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Soon to be X boyfriend is moving out, but, still wants to board his horse at my farm

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  • #41
    If you want to do this, don't make it easy for him. Be cool and distant with this.
    Lease has to cover this:
    30 days, only.
    No guests or visitors on the property, you WILL call the police and have them removed.
    He HAS to pay you up front now for the 30 days. If he leaves sooner, he can have pro rated board back from you.
    You will provide food, water, stall, turnout for horse only.
    He has to pay for any vet and farrier, and has to set up a credit card or payment plan with the vet and farrier now.

    Give him a list of other barns to move to. He may realize he can just move his horse now as much as later.

    So what's your plan if he doesn't move and doesn't pay you? You need to figure this out. You need to be harsh about this. Firm, I should say. You can't renegotiate. You are planning your future, and he isn't in it, and you HAVE to have him out of your life.

    Frankly, I would want him and his horse out in just a few days. I would find a place for him to go with it and move the horse there, if he didn't, frankly. I'd even pay his first month board to get him out of my hair and make him someone elses problem, frankly. I wouldn't OFFER that, I would just DO it. One day he'd come by to see his horse and I'd be all, "Oh, I moved him for you to Bud's place. Its that nice place I showed you. He's all set there. Enjoy. And don't come on this property again, 'kthxbye". But that's just me.
    My warmbloods have actually drunk mulled wine in the past. Not today though. A drunk warmblood is a surly warmblood. - WildandWickedWarmbloods

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    • #42
      Originally posted by danceronice View Post
      Uh...what? The land is her real property, the horse is his personal property. She no longer wishes him to store his personal property on her real property. If she's allowing him in writing, signed by him, to keep the horse there X number of days (I'd also spell out in there where exactly he's permitted to be on the property), he has X number of days, after which he has to remove the horse. He doesn't, she issues a written notice that he MUST remove the horse. If he doesn't, he's in violation of the contract. Get the court/law enforcement involved. At that point either he removes the horse or it's abandoned and she files a stableman's lien. It's not HIS BARN, and once she has a boarding contract with a must-vacate-by date on it, he can't argue that she's allowing him to keep the horse there.
      Oh, yeah. This^
      My warmbloods have actually drunk mulled wine in the past. Not today though. A drunk warmblood is a surly warmblood. - WildandWickedWarmbloods

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      • #43
        She needs to admit that he has been paying the bills and carrying her for years. It is such a shame that so many women can't be true to one good man these days! This throw-away mentality will be the end of this country!

        Comment


        • #44
          Originally posted by 7arabians View Post
          She needs to admit that he has been paying the bills and carrying her for years. It is such a shame that so many women can't be true to one good man these days! This throw-away mentality will be the end of this country!
          What the hell?

          Really, because it seems as though she was buying a lot of things for this horse, basic things such as fly spray and dewormer and she owns the property which he resided at while they were dating and it doesn't sound like she charged him board. If anyone was paying the bills it was probably her.
          Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

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          • #45
            [QUOTE=7arabians;6988462]She needs to admit that he has been paying the bills and carrying her for years. It is such a shame that so many women can't be true to one good man these days! This throw-away mentality will be the end of this country![/QUOTE

            Being a troll tonight? Besides buying his horsey supplies, it sounds like he couldn't be true to one good woman. Don't act like you have a clue as to what the logistics of their relationship was.

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            • #46
              Oh goodie, so 7arabians is taking the side of the guy? Does he/she know the OP and the guy? So well, 7arabians, is the guy "wandering" into other women's beds? Just how does that square with "carrying her" and paying OP's bills? Guys don't get a free ticket to stray just because they contribute to the household. If OP owns the place, and pays for much of his horse's expenses, then it seems they each have contributed to the arrangement.

              Plus you have to figure the guy is probably not as good as he used to be.

              I think it is great that OP is concerned about the future of the horse.

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              • #47
                You like the horse but don't like the guy. Doesn't sound like he's not too "in" to taking care of horse if he can't be arsed to bother with buying simple things like fly spray and wormer.

                Would he sell you the horse cheap? That might solve the problem. Throw a little money at the problem (him) and make it go away nice and quick. Then you're stuck with the horse (no major issue since like the horse right?) but if it's a nice horse and he'll take a low enough offer you just turn around and re-sell him.

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                • #48
                  Originally posted by 7arabians View Post
                  She needs to admit that he has been paying the bills and carrying her for years. It is such a shame that so many women can't be true to one good man these days! This throw-away mentality will be the end of this country!
                  Those voices in your head speaking up again?
                  www.headsupspecialriders.com

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                  • #49
                    Originally posted by danceronice View Post
                    Uh...what? The land is her real property, the horse is his personal property. She no longer wishes him to store his personal property on her real property. If she's allowing him in writing, signed by him, to keep the horse there X number of days (I'd also spell out in there where exactly he's permitted to be on the property), he has X number of days, after which he has to remove the horse. He doesn't, she issues a written notice that he MUST remove the horse. If he doesn't, he's in violation of the contract. Get the court/law enforcement involved. At that point either he removes the horse or it's abandoned and she files a stableman's lien. It's not HIS BARN, and once she has a boarding contract with a must-vacate-by date on it, he can't argue that she's allowing him to keep the horse there.
                    Uh, police don't enforce contracts. They don't even have a contract, how is she going to compel him to agree to her terms? How are you going to get a lien without a boarding contract? I think you are over-simplifying.
                    \"Non-violence never solved anything.\" C. Montgomery Burns

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                    • #50
                      Originally posted by 7arabians View Post
                      She needs to admit that he has been paying the bills and carrying her for years. It is such a shame that so many women can't be true to one good man these days! This throw-away mentality will be the end of this country!
                      Funny, I read this as totally sarcastic...

                      Back to the issue...most boarding contracts go from 1st of the month...why give him 30 days? I know you're concerned about the horse...but...you're putting yourself 'at risk' in a lot of ways and it's not worth the pain and suffering you will endure. Offer to buy the horse if he can't afford to keep it elsewhere.

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                      • #51
                        Originally posted by MandyVA View Post
                        Uh, police don't enforce contracts. They don't even have a contract, how is she going to compel him to agree to her terms? How are you going to get a lien without a boarding contract? I think you are over-simplifying.
                        How does any BO get rid of any boarder? If the boarder doesn't cooperate it's not easy, from an administrative POV, but it's not legally complicated in that there is a process to follow. The fact that he used to be her bf doesn't enter into it, legally.
                        Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia

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                        • #52
                          I think it's more that in the typical boarding arrangement there IS a contract. Someone enlighten us, how does the horse physically get removed if there is no contract? Shecant document that board is owed with no contract, so getting a lien won't happen. He can say the board was $1 and that he paid it.

                          She might have to evict the BF and make sure that the order includes damages if the horse isn't removed by a certain date, and a remedy of a lien after that.

                          Not a quick or easy option.
                          \"Non-violence never solved anything.\" C. Montgomery Burns

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                          • #53
                            This whole thread reads like a cheap dime-store novel. This is nothing more or less than what happens in barns across the country everyday. Young, foolish lass falls for a dashing young fellow. Thinks she can 'mold' him into her perfect suitor. But fate has other plans. After using the poor fellow for paying bills, 'personal satisfaction' etc, her heart has grown cold. Although there may be no baby between them, there is this poor innocent horse! She should have thought about the horse before she let her wandering eye roam. Just because she may or may not be the BO, does not mean she is in the right. I'll just bet there is more to this story, ie; she hasn't told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Word has it that this cowboy is an upstanding fellow who doesn't deserve this treatment!

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                            • #54
                              Originally posted by 7arabians View Post
                              This whole thread reads like a cheap dime-store novel. This is nothing more or less than what happens in barns across the country everyday. Young, foolish lass falls for a dashing young fellow. Thinks she can 'mold' him into her perfect suitor. But fate has other plans. After using the poor fellow for paying bills, 'personal satisfaction' etc, her heart has grown cold. Although there may be no baby between them, there is this poor innocent horse! She should have thought about the horse before she let her wandering eye roam. Just because she may or may not be the BO, does not mean she is in the right. I'll just bet there is more to this story, ie; she hasn't told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Word has it that this cowboy is an upstanding fellow who doesn't deserve this treatment!
                              Who's word? Yours? Do you know these people?
                              the NOT!! Spoiled!! Arabian Protectavest poster pony lives on in my heart

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                              • #55
                                Originally posted by MandyVA View Post
                                I think it's more that in the typical boarding arrangement there IS a contract. Someone enlighten us, how does the horse physically get removed if there is no contract? Shecant document that board is owed with no contract, so getting a lien won't happen. He can say the board was $1 and that he paid it.

                                She might have to evict the BF and make sure that the order includes damages if the horse isn't removed by a certain date, and a remedy of a lien after that.

                                Not a quick or easy option.
                                The lack of contract plays more in her favor IMO. If I live with a bf and throw him out, no one would question my right to remove his stuff from my property (for ex, no court would believe that he has some kind of right to continue parking his car in my garage after he moves out, unless I somehow put that right in writing for him. There's no "right to store stuff on property of exes" law).

                                Same with the horse. The horse lived on her property while the bf lived there, but the horse is his stuff and it leaves when he leaves - unless there's a boarding contract, and in that case she can proceed as any boarder-evicting BO would.
                                Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia

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                                • Original Poster

                                  #56
                                  Hey everyone! sorry, Ive been off the thread all weekend.

                                  Id like to respond to as many as I can.

                                  I own the farm. I pay the bills. He does pay some rent (for himself) and helps out with groceries and stuff. He is a pretty stand up guy as far as paying HIS way. But, he hasnt paid a dime for the horse care as of yet. Ive owned this farm for 10 years, he has lived here for 3.7 years. Im perfectly capable of being 100% responsible for MY farm. Finances are really not a issue at all. we are both financially secure

                                  what is a issue is the fact that I cannot just put him out on the street. He will have a move out contract that he signs that will spell out his expenses while HE lives here

                                  as far as the horse, yes, Ive been providing food, care, vet, farrier, and dewormer. I do ALL the daily chores. Stack all the hay, fill/clean water buckets, clean, etc...

                                  I dont even think he realizes how much I care for his horse. And I do in fact care about what happens to the horse.

                                  After he leaves (and he IS leaving) he will pay for these items (itemized in his boarding contract) he will have a boarding contract where he initials every item that he is paying for, including boarding fees. and sign/date the contract (he will receive a copy). There will be a 30 day leave date from the time he moves out, to take the horse. He will also receive a list of boarding barns in the area. There will be no confusion about anything.

                                  I have a great friend who owns a big boarding stable, and has been advising me. She gave me a copy of her contract that I can revise. I think she pretty much covers everything including Liability, waivers, etc

                                  you guys have been great! thank you so much for all your advise. Im taking it. Im setting limits and boundaries. im not worried about making sure he honors this contract. He WILL

                                  oh yea, and HE broke up with ME..

                                  7Arabians! what planet are you on? LOL
                                  Last edited by Jumpin_Horses; May. 20, 2013, 10:26 AM.

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                                  • #57
                                    I'd go with a 30 day contract from today, rather than a 30 day contract from when he moves out.
                                    According to the Mayan calendar, the world will not end this week. Please plan your life accordingly.

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      Sounds like you have it together, OP.

                                      Congrats and good luck! Sorry the ex doesn't realize what he's lost - until it's too late. But also sounds like your gain!

                                      And yea - what's burning in 7Arabians' kitchen?!? Odd.
                                      But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson

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                                      • #59
                                        Good luck, OP.

                                        Situations like this are never easy.

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Wait. He broke up with you, but he's still living in your house? I would politely suggest that he take his sorry butt over to the house of one of the perfect friends he's been hitting on, and do it yesterday.

                                          You like the horse, so tell him the horse can stay. But so sorry, Ex is not allowed to come visit, because he's no longer welcome on your property. One of two things will happen: either Ex will manage to rub one brain cell against another and figure out somewhere else to board his horse (good); or he won't, and you'll have a horse you like (also good).

                                          I'd say the odds are against his honoring any contract you have him sign. I wouldn't even bother. How are you going to enforce it? Hire a lawyer? Go to magistrate's court? Will y'all continue living together (with you footing the bill for his horse and keeping a roof over Ex's head) while you prepare for trial and wait on a court date?

                                          Of course, if he's a big enough jerk to simply refuse to go, then you have another problem. I don't know what the laws in your state are in that situation. But maybe he has more pride than that.
                                          Last edited by pAin't_Misbehavin'; May. 20, 2013, 08:31 PM. Reason: Brevity and clarity
                                          I'm not ignoring the rules. I'm interpreting the rules. Tamal, The Great British Baking Show

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