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Tips for Dealing With Rowdy Kids @ Barn?

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  • #41
    Originally posted by TheJenners View Post
    Just reading this makes me want to go find a child to yell at. No offense, but I have no tolerance. It's probably from the way I was brought up: my Mom expected me to behave at ALL TIMES, and I did. If I didn't, woe onto me, and truly it was my own damn fault.

    When I was giving lessons and everything that goes along with that, I had no patience for that crap. I was talking to a parent one time, and one of the kid's younger non-riding sibling came up and started tugging on the mom's shirt and saying "mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy." NO seriously, just like that. The mom was ignoring the kid and I went nutty. I bent down, grabbed the kid's arms and said, "Your Mom and I are talking, and YOU are being VERY RUDE! You WILL wait until we are done talking, do you UNDERSTAND ME???" The kid was all google-eyed at me, and waited. The mom actually THANKED me with an eye roll. Where's the fruitbat? Why didn't the mom do what I did? ARGH!

    Yeah. I was and am a hardass about rules. Serves me well now .
    haha you make me laugh nothing like as it is there and then-- hello mummy wake up call the kids got your no- but he hasnt got mine
    haha

    Comment


    • #42
      I'm not one of those adults who just LOVES children, in spite of the fact that I have 4, and 5 grandkids. I am very good with my own, but other people's kids drive me batty.

      All of the barn children are scared of me, and can't figure out why my own 14 year old isn't. It reminds me of my grandmother - my half-sister, who didn't have much interaction with her, once told me she felt sorry for me because I HAD to spend so much time with her. I adored my grandmother - she made me feel secure, and you always knew your boundaries with her, and what to do and what not to do, and that you'd be ok as long as you "did right." She ran a farm with an iron fist, and we KNEW not to bother the darned chickens or cows, or they'd not lay eggs or give milk. But I had acres to play on, as long as I was out of earshot and not underfoot, and as long as I helped with my chores first.

      And that's why the barn kids hate me - I don't mind them playing, but I have a natural tendency to put them to work. Making too much noise? Go take that drag out to the pasture and pull it around (we have a small one that can be pulled by hand by 2 or 3 of them). Or fill all the pasture troughs (and I don't care if you squirt each other in the process).

      Comment


      • #43
        If it's your barn, there's no reason to put up with white trash. If it's not, I'd seriously question the qualifications of a BO who would let a few ruin the place for the rest of the boarders. If the BO really needs the money that bad, then you have to wonder what other compromises and short-cuts are being taken.

        These kids are going to consider the barn as their personal playground where anything goes, and once they get into booze and drugs you're liable to have some real problems -- especially after hours!
        The inherent vice of Capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
        Winston Churchill

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        • #44
          Originally posted by Bootylicious Alter View Post
          I would like to avoid these kids for the safety of me, my horse, and these children. The barn management is sympathetic, but will probably not do anything.
          I would talk with the BO/BM if they won't do anything I would leave. I would not want to keep my horse in a barn that has so little regard for safety.
          Auventera Two:Some women would eat their own offspring if they had some dipping sauce.
          Serious Leigh: it sounds like her drama llama should be an old schoolmaster by now.

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          • #45
            I saw a sign once..."Unattended Kids will be given a puppy and a cup of sugar"

            I hate brats at barns...don't mind kids, hate the free-range birth control failures.

            I caught 2 boys at the barn with a BB gun...this was after they popped off a round and my horse spooked and stepped on my foot. I was already in a good mood. I heard these cretins say, "Lets go shoot a barn cat". I grabbed their BB gun, went to the mother of the one spawn and broke the gun over a log...and then gave her a few more grey hairs with profanity-laced displeasure. Turns out, her silly female spawn was having a lesson and didn't want to leave the son and his friend at home.

            I went to the BO and let her know what had transpired...she wasn't pissed until I told her about the "shoot a cat" comment.

            Idiots who breed always remind me of Rodney Dangerfield's line from Caddyshack...."Now I know why tigers eat their young".
            "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"

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            • #46
              GREAT advice by the other posters. i have also locked children in stalls. or made them pick rocks out of the pasture if they were being obnoxious. then again, i was running a riding camp at the time, and had the authority to do that.

              in any case, i am absolutely AGHASTED at the lack of discipline and respect when it comes to children. i was having dinner at Wendy's the other night, and there was a family there with 2 small boys, probably aged around 3 and 5. the younger one was literally running ALL OVER THE RESTAURANT yelling and laughing, having a grand old time. and what did his parents do? IGNORED HIM. or mom gave a half hearted "now stop." and then picked up the child and played with him. WHAT?!?!? i'm young, i don't have kids, but i find this absolutely astonishing. when my brothers and i were younger, all it took was the "mommy death look" and we reeled in the nonsense. we would NEVER be allowed to even THINK about acting like that little boy did. i was sorely tempted to grab the little bugger by his arm and say, "You need to go back and sit with your parents and stop running around. You are bothering everyone here." AUGHHHH!!

              the type of behavior you describe is absolutely unacceptable at a barn, the potential for injury is insane! DEFNITELY have a serious chat with the BO/BM, and don't hesitate to discipline the chillun's if mommy won't.
              Proud member of the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique

              PONY'TUDE

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              • #47
                Originally posted by Trakehner View Post
                I caught 2 boys at the barn with a BB gun...this was after they popped off a round and my horse spooked and stepped on my foot. I was already in a good mood. I heard these cretins say, "Lets go shoot a barn cat".
                Yeah like this kind of stuff-- TOTALLY unacceptable.

                Kids being whiney, bratty, annoying... that is different. I personally would never reprimand someone else's kid for that kind of stuff.

                The things that get me, are, say... yelling at horses, cracking whips, running around like idiots, etc. And I am quick to say something when this type of stuff is going on, on the rare occasion it does.

                I was totally the kid whose mom dropped her off every day, all summer, at 9 am and didn't come back till dinner. Same with weekends. I remember times where my dad had forgotten to come get me! LOL. But I know for a fact I kept a low profile and the BO and adult boarders always kept me busy with "jobs."
                We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.

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                • #48
                  At the risk of sounding politically incorrect, I have zero tolerance for ill-behaved kids—anywhere in public.

                  If I were in this situation, I would talk firmly to the BO first about my concerns. If nothing changed within a week, I would then alert the BO to what I was about to do, then send a registered letter to the parents stating that if their children cause my horse or me to be injured by their actions, I planned on suing the pants off of them.

                  Might not be legally enforceable (sp?), but it would certainly put the parents on notice that you're serious about this issue.
                  "Dogs give and give and give. Cats are the gift that keeps on grifting." –Bradley Trevor Greive

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                  • #49
                    Originally posted by Linny View Post
                    If he does misbehave, run or act up, I have no issue with his being corrected by an adult.
                    And that's the main problem there...you are cool with it, but I can't tell you how many parents aren't. Heaven forbid precious poopsie ever be told NO.
                    "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      Originally posted by Trakehner View Post
                      I hate brats at barns...don't mind kids, hate the free-range birth control failures.
                      I think I might steal that!
                      Against My Better Judgement: A blog about my new FLF OTTB
                      Do not buy a Volkswagen. I did and I regret it.
                      VW sucks.

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                      • #51
                        I consider any unattended children fair game for my style of parenting. Trust me, the child who is messing around spooking the horses does not want to belong to me! I had no problem coming down hard on the shrieking teen queens who were shouting in the poor schoolies' ears and running when they were supposed to be tacking up for a lesson. I put the fear of God into them and they were well behaved after that.

                        With smaller children it depends what they are doing. If they are rowdy but clueless and you can sternly make it a teaching moment go for it. If they are demon spawn then take firm hold of little darlings hand or upper arm and drag them to mumsie. But first I would look deep into their eyes and scare them with threats of what should happen if they ever do xyz again.

                        If the BO/BM won't do anything about their behavior make it your mission to ensure that the kids' time at the barn is so miserable they will beg to be left home.

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          I'm sorry OP that you're going through this. That situation sounds like some kind of hell to me. I'm not much of a kid person to begin with, but a bunch of unruly brats running around and screeching causing a constant ruckus? I would be pretty unhappy in general in that situation. And this goes beyond just the safety issues for me, but becomes an issue of simply enjoying your barn time too. Who wants to be constantly thrust into a position of having to watch out for and discipline someone else's brats? No thanks, I'm there to ride and to enjoy "my" horse. If I wanted to deal with kids like that, I would go hang out at a playground or a Chuck E Cheese (or whatever).

                          I have no advice (well, beyond what's already been given anyway), but you have my sympathies. I hate inconsiderate people.
                          -Debbie / NH

                          My Blog: http://deborahsulli.blogspot.com/

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                          • #53
                            I have no problem telling other people's kids to stop running, shouting, wrestling, throwing rocks at the side of the indoor or kicking cars to set off the alarms in the parking lot. No problem at all.

                            You may find simply telling them NO, and dont ask 'em, TELL them. About 90% will stop, for awhile anyway.

                            If there are kids around, you know there is going to be activity/noise/possible chaos. They are kids, they do that. Even when properly monitered.

                            Have found speaking with parents worthless, especially the oh so PC raising the I'm OK you're OK, feel good everybody is a sucess trend followers. They just don't "do" discipline and are worried about their child's self esteem being destroyed by ever hearing the word no or learning they did do it wrong. Lordy, you should see some of the reactions when they start taking lessons and get corrected for the first time in their lives.

                            So for OP, sternly tell the kids to stop it-no explanation needed, just say NO. If they question why say "because I am an adult and you are a kid". Most parents are OK with that.

                            If they are not or if it continues, you have to go to the BO/BM and if it still goes on and bugs you? Maybe you should move.
                            When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                            The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              Definitely talk to management and bring up the liability issue. A barn near where I board went through bankrutpcy because of a lawsuit involving injury to a child left at the barn unattended. Was the barn liable, yes, but the parent had contributory negligence for expecting the barn to be a "babysitter" for her. But that didn't help the barn that ended up with a close to $1 million liability for the injuries to the kid.

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                Originally posted by Bootylicious Alter View Post

                                How do I address these children?
                                Reasonably and by name, if possible, the first time.
                                HEY, YOU -- DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO KNOCK IT OFF!!?!!?!? NOW KNOCK IT OFF!!!! thereafter.

                                How do I address their mothers?
                                Again, politely and by name, the first time. After that, whatever it takes to get your point across to irresponsible, clueless people.

                                What are effective things to say to the kids to make them ignore/avoid me? It seems like some people are far more casual about kids in barns and I just don't want to be involved with any of them if I can help it.
                                The idea isn't to get them to ignore you. You want them to fear you. Treat them as you would a horse that's trying to take over. Make yourself big and mean. Carry a crop. Threaten them and make them think they will die - and for longer than 3 seconds.

                                Thank you for listening and for any ideas you have.
                                If the above ideas don't work, give the little brats soda pop spiked with benedryl and lock them in a stall where they can sleep it off.

                                Just kidding. Sorta ...
                                __________________________
                                "... if you think i'm MAD, today, of all days,
                                the best day in ten years,
                                you are SORELY MISTAKEN, MY LITTLE ANCHOVY."

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  The more I think about this thread the sadder it makes me. I got my first pony when I was 8 and there were a bunch of us at the barn. My mother was usually around because she had a horse too but there were a few boarder families with multiple children who would just drop them off and then come back hours later. On the weekends we were there all day. I can't ever remember any one of us or any of the other more transient kids ever once getting in trouble for being rowdy. We would ride, take care of our ponies, hope for a chance to ride something else. We'd usually have our lunches with us and try to make ourselves useful. If not we would play in the hayloft or go fish in the pond. We would have "horseless horseshows" but certainly not when anyone was using the ring. Back then we respected adults and the rules, even if they were unwritten. It would never have occured to us to run, shout or be disruptive anywhere near the horses. We were welcomed at the barn and put to work. Or given the opportunity to learn from the BO and from the other adults at the barn.

                                  So what has happened? Why are so many parents my age so permissive and clueless? So many people are failing there children by not expecting even minimum standards of good behaviour. Certainly there can't be that many people who felt scarred by the way we were raised?

                                  Sorry, OT I know but this is just such a puzzling phenomena to me....

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    Happens on all levels and in all situations these days. All the day care and overindugent afraid to say no absent parents in split and reblended families does no good.
                                    Some are totally clueless without their child care professional-re: nanny.

                                    What is really bad is when the misbehaving hellions are the trainer or BOs kids.
                                    When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                    The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      I used to put them in the round pen and lunge them by chasing them with a whip-including one of my own kids. It wasn't so bad. I made it into a game. It got the energy level down, which makes the kiddos much easier to deal with. After they ran they would jump the lunge whip

                                      I am by nature a real hardass, but I will give most kids a warning. I give them the benefit of the doubt and explain why what they are doing is dangerous or not for around the barn. Show them the right way to do it. A lot of kids will respond favorably. That being said one of my fellow boarders (former) has a child that has evidently never been told no. The third time he ran at my horse screaming and spooking the horse I told him in no uncertain terms to find his mother and stay with her. I chewed him out. When mommy came around to complain that I heard hurt her child's feelings I chewed her out as well. Then it was over, no grudge holding, no complaining and when she left we were on good terms.

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        Originally posted by TheJenners View Post
                                        Just reading this makes me want to go find a child to yell at. No offense, but I have no tolerance.
                                        No kidding...I hate kids who don't behave. To the OP..you need to perfect "the LOOK". "The LOOK" has been known to silence screaming children in Wal-Mart in 3.2 seconds!

                                        Then after "the LOOK" has been used on the child - it is the mother's turn!

                                        It amazes me that I can silence one without saying a word - why can't the mother shut the brat up???
                                        I'm not a CPA.

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          I would video the kids and the parents and be VERY obvious about it. Tell the parents you're videoing for liability purposes -- so that when the kids get the $hitt kicked out of him by your horse or someone else's, you'll have proof for the courts. Really. That, or SSS.
                                          If you cannot set a good example, at least serve as a terrible warning....

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