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Half Lease gone a bit bonkers...

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  • #61
    If she wants to engage or become dramatic don't take the bait. I read the best thing for this is come up with a canned response, and just keep repeating it to her no matter what she says. (self help book) So a simple, my horse, my choice over and over like a broken record is really the best option. She will try you, because she is used to getting what she wants with bad behavior. Good luck and happy horse near by in your future.
    Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.--Adam Stanley

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    • #62
      Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe the OP has been going to ride the horse at the barn where he is, so she too has been using the facilities sporadically.

      Pay the barn owner for June, move the horse into the new barn the first week of June and you are good to go. She can drive two hours to come see him, if she still wants her lease for June (since no shows planned). If she doesn't pay you for June, then I think you have every right to move him when you wish.

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      • #63
        You're not alone . I just posted a thread a few days ago on my 4 hour each way drive to my barn . I think we are working out a situation to where we are a normal 30 +/- minutes away .. That lessor is taking advantage in many ways. If she wants the shoes let her do it . My saddlebreds are $190.00 a pop so I can sympathize. My TB broodmares stay barefoot for their 30.00 trim but you can still ride them if you had to . She has a lot of nerve alright .

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        • #64
          Do you have anything in the lease agreement that you can cancel the lease besides the 30 days clause? I just wonder if her badgering and bullying you could be seen as a way to get out of the contract without the 30 days.

          She's had a pretty sweet deal for several years and she's pizzed that she's losing it. But as has been stated, it is NOT her horse and she does NOT get to dictate to you what you can do with him.

          Thank her for taking such good care of pookie for all this time, but state that it's time to move on from the lease and wish her good luck in the future.

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          • #65
            I agree if there is nothing in the Lease about where he is kept then pay the 30 days and move him near you. She can then be the one to drive for 4 hours to ride him if she wants. I bet she doesn't.
            It is better to ride 5 minutes a day than it is to ride 35 minutes on a Sunday.

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            • #66
              Horses don't care about "potential" or "talent". They care about where their next meal is coming from and if they have a buddy nearby. I have a formerly very successful show horse. A year ago I brought him home from the trainer's and turned him into a trail horse. He loves to wallow in the mud and rub out his mane and nip at his buddies while on 24/7 turnout. I've had people ask me, in a mildly critical fashion, if I'm not short-changing him by retiring him from the show ring.

              He assures me he's happy. I believe him.

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              • Original Poster
                #67
                The contract is simple and does not have a clause in it about where the horse is stabled. It's interesting to me that most think she has had the better end of the deal - for a long time now she has led me to think SHE is doing me a favor!

                Did I mention that I pay the board every month, then she sends me the cash, and often doesn't do so until the 15th of the month?! That means from the 1st to then, I must carry 100% of the fees. The evidence just keeps adding up.

                I'm silly for letting it happen

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                • #68
                  Originally posted by DancingArabian View Post
                  Does your lease include a clause about who determines where the horse will be kept? Who has signed the boarding contract for the horse?

                  You could leave it up to HER to end the lease by just informing her that you're relocating the horse, allowed per the contract. If you did not sign the boarding agreement, I don't know what your responsibilities are to the barn, if any.
                  Oh I like this and agree. If the lease agreement doesn't have any caveat about where the horse is to be kept (other than at the owner's discretion/choice) then you essentially can move the horse right away and the lessee can continue to ride if they want to do that commute? or you can move Your horse closer to YOU and then give her 30 days notice. I'd get the horse out of there as soon as possible just to avoid any more drama.

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                  • #69
                    I think you are on the right track, for sure. I was shocked when I realized that YOU were paying for the shoes, that he only needed because she wanted them.

                    My one comment is don't mention what good care she's taken of him. Something along the lines of "I'm glad it worked out for all of us until now" or something, but just in case she's truly loony tunes, you don't want to give her credit for his health and well-being. She might try to collect retroactive child care credits or something.
                    Shut up, brain. I'm trying to sleep. (Courtesy AirsAboveNC)

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                    • #70
                      The second you move him and the lease ends, then in your place I would block her phone calls, emails, etc. A definite end would be a good thing. Plus, I bet you don't get any more money the second she realizes the lease is over, and the horse is definitely moving.
                      You can't fix stupid-Ron White

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                      • #71
                        Her trainer will find her a new horse to lease.

                        And it will cost her far more than your arrangement did. Rightly so. But she will have a suitable horse to compete on, so no tears for her.
                        No matter where you go, there you are

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                        • Original Poster
                          #72
                          Haha. She once told me she had plenty of horses offered to her for free - I was lucky.

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
                            Haha. She once told me she had plenty of horses offered to her for free - I was lucky.

                            "When I look back on my life, the times I have been stingy or unappreciative haunt me. I don't regret one instance of generosity." --PeteyPie

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                            • #74
                              No sense beating yourself up about things in the past. Think forward, about enjoying your own horse, with him in a place convenient to you!
                              "When I look back on my life, the times I have been stingy or unappreciative haunt me. I don't regret one instance of generosity." --PeteyPie

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                              • #75
                                Geeze--this thread went from 0 to 60 in about six seconds!

                                ALL of me would be furious!!!

                                I agree with those who say the lease is over as of yesterday! And pay for June's board and yank that horse out of there ASAP!!!

                                Sheesh! Some people!!! "No good deed goes unpunished!".

                                Hope you sleep well tonight....
                                "Don't blame Hogg or the other teens. The adults are supposed to know better. If only we could find any." ~Tom Nichols, professor of national security affairs at the Naval War College~

                                Comment

                                • #76
                                  Ok, I think I am scared now, COTH 100% in agreement?

                                  Your horse, your decision.
                                  Unless I was a millionaire having a string of GP horses, my horse would be near me. Period. Full Stop.

                                  Not going into what a user she is....move, don't loo back!

                                  Comment

                                  • #77
                                    Dear OP,
                                    Please add my name to your long list of future lease applications. You are a dream leaser and I would be lucky to have the lease arrangements. My previous lease arrangements have all included some vet, maintenance, shoeing and misc expenses. Always was equitable and fare. I also paid for blanket cleaning and more because I was so lucky to have a great horse and barn. Horses are so expensive having a good barn and horse is priceless for those of us horseless.

                                    Your lease is an amazing steal!

                                    Good luck wrapping everything up and enjoy your horse!

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster
                                      #78
                                      Haha! I'm glad I was able to bring the board together to sing Kumbaya
                                      In all honesty though I am SO relieved. She was almost gas lighting in her way of dealing with me and rationalizing everything. I really do feel so much more confident about my decision!

                                      Comment

                                      • #79
                                        Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
                                        Haha! I'm glad I was able to bring the board together to sing Kumbaya
                                        In all honesty though I am SO relieved. She was almost gas lighting in her way of dealing with me and rationalizing everything. I really do feel so much more confident about my decision!
                                        I love that you used the term gaslighting!

                                        Comment

                                        • Original Poster
                                          #80
                                          It's appropriate!

                                          Comment

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