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Half Lease gone a bit bonkers...

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  • #21
    Um, yeah. He's your horse. You want him closer? You move him closer. She gets over it and buys her own horse. This seems like a no brainer to me.

    She sounds like an entitled brat who's spent too much time running over you. Stand up for yourself.

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      #22
      I am glad my feelings of being manipulated and used are not misplaced.

      And Prime Time Rider - I have been paying 100% of the shoeing and vet bills. I WISH she had paid half, lol.

      Comment


      • #23
        Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
        I am glad my feelings of being manipulated and used are not misplaced.

        And Prime Time Rider - I have been paying 100% of the shoeing and vet bills. I WISH she had paid half, lol.
        Well hot D*mn, I wish I'd been leasing your horse. Color me snarky as well.
        Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
        Incredible Invisible

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        • #24
          Yuck, she sucks. End the lease and move him. If you are so inclined, find another person to lease the horse. Preferably someone a little less ungrateful.

          Comment


          • #25
            Count me in with the end the lease and move your horse. But be ready for the emotional fireworks.
            You are completely in the right on this one.

            Comment


            • #26
              OH Boy is little young or little old leaser a lucky cookie. She found a nice horse, a nice owner, and some nice facilities to work from.

              Now circumstances have changed, and she gets a tad bit nasty, can't blame her for trying.

              It's your horse, thank her for "all "she has done, and go where you wish with him.
              Some riders change their horse, they change their saddle, they change their teacher; they never change themselves.

              Remember the horse does all the work, we just sit there and look pretty.

              Comment

              • Original Poster

                #27
                Should I respond to the accusations and fireworks, or just say "sorry, my decision is made"? I feel like I should respond to the nonsense, but by the same token, I want to be the adult here :/

                Comment


                • #28
                  Um...you moved two hours away, each way. It's your horse.

                  What was your question?

                  You need to get him out of there sooner then later. Think of the emotional steps a couple go through when breaking up. First is denial and refusing to accept it. Then comes wanting to be done with it, never see them again, just get out. Then they get angry and finally they get even.

                  Get the horse out in the next month before she gets to the anger/get even stage. Do you have a written contract? Even if not, give her thirty days notice to be fair-she may want out earlier then that. Which would be ideal.

                  End of the month is coming up, so is June board which you may need to cover if that contract requires 30 days and she wants out now. Time to decide, don't drag it out and do communicate what you are doing with that barn owner.

                  I still don't get why she's mad because you moved to persue your career and want to have your horse closer. Trust me, the horse could not care less. Have yet to see a row of ribbons around a stall put up by a horse but have seen them out up by riders who then see the horse try to eat them. That should tell you something.
                  When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                  The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

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                  • Original Poster

                    #29
                    There is a contract, 30 days notice on both sides. I am fully prepared she will not pay for June. And that's ok.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
                      Should I respond to the accusations and fireworks, or just say "sorry, my decision is made"? I feel like I should respond to the nonsense, but by the same token, I want to be the adult here :/
                      Do NOT respond in any way to any accusations or drama this woman throws at you. Be calm, cool, and businesslike and just say, "My decision is made. There is no need for us to discuss this further." Then disengage from the conversation. If you're on the phone with her say, "Sorry, I've got to go now" and hang up. If you're face-to-face, just say, "Sorry, I've got to go now," and walk away.

                      This woman has been taking advantage of you for a long time. She is not a nice person. You don't owe her anything, and do not apologize or use the word "sorry" in any of your conversations with her.
                      "Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything
                      that's even remotely true."

                      Homer Simpson

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Yes end the lease.

                        I am shaking my head over you paying for the shoes when it was her who wanted him shod and you paying for the vet fee that she wanted called.

                        No wonder she is angry. I bet she won't find another owner to pay all that for her next time.
                        It is better to ride 5 minutes a day than it is to ride 35 minutes on a Sunday.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          Originally posted by NotCreativeAtAll View Post
                          Should I respond to the accusations and fireworks, or just say "sorry, my decision is made"? I feel like I should respond to the nonsense, but by the same token, I want to be the adult here :/
                          I would not get into any of that. I would say something like: I have put a lot of thought into this and my decision has been made. As you may know, my circumstances have changed and I have decided that I no longer need to lease him and am going to ride him myself now.
                          If she makes any accusations, I would only elaborate with: I suppose I thought that the lease was mutually beneficial for both of us as I didn't hear any complaints at the time and of course you could have ended the lease with X notice. It is all water under the bridge now as I am living two hours away now and do not need to lease him any longer. I wish you the best and hope you can find another situation that will work for you.

                          Let go of the guilt associated with the showing, etc. I seriously doubt horses understand it or care. Enjoy your horse. Maybe at some point you'll want to find another half lessee, but I would never feel guilty about a horse living up to his potential. If he is happy and healthy, then that is what matters to the horse.

                          As a half lessee, you have no responsibility besides paying what you've agreed to pay. Had he been injured or needed surgery, bet she would have terminated the lease. However, you also have no control when you do not own the horse. Don't give her any control that she doesn't have. I half leased several horses, and I bought one when I was ready for and wanted control. You can't have it both ways. We would all be leasing instead of owning if we could decide where the horse would live, etc. I wouldn't continue leasing with her under any circumstances because she clearly doesn't understand how it works.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            1. She sounds hideous. Why do you even factor in what this woman wants as far as YOUR horse goes.

                            2. Your horse doesn't care if he is a big winner at a fancy show barn or a pasture puff at a modest barn. As long as he is getting good care all is well, as far as he's concerned. Horses have no ego.

                            This wouldn't be a hard decision for me at all. In fact, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Move your horse to where you can enjoy him. Tell your leaser that her almost free ride is over.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              Move the horse ASAP. Don't respond to her hysterics.

                              I'm with those who say, I've thought about this a long time and this is what I have decided.

                              You don't actually owe her any explanation other than, I'd like my horse to be closer to me.

                              Good luck! Once he's in a new barn you'll feel a huge weight lift off you!
                              Equine Ink - My soapbox for equestrian writings & reviews.
                              EquestrianHow2 - Operating instructions for your horse.

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                No need to respond with anything other than "lease is terminated, horse will be moving to facility of my choice on such date."

                                Of course she is trying to hold on to the horse. After all she has lots of time and money invested, as well as emotional attachment.

                                Actually I would be the bigger person and add "I am so glad you enjoyed leasing my horse so much and thank you for taking good care of him over the years." (Or something to that effect, acknowledging that yes, of course she got attached to him and is upset at losing him etc.)
                                "When life gives you scurvy, make lemonade."

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  Just say you want him closer to your new home and no longer need a lease partner.

                                  Repeat that if she argues. And I would not really even say "I am sorry". No you're not and there is no need to apologize for your situation improving and following the termination of lease procedures outlined in the contract she signed.
                                  When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                  The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    Originally posted by NoSuchPerson View Post
                                    Do NOT respond in any way to any accusations or drama this woman throws at you. Be calm, cool, and businesslike and just say, "My decision is made. There is no need for us to discuss this further." Then disengage from the conversation. If you're on the phone with her say, "Sorry, I've got to go now" and hang up. If you're face-to-face, just say, "Sorry, I've got to go now," and walk away.

                                    This woman has been taking advantage of you for a long time. She is not a nice person. You don't owe her anything, and do not apologize or use the word "sorry" in any of your conversations with her.
                                    This exactly. You said you are fully prepared for her to not pay for June...if I were you, I'd move him at the end of May since he is 2 hours away from you and this is not going to end well with leasee - not sure what type of boarding contract you're currently in, etc., but if possible, that is what I'd do.

                                    Rehashing the past - every penny spent by either party, every compromise made, etc. is not going to change anything...the woman had a sweet deal, it is now ending and no matter what you say, she is not going to be happy about it.
                                    JB-Infinity Farm
                                    www.infinitehorses.com

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster

                                      #38
                                      I am feeling much better and much more empowered. Thank you!

                                      I am not going to engage her. More conversation leads to more justification on her part and I have decided. Lol stll! While she is a bully and selfish, she did treat him like gold, one of the reasons I've hung in for so long. SuzieQ....he was slightly off for about a week and it was a crisis. I grew up in a very rural area, where vet care was scarce, and while I would NEVER begrudge the boy vet treatment he needed, I would have waited a bit more before demanding the vet do complete work ups. At one point she was asking me to send him for a $900 MRI or whatnot. It was a stone bruise. 3 weeks hand walking and sound as a dollar.

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        I didn't think you would begrudge him a vet bill if he needed it, but like most horse owners I would have presumed waiting like you said and getting a farrier to check for a stone bruise.

                                        Asking for a $900.00 MRI right off the bat and not paying for it shows what she is really like.

                                        Most leases say if the horse goes lame on your watch then you pay for it. Not the owner.

                                        It sounds like the horse has been wonderfully trained for you, so you have not lost.
                                        It is better to ride 5 minutes a day than it is to ride 35 minutes on a Sunday.

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          You dont need to give her reasons - just give notice- but just the fact that you now live 2 hours away should be ample reason for you to say- sorry ENOUGH- this arrangement no longer works for me. period. Four hour round trip once a week to ride your horse that you also pay part board etc. NOOO. She has had a very good deal -basically a free horse plus owner pays part board,etc. wow. Dont let her make you feel guilty. She has had a good deal and if she disagrees with that then she should not mind you ending it.
                                          Last edited by Crockpot; May. 24, 2015, 11:45 AM.

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