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Losing a much loved horse

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  • Losing a much loved horse

    After 5 days of colic that suddenly turned worse last night I had to make the decision to euthanize my equine soulmate. I am having such a hard time dealing with this, I can't stop crying. She was the horse of my dreams and the best horse I will ever have the privilege to ride or own. She was only 11 yrs old and had come far in her training, from a scared youngster to a wonderfully confident and loving mare. I'm in my sixties and I will never have the chance to build this kind of relationship again. How do you deal with this kind of loss?

  • #2
    You let yourself grieve. Cry yourself tearless and exhausted. Let your grief out, for as long as you need to.

    Write down your thoughts. Compose a eulogy to your wonderful priceless mare. Best to use the computer so your endless tears don't erase your words.

    Only time can heal your heart

    Bearhugs to you, my dear. I am so sorry for your loss. Could you tell us all about her? It might help...it did me a world of good.


    • #3
      I am so sorry! There are no words that will make the pain go away, only time can lessen it, but it will not ever go completely away.

      All I can say is let yourself grieve but also be thankful for the time you had with her and know how grateful she was too, for having you in her life and having the courage to take her pain away.



      • #4
        How tragic.. I am sorry for your loss. In answer to your question of how you deal with it, my best advice is to allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself time.


        • #5
          I am sorry. I had to put down a wonderful mare myself a few years ago after owning her for almost 30 years. It doesn't seem possible now but you CAN find another horse. No, she won't be the same but you can love her as much.

          I will be 64 next month

          ETA: Much as I hate the commercial "Keep your heart open and love will ind its way"
          I wasn't always a Smurf
          Penmerryl Sophie RIDSH
          "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
          The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.


          • #6
            A devastating loss. I was in my 50s and facing severe heart disease when I lost my tried and true carriage horse. I feel your pain, it was my pain.

            I am now in my middle 60s and have found a wonderful horse who is so dear to my heart. I changed disciplines because of my health and ride western now. I could never replaced my heart, Rocket, but I did stay active in horses. For me, THAT is a life saver.

            You have my deepest sympathy, it's going to be a very hard go for you. I'm sorry.
            Ride like you mean it.


            • #7
              Yes, you have to allow yourself to grieve. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I'm glad you have come here to express your sorrow, among lots of people who understand and sympathize with what you are going through.

              I'm in my sixties, also. For me, grieving for my heart horse, who I lost four years ago, was intermingled with some self-pity, as I thought that I was done with horses, because of my age, diminishing abilities, and a reluctance to chance having a horse outlive me.

              I wasn't done, and you probably won't be either. In my case, a wonderful 27 year old mare walked into my life last year. Who knows what it will be in your case?

              So grieve for your wonderful horse. Hold her tight in your heart. But, hold that heart open, so that, when the next one who needs your love walks up, you will be ready to have a new loving space created in a heart that never ceases expanding, if you let it.
              If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.
              Desmond Tutu


              • #8
                So sorry for your loss. I am in my 60's also...don't give up on the idea of another horse...it may take time til you are ready, but there may be just that special horse that needs that special relationship and needs YOU. Hugs


                • #9
                  ((hugs)) and some Jingles laced with strength and patience ~ time will help ````

                  First ((hugs)) ``` just be ```

                  I am so sorry for your tremendous loss ~ be kind to yourself ~ this is huge for many of us ~ you're not alone ~

                  Time will help ```` lock those good memories in your heart ~

                  please know that while the pain will subside with allot of time there will always be that ache ``` as she was So very special ~

                  You will learn to live with the ache and at some point that ache will just be part of you ~ you'll learn to wear that 'love' proudly ```` a special relationship like no other ~

                  and maybe / maybe not

                  perhaps with time ... allot of time another chance will appear in some form and
                  you will be strong enough / healed enough

                  to throw out your arms again to another who needs you and one you will recognize you need also ~

                  RIP ~ lovely mare knowing you will always be loved and remembered ~

                  just ((hugs) and tears ~ I know how badly this hurts ~
                  Zu Zu Bailey " IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ! "


                  • #10
                    There are no words.
                    I lost my old mare (the pink tack horse) in Feb and had to put down my Pyr last night.
                    It's been a bad year.
                    You just cry it out.
                    A pussycat of a horse with a chewed off tail won the triple crown, The Cubs won the world series and Trump won the Presidency.
                    Don't tell me 'It can't be done.'


                    • #11
                      I'm sorry for your loss. It's difficult, just take it a day at a time. When I lost my once in a life time horse, also to colic, I hated seeing his stall empty. In his memory I decided to take in a rescue, I thought it would be nice to give a horse a home that needed love and good care. it was my way to give back to another horse the many years that my beloved horse gave so much for me. When the time is right do what you feel is best. You are not to old to have another horse.
                      "My treasures do not chink or gleam, they glitter in the sun and neigh at night."


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by EcstaticLady View Post
                        I am so sorry! There are no words that will make the pain go away, only time can lessen it, but it will not ever go completely away.

                        All I can say is let yourself grieve but also be thankful for the time you had with her and know how grateful she was too, for having you in her life and having the courage to take her pain away.


                        Yeah. The gratitude really helps, too. When I remember departed horses, sometimes I'm just stunned that I got lucky enough to know them well. It transforms the sadness a bit without making me be in a hurry to buck up.

                        I'm so glad you got to have this great mare and also do right by her in the end. You did good the whole way.
                        The armchair saddler
                        Politically Pro-Cat


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by 5 View Post
                          There are no words.
                          I lost my old mare (the pink tack horse) in Feb and had to put down my Pyr last night.
                          It's been a bad year.
                          You just cry it out.
                          I've been coming back to this thread just trying to think of something that will comfort you. I lost my Bluey almost a year ago; the pain is less sharp, but it's still there.

                          I'm so very sorry for your loss.

                          5, Godspeed to your Pyr.


                          • #14
                            I am very sorry. I retired my heart horse and he is a pet and I do remember the good times with him. I have a young OTTB now as well, they are very attached to each other. The OTTB has developed the same silly habits as his "brother" but I so miss riding my retired guy. I almost had to put him down last January but he has since recovered.

                            I also say keep your heart open to the next heart horse.


                            • #15
                              Your heart is an amazing thing. Just when you think you can't love another one, there's a horse who got the memo and decided to prove you wrong.

                              Our dearly departed friend Mary Z. Smith, several times the oldest competitor in Santa Barbara by at least 1 1/2 decades, celebrated her 80th birthday at our barn with a hack. I don't know who was happier, Mary or her old guy Sunny.

                              I am so sorry for your loss. Godspeed.
                              Last edited by Coreene; May. 12, 2013, 12:10 AM. Reason: android autocorrect should be shot


                              • #16
                                I am so sorry for you. We lost my first pony, my dream pony - to an arduous colic episode. It was a roller coaster. I was living out of state, the pony was at my family's farm...it was just exhausting in every way possible.

                                We've lost several since her and all of them have left our family feeling incredibly drained. As others have said, grieve and mourn. After I put my old horse down 5 years ago, I never thought I'd get another bite at the apple. But I was wrong. I still miss the relationship with the old mare; I find myself telling the new mare, "Now if Booey were here she'd tell you to....."

                                Again, I'm so sorry. Celebrate the relationship you had with her & don't discount the possibilities that wait around the corner. Hugs!!!


                                • #17
                                  There are no words that can express the sadness when you loose your horse and riding partner. Mine gave me a good 33 years on the trail and shows. I miss him dearly. My husband was not happy that it took 5 horses to replace him but had to find all the endearing qualities that he had in others. He opened up the door for others to touch my heart and for me to keep them well and happy. Older riders can find new horses to ride and sadly many are out there for you to choose from. Prices are much lower in buying but keep is much higher. Give your heart some time to heal and be open to a new horse. Funny how they seem to find you.


                                  • #18
                                    Wear that pain you are feeling with pride as it is a testament to your love. Grief is truly the price we pay for love and you took her pain away and made it your own. No greater gift can be given or received. Let yourself grieve until it no longer serves you. Godspeed.
                                    McDowell Racing Stables

                                    Home Away From Home


                                    • Original Poster

                                      Thanks for all the replies, I knew you'd understand. I lost my old timer of 29 years last year but this hurts so much more. She was only 12 and was the horse of my dreams. We were so connected and in tune. I rode her nearly every day and every ride brought a lift to my spirits and a smile to my face no matter how bad my day had been.


                                      • #20
                                        I am so sorry for your loss.
                                        Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.--Adam Stanley