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What do I do -- dealing with ex-instructor

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  • #21
    While it would be nice to have the closure of an absolute "You make me miserable, stop calling" it rarely works with the crazies. Blocking, ignoring, etc is the only way to go. Absolutely no contact. The crazies will argue and lie to you, then go and lie about you. They feed off the drama and even negative attention is still attention to them.
    Originally posted by The Saddle
    Perhaps I need my flocking adjusted.

    Comment


    • #22
      If you had shortened the timeline by even a few years, then I would have been able to say with absolute certainty that you were a student of my mother's, and to run from that crazy train.

      Let me tell you from personal experience, there is nothing you can do other than ignore her, unless you want to get a court order. If you don't want to go that route, then just keep ignoring her.

      I have blocked my mother, yes my own flesh-n-blood. I don't answer her calls, I don't answer her texts or emails, and she is blocked on FB. I don't want to get an order, so I just keep doing what I'm doing. And yes, she is the SAME as you described, including risking my life several times, personal issues she shares with one and all, dumps horses on people, attempts to control others with lies and deceit, and lots and lots of drama. She suffers from classic narcissism, and like your former instructor, they can't stand to be ignored.

      You will continue to get the emails and texts and phone calls.

      Don't get sucked in.
      COTH's official mini-donk enabler

      "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl

      Comment


      • #23
        All of her FB friends already know that she lives in a froth of drama, and no matter what she says about you, they already know that she is the dysfunctional one.

        Comment


        • #24
          You've already cut her out of your life by no longer responding to any
          contact she tries to make with you. (good on you for that)

          I'd permanently cut her out of your life by blocking everything. Send her
          emails to the trash bin, unfriend/hide her on FB, block her cell or other
          phone numbers. Because the way things are now, it's upsetting to you
          when she DOES try and contact you.

          Won't you feel better when you're NOT seeing the emails/texts/etc
          pop up now and again ?

          As far as trashing you on FB - she'll only make herself look crazy, not you.
          Do not rise to the baiting. She does not sound like a rational person. Let it go,
          and try not to worry about it.

          Don't contact her back, even to tell her buzz off, you're only going to encourage the crazy.

          You can't change another person. You can only change yourself and
          your way of thinking. If you decide to not let it bother you anymore,
          then it won't.

          Comment


          • #25
            In my experience the horse world is small enough that people know who the crazies are. Posting about you on FB makes her look bad, not you.I would continue doing what you are doing. Only interact if you have to. Best wishes!
            "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
            "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

            Comment


            • #26
              Originally posted by TheJenners View Post
              If you had shortened the timeline by even a few years, then I would have been able to say with absolute certainty that you were a student of my mother's, and to run from that crazy train.

              Let me tell you from personal experience, there is nothing you can do other than ignore her, unless you want to get a court order. If you don't want to go that route, then just keep ignoring her.

              I have blocked my mother, yes my own flesh-n-blood. I don't answer her calls, I don't answer her texts or emails, and she is blocked on FB. I don't want to get an order, so I just keep doing what I'm doing. And yes, she is the SAME as you described, including risking my life several times, personal issues she shares with one and all, dumps horses on people, attempts to control others with lies and deceit, and lots and lots of drama. She suffers from classic narcissism, and like your former instructor, they can't stand to be ignored.

              You will continue to get the emails and texts and phone calls.

              Don't get sucked in.
              Yes, yes, yes, and yes. This type cant believe you would close the door on them.
              It is simply inconcieveable. You described this type perfectly.
              Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.--Adam Stanley

              Comment

              • Original Poster

                #27
                Thank you again, everyone -- it sounds like there's agreement that my initial instinct to keep ignoring is the correct path to take. I am hopeful that if she does engage in the FB bashing at some point (which hopefully she won't if I just don't engage her), that others will understand why I am bowing out.

                Comment


                • #28
                  You're on the right path. Keep going.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    Originally posted by pAin't_Misbehavin' View Post
                    I read your post to say that you have not contacted her or responded to her attempts to contact you since the fall of 2012.

                    If my understanding is correct, and she is continuing to try to contact you, she sounds kind of stalker-ish. I think any contact from you will only encourage her. So block her number, set up a trash folder that her emails go directly to, and block her on FB.

                    If you feel like you must say something, then keep it short. "Please do not contact me again."
                    This!

                    And good for you for determining the direction you need to go. You've chosen your priorities. They are yours to decide, not anyone else's business. Be strong!

                    PS I've used a trash folder for certain individuals in the past. Works great when done automatically!
                    But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson

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