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Jingles Please. Horrible Weekend. Horrible Week. Long Rant.

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  • #81
    Originally posted by PrimoAmor View Post

    Re: Flipping/Loading. I was SCREAMING for her to stop. I was trying to get her to let go of the lunge line. My mom was there and took me away. Told me that we HAD to get the horse on the trailer and that it would be fine. I tried to fight her. I tried to scream. I tried to make it stop. No one was listening to me. I would have stopped and let him spend a few more days/chill there if I could have made them stop. I was a mess at this point. Without sleep/the stress of the weekend. I was trying to stand up for my horse. Everyone just kept doin what they dang well pleased and told me it would be ok.
    Did everybody miss the part where her MOM, who manages the barn the horse is in now, LED HER AWAY AND LET THE ABUSE CONTINUE? This doesn't give me the warm fuzzies about the new digs. Maybe that is just me though.

    I sincerely hope that OP grows a set and does not let anybody else harm her horse. It can be very hard to stand up to parents
    Originally posted by The Saddle
    Perhaps I need my flocking adjusted.

    Comment


    • #82
      Originally posted by danceronice View Post
      Yep. A chain is my best friend (having mostly OTTBs all my life.) But the most important lesson I learned about loading is if you have one primed to explode (Lucky and Tice are the "stubborn" kind of loader, who can be nagged into getting on, Benny was a time bomb) the best strategy is, if it takes five hours, it takes five hours. Slow and steady will usually win. I can bop Lucky with a dressage whip to move him on--with my old horse, Benny, if you'd done that he would have exploded (he once ripped the chain off a lunge line.) The only speed trick for him was load another horse first. Better to win a war of attrition instead.

      And I agree that the lesson learned here should be "The trainer doesn't know how to load, how to prep a student for a show, or what is an appropriate tool to use on a horse (lunge whip/pig stick good, rusty bar bad)."
      A couple things...
      I completely agree- chains over the nose, when used properly, are effective, safe and one of the best tools when working with green/young/high energy horses.

      I would have to say though, taking several hours to load is simply not going to fly if you are having someone else trailer the horse. Sure, if you do it yourself you can take all the time in the world but most professionals will not want to waste several hours on a reluctant horse to load. It sounded to me that the horse has some critically bad ground manners. It's terrible that the horse was injured but it sounds like the OP was very fortunate that no people were injured. I would spend some serious time getting the horse comfortable with loading- to the point that it loads quietly 100% of the time. It also sounds like a one hour drive is about its limit in the trailer (that's when it started getting antsy, right?). You might start with lots of short trailer rides. I like to practice loading my youngsters, drive around the block, unload and repeat. Some horses take a really long time to get with the program but keep at it. I can't stress enough how dangerous it is for both the horse and handler to try to load a panick stricken horse.

      Lastly, it is incredibly important to learn how to control your own emotions. Becoming hysterical is never an option around horses. First, it will not help the horse calm down nor will it help you command respect. Secondly, people tend to make bad choices when they are hysterical/upset. If you stay calm, breathe and think slowly, you can avoid mistakes. Lastly, it doesn't help other people take you seriously. If you calmly say, "Do not do that." Or "I can handle this on my own", people will take you seriously. However, a hysterical person generally does not give the vibe that they are in control of the situation. So next time (which hopefully there won't be a next time), do you and your horse a favor by keeping calm.

      Comment


      • #83
        Confrontation comes naturally to some people, others not so much.

        OP, it sounds like you knew something was very wrong in how your horse was being handled. You tried to stop it, but your efforts were thwarted by so-called professionals (and even your Mother!).

        If you are ever again in such a horrible situation. Be more aggressive! It should not matter who you have to disrespect to ensure your horse's mental and physical comfort and safety.

        In your scenario, had the abusers not stopped when first told, they would have been met with bodily harm if they did not cease and desist making contact with my horse!!!! But, I am the master of my world. It sounds as though you are still relying on others, which could make it more difficult, to justify in your mind, being aggressive.

        I am so angry for you and at those pathetic individuals who abused your horse. But it's been said "what's done is done", so focus now on your horse and do whatever it takes to ensure this situation never happens to either of you again.

        Best of luck to you both.
        http://www.foxhuntingfriesian.blogspot.com
        http://www.isherwoodstudios.blogspot.com

        Comment


        • #84
          And this is why other people do not handle my horse. I feel kinda ridiculous that she is now over 6 years old, and no one else has ever sat on her back - but I am just a control freak, and can't hand over the reins, or the lead. Maybe to a trusted trainer someday (but only when I am watching) to a stranger? NEVER.

          And I am also fortunate that I am older, and much much more experienced now then when I was a kid. And growing up I was surrounded by wonderful horsemen, who when they stepped in to help - never created disasters.

          Sorry the weekend was such a disaster OP - and that many who tried to help seem to have failed miserably at horsemanship 101.

          I agree with others - time to find some better mentors who can help you.

          Originally posted by Daatje View Post
          If you are ever again in such a horrible situation. Be more aggressive! It should not matter who you have to disrespect to ensure your horse's mental and physical comfort and safety.
          and I agree 100% with this. No need for crying, screaming or hysterics. NO! STOP! are complete sentences, step in and TAKE AWAY THE LEAD ROPE from any yahoo who tries to abuse your horse!

          Or as I prefer - Never hand over the lead rope - if someone wants to help, ask them to SHOW YOU what they want to do. That way you learn the technique, and can assure that your horse is not abused.
          APPSOLUTE CHOCKLATE - Photo by Kathy Colman

          Comment


          • #85
            Look I am sure the OP has learned and moved on. For the "meth head" hauler I had always loaded and unloaded my own horse and my trainer's horse myself because I did not trust him or his dumpy girlfriend. We have to live and learn to understand how bad things can go with untrustworthy horse people. He never told me that he tied my horse up and would not let him exit until I asked why he was not coming out, and my horse solved the situation rather quickly and was not a problem loading or unloading after, he still rushed out backwards but he always waited calmly for someone to get him after he unloaded. I also never thought the dumpy girlfriend would retaliate by starting her rig and driving at me and my young TB as we crossed the driveway at the barn. My young guy had to be desensitized to trailers after that and I could barely walk for a week from being knocked down and dragged on the pavement.

            I know better now and the OP has had her experience that will guide her in her future endeavors with her horse.

            That is the great thing about COTH, we can come here and read about other people's "light bulb" horse moments. The OP's story is not unique, we all have to learn who to trust but when things are rapidly going wrong our ability to take control and see clearly has a tendency to go out the window. Sometimes the comfort of knowing that some of us have been there and done that is all that needs to be said, as well as jingles.

            Comment


            • #86
              Originally posted by GaitedGloryRider View Post
              I hope you made a mental list of people you will never let load/haul your horse ever again after all that. Ditto on everything CrowneDragon said.

              In all seriousness...WTF? Rusty poles? Brake-checking with a horse trailer? Nose chain on a lunge line ran through the trailer? Multiple times rearing/flipping over/laying down? Don't just stand there and watch that crap. Don't get hysterical or walk away either, grow a pair and take control of the situation, of YOUR HORSE. That is beyond ridiculous.

              You need to A) start hanging out with a better class of horse people and B) set some boundaries on how far those handling your horse can take things, or your next thread will be you bemoaning your poor, ruined horse.

              I'm going to be blunt and say I'm aghast that *anyone* with a lick of sense would let things go as far as you describe. You need to wake up before your horse ends up ruined, crippled or dead.

              So sorry this happened to your horse, I hope he is recovers and his training isn't too messed up. I also hope you own your part in it and let it serve as a wake-up call that you seriously need to reevaluate who is handling your horse and how you react when you see him being abused.
              Ditto Ditto Ditto....
              "My biggest fear is that when I die my husband is going to try to sell all my horses and tack for what I told him they cost."

              Comment


              • #87
                I would be wary of your mother, OP. Anyone who forces their daughter away from their horse being abused for the sake of "we need to get home" is utterly stupid and worthless.

                Be careful with her as the manager, OP!
                Rest your pride, Michael. Rest your pride and maybe we can all evolve.

                Comment


                • #88
                  This thread really highlights the fact that we trailer-less horse owners have to be VERY careful about who we trust to trailer our horses.

                  My guy is moving tomorrow morning, and thankfully the lady who is taking him is a kind, gentle person who also drives very cautiously. I'll be there to load, and (*knocks on a whole forest of wood*) thankfully my boy is very good about loading. (Famous last words, right? ) But if I couldn't be there, I would absolutely trust this woman to load him up because I know she would never get rough with him.
                  Topline Leather -- Bespoke, handwoven browbands & accessories customized with Swarovski crystals, gemstones, & glass seed beads. The original crystal braid & crystal spike browbands!

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                  • #89
                    OP: how is your horse doing?

                    Comment


                    • #90
                      A REAL trainer does what it takes then no more.

                      Be that for horses, dogs or humans.

                      A real trainer can load a horse with a piece of baling twine, a chain, or a tow rope. Or a couple panels or a corral gate.

                      A real trainer doesn't berate the person that will be handling the horse.


                      IMO mean has no place in training or teaching.
                      Last edited by cowboymom; Oct. 10, 2013, 07:57 PM.
                      “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey

                      Comment


                      • #91
                        OP, I'm very sorry for your horrible experience, and I hope your horse heals up (physically) quickly. None of this was your fault, and it sounds like everything escalated to Nuclear Emergency Level in about 90 seconds. Take some time now getting your horse healed up. Then think about desensitizing the poor guy to trailering again. Do you have any sort of set-up where you can stick the trailer in a paddock and start feeding him in it? There is a lot of information out there about how to start trailer-shy horses getting used to going into the trailer to eat their grain, have treats, etc. Look up some good advice from John Lyons or Buck Brannaman.

                        You obviously love your horse and tried your best to end the trailering horror story. Don't beat yourself up. Now your job is to go back to square one and get your horse to trust YOU and become confident that NOTHING BAD is ever going to happen to him in or around a trailer. This is going to take TIME so don't try to rush things. Good luck!
                        I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. ~ Dave Barry

                        Comment


                        • #92
                          Jingles for your horse ~ AO


                          Jingles & AO for your horse to recover completely ~
                          Zu Zu Bailey " IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ! "

                          Comment


                          • #93
                            It really is hard when you don't have your own trailer.
                            I have a Fjord! Life With Oden

                            Comment


                            • #94
                              Originally posted by talkofthetown View Post
                              I don't have a dog in this fight, but, uh......wow. Nothing productive came from that. I'd be willing to bet twotrudoc has done more than braid and run judges over, no need to be snarky and condescending. And besides, isn't this....not the point of this thread?
                              And uh, didn't I apologize for the hijack? Guess I shouldn't have bothered, huh?

                              There was actually reason for me to be so-called "snarky and condescending" -- although I'm sure you meant to say sarcastic, with a strong probable element of truth.

                              Seriously, anybody who doesn't know that a chain has a place in training some horses in some circumstances doesn't know her ass from her elbow. So if you can't take anything from my posts on this thread I'll gladly put you in that category.

                              ANYWAY...

                              OP that's too bad about your mom's role in this mess.

                              Comment


                              • #95
                                I agree with you grayarab, about the chain. I don't know what the big deal about a shank over the nose is. I have a strong gelding that is big and pushy at times, and the moment I put the chain over his nose, he settles down and I don't even need to use it. It's like the signal for, I'M SERIOUS BUDDY! He's not poorly trained at all, he's a very good boy, but has his moments when a gentle reminder is useful to get his brain back. I have bumped him with that chain exactly 2 times, ever. I'd rather get an instant response from him and go on with what we're doing, versus a 11 minute wrestling match without the chain, which only reinforces to him that he's a lot stronger than me.

                                Every horse I've known off the track responded well with the chain as well. They know when they have it on and they behave - it doesn't mean they'll automatically get bumped, and they understand that too.

                                Comment


                                • #96
                                  Originally posted by grayarabpony View Post
                                  And uh, didn't I apologize for the hijack? Guess I shouldn't have bothered, huh?

                                  There was actually reason for me to be so-called "snarky and condescending" -- although I'm sure you meant to say sarcastic, with a strong probable element of truth.

                                  Seriously, anybody who doesn't know that a chain has a place in training some horses in some circumstances doesn't know her ass from her elbow. So if you can't take anything from my posts on this thread I'll gladly put you in that category.

                                  ANYWAY...

                                  OP that's too bad about your mom's role in this mess.
                                  Actually, yes, I did mean to say snarky and condescending I don't really care what category you put me in, I have no idea who you are, aside from your BB name.

                                  I have no problem with chains (in the appropriate hands), I agree with you. I just think it was unfair to highlight one instance where her horse ran away with her, and use that to imply that she has no knowledge or competence around horses at all. I don't really care if she uses chains or not...if she can find an equally effective method to use, big whoop for her. I just don't see the need for bashing.

                                  Comment


                                  • #97
                                    ^^^THIS. I can totally imagine this board becoming like that teenage site Hot or Not? Either you solicit ooohs and Ahhhs by posting pretty pictures and unambiguous brags with zero chance for criticism, or face evisceration from puffed up people who have apparently have never screwed up and never had a horse get the best of them at one point in their lives. Yes this whole situation warrants criticism and advice because the OP really needs to change things up in her situation for the benefit of her horse. But good advice must come from a position of empathy or it's worthless.
                                    Calling a young person's mother "stupid and worthless"? Dismissing a poster as utterly incompetent based on one incident that the poster offered with humor and compassion for the OP? What does that accomplish.
                                    I apologize for a soapbox speech and the fatigue it's causing your rolly-eye muscles. Just feel like it had to be said.

                                    Comment


                                    • #98
                                      OP, it sounds like you and your horse are moving in the right direction with the changes you have made. Let this horrible weekend turn into a learning experience and put it behind you.

                                      Comment


                                      • #99
                                        I think you're right, Hungarian. One thing I've noticed is no one seems to really know the folks who always have a negative side to share, an accusation to throw out, or a criticism to give. The folks who have met and/or have friends or acquaintances in common seem to have a more balanced perspective. Watching folks behave in such a horrible manner towards others when they have that incognito screen name has made me get more aware of how I say things to people. I'm not saying that I am all nicey-nicey 24/7 but I see a need to get rid of harsh and condemning and mean spirited language. Honesty, disagreement, and forthright opinion are good things-if said from an honest person not a hidden internet troll or bitter sort. Interestingly, one gal who gave me a huge ration of crap a few weeks ago turned out to be someone I have some friends in common with. I need to clarify, they are my friends and they wanted to know why I would be involved with that person. I linked the thread and let them determine their own thoughts. They told me a few things about her, and I can *almost* understand why she comes on forums in her tirade-y screaming meemie way, she is similar in real life in a very passive aggressive way, has issues with her stallion (she is not a good hand and is afraid to handle him because of now taught bad manners), etc., and is just generally a miserable person, it's sad. I don't want to be that kind of person either

                                        Besides! So many folks on here are fun and interesting and knowledgeable, why let the Negative Nancy sorts ruin it (and I heard there is an OT Day coming up!!!)

                                        Comment


                                        • Originally posted by HungarianHippo;7206231Calling a young person's mother "stupid and worthless"? Dismissing a poster as utterly incompetent based on [I
                                          one incident[/I] that the poster offered with humor and compassion for the OP? What does that accomplish.
                                          I apologize for a soapbox speech and the fatigue it's causing your rolly-eye muscles. Just feel like it had to be said.
                                          I'm glad you said it. The posts about the OP's mom had me so mad last night I couldn't post because I couldn't gather my thoughts clearly. Especially the one that warned her to be wary of her own mother. Good grief. That just crosses all laws of decency .

                                          Comment

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