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THIS is how wrong it can go :( :( :(

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  • #81
    Originally posted by danceronice View Post
    No kidding. My horse is with my family now, but when he was boarded I wouldn't have hesitated to be gone a MONTH because I knew the barn owners treated him and all their horses like family. Not EVERY barn out there bases whether or not they FEED the horse on how often the owner turns up to check.
    I'm at my barn every day, but I know with absolute, 100% certainty that if I disappeared for any length of time, be it a week or a year, my horses would be in the same, if not BETTER, condition when I came back. I know this as much as I know that the sun will rise in the morning.

    There ARE good barns and barn owners. You might not know it if you're with one now, because they don't have openings and don't advertise.
    Against My Better Judgement: A blog about my new FLF OTTB
    Do not buy a Volkswagen. I did and I regret it.
    VW sucks.


    • #82
      I am going on a cruise in the French Polynesian Islands for two weeks in September.

      Obviously I will be unable to check in on the boarding barn during that time, so my horses are enjoying their last few months before I have to shoot them.
      The Noodlehttp://tiny.cc/NGKmT&http://tiny.cc/gioSA
      Boy Wonderhttp://tiny.cc/G9290
      The Hana is nuts! NUTS!!http://tinyurl.com/SOCRAZY


      • #83
        I am so sorry this happened. Hopefully she will come back quickly as this was a short term situation. I have also been offered free horses I have turned down as I can't afford anymore right now. I have the stall space, but no interest in filling it.


        PS please PM the information on the location as I am in the area.


        • #84
          Originally posted by tidy wabbit View Post
          If you cannot see your horse every few days, then put the horse down. People in the horse business are not going to look out for the best interest of your horse. They are simply going to take your money and starve your horse.
          I guess I should've shot my horses every time I took a week's vacation. Thanks for cluing me in.

          Flash, I applaud you for making the effort to go get the horse so quickly and for listening to your instincts. Those photos were shocking. Jingles to you guys and the (hopefully not long) road to recovery.


          • #85
            Holy freakin' crap! I too gasped aloud when I opened those horrible "after" pictures. Your poor, poor mare!

            I agree with others that you should not beat yourself up about this. Eight weeks is NOT very long, particularly when you were in very regular and "normal" contact with the lessee during at least the first month of it. As Meup said, you would have had to have been psychic to predict this...that is an ALARMING amount of weight loss in just 8 weeks. I mean...yeah...I wouldn't have thought that was possible.

            The important thing is that you DID follow up on your mare, and you DID follow through and do what needed to be done when it came to your attention that she wasn't being treated properly. Additionally, you took the right steps on the front end to make sure that you COULD go get her in the event of this kind of situation. You did do right by this mare. Really and truly, you did. Please don't think for a moment that you have failed her. You will get her back into good shape and you will make sure nothing like this ever happens to her again.

            Tidy Wabbit - I just plain disagree with you. She didn't abandon this horse or anything. She had a good contract in place and was following up with the lessee regularly via phone, e-mail, and, at the beginning, pictures. If someone is just a plain POS, sometimes there really isn't anything that can be done to prevent it. The OP caught this problem in 8 weeks' time, which is not very long. It's not even like the OP wasn't following up prior to that time, either.

            I leased a horse from someone who was in another state for three months, and, let me tell you, I treated that sweet boy like he was my own. His care was fantastic, his weight was fantastic...there really ARE people out there that will lease your horse and not starve it.


            • #86
              I am so sorry this happened to your mare . Unreal that things can go downhill so fast, and you certainly did not fail her - I'm just glad she is back with you, and I hope she is doing better soon.


              • #87
                Wow, that was way worse than I was expecting. She must have pulled the horse off the trailer and stuffed her into a stall first thing. I DO think there is some kind of mental illness involve - like animal hoarding. Its not an excuse, but normal people do not do things like this. Normal people don't lie to get a horse they plan on starving. It's bonkers.

                There are good boarding barns. I have been at mine for over 20 years. And I haven't had to shoot one of my own horses even once.
                You are what you dare.


                • #88
                  I'm as horrified by the pics as everyone else. It would be horrible any time, but it seems like this time of the year you'd have to WORK to make a horse look that bad!

                  So sorry to hear that this happened to you. I'll echo what others have said....don't beat yourself up over it. You were taken by a con man (er....con woman, I guess). It's so hard to predict when a seemingly nice person is really Ted Bundy in disguise. You listened to your gut and you got her out of there in a relatively short time frame. You certainly didn't fail her.
                  Flying F Sport Horses
                  Horses in the NW


                  • #89
                    Situations happen. A mare I found a good home for had to be moved through divorce, the next home was excellent, and then they had to move her so she went to a Pony Club home - seemed good at the time, though she was eight hours away. Eventually the woman said she had to get rid of all her horses, so we went to pick her up --- same thing as yours, just terrible. I felt so awful for her.

                    I bought a horse once for $50.00 - just because he was so thin.

                    BUT, the good news is that within six weeks she was a changed horse once she got back home. Take pictures and show us in six weeks....all the
                    good quality hay she can eat plus a vet check up - worming etc.

                    Don't beat yourself up about it - you took the precautions, and still she fell
                    into the wrong hands....but you have done the right thing by her.
                    Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique


                    • #90
                      Originally posted by Perfect Pony View Post
                      Holy hell, judgmental much? Do you realize many people have jobs, families, live in the suburbs, have to board, have very few options? People that work their butts off to pay for their horses?

                      You are damned if you do, damned if you don't. All we can do is the best we can with what we have to work with. Not everyone has their own farm, a trust fund, a rich husband, lives in a horsey area with a beautiful barn with lush pasture on every corner. Sometimes people need to place a horse because they cannot care for it. Sometimes people cannot get to the barn every day because of commitments. It's not too much to ask to trust someone who has made a commitment to take care of your horse, whether it's a lease, or you are paying for full care board and/or training.

                      And before people say, "then don't have a horse", then what happens to all those horses? Do we just slaughter millions of them because they don't all have owners that can either provide them with a home at their own property, or cannot personally see them everyday?
                      This. I'll repeat this part -
                      All you can do, is the best you can do.

                      You did your best. None of us has second sight. Your spidey sense went into action pretty quickly, and your mare is now back in good hands. Wishing her a quick, uneventful recovery. And Flash, I'm wishing YOU a quick and uneventful recovery. This was as hard on your psyche as it was on your mare's body and I hope you heal without a scar no one can see but you.
                      "No matter how cynical I get its just not enough to keep up." Lily Tomlin


                      • #91
                        And I will also echo what others are saying re: not checking on your horses every day. I am a very hands on owner and I do see my horse every day (okay, often twice a day) because I enjoy it. However, if I were to be gone for two months, there is ABSOLUTELY no doubt in my mind that my horse would receive impeccable care from the barn owner in my absence and suffer zero ill effects due to my not being there (other than, perhaps, boredom from not having me to screw around with!).

                        In fact, someone left her horse at our barn all winter this year while she was in another state, and the horse looks just as awesome as she did when the owner was there every day. Barn owner mixed up special supplements for the horse at night, attended to farrier appointments, soaked her hay, etc., etc., etc. just like she would have done with her own horse. (She's pretty awesome).


                        • #92
                          Good heavens, Flash, that's awful. You'd have to be trying pretty damned hard to get a horse into that state in less than 2 months, poor creature. I'm sure she's as happy to be home as you are to have her back...

                          And yes, there are great barns out there. I board at one of them. The care that was taken of my horse when I was laid up and unable to get there for 6 weeks was exceptional, but I would have expected nothing different. I'm glad I don't live in your world, Tidy Wabbit.


                          • Original Poster

                            Tidy wabbit, to clarify, I leased her out to a private person, who then boarded her at a "boarding barn." (I use that term loosely.) She lived 1.5 hours south of me. The horse community there and the one where I am are very intertwined so I was comfortable with that.

                            The mare has had intermittent lameness issues that were deemed chronic. Some days she is ouchy, some days she is sound enough to hack. I didn't think we were at the point of euthanasia, by any means. I did, however, need to lease her out and temporarily reduce my role in "the horse thing" so that I could deal with some family issues that had arisen.

                            This was intended to be a 3 month lease. After 3 months, we were to re-evaluate the lease and the intent was to extend the lease for another 3-9 months. So by no means was I pawning this horse off on someone indefinitely, or forever. The fact that the lessee KNEW that in 90 DAYS we would be re-evaluating the horse/lease/situation makes this entire thing even stranger. Maybe that is why her emails started to get weirder, because she knew she would be caught soon?

                            This isn't a "never lease your horse out!" PSA.... Shoot, I help a friend lease out 50 camp horses every fall, and we have NEVER had something like this happen. This is just a cold, hard reality check, for all of us. And a warning to the Western NY community, that clearly there are people out there you need to be aware of. Especially important given the proximity of Finger Lakes and the abundance of readily available horses from there each season.

                            Horses get sold, horses get leased, they are given away. In my adult life I have done all of those things and thankfully it has always turned out positively. Unfortunately this time it turned out really bad, and ugly.

                            And I don't care what kind of crap someone has going on in their lives-- if you cannot care for, or afford the horse, then DON'T TAKE IT and DON'T KEEP IT! FWIW, I have had horses for two decades through many major life trials and I've often done it on a shoestring. I have never had more then one at a time, purposely, and occasionally have had to part ways with a horse because I didn't feel I had the time/money/energy to devote to it. I take the responsibility of horse ownership seriously, which is perhaps why I am so torn up about this now.

                            THERE IS JUST NO EXCUSE for what my mare has gone through. Even if the lessee was not of right mind, where the hell was the barn owner? Why do the other boarders think things are ok there? How do so many people turn a blind eye? MAJOR FAIL.
                            Last edited by FlashGordon; May. 31, 2013, 02:03 PM. Reason: grammar
                            We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.


                            • Original Poster

                              Originally posted by ahf View Post
                              This. I'll repeat this part -
                              All you can do, is the best you can do.

                              You did your best. None of us has second sight. Your spidey sense went into action pretty quickly, and your mare is now back in good hands. Wishing her a quick, uneventful recovery. And Flash, I'm wishing YOU a quick and uneventful recovery. This was as hard on your psyche as it was on your mare's body and I hope you heal without a scar no one can see but you.
                              Thank you, ahf.... honestly, I'm definitely emotionally/mentally really, really upset. It makes me want to quit horses. Right now, the only thing keeping me going is making sure she's getting the care she needs, and the many friends who have reached out to me to offer support. Thank you to all the thoughtful responses here on COTH, and thank you to my horsey friends here in WNY who have been so kind.

                              I lost my great, big, much-beloved gelding to an aneurysm in 2008. I thought nothing could ever be worse than that. This just might be, because Fancy's suffering is at the hand of a human I trusted to care for her.
                              We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.


                              • #95
                                Wow. Is all I have to say. And I'm so sorry.

                                On a side note, if you feel that you need to check on your horse EVERYDAY where he/she is boarded, otherwise you don't know what might happen, WHY ARE YOU BOARDING THERE?!??!!

                                Except on a rare occasion when I go out of town, I see my horse at least 3-4 days a week, but thats because I like him not because I would be worried what would happen to him if I didnt show up.

                                If I thought for one second my BO would "neglect" my horse for even a day (purposely), I'd bring him home today and tie him to the tree in the back yard while I found another suitable home rather than leave him with someone who didn't give a sh*t for another 24 hours.
                                Barn rat for life


                                • #96
                                  Have you spoken to her or the BO since getting her back?


                                  • #97
                                    I actually gasped out loud when I opened those pictures Sorry this happened to your mare!!

                                    The same thing happened to me but mine was a giveaway with a contract. I checked everything twice and that still wasn't enough. I didn't know anything was wrong until AC called me. My gelding had been rescued from someone else that saved him just in the nick of time before he starved to death.

                                    I will never let one of my animals out of my control again!! I have two pasture pets that will live for years and cost me a bunch of money but they will never leave here again.
                                    RIP Sucha Smooth Whiskey
                                    May 17,2004 - March 29, 2010
                                    RIP San Lena Peppy
                                    May 3, 1991 - March 11, 2010


                                    • #98
                                      I also gasped out loud at the after pictures.

                                      Please be kinder to yourself. When you got that spidery feeling, you acted. That's all any of us can do. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I swear, I do NOT understand how an animal can be so neglected. And it happens every day.

                                      Best of luck to you as you rehab your horse. And I hope your little one feels better soon too!


                                      • #99
                                        Originally posted by FalseImpression View Post
                                        and Please, don't give us the "mental illness" spiel... geez.... it's overused and half the time, not relevant.
                                        Just trying to understand why someone would take on an animal, say that they "love it" - and then starve it, even though they could easily give the animal back.

                                        It lacks reason - do you think they are just "evil"? We see it happen over and over - animal hoarding is a real phenomenon.

                                        I have dealt with it first hand (in - law), and in her case, therapy and pharmaceuticals help (but she still needs to be watched, because she will try to get more animals - and seems totally blind to the neglectful nature in which she keeps them).
                                        APPSOLUTE CHOCKLATE - Photo by Kathy Colman


                                        • Original Poster

                                          Originally posted by jetsmom View Post
                                          Have you spoken to her or the BO since getting her back?
                                          Both were conveniently "unavailable" when my trainer went to pick the mare up. I have not spoken to the lessee since yesterday morning, when I e-mailed her to tell her my trainer was coming to get the horse. She asked if she got better about feeding the horse every day, could she keep it? (W T F. So clearly, NO ONE had been FEEDING THE HORSE.)

                                          I said no... and all she said was "sorry for wasting your time."
                                          We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.