                Does anyone else cut themselves with their hoof pick? I've done this a few times now. They aren't even that sharp. I don't know how I manage it.

                                One day, during a not-so-bright moment I looked at my cut thumb, looked at the bottle of Thrush Buster, and decided I didn't actually need to wash out the cut with water when I had something anti-septic on hand.

                                It was one of those things that happens in seconds. Before I knew it, I was looking at my purple stained hand and wondering how I ever thought Thrush Buster would be a good idea!

                                The worst part is that prior to that day, I'd spent much time scrubbing my hands to get rid of that same purple stain after applying TB to hooves without gloves on...

                                I also hate blanketing on frigid days. I should really just blanket as soon as I go out to the barn for the afternoon rather than waiting until my hands are already numb. Playing with metal buckles when it's -30 doesn't exactly warm my hands up any faster. I usually end up with totally useless fingers that won't move and finally have to defrost underneath a horse's mane.

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                                • #36
                                  You go to toss hay over the stall or into the hay rack and you don't toss it high enough and it lands on top of you and you spend the rest of the day picking hay out of your bra.

                                  Or worse you find the hay has somehow managed to infiltrate your pants
                                  *The Quietman ~ Irish Approved Gr.1 Stallion
                                  www.windyislesfarms.com
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                                  • #37
                                    Stepping over the electric fence and discovering it's still switched on and getting a shock in the wedding tackle!

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                                    • #38
                                      MistyBlue: I think you may have invented the first Winter Olympic Equine sport:
                                      Poop Luge

                                      Thomas1: Wow - you may have just invented the Low Budget Vasectomy

                                      Seriously - is anyone else on here reading and thinking:
                                      How in the world do these klutzes manage to stay on top of moving horses????

                                      And I can count myself among the klutziest.
                                      My Personal Best was deciding to take the Senior horse for a spin bareback in the pasture one snowy morning. Sans bridle or halter...
                                      Dressed in my barn clothes - fleece sweatpants & top, dork hat with earflaps.
                                      He was an angel trotting 3/4 of the way along the fenceline...
                                      Then we turned for home and he took off bucking.

                                      Good News: fleece works like velcro on a shaggy horse
                                      Bad News: neighbors heard words they probably didn't think I knew

                                      Bucking ceased about 3 strides from the gate and he trotted sedately into the paddock.
                                      To this day, I swear I heard him snickering.
                                      *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                                      Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                                      Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                                      Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

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                                      • #39


                                        Reminds me of the last time I fell (well more slipped) off!!! VERY similar circumstances. I decided to get on the back of one purely because I didn't want to walk up the hill and then wade my way back through a load of mud at the gate. We were trotting along nicely and I asked for a canter up the hill along the fence line and after 3 canter strides forward a deer came literally through the hawthorne hedge and pinged the wire inside it and my trusty steed went from canter forward to canter backward in one stride!

                                        I needless to say was still going forward! I sort of shot up his neck hung on for a brief moment with my knees round his ears and slid over his head down his nose and laid out on the floor lying on my back in front of him.

                                        The look on his face was sort of "oh sh**, trouble now!"

                                        That was actually a memorably funny day because later on I took delivery of a horse in for training and the first time I went to release it's head collar when it was turned out, it tried to whip away to charge off and because it was so muddy it pulled me up and out of my wellington boots!! I got deposited standing about 3 feet away from my boots and up to my shins in mud!

                                        I actually have a load of them which my family finds hilarious.... they often result in me being hurt or greatly inconvenienced and the more serious they are then generally the more my family finds it hilarious.

                                        Has anyone (else?!) ever started a tractor up inside the barn when the muck spreader is attached on the back and switch on to despatch it's load????

                                        Or been training a difficult to load horse that's jumped off the ramp and then pissed off at speed with you 'water-skiing' behind with sparks flying off the heels of your boots as you try to get purchase?

                                        Tried to thaw out a frozen padlock by breathing on it and getting your lips stuck to the cold metal?

                                        Jumped off the haystack and landed on the metal wind handle of a trailer..... ouch! That impaled my thigh and resulted in a trip to hospital but it never stopped Sue from finding it funny!!!

                                        Put your hand down at the back of the tack room shelf to retrieve something that fell off and got your fingers caught in the rat trap?

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                                        • #40
                                          Isn't it funny how "loved" ones find our klutziness amusing Thomas you owe me a keyboard
                                          Many, many years ago when I was showing other peoples horses for them, I went to a "tryout" at a prestigious show barn. They brought prospective horse out all tacked up. I spent a few minutes with coach learning about possible quirks she(teh mare) may have, turned, put foot in stirrup to mount from the ground....the whole freakin saddle spins under horses belly, horse freaks, pulls me hopping on one foot, everyone try to help stop horse but makes it worse, I end up face first in the one and only mud puddle in the ring, horse takes off bucking and kicking! Saddle(theirs) ends up destroyed, I look like the creature form the black lagoon Moral-NEVER trust that saddle is tight! Spent a 3 hour drive caked in black muck
                                          Also I now have to repeat the mantra...when I fall off LET GO OF THE REINS!
                                          I think when I was younger we were taught to hang on if you fall so that your horse can't take off. Just last week I did the belly surfing thing across the arena then remembered to let go Got arena dirt in places you really shouldn't
                                          *PPP Member*
                                          "Official" Couch Critic

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