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Lazy parents..Don't take you to barn?

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  • #81
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by elizabeth:
    I actually think your parents are at fault here for reasons not worth going into.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    elizabeth,

    I will agree that the parents are, in part, at fault. Entitled children are not born, they are made. But BTF is old enough to be responsible for her actions and her attitudes.

    BTF, people have given you some really good advice. I've still seen you only mention finding other ways to get out to the barn instead of ways of making things easier at home. Kels had an excellent post...get home and unload the dishwasher, fold the laundry...without being asked, without seeing it as a bribe. Contribute to the general family well-being and more than likely, your parents will be more willing to contribute to you.

    Your horse is a privilege that it sounds like you've come to expect, just like you seem to expect a car or access to a car when you turn 16. A car is privilege (unless you foot the bill for it...the car itself, but also gas, insurance, etc). You are not entitled to either of these things. The most your parents have to give you is food, shelter, clothes, and love. Anything else is a bonus because, gasp, they want you to have the things that make you happy. Don't use their generosity against them or make them regret it. Learn from it, be generous in return.

    My Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/user/slorugbug
    Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
    Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"

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    • #82
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by b0rntofly:
      It also really hurts my feelings to hear you guys say I'm a spoiled brat...Without getting to know me.
      <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

      And I wonder how it would make your mother feel to hear you call her "lazy" without realizing what exactly it is she does all day?

      ------------------------------
      "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life."
      "These are my principles. If you do not like them, I have others." --Groucho Marx

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      • #83
        When I was 16 and my mother was too "lazy" to drive me to the barn, I threw hissy fits all the time.

        Now I realize she was clinically depressed with a social anxiety disorder and was too afraid to leave the house.

        BTF- try to be nice to your parents. I know it feels unfair that they bought you the horse and now they won't let you see it, but think about it from their perspective- they love their kid so much they gave her something. But now they get no thanks for it, and they're fed up. So no more giving (which in this case means rides).

        And, for the record, it is possible to buy and keep a horse on a minumum wage job. I did it all through high school. You just have to want it bad enough.

        Good luck

        "Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Horses have slaves."
        __________________________________________________ _______
        \"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Horses have slaves.\"

        Comment


        • #84
          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> The most your parents have to give you is food, shelter, clothes, and love. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

          And before these "woe is me, my parents won't give me MORE" threads go even further, can we all stop and put things in a little perspective by thinking about the kids for whom above items #1, 2 and 3 are a struggle??

          Reality check over. We now return you to your regularly scheduled poverty-free life.

          ---------------------------------------------
          "If you think your hairstyle is more important than your brain, you're probably right." Wear a helmet!
          Pictures!
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          Click here before you buy.

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          • #85
            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deltawave:
            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> The most your parents have to give you is food, shelter, clothes, and love. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

            And before these "woe is me, my parents won't give me MORE" threads go even further, can we all stop and put things in a little perspective by thinking about the kids for whom above items #1, 2 and 3 are a struggle??

            Reality check over. We now return you to your regularly scheduled poverty-free life.

            ---------------------------------------------
            <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

            My point exactly.

            -Kelsey-
            It is so easy, in the presence of horses, to appear foolish or incompetent.
            http://www.gottaride.net/forums

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            • #86
              I'd really love to hear from your mother on this one. There are two sides to every story, and forgive me if I don't buy the "she's too lazy" argument. I HIGHLY doubt that is it.

              Also, and I mean this sincerely... If your mood is that severely affected by not being at the barn every day or by not being driven to the barn, then you might consider counseling. I mean this honestly. It's not healthy to have that much emotional stock in something like that. I love my horse, and I try to see him everyday. But I do not become depressed or severely unhappy when I can't get there. Something to think about.... I am hoping you were just exaggerating, as of course, I do miss my horse when I can't see him. If you aren't, though, you might have a problem that needs attention.

              [This message was edited by Phaxxton on Jan. 20, 2004 at 02:55 PM.]


              Comment


              • #87
                Haven't read all the replies, but get the general impression that you are getting negative responses.

                The bicycle suggestion was probably good for good weather, but considering where you are located...definitely a no go at this time of year.

                Now... I am just throwing this out for consideration: I'm sure you are very grateful to have a horse and frustrated at not getting out to ride it as much a you feel you should. You've been jumped on regarding what your parents "owe" or do not owe you in this regard... but I gotta wonder if getting you the horse was the big deal... after much pleading, promises, etc.... and now your parents are being sort of passive/agressive in limiting your time, hoping you will give up and they will no longer have the expense...?????

                Folks, it's easy to assume that someone is being ungrateful, but there MAY be an underlying negative attitude on the parents' parts here. Too bad the time factor and getting to the horse wasn't negotiated when it was first obtained.

                Oh well, hang in there: Only a few months to go... or will there be a car access issue then??

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  #88
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sandy M:
                  Haven't read all the replies, but get the general impression that you are getting negative responses.

                  The bicycle suggestion was probably good for good weather, but considering where you are located...definitely a no go at this time of year.

                  Now... I am just throwing this out for consideration: I'm sure you are very grateful to have a horse and frustrated at not getting out to ride it as much a you feel you should. You've been jumped on regarding what your parents "owe" or do not owe you in this regard... but I gotta wonder if getting you the horse was the big deal... after much pleading, promises, etc.... and now your parents are being sort of passive/agressive in limiting your time, hoping you will give up and they will no longer have the expense...?????

                  Folks, it's easy to assume that someone is being ungrateful, but there MAY be an underlying negative attitude on the parents' parts here. Too bad the time factor and getting to the horse wasn't negotiated when it was first obtained.

                  Oh well, hang in there: Only a few months to go... or will there be a car access issue then??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                  It was a big deal to get me my first horse. I've wanted one since I began riding, at age 6. Having a horse is a big financial strain for my mother and step-father.

                  Kels,
                  Just because I do not mention your ideas, does not mean that I am considering them. Personally, I'd rather clean sheathes all day than lift a finger in the house...But whatever works.

                  Proud member of the Teen Clique
                  Pay Big Tacky Jay
                  1998 Registered Bay QH Mare
                  {Run Tacky Jay x Pay The Big Jay}

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #89
                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by equigirl:
                    When I was 16 and my mother was too "lazy" to drive me to the barn, I threw hissy fits all the time.

                    Now I realize she was clinically depressed with a social anxiety disorder and was too afraid to leave the house.

                    "Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Horses have slaves."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                    My mom does have clinical depression. And I should be more considerate, but we are both on medicine for me...And I sure know my medicine doesn't help fully, but...Yeah. I don't know what I'm saying. She is also very sore from a shoulder injury but I've just thought...How hard is it to drive when your shoulders hurt?

                    Don't shoot me.

                    Proud member of the Teen Clique
                    Pay Big Tacky Jay
                    1998 Registered Bay QH Mare
                    {Run Tacky Jay x Pay The Big Jay}

                    Comment


                    • #90
                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by b0rntofly:
                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sandy M:
                      Haven't read all the replies, but get the general impression that you are getting negative responses.

                      The bicycle suggestion was probably good for good weather, but considering where you are located...definitely a no go at this time of year.

                      Now... I am just throwing this out for consideration: I'm sure you are very grateful to have a horse and frustrated at not getting out to ride it as much a you feel you should. You've been jumped on regarding what your parents "owe" or do not owe you in this regard... but I gotta wonder if getting you the horse was the big deal... after much pleading, promises, etc.... and now your parents are being sort of passive/agressive in limiting your time, hoping you will give up and they will no longer have the expense...?????

                      Folks, it's easy to assume that someone is being ungrateful, but there MAY be an underlying negative attitude on the parents' parts here. Too bad the time factor and getting to the horse wasn't negotiated when it was first obtained.

                      Oh well, hang in there: Only a few months to go... or will there be a car access issue then??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                      It was a big deal to get me my first horse. I've wanted one since I began riding, at age 6. Having a horse is a big financial strain for my mother and step-father.

                      Kels,
                      Just because I do not mention your ideas, does not mean that I am considering them. Personally, I'd rather clean sheathes all day than lift a finger in the house...But whatever works.

                      Proud member of the Teen Clique<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                      Just as I am sure your mother would prefer doing something she loves that others might find disgusting than lift a finger in the house...

                      Quit thinking of only yourself, because everything has two sides.

                      -Kelsey-
                      It is so easy, in the presence of horses, to appear foolish or incompetent.
                      http://www.gottaride.net/forums

                      Comment


                      • #91
                        Your mom has depression, a shoulder injury but still manages to work full time, keep a husband and a household, and drive you to the barn some of the time?

                        She counts as a superwoman in my books. YOu should be far kinder to her.
                        ________________________________________________
                        "Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Horses have slaves."
                        __________________________________________________ _______
                        \"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Horses have slaves.\"

                        Comment


                        • #92
                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by equigirl:
                          Your mom has depression, a shoulder injury but still manages to work full time, keep a husband and a household, _and_ drive you to the barn some of the time?

                          She counts as a superwoman in my books. YOu should be far kinder to her.

                          "Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Horses have slaves."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                          Me too- SUPER super woman because she still does a TON for you!

                          -Kelsey-
                          It is so easy, in the presence of horses, to appear foolish or incompetent.
                          http://www.gottaride.net/forums

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            #93
                            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by equigirl:
                            Your mom has depression, a shoulder injury but still manages to work full time, keep a husband and a household, _and_ drive you to the barn some of the time?

                            _She counts as a superwoman in my books._ YOu should be far kinder to her.
                            ________________________________________________
                            "Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Horses have slaves."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                            I am kind to her, unless we are at eachother's throats. I hate it that it seems like I'm not from this thread.

                            Proud member of the Teen Clique
                            Pay Big Tacky Jay
                            1998 Registered Bay QH Mare
                            {Run Tacky Jay x Pay The Big Jay}

                            Comment

                            • Original Poster

                              #94
                              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kels:
                              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by equigirl:
                              Your mom has depression, a shoulder injury but still manages to work full time, keep a husband and a household, _and_ drive you to the barn some of the time?

                              She counts as a superwoman in my books. YOu should be far kinder to her.

                              "Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Horses have slaves."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                              Me too- SUPER super woman because she still does a TON for you!

                              -Kelsey-
                              It is so easy, in the presence of horses, to appear foolish or incompetent.
                              http://www.gottaride.net/forums<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                              I never said she didn't!!

                              Proud member of the Teen Clique
                              Pay Big Tacky Jay
                              1998 Registered Bay QH Mare
                              {Run Tacky Jay x Pay The Big Jay}

                              Comment

                              • Original Poster

                                #95
                                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kels:
                                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by b0rntofly:
                                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sandy M:
                                Haven't read all the replies, but get the general impression that you are getting negative responses.

                                The bicycle suggestion was probably good for good weather, but considering where you are located...definitely a no go at this time of year.

                                Now... I am just throwing this out for consideration: I'm sure you are very grateful to have a horse and frustrated at not getting out to ride it as much a you feel you should. You've been jumped on regarding what your parents "owe" or do not owe you in this regard... but I gotta wonder if getting you the horse was the big deal... after much pleading, promises, etc.... and now your parents are being sort of passive/agressive in limiting your time, hoping you will give up and they will no longer have the expense...?????

                                Folks, it's easy to assume that someone is being ungrateful, but there MAY be an underlying negative attitude on the parents' parts here. Too bad the time factor and getting to the horse wasn't negotiated when it was first obtained.

                                Oh well, hang in there: Only a few months to go... or will there be a car access issue then??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                It was a big deal to get me my first horse. I've wanted one since I began riding, at age 6. Having a horse is a big financial strain for my mother and step-father.

                                Kels,
                                Just because I do not mention your ideas, does not mean that I am considering them. Personally, I'd rather clean sheathes all day than lift a finger in the house...But whatever works.

                                Proud member of the Teen Clique<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                Just as I am sure your mother would prefer doing something she loves that others might find disgusting than lift a finger in the house...

                                Quit thinking of only yourself, because everything has two sides.

                                -Kelsey-
                                It is so easy, in the presence of horses, to appear foolish or incompetent.
                                http://www.gottaride.net/forums<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                Sorry if you feel I am only thinking of myself. And in the beginning of this post, I was. On page 4, I was migrating towards not thinking of only myself. And now, I may come off as thinking only as myself--because I am trying to ignore mean-hearted stabs at me. At least that's how it comes off to me.

                                Proud member of the Teen Clique
                                Pay Big Tacky Jay
                                1998 Registered Bay QH Mare
                                {Run Tacky Jay x Pay The Big Jay}

                                Comment


                                • #96
                                  BTF, nobody on this thread REALLY knows you, so don't take these comments to heart. We can only judge by what we've heard from you, and make no mistake--people DO judge others on face value.

                                  I'll wager that NOBODY here truly wishes you ill, so please accept the criticism NOT as a personal indictment but as a response to what you typed and the way you typed it.

                                  It hurts to grow, but I'd say based on your comments you've done a lot of it today!

                                  ---------------------------------------------
                                  "If you think your hairstyle is more important than your brain, you're probably right." Wear a helmet!
                                  Pictures!
                                  Helmet Nazi, Bah Humbug, Mares Rule, Breed Your Own and Michigan cliques!
                                  Click here before you buy.

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #97
                                    How hard is it? I dunno- let's try dislocating both your shoulders and put you behind the wheel of a car.

                                    ...I thought that in the past. Not now.

                                    Proud member of the Teen Clique
                                    Pay Big Tacky Jay
                                    1998 Registered Bay QH Mare
                                    {Run Tacky Jay x Pay The Big Jay}

                                    Comment


                                    • #98
                                      Okay, I'm going to stay totally out of this debate as much as I can (biting tongue severely) and give you a suggestion.
                                      Get an after school job at the barn. Feed/turnout/muck stalls, etc. Have that work go toward paying the bording costs. Your helping mom and get to be at the barn. My guess is your mom (who sounds like a wonderful person) would be more willing to cart you to a job when the benefits suit you both.
                                      Just a thought.
                                      "Hell, when I move my things go in boxes and I always make sure and bubble wrap my dog feces so it don't get broke." runwayz

                                      Comment


                                      • #99
                                        I knew it was just too good to be true that this was just a troll-vent.

                                        How very, very sad that this is a REAL post by a REAL person. Good Lord how I pity her parents. . . . .

                                        (and how much I would LOVE for them to see this spoiled brat's post here. . . . )

                                        My body is a temple - unfortunately, it's a "fixer-upper".

                                        Comment


                                        • I haven't read all the responses, so pardon me if this post is redundant.

                                          I went through the same thing for a while. My mom doesn't work, and is therefore demoted to being the family chauffeur - dad usually doesn't get home until after the rest of us do. For a while, she complained about taking me to do the barn ("Do you HAVE TO ride today? I don't understand why you can just give her the day off and go out tomorrow." I'm thinking, "Because you won't want to go out then either, thats why," in true teenager fashion). Point being, you're not alone

                                          Like someone mentioned, get a bike. I know it's impossible to ride it during the winter, considering it's pitch black by 5pm, but it will come in handy in the spring.

                                          Driving with a shoulder injury is pretty tough, I can imagine. It's never happened to me, but you use your shoulders more than you'd think when you're driving.

                                          I think you have to accept the fact that it may be impossible for your mom to drive you to the barn every day, and it sounds like you've started to do that. I'm sorry that everyone is jumping on your back about this issue...it's a really tough one to judge without actually being in your situation.

                                          Just think...SIX MONTHS!

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