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Inappropriate Undergarments for Riding: Let's Discuss

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  • Inappropriate Undergarments for Riding: Let's Discuss

    Been a while since there has been a good underwear thread.

    I don’t recommend riding in a nursing bra. They are designed for access, not support and in the case of accidental breach, things can get ugly quick. For those of you not acquainted with this particular piece of attire, it’s an industrial built garment (think Soviet Union, 1956) with little doors for, well, ‘easy entree.’ Put another way, they don’t come in leopard print, honey.

    As I am nursing my youngest child, and riding is something that happens when the stars of child care, wakefulness and temps above zero align, it had never occurred to me to waste any of that precious, narrow window of time to change to riding appropriate under garments. Well, we had a breakout the other day. In the future, I will make time.

    The $700 Pony and I were zooming along in the company of the $70,000 Ponies with whom we humbly reside, when the flap popped open, and a breast decimated by years of nurturing young humans, a breast formerly known as firm, went on the lam!

    While seventeen layers of clothing prevented the mortification that would have gone with a runaway breast in t-shirt weather, it also made recapture of said loose breast particularly difficult. The $700 Pony is a kind soul, but even she thought the activity associated with reestablishing the errant breast to its rightful place was peculiar: “Girlfriend, WHAT is going ON up there?”

    What's YOUR underwear story
    Chronicles of the $700 Pony
    The Further Adventures of the $700 Pony
    www.blithetraveler.com <-- My Blog
  • Original Poster

    #2
    Been a while since there has been a good underwear thread.

    I don’t recommend riding in a nursing bra. They are designed for access, not support and in the case of accidental breach, things can get ugly quick. For those of you not acquainted with this particular piece of attire, it’s an industrial built garment (think Soviet Union, 1956) with little doors for, well, ‘easy entree.’ Put another way, they don’t come in leopard print, honey.

    As I am nursing my youngest child, and riding is something that happens when the stars of child care, wakefulness and temps above zero align, it had never occurred to me to waste any of that precious, narrow window of time to change to riding appropriate under garments. Well, we had a breakout the other day. In the future, I will make time.

    The $700 Pony and I were zooming along in the company of the $70,000 Ponies with whom we humbly reside, when the flap popped open, and a breast decimated by years of nurturing young humans, a breast formerly known as firm, went on the lam!

    While seventeen layers of clothing prevented the mortification that would have gone with a runaway breast in t-shirt weather, it also made recapture of said loose breast particularly difficult. The $700 Pony is a kind soul, but even she thought the activity associated with reestablishing the errant breast to its rightful place was peculiar: “Girlfriend, WHAT is going ON up there?”

    What's YOUR underwear story
    Chronicles of the $700 Pony
    The Further Adventures of the $700 Pony
    www.blithetraveler.com <-- My Blog

    Comment


    • #3


      i dont have any stories like that one. but i can remember being 16 and wearing a regular bra to "show off" what i had while riding and having a boob pop out. luckily i was 16 and had nice firm breasts so it was only my own mortification that looked bad.

      or, i'm sure this has happened to some of us, falling into mud front first and getting "boob-prints". know what i mean? nice muddy outline? thats really embarrasing too

      Comment


      • #4


        I feel your pain. Been there - done that.

        My vote for inappropriate undergarment is thongs. Not just any thongs, but those thongs worn by riders also sporting low rise breeches. Just in case you are not aware, when you are going over a jump, the T of your thong is clearly visible to all of us riding behind you.

        Now I realize that many of you will, quite rightly, defend that you have the ability - and body - to pull off such a fashion statement. However, please keep in mind those of us who no longer can.

        I freely admit that I am a little jealous since I haven't had a small, hard ass for........well let's not think of just how many years. I am now the proud owner of the large white cotton underwear. You know the kind, the ones that nestle somewhere below your sagging boobs and are manufactured by the same people who make the cover for the Goodyear blimp. But I wear them with pride.

        So again, if you do wear a thong while riding, please think of the rest of us who no longer sport a hard body, and make certain that your breeches cover your undergarment at all times.
        There is a reason PONY is a four letter word!

        Comment


        • #5
          And isn't it appropriate that my 100th post is about underwear.
          There is a reason PONY is a four letter word!

          Comment


          • #6
            disgusting as it is, i am pretty sure these young girls know their thong is hanging out. i caught my little just 16 year old sister matching her thong to her shirt !

            that is the new style, sadly, as the world gets more and more trashy

            Comment


            • #7
              Just yesterday a student of mine advised me of a nasty little rub she had recieved from her underwear. Told her been there done that...Ouch!!! In all honesty I would rather see a little string hanging out than an inch or so of bright white cotton panties with pantylines and all hanging out, visible for all the world to see. I also prefer (due to the fact that all regular underwear ends up in the crux of my derriere)thongs/g-strings. A tiny little piece of thread or material is much preferable than 4-5 inches of cotton all wedged up there....and picking wedgies is gross!

              Comment


              • #8
                i wear thongs always always. i don't even own full underwear. BUT my thong is never hanging out because i dress appropriately. (no super low-rise breeches and i don't hike my thong up)

                i agree with CA that panty-lines and wedgies are grosser to see. there are these great full supportive underwear called 'barely-there'. or just buy seamless

                Comment


                • #9
                  The right strap on one certain bra I own refuses to stay up. I always say, "I'm going right up to the barn, take the @#$% thing off and throw it in the trash." Then I forget. By the time I'm home, I've forgotten about it. The offending garment continues to elude me in my attempts to cull it from the herd. I am pledging right now, next time, it's GONE!
                  Third Chair in the Viola Clique
                  Founder of the Packrats Anonymous Clique
                  Proud Member of the Dirty Grey Horse Clique
                  http://community.webshots.com/user/pnekman

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Reynard - rather than spending lots of time changing your under attire, you could just get a sports bra to put on over your nursing bra. I don't have the nursing bra problem, but I am rather well endowed in that department. I usually wear a sports bra over a regular one for support... might help in your situation as well.

                    Sorry I don't have any embarassing stories to share (in this particular department, that is ).


                    Comment


                    • #11
                      OMG...Baileygreyhorse...I'm feeling your pain! I have one bra that causes me to look like I'm being visited by demonic possessors when I ride because the left shoulder strap travels. Then goes south. WAY south...to the point of dragging my outer wear with it and then trapping my left elbow at my side, because for some reason once it hits elbow territory it decides *now* is a good time to tighten itself back up! Meanwhile...I'm riding around starting out by hitching one shoulder...then bridging the reins and making fast grabs for that shoulder strap, (which it elludes quite easily), the twisting all over the saddle trying to catch the strap...while horse follows my seat bone movements...resulting in one of those lines as seen in Family Circus comics when Billy goes roaming...ugh, it's not fun to experience or to watch.
                      You jump in the saddle,
                      Hold onto the bridle!
                      Jump in the line!
                      ...Belefonte

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        How about when you're riding in a lesson... with a clinician nonetheless... and your bra comes undone in the back (don't ask me how)
                        My girlies got the workout of their lives that day!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          While breezing T.B's a few yrs bk i wore frt snap bra's it came undone I had a tank top on that day and well there they went Thank god i was 21 and not 33 w/ 3 kids as they were much firmer then they are now...
                          Let the horse go, get out of its way, it knows what to do...Stop pulling and keep kicking!!!!!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I once had my milk let down in the middle of showing a horse. The farm I was riding for needed a rider and I was just coming back from having my baby. Well I had no baby sitter so they said "Bring the tyke along"! I did and everything went fairly well until he started fussing and my body said "Time to nurse NOW"! Ugh I was wearing a nice solid dusty blue turtleneck and it was obvious what happened. I had to excuse myself and slink away in mortification. I can laugh now because that was many years ago.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I was riding in a clinic when my brastraps slipped off my shoulders and he whole bra just sort of slipped down to my waist! Thankfully I as wearing a longsleave shirt and I am NOT well endowed in that area so no one saw. But it did affect my riding since my arms were strapped down, and when the clinician (a man) asked what the problem was and I told him, he laughed and said "I did NOT need to know that!" I replied, "Well, you asked why my arms were all weird and I told you!" Everyone in the clinic got a good laugh out of that one, and it's a good thing I was not easily embarrassed

                              Of course, the most embarrassing part of the whole ordeal was my psychotic TB who thought bronco-bucking and galloping at break-neck speeds was the whole point of the clinic. Let's just say underwear foibles were the LEAST of my problems
                              Is minic a rinne bromach gioblach capall cumasach
                              An awkward colt often becomes a beautiful horse .

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Ah, how I adore T-strapped bras. They come and go in stores, and whenever I find some, I buy out the stock!

                                I once tried to wear a thong while riding...out hunting in January. I wound up with a rub so bad that I got off and walked 2 miles back to the trailer (leading my horse through mud) rather than endure.

                                Sorry, people, but FLOSSING is for TEETH!
                                Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  A few weeks ago I had a bra strap issue in a lesson. The right strap kept falling. Lucky it was turtleneck weather and it was the "Old Farts Riding Lesson" aka Fossils over Fences. I was worried that if a boob got loose I could end up with a black eye or bruised knee. The biggest concern was that the free swinging weight could cause the percheron to lose his balance and topple over in the middle of a grid!

                                  I kept messing up the lines because I was spending the turn making...ah... ahem...adjustments!
                                  F O.B
                                  Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
                                  Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Here's my underwear story:

                                    I was at my very first recognized dressage show riding in the first class of the day. It was fairly warm, but raining cats and dogs. I had on a lightweight white shirt, summer weight white breeches, white bra with matching thong, and my black dressage coat that was fairly long and came down to just below my hip bones. The entire time I was riding, it poured. By the time I was finished competing, I was soaked to the bone. There wasn't a dry spot on me.

                                    As I rode back to our trailer, there was an older gentleman sitting in the trailer next to ours. He was leaning back in his chair reading the newspaper and looked up as I came riding up. When I got to our trailer, it has stopped raining and I was hot as h@ll. As soon as I jumped off, I immediately took off my coat.

                                    I didn't realize anything was up until I heard the gentleman in the other trailer fall over backwards in his chair. When I looked over at him, he was getting to his feet and staring at me with his eyes bugging out of his head. That's when I finally looked down.

                                    OMG! It was like I wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. Because they were sopping wet, my shirt and breeches were almost see-through and you could see everything. And I mean everything. To add insult to injury, I didn't have a change of clothes. The only thing I had to cover up with was a bunch of hand towels from my grooming bag. For the next hour or so until I dried out, I looked like some deranged indian dressage princess with blue hand towels strategically draped around my body.
                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                    If the Number 2 pencil is so popular, why is it still number 2?

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      When I was around 8 years old I was at a little schooling show doing short stirrup. I got off my pony to take her martingale off and on the way down the crotch part of my jods caught on my stirrup iron and ripped right open. I still had to show the flat class part so my trainer gave me her daughters jacket that was about 3 sizes to big for me and I did the entire class hunched over trying to cover myself. Luckily I was so young and was not embarassed to be showing off my cute flower underpants

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Oh, dear. I think I have had the bra strap problem.

                                        The solution to reducing black eyes from escapees flying free (fly free, little booby, fly! Fly!), is a sports bra. Very nice.

                                        I think the thong thing about riding is the reason they were invented at all - attempt at a solution to the panty lines problem.
                                        __________________
                                        Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?

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