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VENT: Why can't I be one of *those* people?

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  • #21
    Since I have a similar problem, dirt attractant, and showed by myself, I wore cover-up clothing. I would dress myself, breeches, boots, light shirt, belt, then put on my oversize T-shirt, and a pair of bib overalls. I then groomed the CLEAN horse, saddled, bridled, tucked the gloves into the gullet. Wiped horse face with towel, and stepped out of the overalls and pulled off the T-shirt. I put on my already numbered jacket and my helmet, and got on the horse. As time went on, this worked out pretty well, at all the venues where I NEEDED to look nice in my nice clothes, like Clinics, special lessons, and shows.

    And the "outer layer" went back on as quick as I dismounted from the horse, so I could STAY nice looking for other classes or second part of the Clinics. Yeah, it gets hot in summer heat, but better than the green slimes!

    I also did have a spare set of breeches and shirt, in case some disaster did happen, to change into. The outside protective layer is about the only way I can keep clean for competitions. And I move REAL fast when I am ready to get on the horse or into the carriage without that extra cover.

    I don't do the bun and hairnet thing. I French-braid my hair, clip up the tail at the back of my head so it isn't visible, and put the helmet on. My helmets have good ventilation, and keeping hair tight to the skull is LOTS cooler than fluffy hair. I have VERY curly hair, so braiding helps, and is cooler under my helmet. Fluffy gives MUCH more insulation, so you are actually hotter, than the tighter braided hair, inside your helmet. They do sell those cool-paks you can put inside the helmet, which are real helpful in cooling, but might make a cold spot on your head when frozen very hard. Better than passing out from the heat though!

    My husband is one of those who VERY seldom gets his nicer clothing dirty while preparing to compete or even just being around the equines. I think it is a genetic feature! He gets plenty dirty at work, doing other jobs around the place, but almost never gets slobbered on or rubbed by a dirty horse. They ALWAYS get me dirty, just walking by them!

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    • #22
      I do believe there is a conspiracy out there, and we have yet to find the origin of the cleanliness organization. They must have special genes (not jeans! LOL), and some kind of spray that they cover their bodies with that creates a shield from all the dirt that runs at the rest of us.

      Alternatively, this year I have finally given up - started to wear ball caps during my 1 hr each way trip to the new barn - with stops at the fruit stand/grocery store on the way home, hardware store/TS on the way up. I've been railroaded into a summer musical anyway where I have to wait in the heat in wool and leather, dressed like a man. And I have finally put my foot down to my hairdresser, who for the past 12 years has insisted I have those sexy, feminine bangs. NO! My hair is being grown out, and getting pulled back. I am an old lady now anyway. Get those scissors away!!

      And finally, I just this week bought my 1st bottle of Fabric-Tac, to try and turn 5 pair of 10-15 year old waiting-in-my-drawer, hole-covered-especially-between-the-legs, no-longer-in-production Liz Claiborne jeans, into 2-3 pr that maybe I could wear to the barn, or at least in the garden. The 2 pair of Lee jeans I bought last year are looking threatening since I've been using them for riding, weeding, lawn mowing, hiking, although they were a good buy at Kohls - the only reason I buy clothes at all anymore.

      Love your vents, Belltello! But I do believe it is a conspiracy.
      But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson

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      • Original Poster

        #23
        Originally posted by CVPeg View Post
        And finally, I just this week bought my 1st bottle of Fabric-Tac, to try and turn 5 pair of 10-15 year old waiting-in-my-drawer, hole-covered-especially-between-the-legs, no-longer-in-production Liz Claiborne jeans, into 2-3 pr that maybe I could wear to the barn, or at least in the garden.
        The fabric glue I use is Tear Mender. You can get it in the tarp section of tractor supply. This stuff is awesome! It dries clear and is super flexible and can go through the washing machine no problem. It also cleans up easily off of skin. (My inner thighs can attest to that!) I used it to repair the binding on a horse blanket and it's glued patches on plenty of jeans. It dries in about 3 minutes (if you don't load it on like I do!) and is machine washable in 15 minutes.

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        • #24
          I have a stack of t-shirts that are only reputable at 7 a.m. for feeding, barn chores, etc. I don't think it's actually possible to work around horses and not get dirty. For my hair, I wear a bandana folded like a thick headband. It keeps the sweat on my head and not in the hat, and looks okay when I get off, although it's sort of squished. It's fun to find various bandanas. My question - what do you do about socks? Where do you buy those so they are tall enough to wear under boots and don't cost a fortune.

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          • #25
            Originally posted by Belltello View Post
            The fabric glue I use is Tear Mender. You can get it in the tarp section of tractor supply. This stuff is awesome! It dries clear and is super flexible and can go through the washing machine no problem. It also cleans up easily off of skin. (My inner thighs can attest to that!) I used it to repair the binding on a horse blanket and it's glued patches on plenty of jeans. It dries in about 3 minutes (if you don't load it on like I do!) and is machine washable in 15 minutes.
            Ooh that's a great idea for blanket tears!

            I get all my tshirts off the clearance rack at Old Navy. I refuse to pay over 2.49 LOL, since their only use will be barn wear.

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            • #26
              Buy dark colored clothes - They hide the dirt and stains better.
              3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375 10582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706 79821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081 284811174502841027019385.....

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              • Original Poster

                #27
                Originally posted by 5 View Post
                Buy dark colored clothes - They hide the dirt and stains better.
                It wish this would be my solution, but with a light colored horse who sheds like my parent's retriever, I still come out looking filthy.

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                • #28
                  Originally posted by ladyfreckles View Post
                  I'm a working student and wear my tailored sportsmans all day long doing barn chores and they've held up for years. IMO, they're worth the investment. I own like 5 million pairs of jeans because I go through them so fast and wear through the crotch. I do find TS breeches to be worth any penny because they LAST. I still own a pair from 7 years ago though I out-grew them last year from weight gain.

                  It's an investment.

                  I'm one of "those people" too. Riding tights don't even last a full year for me, same with cheap breeches, because they wear through so quickly. Meanwhile I know people who ride daily in the same stuff and never get holes in them. I don't know how they do it. I just have a dedicated barn wardrobe that's been made through trial and error. One thing I have learned is that the good stuff lasts a lot longer than my cheap stuff ever has, with one exception being a pair of cheap ariat tall boots that lasted a very long time before they finally died.
                  Ugh, my TS breeches have never held up well at all. The crotches rip out pretty much immediately. I've had much better luck with euroseat breeches in general, and Ovation breeches in particular. I've also had decent luck with one of the cheaper Dover denim euroseat breeches.

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                  • #29
                    I am one of those people who manages to get dirty in my office clothes, at my desk. Clean around horses? Forget about it.
                    Team Ginger

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                    • #30
                      I believe I have a genetic predisposition to being a slob. Anything light-colored will get a stain on it, whether its barn clothes or office clothes. The fact that I wear white breeches for dressage shows is like playing with fire.

                      Back in my 4-H days, I was sitting down eating something for lunch between classes in my show clothes. Next thing I know, my horse sneezes dirt/snot all over my show shirt and tan breeches. At least the Grooming and Showmanship class was done at that point.
                      My May boys: Beau, Neon, Criss

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                      • #31
                        I don't know who they are, but they are also the ones that can wear a turtleneck and sweater INSIDE in the winter and not dissolve in a pool of lanolin scented sweat.
                        Originally posted by The Saddle
                        Perhaps I need my flocking adjusted.

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                        • #32
                          I hit up the local Salvation Army on 50% off the whole store Fridays to buy everyday barn clothes, LOL. My mare is a big cuddler and one of her favorite things to do is to wipe her sloppy mouth on my shoulder. I do have some nicer polos and riding tights I save for when I need to look more presentable at the barn (such as when I'm helping out at an event).

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                          • #33
                            >> I swear I just have no physical awareness to things that will make me dirty, since I spend 99% of my life covered in dirt. <<

                            I think you nailed it, I believe this is the reason I'm one of those who find it impossible to keep clean. I'm in awe of riders who can hose off their horse & still look clean. That seems as impossible to me as walking a high wire.

                            I just don't see dirt - or things that will make me dirty - unless someone points it out. And usually, except for office work or just before a show or clinic, I don't care about getting dirty. That's probably part of the secret too - the people who stay clean must care more than I seem to be able to!

                            Oh well, at least you know now you are not alone!

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                            • #34
                              Originally posted by Belltello View Post
                              And a mini-vent: Helmet hair. Wearing any helmet, whether it's the super light ovation or GPA first lady, turns my head into a sweaty disgusting rat's nest. While "those people" can take their helmet off and look like they're ready for a shampoo commercial. Meredith Michaels Beerbaum is a perfect example. If anyone has a solution for that, aside from shaving my head (which has had strong consideration), it would be very welcome!
                              I once saw MMB fall off Shutterfly on TV. He zigged, and she zagged. She totally hit the dirt. She stood up, took off her helmet, tossed her hair once, and calmly walked out of the arena looking like she'd just stepped out of a riding clothes catalog.

                              It has to be genetic. There's no other explanation. When I fall off, half of the arena footing winds up on me, with probably 10% of that somehow INSIDE my helmet.

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                              • #35
                                Some people are lucky enough to be ScotchGuarded at birth.

                                Alas, I am not one of the lucky few.

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                                • #36
                                  Lol!!! I want to be one of *those* people too, but I'm just like you. I want to be one of *those* people whose lives look like Pinterest, with the tidy wardrobe and the Quinoa and Kale smoothies and the shiny decorated homes and perfect hair under all circumstances, at the barn and otherwise.

                                  Despite my efforts, I'm more of the I Love Lucy type. I'm the person who will not only get dirty, but comically dirty.

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #37
                                    Originally posted by dressagetraks View Post
                                    I once saw MMB fall off Shutterfly on TV. He zigged, and she zagged. She totally hit the dirt. She stood up, took off her helmet, tossed her hair once, and calmly walked out of the arena looking like she'd just stepped out of a riding clothes catalog.

                                    It has to be genetic. There's no other explanation. When I fall off, half of the arena footing winds up on me, with probably 10% of that somehow INSIDE my helmet.
                                    Two words: Arena Boogers

                                    I ride and there is there magnetic attraction of dust particles and my nasal passages. Instead of a riding clothes model, I look more like Booger Ben from the Garbage Pail Kids.

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      Originally posted by Belltello View Post
                                      Two words: Arena Boogers

                                      I ride and there is there magnetic attraction of dust particles and my nasal passages. Instead of a riding clothes model, I look more like Booger Ben from the Garbage Pail Kids.
                                      Arena Boogers are the best. They are like proclaiming "I did something today! I didn't do it right, but at least I tried!" Flaunt them proudly.

                                      My favorite is when you still find dirt in your teeth a week AFTER you've fallen off... even though you brush twice a day. Nothing like subtle reminders of moments of ineptitude!

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                                      • #39
                                        My horses must be exceptionally clean. And I must be one of those people. Sorry...
                                        COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                                        "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl

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                                        • #40
                                          I'm always a mess, particularly my red face and sweaty hair, despite wearing the coolest helmet I can find (being hotheaded seems to run in my family).

                                          But, for the stains and goobers, Tide stain remover and/or Oxyclean work wonders. I also have mostly darkish coloured riding clothes and save the very light colours for the hottest days.

                                          I tend to wash my tops frequently but I wear my breeches, albeit dark coloured, until they are dirty enough to stand up on their own.

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