Need creative excuses,how to get out of the company picnic Sat,I want lesson instead!

[Ibex]

I think the fact that it's two hours away is enough of an excuse! That's nuts...

[fooler]

Just how important is your job at this time?

At my company, 3rd & 4th quarter is typically when personnel decisions seem to be completed. People have been laid off in the 4th quarter of the current year or first quarter of the upcoming year for the past decade.

Job security is decided by performance plus ability to get along with everyone, which includes the occasional after work get togethers.

Good advice offered by others to attend, stay for 1-2 hours before making your apologies to leave. Simply state you have other commitments, make nice and leave. As to attire, there are plenty of "beachy/pool" outfits available. Consider cropped pants, you can dangle your feet in the water, with an appropriate top such as a shirt over a nice tank. As n an outfit that moves from a "pool" party to another, unnamed engagement. Lots of summer clothing on sale at stores like Coldwater Creek, which seems to be everywhere.

Today I drove 1.5 hours, each way, for a work conference and team after work get together. Actually very productive as I met several upper level managers face2face. One manager setup a process and a contact on her team to help me resolve a month long issue. Totally unexpected benefit which made the very late arrival home worthwhile.

[LauraKY]

I've been to plenty of company parties with a pool available. I've never gone swimming except for the time I jumped in(with my clothes on) to pull out a kid who was going under for the 2nd or 3rd time. Her brilliant mother let her jump in the deep end and neither one could swim well.

If it was warm, I just wore nice shorts and a top, cooler, nice pants and a top. No biggie. I doubt many people go swimming.

[GotGait]

I stopped going to company parties when I found our resident creeper looking at a picture of me in my dress on his PC at work. It was the fact that every time I glanced over he was still looking at my picture - have no idea who took it - that totally squicked me out.

[2horseygirls]

SO.....what did you end up doing?!?!

[TBPONY]

SO.....what did you end up doing?!?!

Yes, tell us! Inquiring minds!

[Trakehner]

Suck it up, go to the party. If a single lesson is going to make a difference in your dressage class, you aren't ready to show at that level.

Just quit being a drama queen, suck it up and see it for what it is....a slightly better chance to keep your job. The same job that pays for your horse and life.

[Dewey]

COTH can always be counted upon to tell you what you don't want to hear.

so true!!

[PeteyPie]

OP, how did it go?

My advice, although I'm late to the topic, is to go to the party early so that you arrive Right On Time (which means you will be the first to arrive) with a big gorgeous bouquet of flowers for the hostess. Tell her that you did not want to miss the party but you have other obligations and have to leave at ____ o'clock, unfortunately, but it was really, really important to you to celebrate with them, at least a little. Ooh and Aah over the house, since you will probably get a tour, and treat yourself by enjoying the food. Then leave, making sure you thank your hosts. (I know you don't need that advice but some young readers might -- I'm surprised at some who come to parties and just leave when their parents arrive, without seeking out the hosts to thank them for the party and to say goodbye. To those kids: Just so you know, your friend did not throw the party, his parents did! AND they would like to know that you left safely with your family and did not wander off with a stranger...)

Then, be prepared with an excuse for the next company party. Have it all figured out in advance. I agree with others that you should avoid sickness or death as an excuse. In addition to reasons others have given, if you use a positive excuse it puts you in a good light as an active, interesting person. Rather than saying, "I have a migraine," or "I have the flu," or "My car broke down," it is much better to say, "Saturday the 20th? I am..."

-running an Ironman marathon that day

-taking a dressage clinic with Olympic medalist trainer ______

-hosting a 50th wedding anniversary celebration for my dear ______

-Power washing the barn and volunteer help has been lined up for weeks

-Taking my GMATs

-Assisting my friend's vet with a horse castration

-Baking six dozen cupcakes shaped like high heels for my niece's Sweet Sixteen party...

-Hosting my own party with my Gourmet Club or Hunt Club Breakfast, or Walking Dead ReCap Party (Ask, "Do you have any good Zombie Inspired dessert recipes? I'm bored with Lady Fingers."), or Breeder's Cup party.

-Going sailing with friends

The fact that you go to some of the company parties is good enough to show you as a team player. If you can't go occasionally, that is to be expected of anyone with a full life.

[BabyGreen]

I don't think we're going to hear from OP again on this.

[ybiaw]

Sorry....but you have to go to the company party. Take a lesson on another day. It's the right thing to do.

[FalseImpression]

she said she was able to reschedule the lesson, so I am pretty sure she went to the party and had a great time..

[FineAlready]

Wow! I'm obviously late to the party on this one, but I'm really shocked at how many people advocated lying to her employer, and I'm also shocked that those who didn't advocate lying cited the possibility of getting caught as the reason not to lie.

How about just don't lie to your employer because it is wrong? Not because you might get caught. Not because you already lied last week and it seems to soon to lie again. Good GRIEF! Just don't lie to your employer!

[Appsolute]

^^^ This, I am working on a project right now, in the process of my review, caught a co-worker from another office in a number of lies.

Now feel that I can't trust ANY THING this person says, his work will always be double and triple checked, and in short, he just made his working life much more difficult, not easier as he had hoped with his "fibs".

[Dewey]

From "The Burden of Deceit in Public Life" by Sissela Bok:

"People tend to have starkly diverging perspectives on what they see as defining lies and other forms of deceit, on the distinctions I have mentioned, as well as on the underlying moral questions, depending on whether they are thinking about engaging in deceit or believe they have been deceived. Most people value truthfulness more highly in others than when it comes to their own choices. When they find themselves on the receiving end of other people’s lies, they are far more suspicious of the underlying motives than when they consider possible lies of their own. When they do consider lying, they often take for granted that they have good reason to lie without stopping to consider the moral arguments for and against their action, much less to ask whether they could be defended in public.

The most serious mistake they make is to evaluate the costs and benefits of a particular lie or group of lies in an isolated case, and then to favor the lies if the benefits seem to outweigh the costs. Least of all do they take into account what I call three “hidden risks” -- apart from immediate costs to the persons deceived and others affected -- that ought also to enter into any serious weighing of pros and cons: risks to themselves; to their colleagues, profession, or line of work; and to trust.

The first hidden risk is the most difficult one of all for persons involved in deceit to perceive: the costs to themselves. Because liars tend to overestimate their own good will and their chances of escaping detection, they underestimate the damage to their reputation and their credibility once they are found to have lied. And if they do get away with lies at first, further psychological and moral barriers may wear down; they may come to see more and more lies to be needed and find fewer among them morally problematic. In the end, they may find it harder and harder to distinguish lies from half-truths or to confront the likelihood that the cobbled-together edifice will crumble."

http://www.massinc.org/Events/2006/0...blic-Life.aspx

[Equibrit]

I am of the opinion that it is unreasonable for an employer to expect any of his EMPLOYEES to give up their free time to attend a party at his home.

[harvestmoon]

I am of the opinion that it is unreasonable for an employer to expect any of his EMPLOYEES to give up their free time to attend a party at his home.

Seriously. Especially since it's 2 hours away. I'd just say, "Sorry, I can't make it."

[trubandloki]

Hey OP, you have been on. How was the party? Did you find a lesson time that worked for both you and your trainer? Update us.

[Coanteen]

I am of the opinion that it is unreasonable for an employer to expect any of his EMPLOYEES to give up their free time to attend a party at his home.

OP is a senior manager. At some companies that's expected. It's not "work", meaning OP could've said no, but it affects how the CEO will view OP.

I've attended plenty of after-work or weekend functions. Not because I'm afraid to be fired (no chance of that), but because I know my presence will be noted as a positive.

(as for illness-excuses, they work much better midweek than on or around a weekend. Anyone who has employees reporting to them learns the patterns of the Mon/Fri migraine/stomach flu/etc epidemic).

[FineAlready]

I am of the opinion that it is unreasonable for an employer to expect any of his EMPLOYEES to give up their free time to attend a party at his home.

Meh. I have to do "unpaid" things like this on weekends sometimes. I don't love it, but I do it. I'm a salaried employee in a professional career. That's how things go. But, regardless, if my employer made a request like this that I felt was an unreasonable burden, I would simply decline and state the reason why. For example, here, a very reasonable (and truthful) reason to not attend would have been that the OP is preparing for a horse show that weekend and therefore cannot make it. Or she could have simply stated that her weekend was already too packed with prior commitments to make four hours of driving and attendance at a party feasible. Also true.