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New neighbors. :(

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  • #21
    I agree with taking something directly to them......I am not much of a social butterfly and like to be left alone when at home, but I usually find that once I have overcome MY inner angst about having to meet/greet someone, it's always a pretty pleasant experience...................BEING nice makes you FEEL nice!...lol....

    and, is it possible for them to feed the horses an occasional, "mom approved" treat?.........if so, maybe include a box/bag of those treats with instructions for how frequently they may be given?

    letting them develop an understanding and a relationship (even if just over the fence) could prove to be of major benefit in an emergency, or at least keeping a wary eye on your horses

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    • #22
      Sounds to me like you have new neighbors with a nice kid

      Kids are not the greatest communicators and by saying he was going to feed them apples he was probably really saying he would like to get to know horses.

      Seems to me, a nice teenage boy is a good thing to have when you need some extra helping hands. He may be feeling lonely and isolated in a rural neighborhood.

      This is an opportunity, your curmudgeonly nature aside, to cultivate a rewarding relationship ( that works both ways)
      _\\]
      -- * > hoopoe
      Procrastinate NOW
      Introverted Since 1957

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      • #23
        I just wanted to add... when I was about six years old and had recently moved to NH, I discovered a horse lived down the road from me. For a week or two I haunted that horse--I didn't actually go up and give her treats or anything, but I was constantly just sitting on a log watching her. The owner of the mare noticed me and while she could have just shooed me away, she was very kind. She taught me how to give her treats, called my parents and asked them if it was okay for me to learn how to brush her, and tolerated my dropping by all the time. I was perfectly happy grooming her horse for her, mucking out the pasture, and shucking corn, too. She also made it clear that I was welcome to come over and visit the horse when she was around, but not to go into the paddock or anything like that without her being there to supervise. Looking back at it now, I'm sure it was a pain in the arse to have an overly enthusiastic little kid popping out of the woods to pet her horse constantly, but I hugely appreciate her kindness and tolerance now, because that's where my love of horses started.

        So not saying at all that the OP has to be as accommodating to a teenage boy as this woman was to me, and I totally respect her need for privacy, but even just little gestures can sometimes be extremely meaningful to a shy kid who has never had the chance to be around horses.
        "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

        Graphite/Pastel Portraits

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        • #24
          Good neighbors are precious. Be thankful you have these and try to be a good neighbor yourself. That doesn't mean you have to let them feed your horses whenever and whatever they please. Nurture a cordial relationship with them. You don't have to be their bestest friend in the whole world, but being neighborly doesn't cost anything and can pay off. Things like having them care enough to call the police if they see someone sneaking in your fields or barn, or calling you if one of your horses gets loose.

          StG

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          • #25
            Originally posted by StGermain View Post
            Good neighbors are precious. Be thankful you have these and try to be a good neighbor yourself. That doesn't mean you have to let them feed your horses whenever and whatever they please. Nurture a cordial relationship with them. You don't have to be their bestest friend in the whole world, but being neighborly doesn't cost anything and can pay off. Things like having them care enough to call the police if they see someone sneaking in your fields or barn, or calling you if one of your horses gets loose.

            StG
            This! We had a nice pack of teenage boys down the street who ended up being wonderful horse sitters when I was gone at shows. They were kind and probably the most responsible teenagers I've ever met. They would call me at the drop of a hat if anything seemed odd and always followed instructions to the letter. First the oldest helped me out, then it passed to the middle boy, then the youngest. We were very spoiled, now that they're all grown up and out on their own I had to go hunting for someone new... Thats not an easy task! Nice kids usually don't come from jerk parents so be thankful you got good ones! With the horror stories I've read here I know I do!

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            • #26
              Originally posted by hoopoe View Post
              Sounds to me like you have new neighbors with a nice kid

              Kids are not the greatest communicators and by saying he was going to feed them apples he was probably really saying he would like to get to know horses.

              Seems to me, a nice teenage boy is a good thing to have when you need some extra helping hands. He may be feeling lonely and isolated in a rural neighborhood.

              This is an opportunity, your curmudgeonly nature aside, to cultivate a rewarding relationship ( that works both ways)
              This is exactly what I thought. The kid was thinking he was doing something good. Kid thinks sharing and giving is good, so giving horses a treat is good. Flawed reasoning, but kind thought. Buy some cookie dough, bake it (and have your house smell lovely), take them over and meet them. Somebody did something good for you when you were a kid. Pay it forward, curmudgeon lady. ;-)
              http://www.camstock.net/

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              • #27
                Yup. I'd reverse that parenthesis in your thread title to change it to:
                New Neighbors :-)

                What a great opportunity to establish a friendly relationship WHILE also establishing the rules and explaining them. Doesn't mean you have to have them over every weekend. No matter how nicey-nice the written note, it can convey a negative message that you don't intend and will be hard to erase. C'mon you can do it, I promise the visit won't be as bad as you think

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                • #28
                  Originally posted by HungarianHippo View Post
                  Yup. I'd reverse that parenthesis in your thread title to change it to:
                  New Neighbors :-)

                  What a great opportunity to establish a friendly relationship WHILE also establishing the rules and explaining them. Doesn't mean you have to have them over every weekend. No matter how nicey-nice the written note, it can convey a negative message that you don't intend and will be hard to erase. C'mon you can do it, I promise the visit won't be as bad as you think
                  I'd give anything for a decent neighbor! We had an ASS HAT for 14 years.
                  Go enjoy. Heck at least to get to make cookies!

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                  • #29
                    Dream Fence against neighbors:

                    14' solid rock wall, all the way around my pastures and property.

                    I did have a neighbor who did this and the horse would hang out around the fence and would be IN THE FENCE hanging out waiting for drama from the occupants, and or food, pushed the fence down. I finally had to put up a hot wire, new mesh, and then eventually moved him to a different pasture. But he never forgot the free food. He was very obese, they wouldn't stop feeding him, yes without my permission, and a do not trespass sign right there. Then they moved. But still he hung out and begged for food. He was eventually struck by lightening in the same spot years later.

                    I detest neighbors. Next property right away we are putting in eleagnus bushes. They grow huge, wide and giant and never shed their leaves!

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                    • #30
                      Originally posted by Justa Bob View Post
                      And you can go over WHY feeding your horses is not good and ask them to let others know and help you keep the horses safe and living. When you ask for help in that small way, you might get more cooperation.

                      This is a GREAT way to address it! Especially if you mention how relieved you are to have neighbors so concerned about the welfare of your horses. Puts a positive spin on things, and the compliment gives extra incentive to live up to that expectation.
                      Proud member of the Snort and Blow Clique

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                      • #31
                        I'm the new neighbor with the 'cute baby horse'... last weekend the neighbors grandson came over and introduced himself. Very polite, was very impressed as I don't like kids either... and was floored when he asked if he could feed the horses carrots from their garden. *awkward* I actually felt bad for saying no, explained that one of the horses is 'diabetic' and can't have treats because it is not good for his health and has to have special feed.

                        Needless to say I had left over cooking carrots in the fridge for the horses, actually remembered to take them outside and feed them to the horses, and found out the 'diabetic' horse doesn't even like carrots... oops. (I don't feed him treats as he can be mouthy and I don't want to make it any worse)

                        I wouldn't mind if it was one carrot every once in a while but A) the fence is electric B) I don't want the liability of the horses possibly biting off a finger C) fatty doesn't need it D) 'baby horse' sees and learns and I don't want her to ever figure out she can get the upper hand on a human, therefore her exposure to 'non horse people' is strictly supervised and limited AND E) 'feeding carrots' is not quantity specific ie one carrot per horse a week or take 50# of fresh just dug up carrots and dump them over the fence.

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                        • #32
                          My only thing to add is please don't leave a note, in person is so much more personable. Notes seem passive aggressive even when they are written with the best intentions!
                          Fillys By Vibank - 2017 Road to RRP
                          https://www.youtube.com/user/jealoushe

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                          • #33
                            I agree that a note is not that way to go. Even if you go empty handed (but would it kill you to go buy some muffins or a plant ) If you start the conversation with a compliment about what a nice polite boy they are raising they will be putty in your hands.

                            Just let them know you met him, how nice he was and that you told him about the feeding issues and just want to pass that on to the parents as well, together with the fact that the fence is electric and you don't want anyone to get hurt, etc.

                            You have a golden opportunity to cultivate a good relationship here. Suppress your inner curmudgeon for 20 minutes!

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                            • #34
                              Originally posted by SarahandSam View Post
                              My horse would take an apple from anyone over a gaping pit to hell.

                              "
                              Hahahahhahahah- we must have the same horses!!!!!!! Mine can easily judge where the fence is in relation to the treat...and is quite willing to push the limit lol
                              Kerri

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                              • #35
                                I am looking forward to the update from the OP so we can hear how the visit to the neighbors went.

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                                • #36
                                  Our one set of horseless neighbors brought over fresh bread - a bread making machine is a great thing. The others we waited until we saw them outside one day weed wacking and just walked up and said hello, asked about their horses, and GOT THEIR PHONE #, just in case of incidents. When we brought our horses home and there was a great deal of calling across fencelines we called them to let them know that we now had a nice gelding, just noisy, and could they recommend a farrier, and we also get together with them and buy our hay.

                                  There is frozen cookie dough in most every grocery store and maybe Katarine might be prevailed upon to come over for a cookie bearing mission, if she is more comfortable with people . . .
                                  Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                                  Incredible Invisible

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                                  • Original Poster

                                    #37
                                    Originally posted by trubandloki View Post
                                    I am looking forward to the update from the OP so we can hear how the visit to the neighbors went.
                                    Well, ever since I've basically been flogged because I didn't want my choke prone horses fed by very polite children, I haven't been very inclined to post. BUT...
                                    Since I'm not out in that area of the pasture every day, yesterday was the first day I've seen them again. Neither of the parents seem interested in conversation but I did get the man (father, I guess) to speak. I didn't mention the feeding since he already seemed irritated. The boy had said they were having problems with the carburetor on their 4 wheeler and I was trying to offer him (the father) some cleaner if he wanted it.

                                    He kind of chilled after I complimented him on his kids (they really are polite - yes sir, yes mam, etc). I told him my name and said let me know if they ever needed anything. He never told me his name. His kid later told me that they were going to use my house as their storm shelter. Ummmm, no.
                                    "Dogs are man's best friend. Cats are man's adorable little serial killer." -- theoatmeal.com

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                                    • #38
                                      LOL oh boy.

                                      Just tell the nice young kid that your horses will get very sick if they eat anything that you don't give them. Turn your Kid Radar on so that you have an inkling when they're around, talk to the kid when you can. Most kids are pretty impressionable and he sounds at least that, if not totally intimidated. Just say hey, I appreciate the thought but let's not, they'll get sick.

                                      And then say please don't use my house as your storm shelter too k thanx bye... LOL

                                      'bama it's your Fear Factor come to be your neighbor! I'm sure you won't have any problems, just put out those little boundaries when you can.
                                      “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey

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                                      • #39
                                        LOL about the storm shelter. I probably wouldn't worry too much about that one. I'm currently learning from my SOs kids that they hear things and construe the weirdest stories that have nothing to do with what was actually said. It always blows my mind

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                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by alabama View Post
                                          Well, ever since I've basically been flogged because I didn't want my choke prone horses fed by very polite children, I haven't been very inclined to post. BUT...
                                          Since I'm not out in that area of the pasture every day, yesterday was the first day I've seen them again. Neither of the parents seem interested in conversation but I did get the man (father, I guess) to speak. I didn't mention the feeding since he already seemed irritated. The boy had said they were having problems with the carburetor on their 4 wheeler and I was trying to offer him (the father) some cleaner if he wanted it.

                                          He kind of chilled after I complimented him on his kids (they really are polite - yes sir, yes mam, etc). I told him my name and said let me know if they ever needed anything. He never told me his name. His kid later told me that they were going to use my house as their storm shelter. Ummmm, no.
                                          Hmm Well you tried. Good on you. Sounds like a bit of a grump.
                                          Hopefully you can just get the kids since they are nice to not feed said horses.
                                          Go figure with people huh?

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