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How about some self moderation?

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  • #41
    Hear Hear!
    (and the chicken salad just starts a great list of scrumptious yummies put out by our favorite BB member)

    Kinsella and Texan - I do the exact same thing! Though sometimes the clicker-finger is faster than the brain.....

    "A horse which stops dead just before a jump thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides for general merriment" - Duke of Edinburgh

    Comment


    • #42
      Thanks to Wingsie for starting this very important thread. I agree that things did get out of hand on "the thread" and I apologize profusely for my part in that endeavor.

      I would also like to apologize in advance for what I am about to post in the event that it is offensive to any member of this board.

      While I agree that it is a shame that we lost the knowledge that a few former members brought to this BB, I do not think it is a shame that we lost the members themselves. Each of them were probably a lot more proficient in their equestrian endeavors than I ever hope to be. But, a few important things that they lacked were compassion, tolerance, and the ability to stop short of crossing the line between open honesty and down right hurtfulness. The question that this raises in my mind is what good is being a great horseman if you can't or won't act in a compassionate manner towards others who share your interest?

      One of the things that I liked the best about this BB when I first joined was the fact that the majority of the members appeared to be caring, tolerant human beings who accepted that fact that all of us have different ideas and methods as to how we go about our horse filled lives. It was comforting to know that I could post a topic and not be ridiculed if it was a bit odd or wacky. I also liked the fact that most members were willing to play within the rules of the board. It was very rare that a moderator had to step in and chastise anyone for their behavior.

      I don't know what happened recently to alter this. Maybe it's the overall mood of the country with the events of September 11th and the threat of war that has us all on edge. Maybe it's the faltering stock market and the dismal economy. Or maybe it's just due to the weather and the alignment of the planets. Regardless of the cause, I just don't believe that anything is reason enough to abuse our moderators, question the rules and policies of this board, or post hurtful and spiteful messages such as the ones that were witnessed at the end of November and yesterday.

      Each and every one of us has the ability to turn away or count to ten when something annoys or bothers us. Each of us also has the ability to simply ignore a topic that we find bothersome. I have yet to have anyone come to my house, put a gun to my head, and force me to open a thread on this board that I would rather not read.

      As a result, I will never understand why the members that we recently lost could not heed the advice of so many on this board to not click on a thread that they found offensive or why they decided to voice their dissatisfaction to others in such a disruptive manner and then continue to stir the pot. What I do know is, while it is a shame that they had to be banned, I applaud our moderators for taking the necessary steps to ensure that this BB continues to be a "home" where all of us can come and share our experiences without the threat of ridicule or animosity. I think it is a pretty special place and I hope that, as it continues to grow and evolve, it will always remain my most loved and cherished cyberfamily.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      A dog has one master, a cat has an entire staff.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      If the Number 2 pencil is so popular, why is it still number 2?

      Comment


      • #43
        I love this BB, I have learned more and been exposed to more information (and great horse people!) here than anywhere else in my horse life. I also apologize from the bottom of my heart if anything I posted was offensive to anyone. I think sometimes we get carried away in the spirit of fun, and forget exactly who the audience may be.

        Thank you, everyone, for allowing me to tap into your collective knowledge. This BB is an amazing place. I guess sometimes we just forget how good we have it.

        (((((hugs)))))


        >^.,.^<
        ~~Linda

        "My treasures do not clink or glitter; they gleam in the sun and neigh in the night"
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        You can't have everything. Where would you put it all?

        Comment


        • #44
          Can I get a loud AMEN to everything Wings said:

          AMMMMMENNNNNNNNN!


          Oh and Canterlope in reply to your post, all I have to say--is you sure aren't "just an ordinary fruit," you are a very insighful one. Preach on sister!

          6 months and about 3 weeks till I'm 21!!!!!!
          \"My insurance doesn\'t cover PMS.\" --10 things I hate about you

          Comment


          • #45
            Wings I thought your post was excellent!

            What i find troubling is that 2 people got banned from this BB yesterday for strongly pointing out that a thread was inappropriate reading material for juniors. the thread was so bad that it was deleted, i'm not sure i've ever seen one deleted before. it also was so bad that several people in this thread have apologized for 'getting out of hand'.

            it just seems somewhat unfair to me.

            Comment


            • #46
              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> What i find troubling is that 2 people got banned from this BB yesterday for strongly pointing out that a thread was inappropriate reading material for juniors. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

              I just skimmed both threads, but I think the problem was that the posters in question were doing it to stir the pot, not to protect the juniors' (DOESN'T INCLUDE ME! ) virgin eyes. I believe that conclusion can be drawn since these two no longer posted here at all after leaving in a huff last month.

              But that's just my opinion. By the way, this sounds horrible... but I'm DYING to read what was on the deleted thread. If only I'd bothered with the last few pages! Anyone care to email me?

              ~Erin B #1
              Website/Journal (Updated 1/13)
              The streets were wet and the gate was locked, so I jumped it and let you in, and you stood at your door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it. -Dashboard Confessional
              Erin B #1
              erinbardwell.com

              Comment


              • #47
                Thank you for your post Tobi!

                canterlope, while I understand what you are saying, I think the point that was made yesterday is still being missed: the fact that a completely inappropriate thread, one that far exceeded the boundaries set for the COTH boards, was available for all to read, including many, MANY juniors. This wasn't just an off-topic thread (in which case it would be fine, since it was allowed as a won auction item), it was a thread that broke other rules of the board, and perhaps even laws in a few states.

                Who, exactly, was hurt by the requests of yesterday to curtail a thread that clearly went beyond the bounds of COTH rules? The people who posted were attempting to bring the board back within the bounds of these rules. Your post implies that these people wished to operate outside of the rules when, in fact, that is the complete opposite of what they were doing!

                Certainly we can all make a choice not to read a thread and to ignore that which we find bothersome. The problem here is that there are children on these boards and they can choose to read whatever is out there for them to see. The material on that thread amounted to adults engaging in sexual dialogue with children; I cannot ignore that. To whom are we being compassionate and tolerant when we allow this to go on?

                Comment


                • #48
                  Out of control threads must be stopped, period.

                  I'm surprised at some of the language we (the royal we) indulge in, knowing full well that young eyes are reading our words, regardless of topic. We're trending toward the Osborne's, which is funny and sad and social and fine all at once- but not what I want at MY dinner table.

                  I thoroughly enjoy this board, though I'm very new and largely a fish out of water here (a western riding nobody in Alabama, for cripe's sake).

                  If one chooses to push the limits, test the envelope, and get banned for that utter lack o' sense, then them's the breaks. It's not like they weren't warned.

                  What's your point?

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
                    If one chooses to push the limits, test the envelope, and get banned for that utter lack o' sense, then them's the breaks. It's not like they weren't warned.
                    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                    Did Miniwelsh and rockstarr push the limits, test the envelope, or have utter lack of sense in their objections yesterday? Frankly, I think they were part of the small handful who had any sense at all! I cannot fathom why the people who brought the thread that pushed the limits, tested the envelope, that DID break the rules to the attention of the moderators were the ones to be banned! That is where the utter lack of sense is.

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      to add to the religious theme... thank God at least someone saw my point!!

                      yes, the 'banned two' referenced the incidents from Nov., so that gets them banned?

                      on the other hand having a 25 page porn thread gets a wink wink, oh i wish i could read it?

                      i love this BB. i have made great friends, learned alot, and have a new chiro for my horse, all thanks to posts here on the BB. (i could go on and on)

                      BUT, just like the 2 who were banned, i too had stopped posting here ever since the nastiness in Nov. while i was never warned, i just felt that one side was given much more flexibility in their freedom of speech than the other. i in no way agreed with the tone of Colin's original email. but, there were some underlying points that i did agree with in the subsequent discussions.

                      i don't know where i'm going with my post other than to restate that i feel that what happened yesterday is unfair.

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        I applaud our moderators for taking the necessary steps to ensure that this BB continues to be a "home" where all of us can come and share our experiences without the threat of ridicule or animosity.
                        ____________________________________________

                        Oh gosh, can I add to this please? Let's see, how about "without the threat of ridicule or animosity, unless of course, they happen to disagree with the moderators?"

                        there - perfect, I think.

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          Sister - actually, they did push the limits. They made is clear that the only reason they brought up the topic was in protest of Colin getting booted. I'm still smarting over Colin's senseless comments, so I'm not too fond of folks who are out there stirring the pot on her behalf.

                          I DO think that the thread topic brought up was innappropriate. Erin made it clear that she took care of the issue as soon as she made it back to her computer and saw the emails. The folks who went too far I'm sure all feel badly and this situation likely won't happen again for a long while. That works for me.

                          "A horse which stops dead just before a jump thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides for general merriment" - Duke of Edinburgh

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            OK first of all, no one on this BB no matter how much I like them or think highly of them can ever attack Rockstarr and Miniwelsh...because you do not know them. If you did you would know that regardless of how you interpreted their threads or posts that they are two of the most giving and compassionate people I have ever met. They are socially conscious wonderful human beings and we are lucky as not only a horse community but as a society as a whole to have such unique and special individuals in our world. You may not agree with them and that is fine, but as someone who knows them and what they stand for and are about the descriptions here are simply false. Rockstarr is a clever and intelligent person, who sees the world in such brilliance and vibrance, she is far from any false description of her here. Miniwelsh who I am very close to and consider one of my dearest friends in the World, is a forensic investigator in addition to her regulatr full time job and her dogs and horses, one dog, she rescued and literally saved off the side of the road after she had been abandoned by cruel and indifferent people. This poor puppy literally had worms infesting her tiny brain and Miniwelsh did everything, had every vet procedure done at any cost and now has a loving companion in her home. Her Forensic work stems from her compassion and love of people. I asked her after she was licesned why she would go through the gruelling training, I personally do not think I could have put myself through the certification...and her simple yet timeless response was "If it were me, and one of my loved ones were a victim like the cases we deal with I would want someone who cares and who is truly commited to doing the best job to find the answers to why this person has died or in most cases she deals with, was murdered and subsequently how to bring justice and some closure.

                            We are talking about two remarkable individuals, whom you may not agree with..but please do not attack their character.

                            [This message was edited by Moesha on Jan. 16, 2003 at 05:39 PM.]
                            "All life is precious"
                            Sophie Scholl

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              Well, I tend to disagree that that's the only reason, but since the threads in question have been deleted, we can't really refer back to them...

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                As one of the participants in 'that' thread

                                Firstly, I do apologize if anyone was offended. I'd like to add, though, that as much as many would like to dismiss that thread as pornographic and smutty, it was hardly, in my mind at least, that. Yes, it was occasionally gross, yes, perhaps it did teeter on the verge of risque content - but as much as Moesha would remind us that we shouldn't sit in judgement of either Miniwelsh and rockstarr, I'd add the same about the posters on that thread.

                                I do, however, think it rather ironic that Miniwelsh and rockstarr suddenly developed such an urgent concern about the mental welfare of the juniors on this BB. It wasn't too long ago that rockstarr, as example, delighted in the company name, "Beaver Drilling". Did that qualify her as a bad person polluting the minds of juniors? Hardly. Was the 'smutty' thread in question instructional and intended to lead impressionable young minds astray? No.

                                The thread in question, I think, was dictated by a sense of fun and frivolity. Most of the posters on this BB are adult women and it's not unusual, in my experience, that when gathered together in the spirit of fun and trust, talk invariably goes down that proverbial garden path. I'd also remind that there have been many, many posts on this BB full of innuendo and risque content - this thread was unusual in that it was concentrated into a singular 25-page thread.

                                Lastly, as a parent, I'd much rather talk to my daughter about sex than have to explain to her the subtle nuances of hypocrisy.

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster

                                  #56
                                  Miniwelsh and Rockstarr got caught up in a situation where they felt that they HAD to stand by their own code of right/wrong. I admire them for that - back in November.

                                  Using Colin as a flag and reference was not something that could possibly do anything BUT poke sticks in the eyes of the moderators, who have had to diplomatically deal with her, good, bad and awful for the past several years.

                                  We are missing more than the banned. Several of our wonderful members are on a self imposed, quiet and staunch boycott over the principles, not the bad behavior. They have not made a stink/statement or drawn attention to their absence. I bet they aren't lurking daily, either. They are just getting on with life.



                                  Some love to stir the pot. Others get drawn in due to the principle of the issue and feel that they can't let it go past without a major statement. I, myself, on that fateful day before Thanksgiving, posted early on Colin's topic that she had a right to her opinion.

                                  I didn't agree or sanction how the message was stated and was appalled that such a blatant slap was delivered to the BB. I did agree with the basic reasoning behind it.

                                  Unfortunately, when someone is known to misbehave, they are watched closer, held to a tighter line, brought to a stop more quickly. This is due to a history of pot stirring. Others are not made to toe the same line and there will always be a "Why me and not them" cry when others are not made to follow the same, tight code of conduct.

                                  There are too many members, too many topics for the moderators to be 100% aware of the tone of each post. They watch out for troublesome situations but can't pretend to be everywhere, all the time. They expect us all to keep within the rules we agreed to.

                                  (Not only have I had topics locked, I had a topic DELETED!)

                                  Friendship is Love without his wings
                                  -Lord Byron
                                  "If you would have only one day to live, you should spend at least half of it in the saddle."

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Was the 'smutty' thread in question instructional and intended to lead impressionable young minds astray? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                    I heard many people saying that they had learned a lot, many posters wanting more to learn the tricks of the trade.

                                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
                                    Lastly, as a parent, I'd much rather talk to my daughter about sex than have to explain to her the subtle nuances of hypocrisy.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                    She would need to know about both should she become a member of this community.

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      Very grand words Heidi. You certainly appear to have an amazing ability to justify the topics you enjoy posting on.

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        No, Dementia, I hardly feel the need to justify myself - but perhaps think it necessary to explain the spirit of that thread and the underlying irony of some of the protests.

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Anyone wanna take bets on how many pages this one gets too before its locked?

                                          I say 5. I hear hissing and meowing already.

                                          How about everyone zip it if they are all fired up? How about no button pushing?

                                          The original issue was valid. Colin was right, in a sense. We veered off the path of strictly horse business. We actually let ourselves care about each other just a little bit. We thought just maybe, all together, we could make a difference in a little child's life. A little child who belonged to a member.


                                          This is my virtual family. We've got the black sheep, the old spinsters, the wild cousins you hope you don't have to sit next to at thanksgiving, the sibling who does nothing wrong is daddy's eyes.

                                          It doesn't surprise me at all people have become so comfortable here that they sort of spew before they think. For crickey sake, I've "known" some of you for YEARS.

                                          Enough rambling. Clive's Mom made me do it.

                                          ~~~~Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?~~~~
                                          **Before you can be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.**

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