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Would you feel comfortable letting your child take a lesson with a gay trainer?

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  • Original Poster
    #21
    Eventable...you've been great thanks!

    I dont know why Im awake, all too soon its going to be time to feed the horses, lol

    Comment

    • #22
      Clearly, I'm in the same boat as you. I want to start training profesionaly but am afraid that people will not accept me for me.

      Comment

      • Original Poster
        #23
        alterriffic, its nice to know im not alone.

        PT me if you want to talk!!

        Comment

        • #24
          In my book it does not matter what someone's sexual orientation is so long as it is not a recurrent discussion piece nor is it recurrent visual piece. How I and others feel about homosexuality does not matter in that context. The only thing that matters is whether or not you are a good trainer. That being said, I might be a bit uncomfortable if you were extremely flamboyent, but I'm uncomfortable with most PDA as it is.

          If you care half as much about your clientele and their best interests as you do about offending someone, I'm sure you're a great trainer. Good luck.
          Diana

          Comment

          • #25
            As a parent, I can honestly say it wouldn't bother me. I'm not bringing my child to you for sex lessons, and I'm certain as a professional (straight, bi or gay), sex wouldn't be a topic of conversation on your average lesson day.

            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> *Unless, that person acted inappropriate, as in hitting on boarders/lessonees, showing to much affection to your significant other in front of children. But, this goes for ANY trainer, be they straight or otherwise.

            </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

            That's what I'm talking about!



            County..."being gay isn't contagious"...that's great! ...and if people think it is, they're just small-minded bafoons!
            =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
            ~Jilltx~

            Comment

            • #26
              I have 3 kids and 5 grand kids and it wouldn't bother me at all. Being gay isn't contagious.
              Quality doesn\'t cost it pays.

              Comment

              • Original Poster
                #27
                PrincessDi-Its not something I will open up with "hi nice to meet you, I'm gay." I just dont want to deny it, if the question was ever asked.

                I can assure you I am professional, and it's not something that would come up all the time.

                haha county...that is a good saying. I should pass that along to my mom, who is convinced Im gay because I went to a single sex college...

                Comment

                • #28
                  Not a problem at all, wouldn't have even occurred to me to have misgivings. In the list of things that I'd want to have, or not have, in a trainer, sexual preference... isn't!
                  Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you? You are at your very best when things are worst.
                  Starman

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster
                    #29
                    I just want to clarify something...because of some PTs I got and such:

                    I dont think my clients need to know and Im certainly not going to say "Welcome to my barn, Im gay."

                    It's more like, if i was asked straight out, are you gay, I just dont want to deny it. Then Im sure the parents will start to talk.

                    I am professional, and it never has to come up in conversation, it's more of an "what if" question.

                    thanks again for all of your replies

                    Comment

                    • #30
                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Alterriffic:
                      Clearly, I'm in the same boat as you. I want to start training profesionaly but am afraid that people will not accept me for me. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                      Me too (not an alter)! I have taught all kinds of classes to people over the years. From reptile and parrot care to metaphysics. I also help people rehabilitate their foundered horses.

                      I think over a short period of time it becomes obvious that my orientation is ah......not like most peoples. It has NEVER been a problem!! Most people you see more than a few times will begin to ask about your personal life and/or your "husband". I will chuckle and tell them I have a "wife" named Staci instead - and I have never had students drop out of classes because of it.

                      I have had students tell me they thought I was brave and thats part of why they stayed (I certainly don't feel brave, but I don't like to fib). I find that most people like "real" teachers.

                      So, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's a non-issue really. I find that the more comfortable I AM with my "gayness", the more comfortable people around me will be. Actually, I just expect people to handle it well, and they have always met my expectations!!

                      Good luck to you my dear!! I wish you the best of all things.


                      Kim
                      Aphrodite, Claudia and Dante\'s Mom

                      Comment

                      • #31
                        I was with a trainer for years who was is a lesbian. It wasn't generally a problem. She taught my kids to ride. Sometimes the discussion got a little more than PG and I didn't really like that but I wouldn't have been real comfortable if it had be hetero banter either, if my kids were around. A bunch of us went horse shopping in Europe. I think the European sleeping arrangements made some people uncomfortable. But I was usually to tired to be freaked out
                        See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

                        Comment

                        • #32
                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by morgansnmind:
                          Hard to say..I don't have kids

                          But for me I won't ride or board at a local stables because the owner and trainer there are known to be gay and they hit on other non-gay people. That is an uncomfortable situation. No I wouldn't let my kids ride there either. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                          Would you feel the same if someone ate Tripe on a regular basis? ( not that I have ever eaten Tripe only because it grosses me out just thinking of what it is)....Do you know from personel experiance or just rummor control that 'they hit on non gay ppl'?
                          That said I do not care if you dance nekkid under the full moon in 4 feet of snow while whowling at it if you are a proficiant and good trainer that is what counts.
                          Friend of bar .ka

                          Comment

                          • #33
                            I have two young girls that take riding lessons. The only problem I would have with them taking lessons from a gay instructor is if that instructor flaunted their sexual preference around. Actually it wouldn't matter to me if you were gay or not...I am not into the public displays of affection. I maybe old fashioned, but I still think some things are better left in the privacy of your own home.

                            That said, I would let my kids take lessons from you. Just keep personal *things* out of the barn!

                            BTW...this has nothing to do with my fear of you *going after* my children. In my mind that person would be a sexual predator and not some one who had a particular sexual preference for one gender or another. I just don't think some things are appropriate behavior in public.

                            Anyway...my 2 cents!

                            Elizabeth
                            Member of the OTTB Clique, Re-Riders Clique and the Thread Killer Clique.

                            http://community.webshots.com/user/esimison

                            Comment

                            • #34
                              I have children and have absolutely no issues sending them to work with any good trainer. I don't care who the trainer sleeps with or what their "lifestyle" is. (and why do they refer to being gay as a lifestyle? As if it's chosen?)

                              Although...I have noticed that some folks who have absolutely no issues with gay males do have issues with gay females. That's never made sense to me.

                              To the OP...give your parents time...I would hope that your mom relaxes over time and realizes that you are still you and that you aren't going to hell for being in love. Meanwhile, surround yourself with those who care for you...and if folks don't like your "lifestyle"...well then neener neener to them.
                              You jump in the saddle,
                              Hold onto the bridle!
                              Jump in the line!
                              ...Belefonte

                              Comment

                              • #35
                                Are you an HONEST trainer, competent to do what you are doing (training, teaching, sales/leases), sincerely looking out for the welfare of the horses in your care and your clients' best interests?

                                That's all you need to worry about, period, end of story.
                                Inner Bay Equestrian
                                Facebook
                                KERx

                                Comment

                                • #36
                                  Homophobic...what a load of BS. Just because someone finds the homosexual behaviours as disgusting and not healthy and perverted...they are not "phobic". A phobia is an "exagerated usu. inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object or class of objects".

                                  100% of male child molestors are homosexual males..is it irrational to not want boys around a sodomite who sees them as a sex object? One of the parts of "The Vagina Monologues" deals with a lesbian raping a minor...but this child rape is considered OK. Homosexual males and females die younger and have a high incidence of STD's.

                                  It isn't phobic to not want your kids around a pervert adult who potentially sees them as a potential sex object and who's lifestyle is dysfunctional.

                                  So, nope, don't want kids around deviants who have time alone with them apart from the parent (lesbians at overnight horse shows, homosexual scout leaders at camp outs, paedofile priests doing their "thing").
                                  "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"

                                  Comment

                                  • #37
                                    I would just live my life. You wouldn't need to announce you are straight, so why announce you are gay? Most people are not rude enough to ask " Are you straight?", so I would treat the "Are you gay" question like any other rude irrelevant question... ignore it, or look surprised and say " I'm shocked you would ask such a thing". You will only lose the people you most likely don't want to be around anyway.

                                    Comment

                                    • #38
                                      I fortunately now have adult children but back when I would not want my children in a business environment where an employee, what ever the sex or orientation , would use a work place to further their criminal love life with a minor child.
                                      it is not what they are it is what one as an individual does.
                                      more hay, less grain

                                      Comment

                                      • #39
                                        I couldn't care less if you're gay or not. But having been around horses for a long, long time I've known lots of gay horsepeople. Seems like there are a lot of openly gay people in the horse world. If I had kids, it wouldn't bother me a bit.

                                        BUT, in my experience most of the general population shows some degree of homophobia. My DH was quite repulsed by gays when I first met him. Now 2 of our best friends are gay and DH is the first to jump somebody's sh** if they make an anti-gay comment. His usual response is "Why does it bother you? Are you uncomfortable with your own sexuality?" It's rather funny coming from a redneck type in jeans and a cut off t-shirt.

                                        I think whether or not it will affect your career depends on what level you teach/train as well as the region of the country. If you're teaching beginners in the Bible Belt it could present a problem. Upper level riders in NY or California probably won't bat an eye.

                                        Comment

                                        • #40
                                          I have NO problem with my daughter training with a gay trainer! I always based my choices more on the knowledge and professionalism of the individual than their sexual orientation. A person's sexuality - gay or straight - has NO place in a professional training situation. A student is there to learn and advance their skills...that's all.
                                          www.perfectponies.com

                                          Comment

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