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Lazy parents..Don't take you to barn?

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  • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>

    _3 DAYS AGO...._

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    2...

    -Kelsey-
    And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kels:
      And one more thing...

      Medicine or not, depressed or not, that is NO EXCUSE to be irresponsible and ungrateful...I am not calling you irresponsible so don't take offense and go cry, but it does NOT give you an excuse...

      There was a time when I thought this and now I realize that it isn't. It's not an excuse for people to feel sorry for you because I have another bit of news for you: like half if not more of the population is on SOME KIND of medicine for depression, etc.

      Get over it, you're not the only one, and I guarantee MANY, MANY more people are worse off than you.

      -Kelsey-
      It is so easy, in the presence of horses, to appear foolish or incompetent.
      http://www.gottaride.net/forums<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
      I can't believe you guys assume I'm ungrateful. I'm not. Well, I can be, yes.

      Breezymeadows...Wow. I hope I don't grow up to be like you.

      I actually talked to my mom about it last night. I am helping out around the house more.

      I can't believe how rude some of you are. We are all rude.

      Proud member of the Teen Clique
      Pay Big Tacky Jay
      1998 Registered Bay QH Mare
      {Run Tacky Jay x Pay The Big Jay}

      Comment


      • The way you use your words will either help you or kick your ass.

        That was one of the first things I was taught as a child. (In much nicer terms )

        You asked for advice, we gave it.

        -Kelsey-
        And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          So obviously you'll think I'm a spoiled, inconsiderate brat.

          Can we forget about this post? It doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. I've listened to all the advice and already followed some.

          If I delete it, will you all avoid my other posts because you dislike me?

          Proud member of the Teen Clique
          Pay Big Tacky Jay
          1998 Registered Bay QH Mare
          {Run Tacky Jay x Pay The Big Jay}

          Comment


          • You asked for advice...but what you really wanted was validation that being disrespectful and self centered was ok.

            I have to agree with breezymeadow, you are coming across as a selfish spoiled brat.

            "If I delete it, will you all avoid my other posts because you dislike me?"

            I don't even know you, Are you realy 15? The tone of your posts seem quite childish.

            If I found my own daughter saying these things on a public BB, there would be a "For Sale' sign up today! As a matter of fact I did show this to her, and at 10 years old, she thought you needed to learn some respect as well as to begin to do for yourself instead of whining about it.

            PS...edited to add: IF you think you are being picked on, then ask the mods to delete the entire thread.
            Proud Rubenesquestrian!

            \"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up

            Comment


            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by horse_poor:
              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scootie:
              Horse Poor, I believe there was a post a few pages back where BTF said she would return in the morning. So she must have had to sign off. Most people can't just sit on the computer all night you know.

              <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


              no we cant sit on the computer all night but considering i made the offer on the 19th----ie _3 DAYS AGO...._

              WHOA THERE! I would not want my daughter to respond to an offer of any king of help over the internet from someone she did not know unless I had personally done a LOT of checking. It might be perfectly well intentioned but how should she know? If BTF is ignoring your offer, I am actually relieved.


              doesnt matter to me-----i am siding with breezy on this one-----i rode my bike to the barn when i was a teen---for gawds sake i even chose to buy a horse over a car----my parents told me i could use my savings account for either a car or a horse. i rode that bike, begged rides from friends, and was at the "mercy" of my parents to get me to the barn. i was thrilled when my parents even inquired into my horse's well being--i cannot imagine them actually buying a horse for me or supporting it. i paid for everything, worked 2 jobs to pay for it, went to high school and even got good grades.

              i am a parent now as well and if my kids even so much breathed that i was too lazy to take them to the barn/tae kwon do, hockey, etc, whatever activity they were whining about would be gone justlikethat. and if i found out they posted about the said laziness on a public forum, their butts would be sitting at home doing NOTHING.

              i have very little tolerance for ingratefulness.

              signed---- ME
              (toned down sig as to not offend others <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

              I am SO NOT impressed. Not everybody has access to a barn to work at. Not all teenagers can hold down jobs, particularly if they suffer from severe depression or other PHYSIOLOGICAL conditions. Not all PARENTS will permit their children to do these things, believe it of not. Whether or not the children "deserve" it. You know everything you ever accomplished as a minor was not 100% to your credit--if your dad wanted to make your life miserable he could have not allowed you to ride your bike on the roads, called the barn owner and told the barn owner send you home and notify him. He could have forced you to sell the horse, or even advertised it and sold it himself. He could have beat your butt if you did not wear dresses 24/7... And some parents do these things because of a personal agenda that has nothing to do with the child or her behavior.

              That you were able to get where you are today by hard work was commendable...but it was a combination of hard work and SHEER LUCK! I know you probably don't want to hear it but it is true. You were LUCKY to have had parents who seem to have been basically decent and suppportive in their own way, to have had good enough health to do what you wanted, access to income sources, etc. Not all kids have such opportunities.

              I agree that BTF's initial posts had a nasty sound to them and they did not sound nice. This are certainly things I would not expect from my daughter now, but a few years ago, I wouldn't have put it past her, but she learned quickly what flew in front of Mama and what didn't. Kids learn very quickly what not to say in hearing of their parents and to make sure what they say behind their backs don't get back to them. And whether a lot of "adults" want to believe this, sometimes there is an element of truth in what they say.

              Sometime the younger persons on this board seem to forget that this board is not totally made up of their peers and spout off in ways that are not acceptable to adults. This type of venting among peers is appropriate, the energy has to go somewhere. If BTF truly has made a mistake, it most likely was that one.

              Also, you make youself sound UNgrateful in your post. So don't complain about others.

              Founder and president of the No-Legged Rider Clique
              Snap Dragon's mom.

              Comment


              • If you delete it, will we avoid you? Did I avoid you on your other thread on the bb? No. That's being immature.

                4_beatin_it: 15 IS a child But I am not so far off, and I can't say anything!

                -Kelsey-
                And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.

                Comment


                • Kels, No, 15 is a teenager, while not an adult yet, certainly not a child. Children throw temper tantrums when they do not get their way, teenagers should be attempting to outgrow that if they want to be viewed as a young adult.

                  Dragons is so stupid!
                  Proud Rubenesquestrian!

                  \"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up

                  Comment


                  • Kels, No, 15 is a teenager, while not an adult yet, certainly not a child. Children throw temper tantrums when they do not get their way, teenagers should be attempting to outgrow that if they want to be viewed as a young adult.

                    Dragons is so stupid!
                    Proud Rubenesquestrian!

                    \"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up

                    Comment


                    • Kels, No, 15 is a teenager, while not an adult yet, certainly not a child. Children throw temper tantrums when they do not get their way, teenagers should be attempting to outgrow that if they want to be viewed as a young adult.

                      Dragons is so stupid!
                      Proud Rubenesquestrian!

                      \"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up

                      Comment


                      • Yes, but have you BEEN a teenager recently? Because that is not always the case these days, unfortunately.

                        I know more teenagers that would throw HUGE temper tantrums than small children.

                        -Kelsey-
                        And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.

                        Comment


                        • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by b0rntofly:
                          I can't believe you guys assume I'm ungrateful. I'm not. Well, I can be, yes.

                          ...

                          I can't believe how rude some of you are. We are all rude.

                          Proud member of the Teen Clique<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>



                          Comment


                          • lmao...:X AHHHH! Hopeless.

                            -Kelsey-
                            And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.

                            Comment


                            • Kels, don't take this the wrong way but I think you should lay off. I don't know why you have to be so angry toward BTF. She hasn't done anything to you personally, at least that I know of. OK, she is not living HER life the way YOU think SHE should. Guess what? BTF has a right to not accept the mere suggestions given here unless they make sense to her. BTF is also the ONLY person who can decide what makes sense to her and what does not. YOU can NOT do this.

                              Don't be like some girls I knew in High School. You know the ones who convinced all the adults they were so "mature". Then went around telling others how to live their lives, how to deal with their parents, what to think, etc. Of course it was only in context of what they knew, which was absolutely nothing about the lives of their "targets". I learned to ignore them, did not even consider their "directions" and 30+ years later am glad I did not. Those girls got good grades, went to good colleges, got good jobs and now are the bosses, supervisors and managers from Hell because either they never learned to walk in the shoes of others, or more likely, their fears, anger and bitterness towards those not "like them" were never resolved.

                              I think you are a smart young lady, and I like to think you know better than to head down that primrose path. In the end you will be neither respected or liked and the world will NOT be a better place.

                              You've said your piece. You're ideas are sound even if the presentation sucks. There was nothing wrong with your ideas and you gave them. Anything further is not constructive and you are giving BTF good reason to not give you the time of day.

                              An example of what I am talking of relates to your prescription for writing lists of all the suggestions. Sometimes using the concentration it takes can be exhausting for a truly depressed young person. Try it with a combination of undiagnosed and untreated depression and undiagnodes and untreated ADD if you want real torture. BTF knows more about her own capabilities than you do so she has a right to decide whether to do it or not.

                              End of discussion.

                              Founder and president of the No-Legged Rider Clique
                              Snap Dragon's mom.

                              Comment


                              • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by b0rntofly:

                                I can't believe you guys assume I'm ungrateful. I'm not. Well, I can be, yes.

                                I can't believe how rude some of you are. We are all rude.

                                <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                Well, that was eloquent. Did you even read that? It makes no sense. Like those cartoons when I was young.."No, I'm not", Yes, you are", "No, I'm not."

                                Yes, you canme here and asked a question, and then dug yourself into a hole with each answer, what are we supposed to infer? I think it's telling that so many of us have shown it to our children and they too roll their eyes. I hope for your sake that someday you will grow up and YOU for a child.

                                Elippses Users Clique........"I hate stall rest" and Grammar Nazi Cliques

                                "What the fuh?" Robby Johnson

                                Ellipses users clique ...
                                TGFPT,HYOOTGP

                                Comment


                                • Scootie, I never said she didn't.

                                  Do you want to know about a TRUELY DEPRESSED YOUNG PERSON? Because really, get me started.

                                  Snap.

                                  Seriously, I am not telling her to do this or to do that, but simply restating ideas because I think that BTF will not read every single post that has been given to her.

                                  She contradicted herself in the above quote and I was pointing that out, as well as belladonna.

                                  And I suggest that you try it with Bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and a mother who is also bipolar. Please, try it. Step into my shoes.

                                  I seriously want BTF to learn from MY mistakes- I am that kind of person. I like to let people know how I fixed things and that YES it may not always work for them (hence I said that she could weed out the bad ones that didn't work for her situation.) but considering EVERY option is always the best route.

                                  Please, I don't care if you think that I am one of those girls from highschool, because I am not. In fact I could've cared less about 3/4s the people from my HS- they were all stuck up drunks and I laughed at their mistakes- rather then try to help them learn from them. This is not me typically, but when you grow to have a deep disrespect for someone you typically tend to not want to help them.

                                  Fortunately, I don't have that disrespect for BTF. I think she is a (for the most part) typical 15 year old girl who needs to learn a lot. Which is why I was trying to give out suggestions- she ASKED for them, as well. Honestly, I can't believe you are even targeting ME out of this thread.

                                  That's really fine, because this is the internet and although I have a DEEP respect for most of the people on this board, there are always different opinions on everything and that's life.

                                  -Kelsey-
                                  And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.

                                  Comment


                                  • BTW, just so you know- I was not one of those girls yet I managed decent grades, I am in college w/ a 3.2 GPA (decent, I can do better) and I WILL be the boss some day- but I will not be the boss from hell because I have NO fears- people unlike me don't scare me, they intrigue me, and I have so much to learn from them.

                                    I know that I am probably smarter than MANY girls my age, and I use it- I don't take advantage of it- and I enjoy educating other people about different things.

                                    -Kelsey-
                                    And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.

                                    Comment


                                    • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scootie:
                                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by horse_poor:
                                      [QUOTE]Originally posted by Scootie:
                                      Horse Poor, I believe there was a post a few pages back where BTF said she would return in the morning. So she must have had to sign off. Most people can't just sit on the computer all night you know.

                                      <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                      no we cant sit on the computer all night but considering i made the offer on the 19th----ie _3 DAYS AGO...._

                                      _WHOA THERE!_ I would not want my daughter to respond to an offer of any king of help over the internet from someone she did not know unless I had personally done a LOT of checking. It might be perfectly well intentioned but how should she know? If BTF is ignoring your offer, I am actually relieved.

                                      LMAO!!!!!!!!! who said anything about meeting me or me doing ANYTHING personal for her??? I merely asked where in MN she was as i thought perhaps i might know other horse people in her area to refer her to for a potential carpool situation----but beings that i am a MOM and LAZY, i wont even go that far

                                      doesnt matter to me-----i am siding with breezy on this one-----i rode my bike to the barn when i was a teen---for gawds sake i even chose to buy a horse over a car----my parents told me i could use my savings account for either a car or a horse. i rode that bike, begged rides from friends, and was at the "mercy" of my parents to get me to the barn. i was thrilled when my parents even inquired into my horse's well being--i cannot imagine them actually buying a horse for me or supporting it. i paid for everything, worked 2 jobs to pay for it, went to high school and even got good grades.

                                      i am a parent now as well and if my kids even so much breathed that i was too lazy to take them to the barn/tae kwon do, hockey, etc, whatever activity they were whining about would be gone justlikethat. and if i found out they posted about the said laziness on a public forum, their butts would be sitting at home doing NOTHING.

                                      i have very little tolerance for ingratefulness.

                                      signed---- ME
                                      (toned down sig as to not offend others <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                      [QUOTE]Originally posted by Scootie:
                                      I am SO NOT impressed. Not everybody has access to a barn to work at. Not all teenagers can hold down jobs, particularly if they suffer from severe depression or other PHYSIOLOGICAL conditions. Not all PARENTS will permit their children to do these things, believe it of not. Whether or not the children "deserve" it. You know everything you ever accomplished as a minor was not 100% to your credit--if your dad wanted to make your life miserable he could have not allowed you to ride your bike on the roads, called the barn owner and told the barn owner send you home and notify him. He could have forced you to sell the horse, or even advertised it and sold it himself. He could have beat your butt if you did not wear dresses 24/7... And some parents do these things because of a personal agenda that has nothing to do with the child or her behavior.

                                      who said i worked at a barn? i worked at mcdonalds and waitressed--took the bus there after school and arranged for rides home with co-workers------it was made very clear when i made the decision to buy this horse that it was MY responsibility for its care and support and my options to get there were either by 1) bike, 2) a preselected approved handful of frends, or 3) them if it were prearranged in advance. true teenagers have physical and mental issues that prevent them from holding down a job, but if they are not physically/mentally able to hold down a job, how are they to be responsible for the care of a horse who solely depends on others for its well being, or how are they to prepare for the "real world"?? and if a teenager is fortunate eenough to not have to support a horse on their own and actually have parents help them, then they had damn well be at the whim of their parents who are footing the bill. and what the fuh??? what do DRESSES have to do with this?????


                                      That you were able to get where you are today by hard work was commendable...but it was a combination of hard work and SHEER LUCK! I know you probably don't want to hear it but it is true. You were LUCKY to have had parents who seem to have been basically decent and suppportive in their own way, to have had good enough health to do what you wanted, access to income sources, etc. Not all kids have such opportunities.

                                      my parents and i do not speak much due to issues we had when i was a teenager that carried on into my adult life----the majority of the issues being LACK of support--my health isnt the greatest and like others i did and do suffer from depression, but i did what i had to do--i put myself thru college, supported my horses thru college and have access to income sources because i bust my a$$ and WORK-has NOTHING to do with luck-winning the lottery is luck--success thru work and determination is called self sufficiency--it has to do with determination and the will to get the job done, period. it has to do with working as a teenager not only to make myself more marketable as an adult but to support my horse, it has to do with the willingness to go to school get grades so a better JOB can be had later in life. it has to do with preplanning---if i get this horser then A, B, and C will need to be done---- all kinds of suggestions have been made to BTF and the majority of them have been ignored or justified as to why they WOULDNT work. i have told MANY a student of mine that were in their teens to repeatedly thank their parents for making their riding possible and i tend to get VERY cranky when i hear one of them lipping off to a parent or geting snotty to them and then remind them that in most cases without their parents, they wouldnt be riding. again, as i said,, if i found out my kid posted on a public BB that i was "lazy" because i wouldnt drive her ingrateful butt to the barn on her whim, the horse would be GONE

                                      and since i am a LAZY MOM i am not going to expend any more energy on this thread-----

                                      signed---- ME
                                      (toned down sig as to not offend others
                                      Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
                                      http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
                                      also available on Amazon.com
                                      http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

                                      Comment


                                      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by b0rntofly:
                                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kels:
                                        And one more thing...

                                        Medicine or not, depressed or not, that is NO EXCUSE to be irresponsible and ungrateful...I am not calling you irresponsible so don't take offense and go cry, but it does NOT give you an excuse...

                                        There was a time when I thought this and now I realize that it isn't. It's not an excuse for people to feel sorry for you because I have another bit of news for you: like half if not more of the population is on SOME KIND of medicine for depression, etc.

                                        Get over it, you're not the only one, and I guarantee MANY, MANY more people are worse off than you.

                                        -Kelsey-
                                        It is so easy, in the presence of horses, to appear foolish or incompetent.
                                        http://www.gottaride.net/forums<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                        I can't believe you guys assume I'm ungrateful. I'm not. Well, I can be, yes.

                                        Breezymeadows...Wow. I hope I don't grow up to be like you.

                                        I actually talked to my mom about it last night. I am helping out around the house more.

                                        I can't believe how rude some of you are. We are all rude.

                                        Proud member of the Teen Clique<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                        BornToFly,

                                        I think you made a bad judgement call when you started this thread and phrased it the way you did. You said things you should not have in this particular setting that probably would have been OK if you were among peers you know pretty well. I doubt you REALLY believe your Mom is lazy. It just sounds like she is dealing with a lot of bad stuff right now and needs to take care of herself. However, that does not make it less frustrating for you, and no matter how well you understand, you still might be feeling neglected.

                                        Your bad choice of words should not have provoked the "wolf pack" response, but sometimes it happens. You know, it starts being constructive, you got a little defensive, the whole thing rolled downhill. I think you should chalk this all up as a learning experience about being careful about what you say and who you say it too. If you need to fuss about your mom because you are frustrated, perhaps you should seek a BB that is all teens or better yet find some sympathetic friends of your own age--that way nothing potentially incriminating gets written down.

                                        Personally, if I were you I would opt to close this thread since it has ceased to be really helpful. I hope your mom's shoulder gets better and you are able to resolve some of your issues or at least better tolerate the next 6 months!

                                        Founder and president of the No-Legged Rider Clique
                                        Snap Dragon's mom.

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                                        • I know just what youre going through...my parents were often way too busy to drive me or pick me up when i wanted to get there. My trainer started taking my home everyday...but, eventually my parents bought me a moped to drive to the barn...it worked out perfectly!

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                                          "While girls schools are notoriously wild, the true party-hearty girl attends Hollins" ~The Preppy Handbook

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