• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Your forum sign-up is not complete, you must add an Alias/Screen Name before you can post to the forums. Your name and email is not exposed to Forum users, only the Screen Name is accessible or viewable. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.
    Complete Profile
  • Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.
    Complete Profile

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

Half Lease gone a bit bonkers...

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Page of 32
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 13 32 Next
  • #41
    Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
    Should I respond to the accusations and fireworks, or just say "sorry, my decision is made"? I feel like I should respond to the nonsense, but by the same token, I want to be the adult here :/
    Be the adult. Remember, no is a complete sentence.

    Comment

    • #42
      Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
      He is safe. The barn owners are aware of the situation and are on my side. I have all relevant paperwork regarding him, including registrations, vet bills, board receipts etc. etc. If she managed to get him anywhere, and that's a big IF, she'd be a criminal. And while she's behaving like a child, I don't think she's capable of that.
      Just remember, if she moves the horse when the barn owners are not looking (not home, sleeping, etc) the horse will be gone. Criminal or civil, you might not have your horse.

      I wouldn't engage her in any further conversation other than to end the lease and pick him up yesterday.
      You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something… S. Jobs

      Comment

      • #43
        And don't tell her where you are moving him too! You do not want her showing up there.... Good luck and end this lease ASAP!
        Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

        Comment

        • #44
          Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
          Should I respond to the accusations and fireworks, or just say "sorry, my decision is made"? I feel like I should respond to the nonsense, but by the same token, I want to be the adult here :/
          It will do no good to take part in the drama. Simply "my horse, my choice and this is it".
          You know why cowboys don't like Appaloosas?" - Answer: Because to train a horse, you have to be smarter than it is.

          Comment

          • #45
            Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
            Should I respond to the accusations and fireworks, or just say "sorry, my decision is made"? I feel like I should respond to the nonsense, but by the same token, I want to be the adult here :/
            If you engage with her dramatics and justify your reasons, you are inviting her to negotiate. Even using phrases like "I'm sorry but, " or "I wish she could stay here but the drive is just too long" etc are invitations to negotiate.
            Replace those with something like
            --I know this is disappointing, but ....
            --I understand that you don't agree, but...

            Subtle little shifts like his help you stay in control when navigating a confrontational bully. Focus on the here-and-now, and resist temptation to dredge up stuff from the past that you fully agreed to, but now resent (farrier, vet bills, etc). You're a competent adult, she didn't make you do anything. Not saying it's wrong to feel bad that you had to pay for all those things, especially since she expresses zero gratitude. But it's a weak argument that you won't win. Keep your conversation with her on topics that you'll win.

            Good luck, and I hope it goes well. Sounds like she's had a overall positive influence on your horse in terms of training, show exposure, etc, so there's a lot to be grateful for.

            Comment

            • #46
              I would get the horse back before he does sustain an injury. Showing is hard on them, and I would hate for you to get a broken horse back when you want to ride and have fun.

              You aren't going to make a friend here, and it may end with some animosity but remember you are in the right! It's your horse, take him back. She can find another horse to ride.

              Even if he is an Olympic champion, or won Rolex, he will love being cuddled by you and hacking around, I promise. I am sure some horses like the applause, but in the end they are just horses and mostly like food and hanging out, and maybe going out on a nice ride. Enjoy your new horse who is impeccably trained and will be a joy to ride!

              Comment

              • #47
                The horse does not care about the "glamour" of showing, or of being in a fancy barn. He doesn't care about his "potential" in the show ring.

                I have a "fancy" horse, and I used to feel the same way. That I was holding him back. Because I really, REALLY wanted to see him covered in ribbons with the flower neck-thingy.

                But you know what? He doesn't care about that stuff. He is happy to see me. He is happy to keep my company and enjoys going out on adventures with me.

                I bet your horse would be happy with the same with you.

                Your lease rider is just trying to guilt you into being able to keep riding your horse. She would likely lose face if she suddenly doesn't have a nice horse to ride and can't be around the glitz and glamour of horse shoes. People who lease horses KNOW that at any time, ANY time, that lease can end. They don't go into a lease thinking otherwise. Yes she may have contributed a lot to the horse's training, but if she was all that worried about keeping her investment, she should have purchased her own horse.

                Comment

                • #48
                  I am voting with those suggesting you move him asap - as soon as the 30 days notification has ended. The leaser's nastiness and refusal to pay for routine maintenance costs and unexpected vet costs sends up huge red flags. This is not a nice person, even though she has treated your horse well.

                  Please keep us updated - I worry for the horse and you. People can be real loose cannons when the world isn't going their way.

                  Moving asap means you will no longer have this person's drama simmering in your life. The element of unknown of what she might do would be keeping me up at night. It might be all fine - but not knowing and have such a manipulative, toxic person to deal with leaves me running for the hills. Your horse's welfare is too important.

                  This person is not good; do not engage. Taking the high road can be done with simple phrases and a soft demeanor.

                  Comment

                  • #49
                    Be careful, that if she wants to show him this last month... that she does bring him back to the barn... weirder things have happened...
                    But you are totally in the right, your horse, your decision... maybe try to be present if you know she will show him in the next weeks....
                    Let us know.

                    Comment

                    • #50
                      I think you got this one. I would plan on moving at the end of June, because you are a good person and want to give the STABLE 30 days notice, as of June 1. As you suspect, if she doesn't contribute to the June board, the instant she doesn't do that, or says she won't do that, even, you drive down there and pick up your horse. If she tells you she isn't doing that beforre the first, pick him up right then and hand over the full board check for June to the barn manager then. She's broken the lease, in which she agrees to pay half board.

                      If she says she will pay the half board, but doesn't, as soon as you know this, then drive down with a trailer, hand over the other half of the board to the BM with a smile and apology for your leaser, load up and go.

                      When you are at the barn, you be all smiles, and kind and polite and nice, happy, and open. You may be a breath of fresh air compared to her, you know. You don't have to tell anyone the story, just "Oh, no, the lease is ending. We're going home to my new barn, aren't we, poopsie!" load him and his things (not her things) up and go.

                      If you see her, which you may not, just be grim, pleasant, and say thank you so much for taking such good care of my boy all this time. I hope you had a wonderful time with him. I'm sure you'll find a wonderful new lease. It really was great, for both of us. Come on, baby, we're going home!
                      My warmbloods have actually drunk mulled wine in the past. Not today though. A drunk warmblood is a surly warmblood. - WildandWickedWarmbloods

                      Comment

                      • #51
                        As a note, unless the contract states otherwise, I would not let her remove the horse from the property this last month. No shows. No trail rides. Too much risk.
                        "Je suis Pony Owner."

                        Comment

                        • #52
                          As it is coming to the end of the month, I am in the camp of "go get your horse now". Pay the board for June with your 30 day notice, load up the horse, tack, etc, and terminate the lease immediately.

                          Lessee has had a sweet situation for years. I don't know what your lease agreement says, as far as ending the lease, but I would not be concerned about ending the lease immediately. You are entitled to enjoy YOUR HORSE as you wish. No explanation, rationalization, discussion, DRAMA needed.

                          Maybe I'm a meanie, since I am saying terminate the lease without a 30 day notice. But I would not be able to trust a person like that. Someone told me once, "If it feels like you're being manipulated, you ARE." Don't give her the chance.
                          "When I look back on my life, the times I have been stingy or unappreciative haunt me. I don't regret one instance of generosity." --PeteyPie

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster
                            #53
                            The contract states that showing is at my discretion, and none are planned for the near future. I have every intention of giving notice June 1st. The barn owners are great people, if she stiffs me for her share of June, I will pay it. The horse is ultimately mine and totally my responsibility. I will, however, tell them.

                            Comment

                            • #54
                              If she stiffs you for June, will the barn owner let you move early? You could ask.

                              Comment

                              • #55
                                As long as she pays for June, even if its all herself, she's given 30 days notice. Once you give 30 days notice, you don't have to actually STAY there. Just pay for it. Easy peasy.
                                My warmbloods have actually drunk mulled wine in the past. Not today though. A drunk warmblood is a surly warmblood. - WildandWickedWarmbloods

                                Comment

                                • #56
                                  Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
                                  The contract states that showing is at my discretion, and none are planned for the near future. I have every intention of giving notice June 1st. The barn owners are great people, if she stiffs me for her share of June, I will pay it. The horse is ultimately mine and totally my responsibility. I will, however, tell them.
                                  You are an honorable person and deserve to be treated better than your leaser has done. But taking the high road now almost always pays off in the end, in peace of mind if nothing else.
                                  "I am in favor of keeping Air Force One and cancelling Trump." ~ Borowitz

                                  Comment

                                  • #57
                                    Yeah, I wouldn't engage her at all. Just tell her you're terminating the lease, then take your pony and enjoy him. The end.

                                    Comment

                                    • #58
                                      Definitely don't argue or explain. Those give her a signal that she could change your mind if she argues back. It sounds like she's had a nice deal (I wish the horses I'd leased had been that much of a bargain!), but the down side of leasing for her is that you have the right to terminate the lease.

                                      Your horse won't care if all he ever does is stand in a field, as long as he's fed and cared for. Don't feel guilty about wasted potential. Bring him where you can enjoy him.
                                      www.kentuckysidesaddle.com

                                      Comment

                                      • #59
                                        Does your lease include a clause about who determines where the horse will be kept? Who has signed the boarding contract for the horse?

                                        You could leave it up to HER to end the lease by just informing her that you're relocating the horse, allowed per the contract. If you did not sign the boarding agreement, I don't know what your responsibilities are to the barn, if any.

                                        Comment

                                        • #60
                                          It would not be fair to the BO to be stiffed on June board. Presumably, the BO has been doing the work/care that is paid for, so no issue with BO. And no need to be anything less than ethical, courteous and professional with the BO.

                                          The issue is with the lessee--- who can be informed that the lease is ending in a similar courteous and professional manner. IMO, of course.
                                          "When I look back on my life, the times I have been stingy or unappreciative haunt me. I don't regret one instance of generosity." --PeteyPie

                                          Comment

                                          Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 13 32 Next
                                          Working...
                                          X