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Choosing horses over children?

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  • Let's put it this way, there are way more people having children just for the sake of it. There are lots of parents out there (and I use that term loosely) who had kids because it was easier to have them than not to -(social ''norms'' / expectations). I know one of them, my MIL, who uses the fact that she had 3 children as a reason why she did absolutely NOTHING with her life except sit around drinking copious cups of coffee all day and doing the afternoon school run and now thinks she was a 'great mother', and permanently reminds them that she 'gave up everything for them'. Grrr!!!!!

    To those parents who really wanted children, still wanted them when they had them, and actually brought their children up correctly - kudos to you. It's the hardest job in the universe... Not that I would know - I don't want any - the mere thought of the responsibility makes my knees quake And, to be clear, I do like kids, I just don't want any. I think someone who melts at the sight of a litter of kittens /newborn foal but feels 'so what' when looking at a human baby is not a good candidate for human motherhood


    • Originally posted by DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho" View Post
      I think the hardest, though, is for those people that did want, and couldn't.

      Even harder is the people that did not want, but did anyway. But the person that is difficult for is the poor kid.


      • Originally posted by CA ASB View Post
        I am often asked how many children I have - and I respond, "three." When asked their names, I get a funny look and then the, "but those are horses." Well, to me, they are my family. I just can't write them off on my taxes for their education and housing.

        When I was a little girl, I decided that until I thought babies were cute, I didn't want one of my own. I still think baby horses are cuter than human babies, but I'm a darn good auntie to my trainer's three children. And she is a fabulous mother as well as trainer. Don't know how she does it, but I respect her for it.
        This is what I do! "Yes, I have 3 kids and one baby... my two full grown horses and my dog and then my little filly!" Trust me, that's all you want me raising!

        Geek, I had a similar experience at my college graduation... was going to a top 10 master's program and all people could ask was when BF and I were going to "settle down"... ugh. That and people telling me "oh, you don't want kids now, but you'll change your mind. trust me." Cue my infamous saying: "Oh yeah, I trust ya, I just don't believe you!" Nothing is more irritating! I went to school for a bit more than my MRS. degree.

        I just finished a book called Everything Conceivable by Liza Mundy about IVF and assisted reproductive technology and it's absolutely incredible what these mothers (and fathers) will go through to overcome infertility and have a child of their own. In a way I have so much admiration for these people who want children so bad they will spend tens of thousands of dollars to have one. And then if they end up with multiples, their likelihood of premie babies is increased and then for triplets, the average 1st year medical costs = $500,000 That is devotion to a cause!! (Can you imagine the horse you could buy with a fraction of that?!)

        I am completely happy with my horses and dogs. Until that feeling of "ewww, children!" goes away, I'm not fit to be a mother and that feeling isn't going anywhere, guaranteed... I do respect those mothers who are devoted to their kids and also good parents. My parents' neighbors are like that.. they have two little boys who are chatty and respectful and hilarious; you can tell their mom and dad have put a lot of thought into parenting. Same with my trainer and her partner. I don't want to seem like I'm bashing parents!! (then again, there are some... haha)


        • Me too...

          I'm 33, been happily married for 10 yrs. Never had the desire for kids. I've never changed a diaper, never liked babysitting as a kid, never played with dolls, only Breyers and Barbie's horses. I don't think that I've chosen horses over kids, just never wanted any of my own. I do however, love teaching them, am always involved in Pony Club, and sometimes resent the parents that don't support their kids love for horses like I think they should. I believe those parents don't understand that the passion for horses never goes away, so if they want to spend quality time with their kids, they should get involved. Anyway, I appreciate people who understand that we don't all have the same drives.


          • I don't judge people that don't want kids. That was me until after 15 years of marriage we had a happy accident. This is the problem. You don't really know what it is like to have a kid until you do it. I have only one and I only want one. I take heat for that from people too. I have dragged my horses along through thick and thin and my family knows it comes with the territory. My husband called me and my horse a pain in the ass just yesterday (she really is with the "caudal heel pain" and now COPD) but he has a grin b/c he knows that it is just me. I have put the horses on the back burner for a few years when my son has been small but this year he starts Kindergarten and I can see my time opening up again. He is a great little person and actually the first baby I had ever held! I really don't enjoy kids very much. And omg sitting on the floor and playing games/making crafts would make my head explode. I am just not that kind of Mom. But he and I really enjoy one another and when (if) he wants to start riding I am so there! Having a child is one of life's experiences that you have to do to really know what it is like. If you are too scared to take that leap...you won't miss it.
            “If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?”
            ? Rumi


            • I would love to have a kid I could walk away from horses to have a kid of MY OWN but I have known since I was 12 that I couldnt so I have a horse and I know I could adopt but id rather not have one at all so I have a horse instead
              MIDWAY SOCCER 08' First Season!!!!!!


              • I think I'd rather have a dog than a kid at this point in my life. Kids are great fun and all but I see so many marriages failing when kids are introduced into the mix that it doesn't really sound very appealing or responsible to have kids just because you "want to".
                Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!