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Dear Pocket Trainer:

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  • <<GASP. Snort. Guffaw. Sniffle. Snuffle. Snort.>>

    Memo to self: Do NOT read posts like BH1's and PT's response while attempting to look busy at work. The bizarre sounds one makes in an effort to contain the laughter just draws more attention.

    ***** I muck, therefore I am. *****
    Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!

    Comment


    • Dear Pocket Trainer,

      Well you did it. You charmed and amused me. I am in awe, so much so that I fell I really must meet you.

      However it would require you come visit the OTHER West Coast, namely Washington State.

      I assure you I could treat you to the finest Chateau St Michelle has to offer.

      I just have not been so tickled in so long.

      A humble and amused fan.

      _\\]
      -- * > hoopoe
      The ancient Greeks did not write obituaries. They only wanted to know if you had a passion.
      _\\]
      -- * > hoopoe
      Procrastinate NOW
      Introverted Since 1957

      Comment


      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pocket Trainer:
        Dear Sister to a Sinner:

        Hypothetically speaking, would your sister's body fit into the plastic storage thingie?

        As always, Pocket Trainer recommends a 1996 Grove Mill Sauvignon Blanc when watching "Double Indemnity" and jotting down useful notes...
        <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

        Dear Freakin' Pocket Trainer:

        You and your hoity-toity minions. The black storage trunk at Walmart was $39.98 and, once installed with a collapsible, three-section laundry hamper (which neatly tucked inside) I can contain all of my show gear without spending a fortune. The lovely matte finish, asphalt-toned PVC material--of which the trunk is constructed-- is deftly hid beneath my monogrammed trunk cover. So what if I have to prop the thing up on six-inch blocks of wood so that it matches the configurations of the other tack trunks in the aisle? So what if everything inside smells faintly of high tech plastics? I have learned to save a buck when I can.

        I encourage you to embrace the humanity found at your local Walmart. They don't sell expensive wine, but I do believe they offer a hearty selection of domestic beer, available in shiny, pop-top cans.

        Meanwhile, I shall continue to keep an eye on those around me (in both California and elsewhere, Lord Helpus) who would like to profit from my demise.

        Forever Frugal,

        Merry

        Comment


        • LH, Beezer, and PT:

          Perhaps as a solution to the stain issue one might consider a concealing mahogany finish to the tack trunk? That would be both classy and pragmatic, though it does have the drawback of being the result of thinking. For that, dearest PT, I apologize, and offer you a glass of 1993 Dom Perignon.
          A Year In the Saddle

          Comment


          • ,TP tseraeD

            .yadot stros fo tuo elttil a ma I !hctiws ffo taht gnidnif rof sknahT

            ?draziW rekcilC laP tekcoP ruoy ot sedargpu lles ouy oD
            .em rof refas hcuM

            !!sknahT

            Comment


            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Merry:
              I encourage you to embrace the humanity found at your local Walmart. They don't sell expensive wine, but I do believe they offer a hearty selection of domestic beer, available in shiny, pop-top cans.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

              Wal-Mart News

              BENTONVILLE, ARK (AP) - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item, Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.

              The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, CA to produce the spirits at an affordable price; in the $6.00 to $8.00 range.

              While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for inexpensive wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, RI She said: "The right name is important."

              So, with that in mind, here are some suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

              Nasti Spumante
              Chateau Traileur Doublewide
              White Trashfindel
              Big Red Gulp
              Grape Expectations
              Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"
              NASCARbernet
              Chef Boyardeaux
              Peanut Noir
              Chateau des Moines
              I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
              World Championship Wriesling

              SillyHorse
              ~ I'm probably on John Ashcroft's enemies list. At any rate, he's on mine. ~

              Donald Trump - proven liar, cheat, traitor and sexual predator! Hillary Clinton won in 2016, but we have all lost.

              Comment


              • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Merry: and, once installed with a collapsible, three-section laundry hamper (which neatly tucked inside)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                Oh!! Do tell! I have a plastic trunk, too!

                Dear PT,
                Uh...uh...the above message is just to...uh...make Merry think there are others like her. I don't really want to know... I DID think it mught be a good storage location for my MD 20/20, though!
                *****
                You will not rise to the occasion, you will default to your level of training.

                Comment


                • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SillyHorse:

                  BENTONVILLE, ARK (AP) - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item, Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.

                  <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                  Aha! I hope this is for real! Now, when my equestrian guests arrive for my annual horsey holiday soiree, I can deftly pour some NASCARbenet or Chateau des Moines into my collection of crystal carafes and no one will be any the wiser... Pocket Trainer included... IF he/she is so lucky as to be invited!

                  P.S. to Midge: It's a collapsible, mesh laundry "thingie" that sits longwise horizontally. It fits exactly inside my lovely Walmart tack trunk! One section for leg wraps, one for brushes, one for odds 'n ends!

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                  My state's governor can beat up your state's governor.

                  Comment


                  • Dear Pocket Trainer:

                    I am still horrified. This recent display of gaucheness by interlopers with plastics, Walmart, and domestic beer has made me newly appreciate the heavy clientele screening efforts my BNT makes to keep these kinds at bay. As a matter of fact, your suggestion for a Rolex gift was perfect, as hopefully any of these uncouths would see a Rolex flashing from my BNT's wrist and immediately realize they are not worthy of boarding their sub-$150K, plastic-stinking nags at our facility!

                    Which of my prescription drugs would go best with the 1993 Chateau Souverain Cabernet you recommended? I have a splitting headache brought on by this banality, and fear I shall miss my manicure appointment if it does not resolve soon.

                    Disgustingly Yours,

                    Tainted with Triteness

                    Comment


                    • Dear Pocket Trainer,

                      We had a Brazilian groom, but he defected to Belgium. Do you have any PT Grooming Devices?

                      Yours,

                      Harried and Hopeless

                      Comment


                      • Ohhhhhh PT. It's time to get up
                        Did you set your Pocket Trainer Clicker-Training Alarm Clock back too many hours?

                        Comment


                        • Is there such a thing as too foreward? Did I scare PT off by making a foreward bold move with a bottle of wine in hand?

                          _\\]
                          -- * &gt; hoopoe
                          The ancient Greeks did not write obituaries. They only wanted to know if you had a passion.
                          _\\]
                          -- * > hoopoe
                          Procrastinate NOW
                          Introverted Since 1957

                          Comment


                          • Pocket Trainer - please come back.

                            The unwashed masses have been sippin' on 2-Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's all weekend and they are storming the gates!

                            I beseech you to come back and restore some genteel sanity to this thread, for the sake of your clients!

                            Plastic Wal-Mart trunks, indeed!

                            Comment


                            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Flashy Gray:

                              Plastic Wal-Mart trunks, indeed! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                              Hey, it's shrouded under a custom Warner's cover. So there!

                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                              My state's governor can beat up your state's governor.

                              Comment


                              • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Hey, it's shrouded under a custom Warner's cover. So there! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                Clever clever clever. Tres declasse, but clever nonetheless.

                                Comment


                                • Ah HA! In my Pocket Trainer Catch-A-Millionaire Training Manual (Deluxe Model with interactive DVD) I found THE trick to luring back PT (or a millionaire-for-marriage)...

                                  popping open bottle of... 1787 Chateau Lafitte claret (engraved with the initials of Thomas Jefferson)....
                                  pouring a glass into my Pocket-Trainer Stuben wine goblet ($99.95 each with purchase of $275,000 bottle of 1787 claret)

                                  now.. let's await PT's return...

                                  Comment


                                  • Dearest Hunter Princesses!

                                    You didn't think Pocket Trainer was coming back with talk about Box O'Wine and plastic trunks, did you? We have been in therapy for three days for just thinking about it!

                                    Fortunately we were most impressed with BH!'s astute knowledge of "All Things Pocket".

                                    Yours in a Pocket!

                                    Pocket Trainer

                                    See the light! (Light available - $99.95)
                                    Yours in a Pocket!

                                    Pocket Trainer

                                    See the light! (Light available - $99.95)

                                    Comment


                                    • Dear UltraViolet!

                                      The "Old" Pocket Trainer would have simply reminded you that one was simply not seen with an appropriate amount of color at any time of the year, and everyone knows that an "all over" tan is the best kind of tan.

                                      Pocket Trainer has come to accept that we are now showing in our later years, and while that tan looks lovely on someone in the younger A/Os, it is a bit disturbing in the older A/Os, never mind the "Old Leatherface" over 51 A/A division at WEF. So Pocket Trainer recommends whatever sunblock your dermatologist recommends. We believe in letting trained professionals handle this sort of job.

                                      However, we recognize that applying the sunblock to be a bit of a task for some of our members, therefore we offer the Sunblock Application upgrade ($295) to Pocket Junior ($495 installation, $99.95 monthly subscription plus tips!) so that you may effectively get your sunblock in those hard to reach places...

                                      As always, Pocket Trainer prefers a 1994 Erath Weber Vineyard Reserve Pinot Noir when receiving her sunshine, wherever it may be blown...

                                      Yours in a Pocket!

                                      Pocket Trainer

                                      See the light! (Light available - $99.95)
                                      Yours in a Pocket!

                                      Pocket Trainer

                                      See the light! (Light available - $99.95)

                                      Comment


                                      • Dear Forever Frugal!

                                        Far be it from Pocke Trainer to undersell the merits of WalMart. Why federal raids alone keep us well supplied with Pocket Grooms.

                                        But we simply must have standards, otherwise the riff raff will think that they too can participate in this sport, and then where would you be? Having to learn how to actually ride, that's where! And I ask you, what fun would that be?

                                        Remember, your sister loves you, and is looking out for her, er, your best interests. And when one considers the potential "best" interests of one's silk-purse/sow's ear, WalMart loving sister, one should always partake in a fine 1995 Neyers Chardonnay.

                                        Yours in a Pocket!

                                        Pocket Trainer

                                        See the light! (Light available - $99.95)
                                        Yours in a Pocket!

                                        Pocket Trainer

                                        See the light! (Light available - $99.95)

                                        Comment


                                        • !stroS fo tuO raeD

                                          !(etamitse rof llac) uoy rof tsuj draziW rekcilC laP tekceP rouy ezilanosrep ot yppah eb lliw eW

                                          Yours in a Pocket!

                                          Pocket Trainer

                                          See the light! (Light available - $99.95)
                                          Yours in a Pocket!

                                          Pocket Trainer

                                          See the light! (Light available - $99.95)

                                          Comment

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