• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Friend asks U2 ship horse who won't load..

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Friend asks U2 ship horse who won't load..

    Without some strong handling. Friend is visibly traumatized by handling (ie: thumping on belly w/leadrope knot, dressage whip on @$$ when he backs into humans, etc.)

    Takes typically 45 minutes or more to get this critter on. And stay on. Backs off FAST and doesn't care who's there. Hence dressage whip.

    Tell me.. Would you ever ship him again for her? I feel like a horsebeater because last time poor friend cried once we got him on. I felt awful. On the one hand I know she needs him shipped occasionally, but on the other I feel that she is upset because of the handling this horse requires to get on. And she's too sweet to say, but I'm suspecting she resents the handling required. And she *will not* discipline him. So either we dont' ship, or I have to get firm.

    WWYD? I'm tempted to tell her now before the need arises again, that I'm uncomfortable shipping her horse. This is complicated by the fact that she pays me WAY too much to do this (I refused the cash but found it in my console when I got home last night). So if I try to be proactive, I don't want to appear unappreciative of the cash. But I'd rather she kept her money and avoided any hard feelings... feelings which I have yet to hear her express. It's just my intuition gnawing at me, and I know her philosophies.

    Minutia, I know. but I appreciate any input. Or diplomatic ways to extricate myself from this. I love this friend and hate feeling torn like I am.

  • #2
    There are commercial haulers. Give her the number of one. If that horse gets hurt, hurts you or hurts your trailer, that would stink.


    • #3
      Can you park your trailer at her place a few weeks before the haul date, and tell her to practice daily? Tell her you'll haul him, gladly, if he loads easily, but otherwise it's not worth it to you to potentially damage your friendship over a few dollars. You don't like to traumatize her, you don't like to whale on her horse, and you don't like the frustration it all brings you.

      I would guess her leaving you "too much" money is her way of acknowledging that her horse is a PITA. She would probably appreciate the opportunity to fix that.


      • #4
        It sounds like you don't mind hauling horse, but you feel bad for friend.

        What friend has are three issues:

        1) she's dependent on others for rides
        2) she has a horse who doesn't load well (probably because he doesn't get much practice)
        3) she doesn't have the stomach for tactics to get horse on trailer.

        Were I in your shoes and this were a good friend, I'd just talk to her....like you did here. "Friend, I am totally happy to haul your horse....but I feel like a monster when I'm the one who has to load him. Why don't we schedule a day or two a month and I'll come out and we'll work on loading so it's not such a big deal?"

        And then do that...when you're not in a rush to get somewhere. Shouldn't be that hard. And a dressage whip hardly constitutes crying. Goodness.

        Sounds like poopsy is spoiled.
        A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

        Might be a reason, never an excuse...


        • #5
          I would have a talk with ehr and suggest that she spend some money NOW and have a good trainer get this horse loaing properly and without a fuss. It can be done, i do it all the time. Remind her that the horse is a danger to others as well as what if she HAD to move the horse SUDDENLY and RIGHT NOW, i.e. a hurricance, flood or he was ill, what would she do? Tell her to be PROACTIVE and solve the problem now. And then step away.


          • #6
            Tell her exactly what you said in your post, that you're uncomfortable shipping her horse. Not to mention the wear and tear on your trailer and truck to do so. I hauled a horse for a friend of mine who is a known bad loader and I had just a smaller two horse straight. Fortunately, he must prefer those to roomy 4 horse slants because he stepped right in no problem. However, I digress. I really didn't want to haul him because of his loading issues and said I just didn't think it would work but agreed anyway. I know this doesn't help you but if you're honest up front, that is the best policy.
            Yogurt - If you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? Steven Colbert


            • #7
              Yup, I've been through that. With one, it wasn't so much that owner was upset, more that owner understood that the handling was necessary but was happy to have me do it rather than do it herself. I told her "next time, you load the horse." She has not asked for a ride since. If you are truly uncomfortable loading her horse, not because of what is happening to the horse but because of the way she reacts, just tell her you don't mind hauling the horse, but are uncomfortable loading the horse.


              • #8
                I'm really straight forward and never sugar coat anything. (which is sometimes NOT a good thing! giggle)

                If it were my friend I would seriously say, "Dude. It's not my job to teach your horse to load and today was a waste of my time. Teach him to load saftely and quietly before you ask agian."
                And then I would say, "Next time, I'm charging per parked hour. So make sure you've done your homework."

                And honestly, that should not shock her. She should already know deep down that she's got some homework.

                BS like that ticks me off if it is on my time.
                : )
                (thumbs up)
                Horses are amazing athletes and make no mistake -- they are the stars of the show!


                • #9
                  The short answer is "no."

                  The longer answer is it's not worth risking your safety or your trailer's material integrity to handle somebody else's untrained horse.

                  Mangalarga Marchador: Uma Raça, Uma Paixão


                  • #10
                    I suppose I'm terrible, but I refuse to haul anyone else's horses, then it gets me out of situations like that. So, I agree with the others say what you just said, and recommend that he needs a good professional to teach him to load, and the day to do that is not the day he has to go some where!!!
                    Friend us on FB


                    • Original Poster

                      Hey guys;
                      We used to bqard together. She's used my trailer exactly as suggested before to 'train' him. I believe now, she only practiced getting him on the ramp, never closing him in.

                      Also have discussed the 'what if an emergency' situation. She doesn't get it.

                      I wont' be rude to her and simply say 'no'. She deserves more of an explanation than that. I do believe she will get a gift cert to Smartpak for the amount she paid me. She cared for my dogs while DH was in the hospital, so my shipping her horse was my chance to repay her kindness. I certainly was not expecting to be paid to ship her guy, regardless of his PIA status.

                      Good call to whomever reminded me he may hurt himself, or me, or my rig. As it is, took 3 of us to get him on: She stood at hay net with treats, BM led him on, hung on his face when he tried to back, and I shoved the ramp up sans butt bars the nanosecond he was in place. !@#$% tried to back out with the ramp half up, but I wasnt' having it. So, yeah.. I guess we were lucky no harm came to anyone/ thing.

                      She did ask if she could borrow my trailer, but I'm just not comfortable with that due to insurance issues (Trailer's only covered by MY shippng vehicle). Plus I'd hate it if she inadvertently damaged it... Her DH is a bit of an equine ignoramus, but not above pointing fingers to others when his lack of knowledge gets him in trouble.

                      Rambling now. If anyone else has more contributions, please share. Like the exact phrasing I should employ to tell her this is the last time I'm shipping her guy.

                      Thanks again, folks.


                      • #12
                        I like Buddyroos comment, with the addition that you dont like to haul him when hes such a PIA to load. Teach the friggin horse to load (not you but friend) and then haul all you want. You dont wanna get hurt, you dont wanna get Dobbin hurt. End of story.

                        I watched someone trying to force load a horse that woudlnt load. Both horse and handler did backflips on asfalt. At the same time. Both landed on their backs BTW. It wasnt pretty and neither we re walking very well the next week.

                        Drugs are your friend.
                        “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker


                        • #13
                          It's not "rude" to tell the truth.

                          Mangalarga Marchador: Uma Raça, Uma Paixão


                          • #14
                            I'm sure she would have felt worse had the beast managed to flatten you with the ramp.

                            You've repaid the favor.
                            Now you need to have a discussion with your friend--not when you're in the middle of trying to load the horse--and explain the issues--you and others helping could get hurt, the horse could get hurt, and the rig could get damaged.

                            And the point about "what if it were an emergency" is well taken.
                            "It's like a Russian nesting doll of train wrecks."--CaitlinandTheBay

                            ...just settin' on the Group W bench.


                            • #15
                              For a good friend, yes I'd haul it again. But I would warn her in advance that I'm going to do whatever it takes to get the damn horse on the trailer in a minimum amount of time... and I don't want to see any tears about it.

                              Horses should know that loading is not optional, and your friend needs to learn this too. I have no problems cracking a whip on a stubborn horse's backside. Babies, inexperienced, and scared horses require a different approach, of course. We had a hard loader (spoiled horse) at the beginning of show season this past spring. After about 5-6 times of getting loaded the hard way, she now walks right on any of the trailers!


                              • #16
                                Sounds like you still owe her a favor. Give her a gift certificate for a session with a good trainer. She'd probably really appreciate it!


                                • #17
                                  Send her the $ back in the form of the Gift cert. you suggested.

                                  include a note that basically says 'I love you dearly as a friend, Susie Q, but I must admit I don't relish hauling Poopsie. I'm afraid one of us will get hurt. Please take this as notice that I will not be available to haul him in the future. I'm sure you can understand my concerns. I'm hopeful you'll locate a good commercial shipper or trainer to assist you in remedying the situation.'


                                  No one ever said that owning a trailer meant you OWED anyone a ride...,much less a rotten critter that just needs trained, owned by the shy sort that won't hire it done or get it done. Friends don't ask friends to haul their jackasses


                                  • #18
                                    I lost a friend last year over a similar situation (guess she wasn't a very good friend). Ex-friend was a novice owner with a herd of racing TB's that she kept at home. Last October when the fires were raging one broke out close enough to her that she felt the need to evacuate. She couldn't drive her trailer, so she called me to help. Long story short, it was midnight, in a dark canyon, attempting to load her rearing 2yr old stud colt when I had enough, and told her she would have to find someone else to help with the others. So that I don't sound heartless, there had been no evacuation orders, and there never were any issued for her area, the fire was a decent distance away. I called her the next day to check on her remaining horses, over a year later I am still waiting to hear from her. The only danger we were in was the danger of her rearing, out of control horses.

                                    To the OP, yes, it would be nice to be able to help your friend teach her horse to load, but you don't need to get hurt doing it or get your expensive trailer banged up in the process.


                                    • #19
                                      Tell her to hire a trainer to work with both her and the horse. What if there's an emergency and she needs him taken to a vet hospital, and you're not available?
                                      Veterinarians for Equine Welfare


                                      • #20
                                        This may sound like grade school, but I have to say it anyway. PLEASE make sure if you are putting the ramp up that you do not stand behind it to put it up. I had a friend who was helping someone with their horse and next thing that happened was the guy out of the blue stood behind the ramp. The horse came back out and the ramp came down on the guys head. Knocked all his front teeth out and gave him head injuries. If you take one side and stand there it will not happen. Lecture over!!!!!
                                        hunter/jumper ponies