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kids: how did it affect your horse life?

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  • #41
    Originally posted by rustbreeches View Post
    Lol! Driving home from the hospital with #3 I asked when DH wanted to start trying again! But I'm a slow learner
    You're a nutter... And I mean that in the most loving way possible.

    Comment

    • #42
      Originally posted by Superminion View Post
      You're a nutter... And I mean that in the most loving way possible.
      Awwwww, thanks! I'm ridiculously low rent when it comes to having babies. Just pop out a 9 or 10 pounder and keep working in the fields. I lack the class to suffer through a pregnancy and delivery like a lady
      Originally posted by The Saddle
      Perhaps I need my flocking adjusted.

      Comment

      • #43
        Originally posted by morganpony86 View Post
        I'm a working amateur dedicated to my career (no stay-at-home mom for me!), married to a man dedicated to his career (no stay-at-home-dad for him!). I am also dedicated (in theory) to my horses..
        are the kids going to be goats or humans? goat would fit, humans no

        Comment

        • Original Poster
          #44
          Originally posted by clanter View Post
          are the kids going to be goats or humans? goat would fit, humans no
          You're kidding, right? Last I checked, it was possible for both parents to have careers and hobbies and have kids.

          Comment

          • #45
            Originally posted by clanter View Post
            are the kids going to be goats or humans? goat would fit, humans no
            It would probably be harder with goats. Ever take one to a horse show?

            Comment

            • #46
              Originally posted by Superminion View Post
              It would probably be harder with goats. Ever take one to a horse show?
              The fencing is always a problem, too.

              I didn't have a 'horse career' before I had kids, so I can't comment on that. I started riding after we adopted our girls; and then we bought a horse farm...sort of backwards.

              I am still bristling from the comment "something will SUFFER". I think it's better to say "something will CHANGE" but it doesn't mean anyone or anything has to suffer. I was a successful professional before I became a mom; made a good deal of money, was respected in my career, and actually thought I might miss my career when I chose to stay home with my kids. But...nope. You could say my career "suffered" but I don't think so. My goals and desires changed, and I found lots of different ways to achieve those "self-actualizing" moments that I had gotten from my career.

              I suspect the same is probably true for many parents with prior show careers/hobbies. You can choose to continue riding and showing, but you might not want to do both once you have other important, time consuming things in your life (kids!)

              OP - it sounds like your thoughts are very do-able, especially if you have support from your spouse, and enough disposable income to cover things like child care. But if you find that you can't (or don't want to) balance it all at the same time....well, who cares? You don't have to.

              Comment

              • #47
                Originally posted by Superminion View Post
                It would probably be harder with goats. Ever take one to a horse show?
                And goats never get over the "put EVERYTHING IN MY MOUTH" phase.
                "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

                My CANTER blog.

                Comment

                • #48
                  Having my DD was the best thing in my life. The only thing having her changed was that there were even more horse venues to attend. She was as a child ,very busy with 4H, Pony Club, and local shows. So if anything having her made the whole horse thing loads more fun. Both DH and I worked full time, plus we worked the farm. DD is an adult now and we still do horses as a family. For us the horse thing was a lifestyle. If anything suffered at all perhaps it was the house work.
                  Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.--Adam Stanley

                  Comment

                  • #49
                    I keep seeing lots of people say "I just do x during naps". Not all babies nap in any useful manner. Mine has napped for longer than 30 minutes less than I can count on my hands. She's 7 months. If she napped for real in the afternoons I would ride, but a 20 min power nap on the way home from daycare has her good to go until at least 7pm. She will then occasionally take a 20 or 30 min nap, then is back up till 9 or 9:30 when she goes to bed. The child just doesn't need to sleep. she's not the slightest bit cranky like she would be if overtired, she just inherited her dads need for little sleep.

                    Not trying to scare you at all. I had great plans to do my first 25 when my baby would have been 5 months. It just didn't happen. Then the one at 7 months didn't happen. The one next weekend, its not happening either. My green horse is now almost 6 and can barely WTC. And yet this doesn't bother me at all. You couldn't have told me I would walk away from it before I went back to work. Just don't be shocked if you suddenly lose interest. I know once she can ride I will again too. And if I can find a cart I may teach my old mare to drive. But I wanted this baby for years, she's going to be my only one, so I'm not spending what little free time I have away from her.

                    Comment

                    • #50
                      That's true, Hampton Bay. Or you will get mine -- both of whom have napped for slightly longer, but ONLY if I am holding them the whole time. Set them down and they pop right up! There is no doing anything during naps around here but watching the Weather Channel, which I think all good farmers must so that's somewhat productive I suppose.

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                      • #51
                        Luckily I can lay her down just fine so I do have time to unload the dishwasher or put in laundry on the weekends. Her daddy is very helpful if I need him to take her, but she's breastfed and I refuse to pump if I don't have to, plus she's gotten quite clingy with me lately. Daddy will suffice for a while but she prefers me if I am in the house. 9yo DSS is getting to the point where he's reliable to supervise her for a bit but I need to be checking in. That allowed me to cook dinner last night. Baby girl loves her brother.

                        I just wish I could stay home with her. I would feel better about handing her over.

                        Comment

                        • #52
                          hampton bay, mine was the same way. He naps ok at daycare (actually, he naps well there. Something about peer pressure, maybe?) but he never napped well at home. The whole time I was on maternity leave, he would nap for maybe 15 minutes at a time. Just long enough for me to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. heh.

                          Everyone was all "oh newborns just lie around and sleep!" Not mine. :/

                          And now he's almost two and I still haven't gotten a night's sleep of more than 6 hours. I'm lucky in that now he at least will go down for a real nap, but it;s rare for him to nap more than an hour at home.
                          "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

                          My CANTER blog.

                          Comment

                          • #53
                            Originally posted by S1969 View Post
                            The fencing is always a problem, too.

                            I didn't have a 'horse career' before I had kids, so I can't comment on that. I started riding after we adopted our girls; and then we bought a horse farm...sort of backwards.

                            I am still bristling from the comment "something will SUFFER". I think it's better to say "something will CHANGE" but it doesn't mean anyone or anything has to suffer. I was a successful professional before I became a mom; made a good deal of money, was respected in my career, and actually thought I might miss my career when I chose to stay home with my kids. But...nope. You could say my career "suffered" but I don't think so. My goals and desires changed, and I found lots of different ways to achieve those "self-actualizing" moments that I had gotten from my career.

                            I suspect the same is probably true for many parents with prior show careers/hobbies. You can choose to continue riding and showing, but you might not want to do both once you have other important, time consuming things in your life (kids!)

                            OP - it sounds like your thoughts are very do-able, especially if you have support from your spouse, and enough disposable income to cover things like child care. But if you find that you can't (or don't want to) balance it all at the same time....well, who cares? You don't have to.
                            Since I'm the one who said "suffer" you just made my point. You can't have it all, it can't be the same way post kid as pre kid. You have to give up something...you might decide that you want to (I made the same decision as well), but there are only 24 hours in a day and you do have to sleep at some point.

                            I do suppose that with a fabulous live-in nanny, things could remain pretty much the same, barring the cost for said nanny of course.

                            Comment

                            • #54
                              Mine won't nap at daycare either. She's still up to nurse every 3hrs despite a good dinner of solid food. Home girl likes to eat like her momma. If I could manage to get myself in bed by 10 I wouldn't feel so tired but that never happens. DSS is usually still finishing homework at 9 because of multiple tantrums relating to playing dumb in an effort to not do homework.

                              But I wouldn't trade it for my old life in a million years.

                              Comment

                              • #55
                                Originally posted by fordtraktor View Post
                                That's true, Hampton Bay. Or you will get mine -- both of whom have napped for slightly longer, but ONLY if I am holding them the whole time. Set them down and they pop right up!
                                I had one of those as well, slept in his bed just fine at night, but no way for naps. Needless to say I was a little panicked when my 6 month maternity leave was almost at an end -- there was no way daycare was going to take him if he didn't nap in a bed. Fortunately he decided two weeks before he had to start daycare that he'd finally nap in a bed. I think it was mother nature's way of making me take a break myself.
                                At its finest, rider and horse are joined not by tack, but by trust. Each is totally reliant upon the other. Each is the selfless guardian of the other's very well-being.
                                (Author Unknown)

                                Comment

                                • #56
                                  Originally posted by Hampton Bay View Post
                                  Mine won't nap at daycare either. She's still up to nurse every 3hrs despite a good dinner of solid food. Home girl likes to eat like her momma. If I could manage to get myself in bed by 10 I wouldn't feel so tired but that never happens. DSS is usually still finishing homework at 9 because of multiple tantrums relating to playing dumb in an effort to not do homework.

                                  But I wouldn't trade it for my old life in a million years.
                                  Mine is still up twice at night too. He is 99% in height, 97% in weight, so the big guy is just plain hungry! That's a lot of boy to feed!

                                  Over on Eventing some young twentysomething scolded me for admitting that I have to drive when tired. If she ever has kids she will understand why I said I haven't been un-tired in five years. You know, right around the time I got pregnant with #1.

                                  Comment

                                  • #57
                                    Originally posted by caffeinated View Post
                                    And goats never get over the "put EVERYTHING IN MY MOUTH" phase.
                                    My DH never got over that phase either.

                                    I agree that some kids won't nap. My new one will sleep MUCH longer when being held. I invested in an Ergo carrier, with the newborn insert, and voila! I get stuff done now! Its a bit pricey, but I wish that I had invested in one with my first. Depending on how big your squishy is when foaled, you can use it right from day 1. I use it for house chores, grocery shopping, horse chores, and family walks. I'm fairly small framed (5'3 and around 110) and its the most comfortable one that I've found to fit me. The other front carriers hurt my back. The Ergo goes all the way to 40 or 50lbs I think too, and you can front, back, and hip carry. I was never a big fan of baby wearing, until I realized how easy it made life!

                                    Comment

                                    • #58
                                      Everything will change, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing

                                      As mom of 3 kids and 3 horses who also has a full time job and husband, here has been our path over the last 10 years:

                                      Kid #1: I had one show horse and one retiree, both boarded. I reduced my full time job to a part time job, work 3 days stay home 2. I half-leased out the show horse with the same lessee for 4 years. As munchkin got older, I increased my hours back to full time. I was originally doing eventing, but my horse decided that he preferred ring work and we switched to HJ. Lessee helped cover my salary decrease and helped cover costs, less showing helped fund daycare.

                                      Kid #2: We bought a farm! Moved retiree home, sold the show horse because we needed the money, got a free project horse instead, and took on one boarder. Went back to part time for a while, slowly increased back to full time. New job paid more money, helped cover daycare costs. Riding more for fun now as there was no time/funds to show, other than the rare schooling show or pair pace. Project horse was SUPER fun.

                                      Kid #3: Still at the farm, have pretty much given up showing because kid activities take so much time. But you know, I am totally cool with that. Instead, my oldest daughter has a pony now, and we have taken up foxhunting. First project horse got injured, so during his recovery I did some exercise riding for my dear foxhunting friends. When my retiree passed on, I got another project horse, baby OTTB, so we have 2 horses, one pony, and I board my vet's horse so I get free vet care Now I am the DC for my daughter's hunting-based Pony Club, and we go riding and hunting together. Talk about FABULOUS!! Working a full time demanding job that is making good money, giving husband the freedom to follow his dream and start his own engineering company - he now works at home and took over most of the kid pickup/dropoff.

                                      It is amazing and wonderful. Leaving the traditional showing path was scary at first, but there is ALWAYS a way to still be involved with horses and balance career and family. You will find your way too.
                                      where are we going, and why am I in this hand basket?

                                      Comment

                                      • #59
                                        Oh and to answer the question of finding time for chores... my boys are VERY low maintenance. I don't bed stalls, and they all have individual runs, so I potty trained them to always go outside. (Baby OTTB has not mastered this concept yet but we're working on it.) So, I don't have to clean stalls, and clean pens when I have time on weekends. During the winter I let them go and then pay a guy with a big tractor to clean them out in the spring (we do not have a tractor but that is next on the list).

                                        Turn out as much as possible. Feeding takes 10 minutes in the morning and evening, tops. Plus now my oldest can do it too (she is 9).

                                        We have an outdoor arena that takes minimal maintenance; I drag it when I feel like it and add sand every other year.

                                        I mow pastures in bits while I am pulling the manure spreader.

                                        Really, the chores are not that much.
                                        where are we going, and why am I in this hand basket?

                                        Comment

                                        • #60
                                          Originally posted by LauraKY View Post
                                          Since I'm the one who said "suffer" you just made my point. You can't have it all, it can't be the same way post kid as pre kid. You have to give up something...you might decide that you want to (I made the same decision as well), but there are only 24 hours in a day and you do have to sleep at some point.

                                          I do suppose that with a fabulous live-in nanny, things could remain pretty much the same, barring the cost for said nanny of course.
                                          I agree with you, but the word *suffer* isn't, in my opinion, the best word.

                                          My career didn't suffer - I no longer found it important. That's a big difference to me. Maybe with a fabulous live-in nanny I could have managed, but I'm not sure it would have made me *want* to keep working; just make it possible.

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