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Most ridiculous thing they have horses "do" in the movies?

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  • Most ridiculous thing they have horses "do" in the movies?

    Or in a book, for that matter?

    In the "what non-horsie people say" thread someone mentioned a visitor being convinced that horses were killers because of what she'd seen in movies, and I'm trying to recall a movie where horses were portrayed as vicious killers... anybody help me out here?

    And what other bizarre horse "behaviors" have you seen in movies that just don't match with real life? My recent fave is the horse in "Warhorse" apparently teaching the other one to pull a wagon by touching noses briefly, but there's also the classic western-movie "gallop for miles and miles and miles with no break and pull up in front of the saloon on a non-sweaty horse."


  • #2
    Whinny all the time...?
    "When life gives you scurvy, make lemonade."


    • #3
      And never relieve themselves. This also applies to cattle drives.
      "I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder."


      • #4
        One of my favorites isn't what movie horses do, but how they look I remember watching a showjumping movie as a kid, and after every jump, the horse would lose a sock, gain a sock, lose a blaze, gain a star ... lol.
        Piaffe Girl -- Dressage. Fashionably.


        • #5
          The modern version of
          Originally posted by puddleplasher View Post
          the classic western-movie "gallop for miles and miles and miles with no break and pull up in front of the saloon on a non-sweaty horse."
          is when they drive the car for miles and miles then pull up into the conveniently empty parking space in front of the saloon with steam coming out of the exhaust as though the car had been started cold 200 yards stage left.

          I love that wild movie horses always have clean manes and tails, and often wear shoes. No wonder people like mustangs if they get together in herds and help to comb and shoe the horses around them. Forging horse shoes has to be tough without opposable thumbs.


          • #6
            Yes, Bearcat, the whinny all the time made me nutso as a kid. In fact, this just came up yesterday as my DD and I were walking back in from the barn. My gelding was ignoring his hay and whinnying at the house. ?? we had no idea why, it's not as if he wanted us to come back and ride him, right? Even after we got inside he stood out there whinnying for a few more minutes. Then we laughed about it and said how maybe he was trying to be a movie horse, since they whinny all the time for no reason.

            My other pet peeves - how many of the western movie horses have to rear before they go running off anywhere. ALL the horses seem to ground tie perfectly too. Or they go on long rides/camp overnight, never worry about feeding or getting water for their horses. Or, just turn them loose to graze. Sure, you'll catch them in the morning when you want to saddle up again. I'm not sure that's how it used to work, but I wasn't alive back then so I don't know. Maybe.

            Also very annoying when the horse is clearly trotting in the movie but the sound is cantering, or vice versa... and that is SO EASY to see I don't know how they screw it up. I equate that with watching a movie where the voices don't synch up with the lips.


            • #7
              Originally posted by BEARCAT View Post
              Whinny all the time...?
              Yes! They are so noisy in movies. Every rear is accompanied by a neigh. Even just standing there, the horses must snort and stamp now and again lest we forget what we are.

              I have just been away for a week at a horse show and flicked through one kid's horsey series (Canterwood Crest) book for light reading and amusement. There were a half-dozen inaccurate things in it but the best was the description of the new muscles that had developed below the knee as a result of extra training!! Can you imagine?


              • #8
                The "see a horse, hear a horse" movie mantra gets very, very tedious about 5 minutes into any horsey film.
                The inherent vice of Capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
                Winston Churchill


                • #9
                  For me, it's Hollywood driving. You pick up the lines, smack the horse as hard as you can on the rump with them- and then for the rest of the trip you make motions with your hands like a double fisted salvation army bell ringer.


                  • #10
                    Like a double fisted salvation army bell ringer! OMG I about lost my mind!

                    That was awesome!

                    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


                    • #11
                      They even screw up cartoon horses. Anyone remember that movie, "Spirit"? The horses lapped up water like dogs, LOL!
                      “Pray, hope, and don't worry.”

                      St. Padre Pio


                      • #12
                        Well, I had a gelding that lapped his water, too. Maybe he saw the movie??


                        • #13
                          As a kid I always wanted to know why the horses stood where they were dropped.

                          I always laugh when I see a chase scene & hero "commandeers" a passing horse. Jumps on & gallops off (with the butt slapping mentioned above, Ya Ya).

                          I imagine random person trying to jump on my horse & run off. 1) no friggin way & 2) every tv/movie hero happens to be a skilled equestrian such that they can do this with no problem. OK, I think Indy Jones would've been able to ride, but everyone else I question.

                          My childhood riding instructor HATED National Velvet: "Jump, Pi, Jump!" She told us that if we ever were that much of a passenger she would beat us.


                          • #14
                            Bill Boyd (Hopalong Cassidy) never really mastered riding, despite being a cowboy movie star. Topper was the only horse he ever felt comfortable riding, and when Topper died, he no longer rode in the Rose Parade.

                            One movie director was giving him complex directions for a scene on the order of "gallop up, slide to a stop, rear, turn and gallop off in the new direction." Boyd responded, "listen, fella, tell the horse all that. I'm just a passenger up there!"
                            "I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder."


                            • #15
                              When they are pulled over in a half-rear then fall. There seems to be one of these scenes in any war movie, any movie with a chase scene, etc.

                              I know this is a trained move, but in real life, how many horses have you actually seen doing that? Even in times of crisis?

                              You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng


                              • #16
                                I just love how they are practically ALL FRIESIANS. Even the ones racing through the desert in Persia.


                                • #17
                                  When you feed them a treat, they are magically tamed and they love you and would NEVER hurt you. I've spent a helluva lotta money on treats. Jerk still steps on my foot.
                                  Life doesn't have perfect footing.

                                  Bloggily entertain yourself with our adventures (and disasters):
                                  We Are Flying Solo


                                  • #18
                                    Remember when every horse was an Andalusian? Before that were Friesians and Arabians. Of course Hollywood actors had to buy a bunch of them. I wonder what the next trendy movie horse breed will be?
                                    “Pray, hope, and don't worry.”

                                    St. Padre Pio


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by microbovine View Post
                                      They even screw up cartoon horses. Anyone remember that movie, "Spirit"? The horses lapped up water like dogs, LOL!
                                      Yeah, the horses in Spirit had eyebrows, too. DD and I couldn't stop laughing at that.
                                      I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                                      • #20
                                        When the rider jerks and pulls on the reins to try to make the horse look more wild than it is. Especially when they turn the horse to ride away
                                        Last edited by HeartsongHorses; Mar. 18, 2013, 06:35 PM. Reason: spelling