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Trainer Quotes

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  • #21
    "Jump the middle of the jump....jump the middle of the jump...THATS NOT THE MIDDLE OF THE JUMP!!!"

    "The Assyrian program of exterminating various ethnic groups generally failed to promote cultural diversity."-- Non Campus Mentis
    Hanlon's Razor

    Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.


    • #22
      "Don't count the strides, ride it as two seperate jumps.... wait a minute, did you just leave out a stride? Why did you leave out a stride???"


      • #23
        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Palisades:
        "Don't count the strides, ride it as two seperate jumps.... wait a minute, did you just leave out a stride? Why did you leave out a stride???"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

        Haha my trainer does that... "just ride the pace, don't worry about the distance..." and 10 seconds later, "what kind of distance was THAT?"
        Hmph - hypocrites!



        • #24
          It's not a quote exactly but my old trainer (also a judge) had a great note on his judges card: TOT
          It stands for "take up tennis."

          He also says "If you're not going to listen to me, I'm not going to teach you, ride in and dismount"

          BEQS clique
          Resident racing historian
          The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
          F O.B
          Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
          Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique


          • #25
            "Ladies... we have fat thighs, and sometimes you just have to reach down there and adjust them." [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

            "If all goes well, you've overlooked something."

            "Humpty Dumpty was pushed."


            • #26
              "Why am I the only one clucking?"

              "When something bad happens, you gotta sit up."
              Approved helmet: Every time; every ride.
              "When a sport gets to be predictable it ceases to be fun." - RAR's wise brother


              • #27
                Trainer: "Ohhhh...[insert horse here] is having rearing fits? Have Kate get on him."

                Employee: "You don't want to get on him?"

                TRainer: "Hell no, I'm not getting killed today."


                I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest
                -- John Keats
                I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest
                -- John Keats


                • #28
                  When we kept breaking from canter to trot on that bloody circle: "Ok, so you pressed the 'Whoa G'Dammit' button when you wanted the 'Whoa' button....Don't press the 'Whoa G'dammit!!

                  When my chicken horse started galloping courses instead of stopping: "His name's Dragoon, isn't it?? Then DRAG-ON, Baby!! ."

                  When I innocently ask for a break on anything, she innocently replies: "No..." [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                  "Ok, let's try that again and jump the jump this time..."

                  "Try that again......Try that again....Try that again.....OK, DO that again."

                  There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot...
                  \"Horses change lives. They give our young people confidence and self esteem, they provide peace and tranquility to troubled souls, they give us hope.\"
                  - T. Robinson


                  • #29
                    oh...i've got tons! (but i can't think of them all right now!) my trainer Nicky is British so it makes it all the better!

                    (about getting a new car) "I'm NOT getting a lime green bug!"

                    (to Palais, who's itching her leg during a lesson) "You've got 23 hours in a day to do that! Stop!"

                    (to my friend who was being lunged and was told to exagerrate her posting) "It looks like you're f***ing the saddle!" (sorry about that!)

                    (about Palais' ears) "She has donkey ears"

                    that's all i can think of now...i'm still cuckling about that lime green bug quote from last week's lesson.... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

                    A proud co-owner of CorLin PRO-ductions. Watch out horseworld, here we come!

                    Check out my blog at http://lindsayberreth.com


                    • #30
                      "This is called under saddle lunging, when you can no longer feel your arm, change directions."

                      "I want to see your mad face. That was a good mad face, until you fell off, then it was more of an ouch face."

                      "When I said go on the inside of the green jump, I didn't mean shave it off to nothing. Don't do that."

                      "Use your legs!! Wait, I forgot, you don't really have any, use what you have of your legs!!! wait, you are... Pretend you have more leg and use it!!!!"

                      "You say you used to play volleyball? Perhaps..."

                      In a schooling area: "Don't hit him on the shoulder, he'll go backwards, hit him on the butt, he'll go forwards, what would you do if I hit you on the butt?" another trainer at another jump answers before I can " I would go home..."

                      Seen on a Centre College Democrats T-Shirt
                      "Because no one ever said they wanted a good piece of elephant."
                      \"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.\"

                      \"Betwixt the stirrup and the ground, mercy I asked and mercy I found.\"


                      • #31
                        "Ok, so what did we learn from this pleasant experience??"

                        And the classic:

                        "And, what happened there??"

                        There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot...
                        \"Horses change lives. They give our young people confidence and self esteem, they provide peace and tranquility to troubled souls, they give us hope.\"
                        - T. Robinson


                        • #32
                          I just can't think of them right now [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

                          "What was that?!! get agressive! (we end up charging the fence) okay not quite THAT aggressive."

                          "Feeling cheeky today are we??"

                          after my horse launched himself over a 2ft fence 2 strides early and cleared it by way more than it needed to be cleared by... oh wait I didn't get a response, my coach was in the dirt peeing her pants because she was laughing so hard. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img]

                          Me "you're going to get dirty lugging those poles around, you don't like getting dirty"
                          Coach "me naw! Dick doesn't stick to me... I mean uh dirt. DIRT doesn't stick to me"

                          "well that was ugly wasn't it?!"


                          • #33
                            I forgot this one!

                            After I had a really bad crash with horse catchin a toe, flipping over, rolling on me, I got stepped on...the whole 9 yds (aka not bouncing right back up and pretending nothing hurt). My trainer casually strolls over, looks down at me and says:

                            "Are ya dead?"


                            I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest
                            -- John Keats
                            I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest
                            -- John Keats


                            • #34
                              (when a girl was posting high) "if you post like that with out stirrups you are going to have to go to the ER to have your saddle removed!"

                              "I don't patronize bunny rabbits!" -Heathers
                              *Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.*


                              • #35
                                "That was painful to watch."

                                "Beat the sh*t out of her if she stops."

                                "How old are you? I replied 13. Thank god you aren't going to be driving anytime soon. You van't steer worth crap!"

                                "You could be an pilot. You could circle the runway a lot." <----that was said after I was told to make a tiny circle, and did a half ring. I kept doing it too. Whoops.

                                Go Get 'Em Tiger!!!
                                see ya


                                • #36
                                  My trainer Donna's most famous
                                  " Just do it regular like. Ok?"


                                  • #37
                                    was constantly perplexed that my littl ehorse WHiskey was constantly saving my ass when I got ahead of him. He's little (think 15.1 TOPS) and we were going Training. If I got the SLIGHTEST bit ahead he couldn't always make it...So he'd stop. I of course would fly in front of the saddle, but before I could come off, my loyal steed [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] would snap his head back up (He was looking at the fence...I mean he HAD to see what I thought was so interesting about the base of it) and pop me back in the saddle.

                                    Finally Chrissy had enough...she walked over grabbed my leg and Yanked me off my horse yelling
                                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>"You'll NEVER learn cause that damned horse wont LET you fall of, so I'm taking matters into my own hands!"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                    -- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

                                    [This message was edited by lisamarie8 on Mar. 20, 2002 at 10:34 PM.]
                                    Life Goes On


                                    • #38
                                      Said by my trainer when I appeared at the show, ready to ride in my LOVELY NEW TS RUST BREECHES:

                                      "I don't know you."

                                      "Go away, kid, you bother me." - W.C. Fields


                                      • #39
                                        "Let's be friends, but the kind that don't talk often, or ever."

                                        Seen on a Centre College Democrats T-Shirt
                                        "Because no one ever said they wanted a good piece of elephant."
                                        \"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.\"

                                        \"Betwixt the stirrup and the ground, mercy I asked and mercy I found.\"


                                        • #40
                                          From super-model height trainer to not-at-all-tall me: "Stretch your leg down. More. More. That's it? Really? That's as far as your leg goes?! Wow, that's barely clearing the flap of that saddle - it's cute, in a sad, sad way. Maybe we should get you a smaller saddle..."

                                          And, when I borrowed her saddle and couldn't jack the stirrups up any more so I was riding 4 holes long: "Whoa! What happened?! You sprouted legs!! No, you can't pull your stirrups up - you actually look like you have legs!"

                                          And, when we were trying to feed my 3yo birthday cake: "He's blowing snot on it so you'll stop eating it - he's a smart horse. He knows chocolate cake means fat mom means more to carry around. He's thinking of your own good, really.."

                                          During a lesson where she had to tell me the most simple things over and over: "There are only FIVE phrases any yahoo has to know before calling themselves a riding instructor. I can get a tape of those five things for you, if you'd like to take lessons from that instead.. No?"

                                          Delighted Studios - I'm not too proud to beg.
                                          Delighted Studios - I\'m not too proud to beg.