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Do I need a mare?

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  • Do I need a mare?

    Is it wrong to want to sell a perfectly good gelding because he doesn't "connect" with me like a mare?
    I have 5 horses, 4 are mares or fillies and one is a gelding. 2 of the fillies are too young to ride, one mare is my husbands, and one mare is a broodie. The gelding is my riding horse.
    He is 17H, a former steeplechaser, very athletic, never says "No", is not very educated yet, but always tries. Lovely to hack out, although he hyperventilates when he sees cows. He is a horrific weaver but is out 24/7 so it's not too big of a deal. It does annoy me that I can't put him in a stall for 5 minutes without the potential for triggering an anxiety attack He is a lot of fun to ride. So, really he is lovely. But he is not like the girls. He doesn't check me over to make sure I'm all right just to make sure. If something worrying is going on, he doesn't look at me to see if I'm OK with it, either for direction or to make sure *I'm" not upset. He's a lovely horse, but he is such a *gelding*. Will do anything I ask. But I have to ask. Doesn't read my mind. Only suggests things *he* wants to do, not something he thinks *I* might want to do (as weird as that sounds)
    When I bought him, I wanted to learn to do some low level eventing, then sell him in 2 years when one of the fillies was ready to ride. Now my husband wants to ride that filly when she is ready and it looks like it is going to be 4 years until the next one will be ready for me.
    I just can't see going 4 years without the extra connection I have with the girls. Maybe it's not a girl thing and it's just him .
    The other consideration is that I think he has a lot of potential that will be wasted with me. He's 9, has had only 2 years of real work in all that time. I've had him for a year.
    So is it weird to want to trade in a perfectly lovely gelding because there is nothing special in the connection? Not to say that I'd find any takers in this market....
    Last edited by Stacie; Dec. 30, 2008, 07:17 PM.
    "The mighty oak is a nut who stood its ground"

    "...you'll never win Olympic gold by shaking a carrot stick at a warmblood..." see u at x

  • #2
    I love mares (except occasionally, as described in my recent "dragon mare" thread!). But really, in general, they have such personalities, and spunkiness and attitude (in a good way). I think I'll always stick with mares.

    Sounds like your boy would be saleable to someone who could get a lot more out of him?

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    • #3
      I love my mares. I trained a gelding for someone earlier this year and just could not see why, perfectly nice horse that he was; anyone would want to ride a gelding over a mare. My girls and I are connected in ways that I never have been with a gelding.

      When my first foal was born, I held my breath hoping for a girl and for just a sec, thought it was a boy after all... I was positively giddy when we were sure she had no boy bits!

      Your guy sounds great, try a swap for him over on ewarmbloods.net, you might find a person will to trade a bit greener girl for a well started gelding that can go out and do things tomorrow.
      www.hawkstracefarm.com Home of Doodles, Gabby, and Maggie, and resting place of Lexi the wonder horse!

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      • #4
        Strange, I've always found geldings to have more personality. Seems like you just don't connect. Look for another horse, but I wouldn't neccesarily rule out another geldings. They can be wonderful!

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        • Original Poster

          #5
          Originally posted by SandyHTF View Post
          Your guy sounds great, try a swap for him over on ewarmbloods.net
          ewarmbloods.net scares me. It's like computer virus central over there
          But the suggestion that a swap might work is helpful. Thanks!
          "The mighty oak is a nut who stood its ground"

          "...you'll never win Olympic gold by shaking a carrot stick at a warmblood..." see u at x

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Stacie View Post
            Is it wrong to want to sell a perfectly good gelding because he doesn't "connect" with me like a mare?
            I think that mental connection is critical, so no, I wouldn't say it's wrong. I'd feel guilty about it in the same way I felt guilty about breaking up with my perfectly nice but otherwise unremarkable fiance and marrying the man who makes my heart soar.

            Sure, you'll probably feel guilty, but I'm all for going on gut instinct!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by kcmel View Post
              Strange, I've always found geldings to have more personality. Seems like you just don't connect. Look for another horse, but I wouldn't neccesarily rule out another geldings. They can be wonderful!
              I agree. It was usually the mares we couldn't wait to get rid of. I think it isn't really a mare/gelding thing but just an individual horse personality thing - some you mesh with and some you don't. It happens, don't feel guilty, sell him to someone who loves him for himself and find yourself a new horse.

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              • #8
                I got my CB/Trak cross in a great swap from a person who just preferred the boys. She's a very good rider, a lot further up the levels than I am, but just preferred the boys. And I had a colt who was the best stallion prospect I've ever bred, but even if I didn't just prefer mares myself (more personality, in my experience), I also didn't have the facility to keep a stallion. I knew I would have to geld him soon and was just hating to.

                And then my trainer called one night. A few weeks later, the lady met the colt, I rode her mare at the trainer's, and all were well satisfied. My progress with the mare got sidetracked with injury and family, now about to restart work with her, but the colt I traded is the most gorgeous gentleman, doing wonderfully with her, and still a stallion.

                There is nothing wrong in having a preference, or in letting go of a nice horse who just doesn't quite totally match with you.

                I'd look into the swap possibilities. Get the word out among everyone you know. You never know who is out there right now saying, "I WISH she were a gelding."

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                • Original Poster

                  #9
                  Originally posted by dressagetraks View Post
                  I got my CB/Trak cross in a great swap from a person who just preferred the boys.
                  Something like that would be sweet. I loff the big girls

                  3 years ago I bought a big pregnant Han/Tb to rehab. Just fell in love with her. She couldn't be rehabbed and is permanently unsound. Couldn't part with her. Just couldn't. She's well bred, and a wonderful mother, so now she's a broodie. Both the young fillies are hers and so I wonder about that whole connection thing... They are just so *there*, even the 8 month old.
                  "The mighty oak is a nut who stood its ground"

                  "...you'll never win Olympic gold by shaking a carrot stick at a warmblood..." see u at x

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yes, you do need a mare

                    Most of the horses that I have felt close to have been mares. I'm hacking this cute little Connemara gelding though who is a fun guy, though. Mostly what goes through my head though is "I wonder if I could breed my mare to him after college and hopefully get a filly like him?"

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                    • #11
                      I don't think the issue here is a mare or gelding problem. All horses have different personalities.
                      I never wanted a mare but somehow ended up with one and I am more certain than ever that I prefer geldings. I love my mare, but she can be bitchy and goes into heat at the most inappropriate times (in the summer her heats coincide with her farrier schedule) ugh. There was a time when she would kick out at people just for looking at her funny. However, over time we have developed a really good relationship with each other. I don't think it's because of her gender.
                      Most geldings I've known have been much more levelheaded, maybe it's the lack of hormones or something.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Amchara View Post
                        Yes, you do need a mare

                        Most of the horses that I have felt close to have been mares. I'm hacking this cute little Connemara gelding though who is a fun guy, though. Mostly what goes through my head though is "I wonder if I could breed my mare to him after college and hopefully get a filly like him?"
                        That's unlikely if he really is a gelding like you said.

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