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How about some self moderation?

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  • Who would have thought there would be so much debate on being decent to each other and thinking before you speak (type)?

    Very well thought out and said ETBW, canterlope, Fred, et al. And thanks moderators!

    If everybody could only be as nice as I am.....

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    • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by katarine:
      I thoroughly enjoy this board, though I'm very new and largely a fish out of water here (a western riding nobody in Alabama, for cripe's sake).


      What's your point?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

      Oh, Katarine, I always look forward to reading your posts! (like I'm a bb darling, anyway, especially with what I'm about to say)

      Haven't commented on any of this yet, but the same people here re-hash the same issues over and over again, constantly. for cryin' out loud, let it go, life ain't fair, there's no more reasoning, it's over, done, get on with it! "If you're still talking about what happened yesterday, you haven't done much today." There's a future, so let it go.

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      • I back up Moesha' post 100%!!!!!

        Formerly greengrl

        "We like to walk..."
        \"Horse sense is what a horse has that keeps him from betting on people\"
        W.C. Fields
        1880 - 1948

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        • Thanks, Calico, that brightened my morning!

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          • Blessed are the peacemakers . . .


            Pax et Bonum - Inverness
            ___________________________
            Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

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            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by elizabeth:
              Sometimes I don't have enough drama - like, Rikki Lake kind of drama - in my life.

              Normally I get such drama by dating cigarette-smokin', gun-totin', bad-word-usin', no-underwear-wearin', former-cocaine-dealin', bigotted, smurf-sized rednecks.
              <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

              still laughing... "smurf-sized rednecks"?
              A Fine Romance. April 1991 - June 2016. Loved forever.

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              • I must have missed all the referenced threads...so have had to glean what I could from this one...

                I would just like to say that the thoughtful, reasonable posts by folks like ETWB and Canterlope (and there are many others, I don't mean to leave anyone out) are appreciated, for both the content and the tone.

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                • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HossShoer:
                  Fred, well posted.
                  I agree with ya 100%.
                  Nice morning to be at the BB instead of the barn.
                  Regards J.
                  BTW, Elizabeth want a date for some more drama in your life???? Or have we already been out???<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                  now I am really laughing - thanks for making me spit tea on my keyboard, HossShoer....
                  ah, a man with horses, a farrier, and a sense of humour!
                  thanks to both of you for my laugh of the day!
                  A Fine Romance. April 1991 - June 2016. Loved forever.

                  Comment


                  • I agree that we are all responsible for our actions. I have always stood behind the saying "We cannot control how we feel, but we can control how we act." The drawback to having such instant and easily available technology like the internet and subsequently the BB, is that we can post without thinking. I know I have posted things and then thought about them and realized that I not only did not mean what I posted but it was such a false vocalization of who I am that Sherlock Holmes could not have found used the statements to trace me! I have seen countless posts by people I know that are everything from blown out of proportion to down right lies. I have come across posts by people I know in "real life" and am like who are you kidding? But this is the internet and whether people choose to disclose who they are or not, there will always be a certain bit or annonymity here that has to be respected. If people want to create images for themselves here that is fine, my point is that in the same FACTUAL way I know people make up things and build themselves up here with no base in the reality of their situations, people are also misinterpreted and their actions are categorized by others as those others see them and feel. Remember, the majority rule is close to the mob rule which we never want. Just as passionate as any one of us are about something, no matter how admirable and wonderful we see something or someone, we are still looking at the situation and person through our perspectives. Just remember that, others have the same passion and feeling about something, that they see AS THEY DO. Just as you might SEE ONLY your viewpoint and vehnemently defend it..they are defending THEIR view.
                    As far as the Baby Aiden threads, I was happy to participate in the auction. Again I cannot imagine what his parents are going through, and every day that good news comes in I am so happy that he is one step closer to that first leadline class win. I do not think anyone especially the people accused of being against the threads, are so at all.
                    We are very lucky to have the BB. It is a wonderful service. When I think of the wonderful friendships, and amazing people I have met and even Re-met! Because of this BB, I find it a true treasure.
                    The moderators make their decisions, and I may not agree with them, but I am not going to attack them or their character. Because they have as much feelings and compassion and hunamity as any one else here. They are people after all not mechanical robots sitting in some sterile room somewhere. They have the same feelings and concerns and biases and emmotions that we all do. And just as I argue the fair treatment of everyone here, I also say they must be given every ounce of that respect as well.
                    Life is too short to be deliberately mean to people and to be cruel and hateful. Rolling your eyes at a friends choice of clothes is one thing, but hurting someone for the sake of it because you know it will..is really inexcusable.
                    Remember we are all different, and we can only thrive in this world if we have respect for each other. Disagree and don't like what someone stands for or has to say...but don't dislike them or count them out. Sometimes one's closest friends and strongest allies come out of a fierce competition. It is our differences and opinions that truly bring us together. Because they open dialogue...and that is how we learn to be human.
                    "All life is precious"
                    Sophie Scholl

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                    • I agree Moesha, a lot of wisdom in your post. I know I am quite guilty of posting things before thinking. Sometimes there is fire in my veins. Which is why Wings' original post is such good advice.

                      I adore Miniewelsh and Rockstarr and am very sad they are gone. But I also really like Erin and respect her. I think she & the others do as good a job in moderating as anyone can.

                      This BB has been really special to me. I've laughed and cried and I've leaned on people. I feel very lucky to have found it.
                      The truth is rarely pure, and never simple. Oscar Wilde

                      Comment


                      • I agree I think the world of Miniwelsh and Rockstarr. To me they did nothing more their voice their opinions, no one has the right to judge why or what motives they had or didn't. They stated clearly what they found offensive and inappropriate of unfair and inconsistent actions.

                        I think the great German Poet Goethe's words are so appropriate in this situation.


                        "Whenever I hear people talking about "liberal ideas," I am always astounded that men should love to fool themselves with empty sounds. An idea should never be liberal; it must be vigorous, positive, and without loose ends so that it may fulfill its divine mission and be productive. The proper place for liberality is in the realm of the emotions."
                        "All life is precious"
                        Sophie Scholl

                        Comment


                        • Moesha, I so agree. Along with the annonymity afforded by the internet, there is always the ever present danger of misinterpretation by others who perceive something different than what you mean. Without the benefit of facial expressions, voice tone, and speech rhythm, we are left up to our own devices to apply what we think is appropriate.

                          Sometimes this is even hard in face-to-face conversations. If I mention the word "dog" to someone without offering additional context, that person's interpretation of a dog will probably be vastly different than my own. I might be thinking Chihuahua while the other person imagines German Shepherd.

                          Graham Norton put it best the other night when he was talking about almost this exact topic. As an example, he said the same sentence twice, but altered the punctuation of the sentence and the tone and rhythm of his voice. The first time, in a very sweet and innocent voice, he said, "Oh, what an adorable crack baby." The second time through, in a husky and suggestive voice, he said, "Ohhhh, what an adorable crack, baby."

                          Same exact words, but two totally different means that were aided by facial expression, voice tone, and voice rhythm. Given how necessary these key components are in ensuring the correct interpretation of an oral communication, is it any wonder why we are so often misinterpreted in our written communications?

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                          A dog has one master, a cat has an entire staff.
                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                          If the Number 2 pencil is so popular, why is it still number 2?

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                          • Quick question... were Miniwelsh and rockstar banned as well??

                            - Lindsay -

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                            • Shine until tomorrow. Let it be.

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                              • Stupid me...I've been ignoring this thread for days, thinking it might be about dieting...

                                Missed the brou-ho ha before T'Gving and all other instances referenced.

                                ETBW's origninal point is well made and a good one.

                                Get a life, move on....

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                                • I have not posted on or even read the BB for months, until yesterday. But as a victim of the immoderate moderating going on on these boards (which was the reason I ceased to frequent the boards) I feel compelled to respond.

                                  The way that Erin handled the dismissal of Miniwelsh and Rockstarr was reprehensible. I agree that it was totally uncalled for to point out that even though they had stated they would be leaving the BB they continued to stay logged on. That was a petty and immature thing to bring to light; so what if maybe they did not feel comfortable posting in the face of some of teh inconsistent rule-enforcement? So what if they still wanted to keep apprised of other BB'ers lives?

                                  This may sound hard for you die-hard moderator fans to believe, but I have received a number of personally hurtful and spiteful e-mails from Erin herself, which I would be happy to post if I hadn't deleted them immediately. I am so tired of everyone hailing the moderators as if they were saints--if they do such an incredible job, why do websites such as Towerheads adn others not have such drama and hurtfulness going on? I would venture to say it's because their moderators do a better job of just that: MODERATING. Not displaying partiality, not taking sides, not stirring the pot, as our moderators are so prone to do. But enforcing the rules in a thoughtful and equal manner.

                                  The bottom line is, Erin took offense to some of the opinions I had voiced on this BB. That is fine--everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I concede that some of mine may not always have been well-reasoned or benevolent at all times (esp when I had had a bad day at work ) But as a moderator, she has a responsibility to attempt to uphold the impartiality that should be inherent in her job. By sending me e-mails accusing me of "having no class," I am fairly certain she was not carrying out her duties as an enforcer of the rules that exist to make this forum that inclusive, warm place that it used to be.

                                  Comment


                                  • Thankfully, I seem to have missed the latest drama...after the pre-t-day mess, I've had quite my fill. I agree with many of the sentiments shared here but most of all with "disagreeing vs. disagreeable." It's really not all that hard to choose the former and save the nastiness.

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                                    • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fred:
                                      "disagreeing and disagreeable"? I think that is the crux of the issue.
                                      <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                      Yup, it was a trainwreck...and I agree they should have been banned. Their comments were out of line. Period. This board is not intended to support meanspiritedness.

                                      My horse bucked off your honor student!

                                      Founder: LOFL (lawn ornaments for life) clique

                                      Comment


                                      • At some point yesterday I voiced my opinion on the banning of rockstarr and miniwelsh as being unfair. I posted one follow-up point and then felt comfortable to read both the pro and con arguments. That is until the latest...

                                        Why are comments deemed 'out of line' and 'mean spirited' when they raise the issue that a sexually explicit thread was able to continue for 25 pages (exactly how many days does it take to get to 25 pages)?

                                        Yes, they raised the ugly head of colin and pre-Thanksgiving, but they also brought to our attention a thread that should not have been allowed to reach 2 pages let alone 25.

                                        On this thread, their behavior can be rehashed in a negative manner, but when miniwelsh and rockstarr reminded everyone of previous actions they didn't agree with it was considered 'stirring the pot'.

                                        Comment


                                        • tobi - I was referring to the pre-Thanksgiving posts as meanspirited...
                                          Frankly, I have not been interested in the other thread so I never opened it.

                                          My horse bucked off your honor student!

                                          Founder: LOFL (lawn ornaments for life) clique

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