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When you know something about someone - Ethics in the barn?

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  • #81
    If the florist is also a client, you are really in a tight spot. You need her to make the decision, not you, as it's also going to effect her.

    Comment

    • Original Poster
      #82
      update: NOT GOOD

      "Fun girl" is pregnant - I do not know who the Dad is if it is CAD or not.

      So I am going to let this ride - very very very soon IF "Fun girl's" child is sired by CAD the you know what will hit the fan sooooon to be sure! The baby is due in March.

      not good not good at all ......
      "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there"

      Comment

      • #83
        What a sad situation for fun girl I hope everything turns out OK for everyone except CAD!

        Comment

        • #84
          How did you come to find out fun girl is prego?
          save lives...spay/neuter/geld

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          • Original Poster
            #85
            Originally posted by fivehorses View Post
            How did you come to find out fun girl is prego?

            She told me last night at the farm supply. She is happy, I am happy for her. I adore this girl she is a blast to be around. I did not ask who the father was and she did not tell me.

            So I will do and say nothing and let these three work it out. Someone is going to have a boat load of heart ache and I will not add to it. Now a baby is involved - innocent to all of this. I swear if my own kids had this alley cat mentality I would beat it out of them! And they are grown ups.

            What is wrong with a single monogamous committed relationship/marriage before children gad being human - being a parent is so very hard to begin with - why make it so full of drama and heart ache? It's beyond me......
            "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there"

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            • #86
              Definitely stay out of it. It doesn't sound like this is going to turn out well for anyone involved.

              It is such a mistake to get too involved in the Very Messy personal lives of friends. You are bound to get burned one way or the other.
              Last edited by 2bayboys; Oct. 23, 2008, 09:36 AM.
              "Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?" Sun Tzu

              My Blog!

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              • #87
                I couldn't agree more.
                Let's hope that cad sent the fun girl those flowers as a congratulatory gesture.
                Whatever the case, having children is a serious endeavor, and raising them means sacrafice and putting aside self centered emotions. Let's hope fun girl understands that, and if cad is the dad, that he also realizes that.

                The girl cad lives with is going to be devastated on more than just his cheating, so all the support and wise wisdom you can share to help her move past this will he helpful.
                What a mess.
                save lives...spay/neuter/geld

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                • #88
                  Originally posted by Woodland View Post
                  "Fun girl" is pregnant - I do not know who the Dad is if it is CAD or not.

                  So I am going to let this ride - very very very soon IF "Fun girl's" child is sired by CAD the you know what will hit the fan sooooon to be sure! The baby is due in March.

                  not good not good at all ......
                  Oh, this is awful news! I actually gasped aloud when I read your post!

                  You are right there is nothing you can do now but sit back and watch how this unfolds. Good Lord, it is like a plot of a Soap Opera!

                  One of those girls is in for a world of hurt. I hope that Cad does the right thing by Fun Girl and baby. I hope this is the wake up call those two needed to finish growing up and assume the responsibility necessary to raise a child. Poor little baby, that's who the real loser is in all this.

                  Poor Woodland, I feel so sorry for you - stuck in the middle of this melodrama!

                  Comment

                  • #89
                    But Woodland is NOT stuck in the middle of this melodrama, she is not the mother of Fun Girl or Sweet Girl or Cad, all of whom are adults and got themselves into this mess. Even Sweet Girl knew what she was dealing with when she got involved in the relationship with Cad, Woodland said she knew about Fun Girl from the past.

                    Woodland is a spectator in this event and needs to remain so.
                    "Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?" Sun Tzu

                    My Blog!

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                    • #90
                      Woodland may only be an observer but she is stuck in the middle of it since the nice girl is a boarder and the pregant girl is a former client. I am sure that this drama will be playing itself out, at least in part, at Woodland's barn. THAT is how she is stuck in the middle.

                      Comment

                      • #91
                        My advice? Write a book.
                        A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                        Might be a reason, never an excuse...

                        Comment

                        • #92
                          Ah, but the drama should NOT be playing itself out at the barn. That is the point. Nor should it be playing out at anyone's place of employment. "Barn drama" and "work drama" happens because people bring their personal lives into these environments, where they do not belong. Leave it at home.
                          "Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?" Sun Tzu

                          My Blog!

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                          • #93
                            I am the same side of the fence as 2bayboys. Horse related relationships are unique in that business is so often mixed with pleasure, but in this case it needs to be kept out of the barn. This sounds like a complete soap opera and you will only be blamed, even through embarassment of your knowing, if you get involved. I know your clients are your business in that a rift can lead to your loss of business, so staying out of it is even more imperative because some of the parites are your clients.

                            Also you really have no idea of what the story is here, you have the Florist/Client , NiceGirl/Client, Fun/Pregnant/girl and Mr. Viagra so we are talking about four stories and then your own deducations and then the truth. It is sad to see people go through this, but Florist/Client and NiceGirl/Client both have the "client" operative words in their relationship with you, so staying out of it is really the best step.

                            Comment

                            • #94
                              Personally, I'd mention to Sweet Girl that I'd heard Cad was back with Fun Girl. If she throws a fit and blames you, so what? Will the world end? Come on, you do what you can and people respond as they will. I'd be a little worried that although the pregnancy might force the triangle into the open, it might not - if FG is ok with the guy's behavior, which she seems to be if she's with him off and on, she might be fine without an open committment and that's a really ugly idea, that this whole thing could continue with the oblivious SG and FG/New Mommy interacting.

                              Comment

                              • #95
                                I would stay 100 feet away from a situation like that. Whether you know what you know or not, sometimes you get forced into situations that you can't control.

                                I am privy to all of the info at our executive office....a younger man was hired last year, two small children, bright, cheery, about to buy a new house, really engaged in the business, isn't life roses.....then due to unexpected circumstances they had to cut him loose, but I knew for two months he was going to be dropped like a rock but it was not my place to say anything or warn him.

                                It sucks to see people get hurt, but really, you have no choice. Just sit back and try and be supportive to whichever team player you are rooting for.

                                I would want my parent/best friend to tell me my partner was cheating....not somebody outside of that tight circle.
                                A quick tutorial on interval training: Conditioning your horse for eventing

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                                • #96
                                  Woodland, I don't envy you. I agree with those that said you will be the bad guy if you inform anyone of the info you have. Hopefully, CAD grows a set (well, I guess we know he already has them), and if he's the father does the "right thing". (Hey I can dream, can't I)

                                  Til then ~ I've got the popcorn.....
                                  ** I LOVE PUIKA & SHELLA FAN CLUB*** member
                                  Originally posted by 2DogsFarm
                                  Good job R&G!
                                  You may now add Horsesaver Extraordinaire to your resume

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                                  • #97
                                    A large part of me agrees that this is nobody's business but those directly involved, but how would you feel if you knew about all of this and then found out that Sweet Girl had also gotten pregnant? Then there would be two innocent victims (the babies) in addition to all of the so-called adults involved.

                                    Argh!

                                    I agree, write a book ...
                                    "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

                                    Spay and neuter. Please.

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster
                                      #98
                                      Trust me - I can not stand drama in my stables - i have booted numerous drama llamas from my premises for bringing horse related drama here.

                                      I prefer to be blissfully unaware of a persons personal toils. Especially when they are self inflicted. I detest gossip and snub it off as often as it is presented. (except in Fla horse drama - but we needed gossip in that to discover the truth-RIGHT?)

                                      My friend's desire to unburden her angst over the gifts put it from her shoulders to mine. I carried it a day or two - realized it was indeed not my burden and far heavier a burden than I wished to share with someone - and i dropped it. i am surprised I carried it at all -

                                      These young adults have chosen a very difficult path to begin adulthood on. As a parent I think I projected my maternal instincts in wishing to spare any of them harm/pain(except CAD - who I wish was castrated for his debauchery)

                                      It won't be blissful for long - this will hit the fan hard. Especially with the holidays around the corner. Holidays = DRAMA. Then I will duck and cover and try my darn best to forget all I know and when I knew it.

                                      Heck I can not remember where I put my truck keys this morning - in no time i'll be like "who's pregnant? Who is sleeping with who?" I mean at my age you forget quick! There is no room in my brain anymore. I do know all the word to Yellow Submarine - I learned that in the 60's So when the subject comes up again - I'll just hum that in my head and glaze over
                                      "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there"

                                      Comment

                                      • #99
                                        We STILL don't know if he is having an affair with her or not! He just ordered flowers, he used to date her, maybe she had told him she was pregnant and sent flowers to her for best wishes and while there sent some to his girlfriend.

                                        While this might not be the case it is possible. Don't assume anything until you have facts, like you catch them together or one of them tells you.
                                        I want a signature but I have nothing original to say except: "STHU and RIDE!!!

                                        Wonderful COTHER's I've met: belleellis, stefffic, snkstacres and janedoe726.

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                                        • #100
                                          I hope no one from Woodland's barn also reads this BB. And I hope that none of that trio has an STD.

                                          Woodland, my heart goes out to you. Not a fun place to be.

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