• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

Am I losing my love for horses????? :-(

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #21
    I agree with Emryss. Horse things are coming a bit too easy for you so you don't appreciate them enough.

    Quit the drugs. You'd be surprised how much your drive and motivation will increase, especially if it's something hardcore you're doing.
    **Member of the Ocularly Challenged Equine Support Group**

    Comment


    • #22
      <span class="ev_code_RED">Eqtrainer--don't be cruel.</span>

      This breaks my heart--and I'm going to PRAY for you Altername2. You can SEE the direction you are going; feet that are walking South, can certainly walk NORTH. TURN AROUND. I BEG you, with tears in my eyes, please reach out to SOMEONE for help!

      I have a beautiful 20 year old daughter who three years ago was well on her way to having her college education, membership to a very nice sorority, living with her best friends in the world, on her own in one of the coolest little cities in Kansas........

      ....and now she's in a flophouse somewhere here in Salina, probably stoned out of her mind. She's rail thin, unhealthy looking and totally hating herself because she *knows* she's thrown away a very everything she ever wanted.

      And I have to stand by and ALLOW her to fall. Twice we have brought her back home, only to have her bring her drugs into our home and expose her 13 year old sister to this ugliness. It's getting COLD now, and the place where she sleeps has no heat, bugs and rats, and she seldom has food. I don't sleep much these days.

      Altername2, PLEASE, I BEG you, for the love of your parents, think hard about what you are doing to yourself, your future, your family. Getting high with your friends may seem like the only time you have fun, but LIFE has so much more to offer when you are clear-headed, healthy, strong and sane. Drugs are NOT your friend and every good feeling they offer is counterfeit, just death in a happy-face mask! I wish I could post 'before' and 'after' pictures of my daughter. You would see what 3 short years of booze, grass, and methanphetimine have done to my beautiful girl.

      I'm really PRAYING for you now....

      Comment


      • #23
        Of course...only stating the obvious...but drugs are illegal.

        Want to know how bad you would miss your horse....spend about 6 months in jail.

        Cruel but true reality. Please get some help.

        Elizabeth
        Member of the OTTB Clique, Re-Riders Clique and the Thread Killer Clique.

        http://community.webshots.com/user/esimison

        Comment


        • #24
          You have a PT, Alternamen2. Please check it and take it to heart, as there are those of us here that understand more than you think.
          Here today, gone tomorrow...

          Comment


          • #25
            and I apologize on behalf of those who have quite obviously never struggled through the horrors of addiction. Some of these replies are extremely discomopassionate and heartless. I hope you take them with a grain of salt and take the important, helpful ones to heart. I'm praying for you.
            Here today, gone tomorrow...

            Comment


            • #26
              omg, i totally went through this same thing and am now looking back on it from the ripe old age of 29.
              Except I was 16 when my mom GAVE my beloved horse to the BO because I was suddenly disinterested. I still cry to this day that I was so foolish to be more interested in boys and going out and partying.
              I've lived in fun cities, done lots of drugs, gone to lots of parties and for me, err...odd to say this but when I got back into horses it was like finding god. I'm not really religious but the analogy is apt.

              It's not true that you only regret things are the things you don't do...it's the things you lose. I can't believe now that I've wasted over ten years of riding, lost the horse I loved more than any guy I've ever been with...current one excepted of course...

              not to mention the fact that I'm f*cked careerwise but that's a whole other stupid story relating to not focusing on what is important when I should have. Which is at your age! Seriously.

              Comment


              • #27
                I really feel badly for you because I know what you'll have to go through in your immediate future.

                You'll stick with the drugs because they're addictive and it's hard, hard, hard to break an addiction. (Yep, I mean you're now addicted.)

                If you're very lucky, something will happen to you that won't be fatal, but will clearly show you what you're doing to yourself--like maybe you'll wake up in some sleazy hotel/motel with two guys you wouldn't speak to on the street if you were straight. Or worse. But the incident will be good in that it will get your attention, and then you'll finally realize you can't break your addiction by yourself, & eventually you'll find some help. If you're luckier than you have any right to be, you'll be able to quit then, but AA, which has the highest success rate, only manages to save 50% of the people who go to them.

                You have to hit bottom, kiddo, before you'll want to quit the drugs. I hope your particular bottom isn't very far down, and I hope you'll be able to kick this killer before it's too late.

                It makes me very sad that one of our sisterhood is hooked. Blessings to you. I hope you get out in time.

                Comment


                • #28
                  Well. If you are too high to appreciate your horse, send her my way

                  Seriously, if you have to ask that question, you obviously have a very serious problem that is quite far progressed. Drugs will benefit you nothing at all in the long run, and will only ruin your life and everyone that loves you.

                  Doesn't get much more selfish than that!

                  sXe here
                  Erin and
                  Instant Karma "Sunny", ShineDown "Liam"

                  "You can't control the wind, but you can adjust the sails."

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    Seen first hand what can happen when drugs or alcohol become your sole reason for living...when every thought you have is about getting more of them.

                    Get help and take control of your life instead of letting these substances rule your every thought.

                    You aren't losing your love for horses, it's being eclipsed by the drug's hold over you. The drugs will encompass your every thought, drive your friends away and drive you out of the barn.

                    Your school has confidential help available...and you are certainly not alone, Many have been or are where you are now.

                    Please do not end up like my closest friend for 20 years did...dying waiting for a liver transplant as a ward of the state. Alone. She was so out of it they were unable to contact anybody until after she died and they searched her things.
                    She had it all. Money. Brains. Good looks.

                    Don't go there.
                    When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                    The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      Get professional help. My brother died of a drug overdose. My biggest regret is that by the time my family realized that he was so heavily into drugs, he was too old for my parents to commit him to a treatment facility.

                      It was not just himself that he hurt. He OD'd a few days short of his 42nd birthday. By then, he had two wives, a daughter, step-daughter, my parents and me. We all suffered.

                      Get help now before it is too late. Talk to your school counselors, talk to your parents. Do not pass go. Get into a residential treatment program.

                      When you get out, run from anyone who you have used drugs with before. They will suck you back into the muck.

                      This sounds harsh, but it is the only way to save yourself.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        I forgot to add. In retrospect, I think that my brother was self-medicating himself for depression (or some other condition). If you get help, you can get medication to make your feel better that will not be addictive and destroy your life.

                        I wish you luck.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          My aunt died last year of a drug overdose, leaving behind a very lonely dog. Think of how much your horse would miss you if the same thing happened to you...
                          \"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.\" - Gandhi

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            I did not plan to return to this topic as I feel the OP has been given the ability to PT me if she doesn't wish to post here again. Either she has gotten help, since she is so obviously desperate, or she is denying the fact that her problem is taking control of the things she loves.
                            Whichever is the case, suffering from and addiction is a serious disease. Regardless of whether you, yourself, buy into that, it has been classified as a disease. Addicts need to be TREATED by professionals- oftened liscensed medical professionals. Most serious addictions require chemical detox treatment, and many, many addicts are lost before they even realize what kind of help is available. It is because of the negative, pompous, self-centered attitudes of some of the posters on this thread that many addicts never seek help, much less acknowledge their use as a problem. The social stigma encouraged by this kind of attitude casts a superior image to those who are simply sick. Addiction is caused by many things, whether it be genetic, or the product of a mental disorder, people that use are AILING. They need help. And it is up to communities to assist one another in getting treatment for their afflictions.
                            Thankfully, there are a growing number of people across the world that come to understand the social responsibility we have to our peers. Were it not for people of strong, loyal, and reliable character like them, most addicts would never make it past denial. We owe it to everyone- especially our fellow equestrians- to offer support. If you don't agree, you don't have to, but please refrain from posting narrow-minded, un-sympathetic words to a friend suffering through an extremely difficult time.
                            Here today, gone tomorrow...

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              OP the reason you don't want to hang out with your horses is you have an addiction. As long as you feel like it is ok to give into that addiction, your life is going to spiral ever downward to the inevitable but unavoidable bottoming out. The thing about that is, you may or may not live through it. It sounds like you have a great life on the surface. What is the underlying issue that makes it so you need to self medicate yourself so you don't have to live that life. I guess those are the things that you need to ask yourself and think about. I had a good friend who I watched (despite going the tough love route and not having her in my life because I didn't want to see her die, tho I knew it was going to happen) die from a prescription pill addiction. Your parents sound very supportive, go and say to them I need help and go to rehab, get it out of your system and get the help you need or you may not get a choice later and your family will have to plan your funeral and not your home from rehab party.

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                The addiction part isn't what gets me - I have a lot of sympathy for those suffering from any sort of sickness, mental or otherwise, because I've been there and know what that's like. No, the part that always bothers me is that they start at all. That goes for my friends to smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. A lifelong friend recently decided to take up smoking, after decades of being a firm and outspoken non-smoker. Last month another friend blew his brains out with a shotgun because of cocaine induced suicidal fantasies. I just don't get it. Why would you *start* a habit that will only hurt yourself and your loved ones in the long run? I don't mean just trying it once, either, because that *generally* doesn't hook you right away depending on the substance - I mean the regular and consistent use. That is probably the most selfish thing in the world except suicide. It's the ultimate 'gotcha' played on your friends, family, and self.

                                Depression isn't something that one can decide whether or not they want. Neither is addiction, but the drugs, alcohol and smokes are. The best medical professionals out there can't cure addiction or depression - the individual has to take SOME step or have some desire to change, or nothing will happen. Once said person has realized that there's any chance that they may have a problem, or that life isn't going quite right, they have the opportunity to either take a step (baby step or big leap) towards help, or go back to the addiction. I have infinite compassion, understanding and support for those who have taken such a step, whether they're winning or losing the battle at the moment. If you realize that you may have a problem and do nothing about it, then yes, that's quite selfish, because you admit you know you're going to crash and don't care who you hurt while doing it.

                                Sorry for the essay. I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I've known so many heartbreaking experiences around these issues... so yes, you're probably right that I don't have a supportive enough attitude. So, to the OP, let me apologize if I have disheartened you, but let me further encourage you to take that small step towards help, and know that there are an endless amount of people who will be ready to give it.

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  I dont think this is areal post. JMHO

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    I'm with you, Al.

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      Would I be out of line asking what drugs you are currently dabbling in?

                                      Speaking as a child of the '60's ("sex, drugs and rock and rock"), there are drugs and there are DRUGS. The second category I would put crack and heroin. The first category would be your pot, cocaine, and a rainbow of pills of different pedigrees.

                                      Most people outgrow the first category (with the possible exception of pot- I know alot of 50 year old ex-hippy attorneys who still smoke the occasional joint) or it is self limiting due to cost.

                                      The second group, the DRUGS, are horribly addictive and a dead end. No one ever has a Life and a Crack Addition (as opposed to the pot smoking professionals). If you are dabbling in the second group I suggest you stop being delusional and get yourself help immediately. I repeat- Crack and Success do not EVER mix (just look at Whitney Houston ).

                                      If on the other hand your issues are with coke, tell your parents about your dilemma and I'm sure that problem will go away pretty quickly. Despite what people say, coke is not that addictive (as distinguished from crack) and unless you are extremely wealthy you probably have not done nearly enough to be addicted. So if your parents take away the money, the coke habit is gone too. Very few college students have enough skills to earn the money to support a really good coke habit.

                                      So- in a nutshell, if you are doing "recreational drugs" (coke, pot, pills) just stop being so immature or responding to peer pressure and stop. And if you are doing DRUGS, get help ASAP. Or you will end up losing more than your love for horses.

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        &gt;&gt; I've tried asking myself which brings me more satisfaction and I simply can't seem to make that decision. I'm in a very weird position.

                                        You're in a position millions have been in. If you wait to get help, the "descision" won't be yours. The very nature of drugs is changing your brain so you BELIEVE they are giving you satisfaction. This is the DRUG putting that in your brain, not what you actually think. If it was totally a choice, why would people live on the streets cold and hungry for this "satisfaction"? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get help while the choice is still possible for you

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          I'm not to sure if this is a troll or not, but I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and tell OP a true story that has impacted many of us.

                                          There is a 19 yr old girl I have watched grow up as I've known the family since I was 17 and I'm now in my mid 30s. Her family owns a barn and has been in the horse business for many years. She grew up riding Arabs and went to nationals yearly. She was a star soccer player and if you saw her you'd wonder why some modeling agency has not discovered her yet as she's stunning. She was also a very good student in school and her future was very, very bright. Folks were sending her horses to train and she loved it. Girl meets boy. Boy introduces girl to drugs. Girl quit riding, grades started to drop and her attitude went from good to bad to ugly. Her body started to show the signs of what pot and meth can do. Parents of the girl put her in rehab numerous times. Took away her car, etc, etc. Girl and the boy started stealing from their family. Girl and boy ended up living on the streets. Girl started hooking for money for drugs. They went from pot to meth to heroine. The downward spiral finally hit the bottom when they killed a woman in a shopping mall, while trying to take her purse. She was run over by the car they were driving as the woman refused to let go of her purse. Girl was so high she had no idea she ran the woman over. Both are incarcerated and are awaiting their trial date. I'm sure she never ever thought this would happen to her or that she didn't have control of her drug addiction. I'm also sure that poor woman who was killed never thought that walking to her car in Walmart parking lot would be the last thing she did. I know what this girl used to be. I know her family and have seen what it's done to them. I can't imagine how the victims family feel. I tell you this b/c it's a true example of harsh reality. One can never say "It won't happen to me" because if you dabble in drugs, yes it can. Please think about your family, your friends as well as yourself. It's not just about you, it's about everyone who loves you too. Folks have given you very good advice here on this board. Please take it.
                                          "Sometimes you just have to shut up and color."

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X