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My parents are trying to kick me out and sell the horses, small update pg 15

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  • Originally posted by clearlyanalter:
    How does one go about selling a horse that had EPM but now is about 95% recovered and the vet says he should go back to where he was when he got sick, jumping courses, doing changes, showing, etc
    Your vet is the best to ask about his abilities. How quiet is he? He might be a person's great first horse. Under a good trainer, many people get a horse that have "special needs", but take care of that new rider's special needs too.
    RIP Bo, the real Appassionato
    5/5/84-7/12/08

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    • Originally posted by Weebonilass:
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by nhwr:
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I never expected my parents to support me and my horses. I guess it means nothing that i keep saying that I pay for all that the horses need.

      No 23 year old working at Target can support herself and 8 horses on this planet. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>



      That's what I've been having trouble getting around. I make alot more than that and I barely have the funds to support one.. of course, he gets a few extras since he's the only one. I have a free mare waiting for me up in Indiana, but that's the easy part. The hard part would be doing right by her. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

      If you read the OP's original post closely, you'd realize she doesn't have 8 horses to support, she only owns 3 of them. Her father owns the other 5. She's simply been caring for and partially financially supporting those 5, but she doesn't own them and isn't responsible for them.

      You'd also realize that she's not trying to support herself and her horses on her Target salary. She also teaches riding as a business.

      For those who seem to think she's a freeloader, she's been helping to support and caring for her father's 5 horses. Plus she's been paying room & board for herself. She's in a business deal with her parents and, like so many business deals with parents who offer you a "great deal" so they can control your personal life, it's gone sour.

      When the OP leaves, she will lose the responsibility for 5 of the horses. She thinks of them as hers and is concerned about them, but legally they are her parent's responsibility and her parents will have to either pay somebody else to care for them or sell them.

      And, for those of you who seem to think it's her mother's farm, don't be so sure. It is more likely her father's farm, or at least in both their names. Since her father is going to be losing support and care for his 5 horses, she needs to sit down with him and plan for that part of the transition.

      And she needs to look at her 3 horses, determine which can help earn its keep, which can be sold to help jumpstart her out of this situation, etc.

      And for those of you harping on her for coming to the board and complaining about her mother, do try to remember that she has remained anonymous. So what if she complains about her mother? Where is a law written that you can't bitch and moan about an anonymous somebody that is jerking you around. And sorry all you good moms out there, but even mothers can be jerks.

      Comment


      • Bible Thumper! Need to take a scholarly look at the Bible before you can open your mouth about it anything at all! I"m re-visioning it now. Opps! Nuff said!

        (((((hugs))))) to Clearlyanalter and the others who need hugs and support from us on Coth!
        Will get a dream horse!
        More riding, swimming, and rowing, less posting

        Comment


        • I second that, mairzeadoats.

          And Adamantane, you made my point in a much more eloquent fashion. Thank you.
          "Riding: the art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground."

          ~Horsebiters Clique Founder~Drafties~The A Team~Anti-Kohlrahbi Proliferation Group~Elite Closet Canterer...by proxy~

          Comment


          • You know the OP came here looking for advice about her future. Her description was a bit convoluted but it is my understanding that she wanted to make a plan to care for 8 horses. If it is only 3 horses, does that really change things? How can she support herself, develop a business and support 3 horses with no resources? The math just doesn't work. This is simply unrealistic given her current circumstances. How does help her to encourage her to be unrealistic? Warm and fuzzies might make her feel better but they don't solve her problems.

            This is a complex situation. No one has called her a freeloader. I don't think she is. I do think she is an unwitting accomplis to her parents' attempts to manipulate her. She is an adult, not a child or a teenager. She needs to wake up and smell the coffee, IMO. Her parents, not just her mother, sound like first class @-holes to me. But again, a reality check reveals they are supporting her adult-self financially. They aren't doing anything illegal. They own the property, they have the right to say how they want to live on their own property that they paid for. Reality- the ones who pay the piper call the tune.

            The past is the best predictor of their future behavior. OP has 2 choices IMO, take it or leave it. I think the healthier choice would be to leave it entirely.
            See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

            Comment


            • I think that all of us, when faced with a life-altering decision all see the worst case scenario. In this case, it would be having to sell all of her horses (or her parents selling them out from under her) and having no place to live. The first reaction is panic. I know; I've been there. I belive the OP came to the board in a panic, and was hoping to recive options that were not the worse case scenario. I belive she received that in about 10-20% of the posts.
              nhwr, you have to admit, emotionally, warm and fuzzies do help us. To know others care makes us stronger, and helps us find the strength to face what we need to, to move forward. So, Clearlyanalter, I'm sending you all the warm and fuzzies I can to help you face what you have to in order to move forward.
              BTW, from my understanding, some of the horses are part and parcel to building her business. Can't several be used for lesson horses?
              "Riding: the art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground."

              ~Horsebiters Clique Founder~Drafties~The A Team~Anti-Kohlrahbi Proliferation Group~Elite Closet Canterer...by proxy~

              Comment


              • N4S

                I think warm and fuzzies help to make people comfortable and maintain the status quo. People generally resist change, especially if they are comfortable.

                Sorry but I have seen too many "horse welfare mothers" to encourage a young person without means to try to find away to keep multiple horses.
                See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

                Comment


                • NHWR, while nobody came out and specifically called the OP a freeloader, several people in this thread have very strongly implied it.

                  The OP's original post was a bit hard to decipher, but she only owns 3 horses.

                  She asked whether she has any rights over 5 horses that she has contributed to the support of and cared for, but isn't the owner of. However much she's done for those horses or loves them, she does not own them so has no final say over whether they're sold or not. She only owns 3 horses, and those are the only horses that she has to sell, give away, or support.

                  Comment


                  • I just came into this and it might allready of been posted but, me being a minor (under 18) I can understand the whole "can sell horse without your permission" thing. As you are 23, and not 16 or younger, you legally have the rights to the three horses. I don't know about the other 5 though. I am sure you can find someone woh would trade board for work or something, or even a free lease pasture in excahnge for the horses "mowing" it would work as a short term thing, while you look for places more for a riding aspect.

                    Well, thats all I have to say. The few pages I saw were more for hugs and support, which I fully support you too.
                    ----------------------------------
                    I Am A Iron Tiger (aka Codi)
                    2004 15.3 Grullo QH Gelding

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