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Choosing horses over children?

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  • Choosing horses over children?

    "I don't want children. Only horses" - Velvet from the book "National Velvet"

    At our recent barn party, I was looking around the room and noticed that there were a number of professional women who have chosen to dedicate their lives to their horses instead of having children. I am amoung the childless with a horse. I am satisfied with this, even though my family thinks I'm a nut.

    Are there any other women here who have decided to not have (or delay having) children in pursuit of riding? There have been a bunch of "how do I juggle kids/horse threads, but not a "I'd rather just ride" one.

    Anybody?

    " I didn't really say everything I said "--Yogi Berra

    Member of the Olde Farte Clique
    One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf
  • Original Poster

    #2
    "I don't want children. Only horses" - Velvet from the book "National Velvet"

    At our recent barn party, I was looking around the room and noticed that there were a number of professional women who have chosen to dedicate their lives to their horses instead of having children. I am amoung the childless with a horse. I am satisfied with this, even though my family thinks I'm a nut.

    Are there any other women here who have decided to not have (or delay having) children in pursuit of riding? There have been a bunch of "how do I juggle kids/horse threads, but not a "I'd rather just ride" one.

    Anybody?

    " I didn't really say everything I said "--Yogi Berra

    Member of the Olde Farte Clique
    One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf

    Comment


    • #3
      Me, me, me!

      I decided when I was 12 that I didn't want any children; got a tubal ligation at age 25 and had a partial hysterectomy (fibroids, etc.) at 40. I am extremely happy with my choice and I think it's the only one I've made that my mother agrees with.

      Founder of the Olde Farte Clique; Member of the Dented Thigh Clique
      If it ain't tack shopping, it's a waste of time and money.
      Founder of the Olde Farte Clique

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm still in my twenties... but I have always known I didn't want children.

        So you can count me into the horses instead of children group. My horse is my child - I worry about him, take care of him, love him like crazy. I don't think I could handle a human baby with how consumed I am with my equine one.

        Although, I certainly wouldn't mind finding an SO. (Only half-joking! haha)


        Comment


        • #5
          Me too! I'm 34 and there will be no kids...firm about that. I love my life and really have no need for kiddos. I have friends with kids and if I ever need a kid-fix (rarely), I always know where to find one. Can't live without my horse!

          Comment


          • #6
            I have 2 kids. I love them more than anything. I salute those who choose not to have kids, if it is not the right thing for them. It is unfair to children if you decide to have them but won't make them the #1 priority in your life. Horse can be very time consuming. If you aren't willing to put them on hold when necessary, don't have kids. And good for all who make it a conscious choice.
            See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

            Comment


            • #7
              ME ME ME! I've decided that for whatever reason if I do have kids I'll adopt...but I like my animals. I'm going so far as to send christmas family pics with my gay business partner and house mate, our cat and dog plus our two personal horses. They should get a kick out of my alternative lifestyle choice lol

              ~Sarah~
              The Purple Princess
              www.geocities.com/idyllinc/home.html
              ~Sarah~
              The Purple Princess
              www.geocities.com/idyllinc/home.html

              Comment


              • #8
                I do not have the maternal instinct when it comes to hominids. Mr. Creseida and I both agreed early on that we have no desire to have our lives ruled by a child for 18+ years. I respect the fact that there are people who love kids and want lots of them; but I find that same respect is frequently not returned for my decision not to have kids. "How can you not want kids?" Easy.

                ~&lt;&gt;~ COTHBB Leather Care Guru~&lt;&gt;~
                ~Member of the *Horse Vans* clique~

                "Learn the rules so you may break them effectively"~Dalai Lama

                Comment


                • #9
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phaxxton:
                  I'm still in my twenties... but I have always known I didn't want children.

                  So you can count me into the horses instead of children group. My horse is my child - I worry about him, take care of him, love him like crazy. I don't think I could handle a human baby with how consumed I am with my equine one.

                  Although, I certainly wouldn't mind finding an SO. (Only half-joking! haha)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                  Me too! (although I *do* have an SO and he feels the same way ) Our animals are our kids and I'm too busy still acting like a kid anyway to have any of my own! lol :

                  Why is it that when my horse does something right, the judge happens to be looking the other way??
                  You'd think I'd know better.

                  AQHA Clique, Pony Club Clique and Member/Co-founder of the Boot to the Head Clique! (Members NOT wanted)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Looking back from the ripe old age of 46, my husband's and my decision to not have kids seems like a really good one. My horse takes up a good deal of my time and money, but my dogs have been my real kid substitutes. They share my home, love me to pieces, are loyal when I don't deserve it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm only 17. But I know I dont want kids! The only kids I want are the ones you get paid to care for for a few hours, then you give em back when the real parents get home from the movies!

                      "You could say I'm a few flakes short of a bale"
                      *Member of the Short Stubby Leg Clique* & *Teen Clique* Finally a place where I belong! *wink*
                      * JEWELS *

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        GREAT TOPIC!! I couldn't imagine doing what I do (full time horses) and having kids! I have never wanted kids. Have spent my whole life obsessed with horses and ponies.

                        I'd be miserable not being able to devote 100% to the horses and I have NO patience for kids but a lot of patience for horses!

                        The world is over populated anyway!

                        ~*Adult Pony Rider Clique*~
                        www.timberrunponies.com
                        ~*Adult Pony Rider Clique*~
                        www.timberrunponies.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I respect the fact that there are people who love kids and want lots of them; but I find that same respect is frequently not returned for my decision not to have kids. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                          Bingo! Making an active/conscious decision NOT to have kids seems to raise the ire of many kid-chained acquaintances. Why do they feel the need to comment on or direct what others do with their private lives?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I strongly feel that I'm the kidless type. I enjoy them but I don't have that hurricane urge of being a mother that I think is necessary to "breed"
                            The only big doubt I have is when you are past proffesional dedication age and you settle down a bit...do older aged childless BBer's wish they would have picked differently?
                            So many parents say that it's an empty life when you're older and w/o children...I cannot contend this since I'm not old (yet, I hope) and I don't have kids. I only wonder what goes on in the head of an older aged, horse crazy BBer that conciously decided not to have little rascals. Any one out there that fits the bill and can fill me in?
                            Oh! And one more request: to all the friends, relatives, and aquaintances of happily married childless couples...please stop asking "so, when are we going to hear the pitter-patter of little feet?" with that sappy grin on your faces. We know how it's done...if you don't here the pitter-patter, it's 'cause we don't want any!!!
                            Over what hill? Where? When? I don\'t remember any hill....

                            www.freewebs.com/caballerizadelviso

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I was never a kid person - I do like teenagers - I was a teen youth leader for 5 years for a bunch of kids from a scary part of Los Angeles and I loved it.

                              But as a horsewoman I never wanted them. I like giving lessons to kids - I find they are much more obediant and moldable than teaching adults!!! But I always felt weird talking to little kids - it really did not come naturally.

                              I dated a three day rider for a long time and after we broke up - I started dating a financial analyst who is not into horses AT ALL. We bought a horse ranch and I work for a horse rescue. He wanted kids so we now have a 4 mnonth old daughter. I am determined to continue with my horses. But I have learned that I can talk to little kids comfortably and I am VERY glad I had her - she makes me so happy!

                              But I have to say - I could not be ME and have a baby and stop with horses. That would not be me - I would be miserable. So, for those women who get rid of their horses when they have kids - I could not do that!

                              Besides, now I have a good excuse to go out pony shopping! =)

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phaxxton:
                                I'm still in my twenties... but I have always known I didn't want children.

                                So you can count me into the horses instead of children group. My horse is my child - I worry about him, take care of him, love him like crazy. I don't think I could handle a human baby with how consumed I am with my equine one.

                                Although, I certainly wouldn't mind finding an SO. (Only half-joking! haha)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                Oh Phaxxton... I always knew we were a match made in heaven! I don't want kids either!

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Oh darn it! Not the thread topic I thought it wold be. I was hoping someone was giving away horses in exchange for children!

                                  I might be a mom, but I've always stood up and saluted those who have made the decision to not have children, whether from lack of wanting them or from preferring to pursue other venues or a career. A far harder and more mature decision to make than having kids, IMHO. Especially with the pressures that society and family can place on a woman, the "but you NEED to have kids!" No, you don't need children to be happy. You don't need a husband to be happy. You only need to do what makes you happy to be happy.
                                  However, there are times I'd consider trading some of my kids for another horse.

                                  Equine Crash Test Dummy
                                  Member of: Non-GPA Clique
                                  80's Clique
                                  Connecticut Clique
                                  Helmet Nazi Clique
                                  You jump in the saddle,
                                  Hold onto the bridle!
                                  Jump in the line!
                                  ...Belefonte

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    I love my daughter (who I always wanted), but here are some fun reasons why horses are better:

                                    You can sell the horse if you don't get along.
                                    Preschool/daycare costs about as much as horse board.
                                    No one thinks you're a terrible person if you leave your horse at home while taking a week-long vacation.
                                    Horses can amuse themselves just fine for most of the day without you.
                                    Horses won't climb your shelves to knock off the breakables.
                                    You don't have to lock the household cleaners into special child-proof closets if you have horses.
                                    Loading a horse on a trailer is less work (and less frequent) than strapping a baby into those confounded child seats.

                                    Finally:
                                    Other people's kids are easy to buy presents for, fun to take on outings, and can be returned within a few hours. Sometimes the parents will even pay YOU to do this.

                                    If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. - Lemony Snicket

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by flbay:
                                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I respect the fact that there are people who love kids and want lots of them; but I find that same respect is frequently not returned for my decision not to have kids. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                      Bingo! Making an active/conscious decision NOT to have kids seems to raise the ire of many kid-chained acquaintances. Why do they feel the need to comment on or direct what others do with their private lives? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                      Probably because they feel that children have enriched their lives so much that they wonder why you can't imagine having one yourself. That being said, I think if you examine which parents say this to you, you'll find that they have good/easy kids (or at least are not asking you this while one of theirs throws a tantrum on the floor!)

                                      I think having a child is far better than having a horse or a dog (even a Jack Russell LOL) BUT only if (like that horse or dog) it has been raised to be a good family member and asset to the community and a credit to its family name. That's easy to say, but hard to do day in and day out.

                                      I am facing a childless old age and not having children is my biggest regret. But then I've always wanted them. Big difference between me and those women who knew from their teens that having kids was not for them. In an overpopulated world, I can applaud any woman who chooses not to have children but it seems to me that many of the people I think should be contributing to the gene pool are NOT having children (better education, more career choices?) and the people I'd least like to see contribute to the gene pool are having lots.

                                      Although according to a recent AOL article, having 4 plus kids is the new 'trend' among wealthy/higher income parents, and that multiple kids are the new status symbol.

                                      ~Kryswyn~
                                      "Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo"
                                      ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
                                      Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

                                      "Life is merrier with a terrier!"

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        me, too.
                                        don't want any kids.
                                        i'm lucky that my SO is older and has a child. i couldn't be w/ a man who would want to have children. i know they would not be a priority in my life.
                                        i wouldn't say that i made this decision solely for horses or riding. but i'm certainly not willing to sacrifice any barn/riding time for a child.
                                        and those of you who have made this decision and stuck w/ it - how do you handle stupid comments from people, such as "you'll change your mind" (accompanied by a condascending smile)?

                                        on a lighter note my secretary from the last job i was at said that i like horses so much that if i ever had a child it would probably be a foal... that was a really clever comment from a completely non-horse lady

                                        "It appears we are being transformed from an information
                                        society to an informant society." Rep. Dennis Kucinich
                                        http://www.eponashoe.com/
                                        TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique

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