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Spinoff from "weird things your horses do" - what about weird things your PEOPLE do??

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  • Spinoff from "weird things your horses do" - what about weird things your PEOPLE do??

    She thinks I'm weird? She should talk! And she DOES!

    Every day, it's yadayadayada what went on in lab. I'm going to law school, and I'm not doing patent law, so I. Don't. Care. What I DO care about is how many of those treats in your green tub you are going to give up.

    And know what else? She takes bites of my treats before I get them! Like, is she buying me stuff she has to test out first? Where does she buy her food??? Hell's Kitchen? I NEVER get a rice Krispie treat square that doesn't have a chunk taken out of it. Sometimes my peeps are missing their heads. For the Palmer's marshmallow pops, she picks off the crunchy icing eyes and stuff. She picks the raisins out of the raisin bran crunch. Half the soft peppermint treats go in her mouth.

    Does she think I don't know this? At least she stays away from my hay and grain. But sheesh.
    Special Horses - equine volunteer to assist equines in need!

  • #2
    Poor Ted. Harry says that's why he sticks to Dumors because they are unappealing to humans so he gets the whole treat. He says there is a method to his madness but I am not convinced. lol:
    ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
    ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
    ';;;;;;; clique
    //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!


    • #3
      Misty,Sable and Patches want to know why their mom keeps fixing the fence, they say they aren't going anywhere, just out to the yard because the grass is greener, they said what is her problem, she acts like she owns the place.
      They are also quite disgusted with her idea of a good time, why in the world would she think we want to go anywhere.They are pleased however that she insists on riding bitless, thats a hoot and sometimes does turn out to be fun.
      They have become alarmed at her idea that they want to talk to her, we are chatting amongst ourselves and she butts into the conversation.


      • #4
        Paris wants to know why every time I groom her, I drop whatever brush it is I'm handling.
        Horsey Stick Art clique
        Crayolaposse~ SparklyLime
        PPP Grand-Poobah


        • #5
          I want to know why my mom always seems surprised when I "lighten up" while standing in the crossties. I mean, really. She's going to climb on me, and I have a chance to lighten up by a few pounds? Why not? She snaps me up, and by the time she's cleaned my feet, I've pooped. And then I step back into it. We always do this. Why isn't she ready with the scooper?

          And I also can't figure out why she can't pick blackberries faster. We walk down the trail, and I have to wait while she picks them for me. I tried to pick them myself, but they were prickly. So now I wait. And sometimes she takes some for herself. I licked her hand one day to let her know I should have them all, but she .... she ate them anyway! Get your own food, I say.



          • #6
            Sheesh! Where do I start?! *MY* Mom has to be one of the weirdest!

            OK...who else has to put up with this?! My Mom smushes my nose between her palms then kisses my muzzle. She's lucky I'm such a nice guy!

            And *WHY* does she insist that I refrain from eating while on a trail ride?! I am just trying to make sure the trail stays clear of excess foliage, AND I need my strength to tote her around! Grabbing a few bites, *to go* of course, serves a dual purpose! She's lucky I'm such a nice guy.

            And speaking of hoof picking. I just LOVE to...umm...provide some aromatherapy when Mom picks my back feet, he he he. She *ALWAYS* says "Thank You Jake" and pats my butt...(as I snicker behind her back).

            Yep, she's lucky I'm such a nice guy because she is a weirdo !

            And Ted, I'm glad my Mom doesn't cheat me on my treats...although I now must wonder why the wrappers to the granola bars appear to be several times larger than the piece that I get...you don't suppose...? Man, she is SO busted!


            • #7
              Harry says he also has a "fart button" installed in his L hind foot... the "Poop Button" is in R hind foot. I think the farrier is in on it too.
              ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
              ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
              ';;;;;;; clique
              //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!


              • #8
                Well, my mom shares my apples with me, but I don't mind. It's kind of our thing

                Uh...she likes to grab my ears and pretend she's driving a motorcycle. Sound effects included. Is that weird?


                • #9
                  <Linny channels Titus for a moment>

                  I'm with Ted. What is with her eating peppermints? She also likes to grab my ears, what's with THAT? At least she doesn't make motorcycle sounds.

                  It also drives me crazy when she blathers as she puts the hind leg straps on my blanket. Of course I know where she is, I can see her back there. And besides, I've never kicked anything...sheesh...such lack of trust.

                  On the other hand I love it when she brings her little boy to the barn. He livens things up. When we trot in the indoor, he trots too! He's still working on leads. Geez at eight years old too... Sometimes he even jumps the jumps! The good thing is that when he's there, she's usually pretty quick about the work and I get to stand around with the kid petting me.
                  The little guy spoils me and brushes me and hugs me and doesn't chatter about leg straps and how heavy the saddle is. I know how heavy the d@mned saddle is, it sits on my back. It's not like she's some waif either, geez!
                  Last edited by Linny; Nov. 7, 2008, 06:11 PM.
                  F O.B
                  Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
                  Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique


                  • #10
                    Andy's rant

                    My mom is so wierd. She doesn't like to jump or go fast, which are things I LOFF to do and do WELL, as a former eventing horse.

                    It's so unfair. We are in a lesson and I have to stand there and watch the other horses do so BADLY what I can do so WELL. Paw, stomp, XXXXX#####!!!!!

                    Wait, finally, they're letting her JUMP me. See, other horses, I can jump HIGHER and FASTER than you! What do you mean, I was just supposed to trot that line. I can go way up in the air, even over a small cavaletti. Whee!



                    • #11
                      Ugh, my mom was being soo annoying yesterday.

                      I had an early appointment with my chiropractor and was getting some acupuncture as well. I didn't even get to get turned out yet so I was a little angry. I didn't mind the adjustment, I felt better afterward and the guy did say I was cute. But then he kept sticking needles in my neck and one in my rump. I kept trying to shake them out of my neck but my stupid mom kept telling me no. Ugh.

                      And she's always so particular on how things fit. So fussy.

                      Oh well, at least she brought my some treats today while I was out in the pasture.


                      • #12
                        RICO: Welll MY mom thinks she's an alpha mare all of a sudden. When I try to chase Trav out of his stall to finish his feed, she just stands there in the way and won't let me! And now she's even started brushing me EVERY DAY! Sheesh... what's up with that? She knows I hate it. And last weekend she started pulling out my MANE!!! WTF?????

                        TRAV: Please explain to me why having my feet picked out has to be a pre-requisite to getting a treat? And what's with the blanket? And all of a sudden you want ground manners again? I thought we had all that resolved 10 years ago? What do you mean I can't rub on your back? Since when? I have to wait for a stupid towel? Jeessh, lady, then get the dang towel because I want to rub!
                        Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
                        Witherun Farm


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by talkofthetown View Post
                          Uh...she likes to grab my ears and pretend she's driving a motorcycle. Sound effects included. Is that weird?
                          OMG, I need a video of this.
                          Adversity is the stone on which I sharpen my blade.


                          • #14
                            Orbit's Rant

                            I just want to know Mom--
                            What's up with the freakin fat, blind, potbellied pig that you let move into my barn????
                            You know I hate pigs, and here you've not only let one onto the farm that you say you and Dad bought for me to retire and grow old(er) on, but you LET HIM LIVE IN MY BARN!!!!! NOT JUST MY BARN, BUT HE'S IN MY STALL!!!! Granted, I don't like my stall, but that's beside the point.
                            Fine-- if you insist that the pig live here, I shall now require large amounts of tranquilizer in order to be able to set foot into the barn for any reason. In fact, I shall require tranquilizer if you want me to be more than fifteen feet from my pasture gate.

                            And Mom-- I'm really sorry I ran out of my stall and out the barn door into the dark that one morning and ran over to the neighbor's house... I promise not to ever try that again, I know you were scared something bad was gonna happen to me.

                            I HATE being old-- I know I earned retirement after over 100 lifetime starts on the track and over 15 years of being a outriding and pony horse, but I LOVE working!!!
                            Last edited by pinkdiamondracing; Nov. 8, 2008, 02:20 PM.
                            The only difference between a runaway and a fast gallop is nothing but a SMILE
                            Most horses cross the Rainbow Bridge, but TEDDY JUMPED IT!!!
                            Member of the COTH Enabler Clique


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by pinkdiamondracing View Post
                              I just want to know Mom--
                              What's up with the freakin fat, blind, potbellied pig that you let move into my barn????
                              You know I hate pigs, and here you've not only let one onto the farm that you say you and Dad bought for me to retire and grow old(er) on, but you LET HIM LIVE IN MY BARN!!!!! NOT JUST MY BARN, BUT HE'S IN MY STALL!!!!

                              Laughed so loud co-workers came to check on me!
                              Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
                              Witherun Farm


                              • Original Poster

                                I hate when she kisses my muzzle sometimes, especially when the other horses can see. And I hate that she calls me "Pumpkin Butt." I know who has a pumpkin butt in our family, and It Ain't Me.
                                Special Horses - equine volunteer to assist equines in need!


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by ybiaw View Post
                                  OMG, I need a video of this.
                                  No way!!!


                                  • #18
                                    Since hooves smoosh the keyboard I am typing for them:

                                    I am 26yo for cryinoutloud!
                                    You'd think by now she'd realize I do NOT do grooming
                                    No, I do not like being covered in crusted-on dried mud.
                                    But I also do not have to stand still for that metal torture device she calls a shedding blade...well, at least not without some nasty-looking faces!
                                    See the chunk I took outta the stall wall? That coulda been YOU!

                                    And Helllloooooo! If you feed me I am going to poop, so quit with the exasperated face while you make your pathetic attempt to get behind me with the fork in time to catch all of it - Like that could happen!

                                    And while we're talking feed: one measly cutup apple in my feedpan hardly qualifies as a treat, it barely fills one tooth!
                                    BTW: don't think you can hide poison in that apple either - there's not enough molasses on Earth to cover up the taste!

                                    I am aware I have four feet, what's the deal with having to pick them up?
                                    Then I have to hold them where? For how long??

                                    And I wish she'd stop giving me the Primo hay - I get to eat about half a flake before the Old Guy catches on & evicts me from the stall. Funny...when I go into his stall that hay tastes pretty much the same...

                                    And this bareback thing...What's up with that?
                                    Doesn't she realize it's kinda oogy having her butt right on my back?
                                    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                                    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                                    Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                                    Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015