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Choosing horses over children?

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  • That's the reason I didn't want to say where I placed my value. I have seen people get mauled for saying that they value their pets over some people. What is it that is so threatening to make people upset when other people say they value their pets more, I wonder.

    I guess it is sad. It's sad for those of us that would rather spend our time around our horses or cats or dogs must have a hard life because we are forced to live in human society-being human duh-and how nice it would be if we could just escape to a cottage and live with our animals. That's what I would love to do. But how do you pay the rent and eat etc.

    Definitly a human relationship is different! At the heart of every person is a self centered desire to fufil their own journey. Aniamls pretty much just want to eat and sleep and play sometimes and if they aren't fixed then they would like to have sex. But other than that they don't have thier own journy that they have to sacrafice to spend time with you or do things with you.

    They don't talk. One of my favorite things about them.

    They will love you unconditionally. The worst thing I find in human relationships is that they can so easily take their love away. Even parents.

    I don't pretend my horses love me. But they do love attention. They like to be scratched and given treats and we have lots of kissy moments. I don't really care if they love me. I know my cat loves me because of her behavior though. She is my soul mate and my best friend. Of course I value her more than almost anything except my parents of course.

    If you feel sad because of that or you think I am a bad person. Or I am stupid and my morals are too lower. Or whatever you think so be it. I value my cat and my horses more than a value anyone's opinion on COTH.

    Comment


    • Well said Shiaway

      There is no reason that those of us who value ALL LIFE EQUALLY should be considered "sad".

      Why is it that when my horse does something right, the judge happens to be looking the other way??
      You'd think I'd know better.

      AQHA Clique, Pony Club Clique and Member/Co-founder of the Boot to the Head Clique! (Members NOT wanted)

      Comment


      • If we are talking about being self-centered, it has always struck me that having a child is more self-centered than not having children at all, because giving birth involves making the deliberate decision not to adopt, but, rather, to augment the all ready significant world population.

        Presumably the reason for not adopting is self-centered, e.g. "I want to pass on my own genes," "I want to build a baby," "I want to carry a child," "I want to be able to nurse," "I don't want to bring a child into my family when I know nothing about the child's background," "I want a baby of my own race," etc.

        These are all "I" statements, as I see them. If folks have differing views, however, I'd love to hear them. Not shockingly, I have been wrong before.

        Comment


        • elizabeth, for what it's worth, I agree with you!

          ~*Adult Pony Rider Clique*~
          www.timberrunponies.com
          ~*Adult Pony Rider Clique*~
          www.timberrunponies.com

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          • I am still just a teenager... well really close to being one. But I have already decided not to have kids - but that option was taken away from me anyways. Radiation therapy killed my ovaries, and they couldnt save anything so there is no way a child will ever be of my blood. I may adopt someday, but I already know that I would rather have horses.

            - Sarah
            http://www.hamsterhouse.com/ridingirl5678/piccy2.jpg
            - Sarah
            http://www.hamsterhouse.com/ridingirl5678/piccy2.jpg

            http://www.hamsterhouse.com/dante_lover/1.jpg

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            • Hey, sorry to join this topic so late, it just caught my attention.

              I am so sick of hearing people ask me in complete bewilderment: "why don't you want kids? Don't you want to be a mother?".. No, I don't. I never want to have children, I don't like them, I don't have the patience that it takes to deal with them. I commend those who do, I think it's great in fact. However, I have chosen never to have children, I am much happier deticating my life to my first love, horses.

              I hate how people say, "don't be hasty, you'll change your mind soon enough." Well, I disagree. No children for Jamz! I try my best not to flip out when people continually argue with me about this. I've gotten used to people not listening or caring how I really feel. They'll understand some day.

              http://xjamzx.cjb.net
              http://xjamzx.cjb.net

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              • I think i want kids, i love kids to death, ever since i can remember all my relatives have always said i have a natural thing for dealing with kids, i love them and they are the cutest... But i mean like, i need to get married to have kids... Im sure ill get married though, But i mean i have enough love to spread around between kids and horses

                *****************************
                [m.a.r.i.s.s.a]

                Cliques: Baby Green Support Group, Canadian, Mares!, and YCMH.
                *****************************
                [m.a.r.i.s.s.a]

                Cliques: Baby Green Support Group, Canadian, Mares!, and YCMH.

                Comment


                • I guess what I don't understand is why if just because you meet the love of your life-- how does meeting and being with the love of your life all of a sudden mean lets procreate?

                  It is not a big surprise us humans have an overpopulation. I definitely do not want to contribute to more on this earth. Personally after taking care of my mother for the past few years in my 20s I can not even imagine having my life ruled by a child. Sorry it is just how I feel. I can enjoy other children around me, but I prefer to not partake myself.

                  I guess what I can not stand is when everyone tells me or downplays my decisions by just saying something like I will change my mind or if I just meet the right person... blah blah blah. It is as if saying that I am not normal because I do not want a houseful of kids or even one.

                  I especially do not like the pressure of after having been with someone (or married) for a brief period of time (under 5 years) that everyone seems to pry when will the kids come. I think the whole point of marriage or a long term relationship is to spend time with the SO and not to hurry and have kiddies.

                  Christina

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                  • I can remember the exact moment I chose to have a child. I was 33, married for 8 yrs, and said to my husband, "I guess I will never get to have a baby" after visiting my new niece. He said, "That's all right,honey, you will be raising dogs and horses." In an instant, like a splintering flash, I knew that was not enough for me. Within a month I was pregnant (after being off the pill for 5 yrs) and 'foaled' at 34 yrs. Eight months prego, an acquaintance's daughter walked in my Dad's store, and her mom gooed "Oh look at what you are going to have~!" I was terrified that they were going to make me hold that red, wrinkled thing. <G> Yet when my own was born, I couldn't wait to clean him up. I have never, ever been sorry I had my son. He has been a joy to me. Totally.

                    But I respect those who choose another life experience. Children take time and energy. Lots. So it is legitimate to recognize that and choose to live life another way or to take measured time to make that committment.

                    Comment


                    • Joining this topic late - Put me in the no kids, prefer horses bunch.

                      BTW, my horses, dogs, cats, goats, cats, birds, etc. are just that: horses, dogs, cats, goats, cats, birds, etc., NOT children. Because if they were children, they wouldn't live at my home. Not everyone who has companion animals is using them as child substitutes.

                      Now, to be sure, I wish children no harm, lots of love and great lives. It's just that I feel no sense of connection with them - I watch them rather bemusedly, as if they were moderately interesting, incomprehensible albeit harmless aliens.

                      Comment


                      • Posting late, but I have followed this thread with interest. I've chosen to remain childfree, and that allows me all sorts of time and resources to have horses, but I won't say I "chose" to skip children in lieu of horses. Even if I wasn't involved in horses and riding, I'd still be childfree. Fortunately, most of the people around me support that choice and I haven't had to deal with the questions and pressures that some of you have talked about. I knew that my mother accepted it when several Christmases ago she gave me a T-shirt with "Top 10 Reasons Dogs are Better than Children" listed -- yea, Mom!

                        Comment


                        • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pt:
                          BTW, my horses, dogs, cats, goats, cats, birds, etc. are just that: horses, dogs, cats, goats, cats, birds, etc., NOT children. Because if they were children, they wouldn't live at my home. Not everyone who has companion animals is using them as child substitutes.
                          <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                          There you have it. My pets have been my companions, not my children. There is a huge difference. One of my pets, I bonded with so much, I consider him a soulmate (hey I have a few of those .) But not my child!! You rear children and teach them how to be independent and become adults and some day leave and take care of themselves. We don't do that with pets! They are companions for life. They are dependent on us and always will be. Having a child is a huge undertaking that may last the rest of your life. No matter how old I get, I am still my mother's "little girl" and she just can't help that. It's what parents do.

                          The truth is rarely pure, and never simple. Oscar Wilde
                          The truth is rarely pure, and never simple. Oscar Wilde

                          Comment


                          • Count me in!

                            Though I'm currently only in my teens, this is where I see my life going. No offense to those riders with kiddos (in fact, I deeply admire your dedication to kids and horses and the endless patience kids must require), but I see children as the on major thing that would drag down my riding career time-wise, money-wise, etc... So although my family will call me crazy, foals are going to be the only kiddos I care for.
                            Equito ergo sum.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by pt View Post
                              Joining this topic late - Put me in the no kids, prefer horses bunch.
                              Now, to be sure, I wish children no harm, lots of love and great lives. It's just that I feel no sense of connection with them - I watch them rather bemusedly, as if they were moderately interesting, incomprehensible albeit harmless aliens.

                              Ha ha ha ha! Ditto!
                              Equito ergo sum.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by elizabeth View Post
                                If we are talking about being self-centered, it has always struck me that having a child is more self-centered than not having children at all, because giving birth involves making the deliberate decision not to adopt, but, rather, to augment the all ready significant world population.

                                Presumably the reason for not adopting is self-centered, e.g. "I want to pass on my own genes," "I want to build a baby," "I want to carry a child," "I want to be able to nurse," "I don't want to bring a child into my family when I know nothing about the child's background," "I want a baby of my own race," etc.

                                These are all "I" statements, as I see them. If folks have differing views, however, I'd love to hear them. Not shockingly, I have been wrong before.

                                I could actually pick this apart line for line but I just want to mention one point - when picking horse as a prospect to perform a certain task, you don't pick the one that most needs a home do you? You pick the one that genetically, physically has the most potential. We are not that much better than animals - most of us feel our own genes are better than a lot of other peoples and therefore our progeny deserves a chance.

                                On the flip side, all those people that have babies we think should not, will probably produce the next Lincoln, Pasteur or Einstein.


                                I had babies later in life- and only after the cards were on the table - it was do or die/now or never. I think you young things can't make your decision 100% until you stare it in the face. Please understand just because they have babies in Hollywood at 50, that doesn't mean you can. Sometimes not making the decision makes the decision for you.

                                As for giving up horses etc. - I had 4 horses when I had my first child. I now have 2 children and 15 horses. I have to stop having kids because we are out of stalls!! BAAAHAAA!
                                http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cool-S...m/251196806403

                                Comment


                                • So glad to find 11 pages or so full of peeps in the "give me a horse over a kid any time" camp.

                                  I knew I didn't want a kid before I bred my horse. But having raised him, I now think I would do a better job raising a human child than some of the "real parents" I see around me.

                                  I think I have the best of both worlds in raising and training my horse. I think the people who haven't done this and know they can't because they are busy with kids may be a little jealous. I think jealousy-- on either side-- is what generates the strong emotions behind judgement of the other.
                                  The armchair saddler
                                  Politically Pro-Cat

                                  Comment


                                  • The other night at dinner was "make fun of Jessie" night with my parents and I got to hear all the stories I've heard 2000 times from when I was tiny. My favorite? Getting super incredibly pissed at the dinner table when I was 2 (about what, no one can remember) storming to the doorway, turning around, hand on hip, hip cocked announcing "You're not the boss of me!!!" and marching out of the room. To all those who say that kids under 5 have no impulse control/higher means of plotting... I would have to kindly disagree because as my dad pointed out: I was conniving from the time I could talk - and apparently this runs in the family .

                                    Thus, I have learned: there is only room for one of me and my Mt. Everest sized attitude in this world.
                                    Plus, our world is already over-populated and I'm doing my part

                                    Besides, do you know how much those little squealing rascals COST?!?! It makes $800/mo for board look CHEAP!!! Not to even mention if the tot gets it into his/her head that THEY want to ride too...

                                    My babies are my animals, the three ponies who are all tucked in at the barn, and the puppy who's curled at my feet.

                                    Annddddddd I'm a wimp and there is no way on God's green earth I'm pushing a watermelon sized creature out of me. are you kidding? hell to the no!! Plus, there's probably a pretty decent chance that my reproductive system is shot, so there's the problem solved as well

                                    Comment


                                    • I had my kids and now they are adults. I'm also a granny. I love my children and grandchildren, but they can't give me what I can get from my horses. I don't regret having children, I just think it's nice when they spread their wings. So I'm off....... to the barn. It's heaven on earth. Peg
                                      Fleur de Lis Hanoverians

                                      Comment


                                      • Two questions:

                                        1. WHY was this thread raised from the dead? It began and ended (until a few minutes agao) in 2003.

                                        2. How many of the avowed childless from 2003 now have little bundles of joy dangling from a Baby Bjorn?

                                        Inquiring minds want to know.
                                        Chronicles of the $700 Pony
                                        The Further Adventures of the $700 Pony
                                        www.blithetraveler.com <-- My Blog

                                        Comment


                                        • I wondered the same thing, RR. I think this has to be one of the oldest threads I've seen be brought back to life.
                                          A Merrick N Dream Farm
                                          Proud Member of "Someone Special to me serves in the Military" Clique

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