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Still Grieving....

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  • #61
    Everyone goes through this. I put my horse down last summer and tonight I am very weepy and emotional about it. Thank goodness I have 2 great friends who have helped me thought this. ((hugs)) to you.


    • Original Poster

      Thanks to everyone for sharing your feelings and well wishes. I know I have a long road ahead of me, and it helps to know that others understand.

      We should have a "grief support group" or thread on here...
      In loving memory of Chutney (1977 - 2008)


      • #63
        Kim, we already are a support group.

        We understand each other's pain, and know if you need to talk about it, we're willing to listen.

        Grief is a journey that we all eventually take, and it's easier if we have someone to help us while we're travelling that long, dark, bleak road.
        Homeopathy claims water can cure you since it once held medicine. That's like saying you can get sustenance from an empty plate because it once held food.


        • #64
          Gunnar would have been 25 today! Poor boy was born in Jan in Washington. How cold and wet he must have felt! I gazed at some of his photos this AM and they brought a smile instead of a tear!


          Who could not smile at my robust boy!

          See Kim time will heal your wound! I promise it will get better!


          Rerider/Haydunker Clique

          RIP Barbaro, you were my hero!


          • #65
            Kim have you found therapy helpful?

            I've never gone to counseling, being rather introverted, I'd say I talk to my horses more than I talk to a lot of people in general. (I guess I spill my guts online and use the internet for therapy. )

            But I'm thinking it might be worth a shot. I still harbor a tremendous amount of guilt regarding Dan's death... there was nothing anyone could have done to change the outcome but I still somehow feel responsible. I try not to let it weigh on me, as I know it is irrational to some degree, but it is still there.

            I'm glad you started this thread, as clearly there are many of us who are still trying to work through this process. It is nice to know there are others dealing with the same things I am.
            We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.


            • Original Poster

              FlashGordon, yes, I do find it helpful, but I have a ways to go...

              My problem is that I "stuff" all of the feelings so that when I want to cry (e.g., I am alone), I cannot! Maybe I should watch a few tearjerkers?
              In loving memory of Chutney (1977 - 2008)


              • #67
                Originally posted by Kim View Post
                FlashGordon, yes, I do find it helpful, but I have a ways to go...

                My problem is that I "stuff" all of the feelings so that when I want to cry (e.g., I am alone), I cannot! Maybe I should watch a few tearjerkers?
                This happens to me, too - glad I'm not the only one. I've actually turned on the radio in the car a couple of times to start a good cry - nothing like a sappy country ballad to get me crying. (In large part because Rebuff seemed most content with country on the barn radio, so now it reminds me of him.)

                I do seem to cry at 'inopportune' times, which stinks...especially since most of those times are at work. My mother actually calls them "thought bombs" - those things that trigger a sudden crying jag out out of the blue. Ironically, my mother IS a therapist, and she's assured me repeatedly that this is perfectly normal and to just go with it. As many here have said, just escape to the ladies room (or your car, which I personally like) and have a good cry. Then mop up and carry on.
                In memory of Rebuff (1974-2009)

                Rest in peace, my sweet man


                • Original Poster

                  A little update. I rented a few tearjerkers from Netflix and watched one last night. It really got the tears flowing! I started thinking about how much I miss my girl Chutney and it really did feel good to cry. Now I feel like everything is more "at the surface" - I am going to watch another sad movie tonight!

                  Thanks to all of you, again. It means a lot.


                  In loving memory of Chutney (1977 - 2008)


                  • #69
                    Of course, cry. And cry as much as you need.

                    You should never feel guilty or sorry for grieving over the loss of a loved one. But nothing ever takes away that love. Your horse may be gone, but the love you had for him is always, always there.
                    a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues