• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Dealing with the border from He!!-update and ? post 98

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #61
    Originally posted by ldaziens View Post
    In my experience, law enforcement would much rather be involved proactively "to keep the peace". This boarder has already cursed out the barn owner husband. It never hurts to call or stop by the police station, explain the situation, and see what they say.
    Agree. It's not like you're calling 911. You call the county, explain the situation, especially if you have texts. If they don't come to monitor the situation, at least the situation is document with Jonny Law in case things either get really ugly or turn up missing. I've seen that scenario play out before and it made investigating the destruction of property that happened and theft a little easier to investigate (not saying that this boarder will go that route, but it's best to cover your bases and protect your assets and clients).

    And in regards to asking her to leave early, if she's disrupting your business, I think you're completely justified and you're being beyond fair if you go that route and refund the balance of the month.


    • #62
      Give her the option to leave early, with refund of unused board. The one client I did this with accepted it, I am a small facility do I removed all MY tack etc. ( I was in a position I put it into my suburban.) Some cops will do a "standby" but if something comes up, they can't guarantee it. My BFF and other boarder was there when she left.

      I will say, I boarded where it was closed on Mondays. I requested and received permission to tend to my horse's injury and leave. Sometimes you have to be reasonable.
      Come to the dark side, we have cookies


      • #63
        She still has to have time to find a new place - your can't exactly put the horse out on the street.
        Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique


        • #64
          Draumr Hesta Farm
          "Wenn Du denkst es geht nicht mehr, kommt von irgendwo ein kleines Licht daher"
          Member of the COTH Ignorant Disrepectful F-bombs!*- 2Dogs Farm


          • #65
            because sometimes you are simply stuck

            Originally posted by cssutton View Post
            So I ask again, why would anyone stay one day more after finding the BO has flipped?

            I would have had my horse and stuff out of there within hours, whether I went to the same barn as the trainer or not.

            People like that do things to horses. And to people.

            There is another thread where a boarder paid extra for special feeding and found out later that the BO put the feed in front of the horse for the boarder to see and then removed it as soon as the boarder left.

            Who wants to keep their horse with people like that?

            But that is buyer's choice.
            Because sometimes you can't just pack up and run out the door...let me present a few reasons (I too, have been at barns in the past where the barn owner seemed okay at first and then became nutty)

            1. You don't own a trailer, therefore you have to find someone to haul you out.

            2. You've already encountered one nutty BO, not a bad idea to research before jumping from the pan into the fire.

            3. You don't have the money to pay double board for one month, because we all know if you leave early, you aren't getting a refund and most barns require you to fulfill a 30 day notice to leave.


            • #66
              In all this **itstorm wonder where OP went.

              Originally posted by Nootka View Post
              The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.
              H. Cate


              • #67
                Originally posted by cssutton View Post
                A couple of points.

                First, the leg wrap incident was neither the first nor the only incident.

                The boarder had become a big problem in many ways.

                Second, I would like to ask why you would want to stay in a barn run by a nut case BO.

                Unless you like staying in a barn with a nut case BO, there is no disadvantage in being asked to leave by a nut case BO.

                Regardless, a barn owner who writes any contract that allows a nut case boarder to stay, regardless of the boarders behavior, morals, honesty, sanity, etc., deserves what he gets.

                If I were writing a contract for my barn, your opinion on how it should be written and whether you would agree to it or not would not be a consideration. My barn. You stay in it under my terms, not yours.

                That simple.

                Putting your horse in another barn is not the same as a residential lease. There are probably 100 barns within a 20 mile radius of here, most of which would take a horse on a moment's notice, if not in a stall, certainly in the pasture which would give the owner time to find a barn that had stall space.....

                I find it odd that some of the posters here think that the barn owner must meet their (the horse owner's) contract terms. You have it backwards. The barn owner sets the terms, whether you like them or not and if you do not, go on to another barn.
                THIS, 100%! It is your property, and you have no obligation whatsoever to allow people with whom you don't feel comfortable to stay for ANY length of time--especially when it may disrupt your entire business. I have never had anyone bat an eye at my "back door" clause that enables me to throw someone like that out, most likely for the safety of everyone concerned. My barn; my rules. Boarding a horse here is a privilege, not a "right."

                In 20 years, I've only ever had to invoke it once; with a woman I took on against my better judgement because she'd been blackballed everywhere else. Within three days I promptly found out why. Among other interesting attributes, she'd been refused service by literally every vet in our entire area, as well as the feed stores, and was certifiably mad as a March hare.

                And don't worry about what someone like that may do to "trash your reputation." Asshats and nutjobs are usually self-revealing, and the fact that you throw them out the good boarders and other local professionals will consider a testament to your good management and common sense.


                • #68
                  That's true, Lady Eboshi...and when asshats spread rumors those local professionals will be the first to tell you.


                  • #69
                    Which is why these days I not only ask for references, I run 'em down. Refused a girl recently when I found out "on the grapevine" she was a notorious lousy payer at her last two barns. And I second what someone said above--don't assume just because they arrive in a BMW or a big gooseneck it means they're necessarily nice, sane, or solvent!

                    Side Note: Rentals (real estate being rented to huuu-maaans) has very stringent State laws about no picking-and-choosing; you can't say "no" if you don't like someone's looks, attitude, etc. Real Estate law calls that "steering" and it's a big no-no.
                    But those rules do NOT apply to boarding horses. You DO NOT have to suffer people who drive you crazy or don't pay. They are relatively easy to get rid of as described by many above. Don't get trapped into thinking they "have you" and will sue. It's not the same thing AT ALL!

                    Hope this helps. I've been there and it sucks.


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by dalpal View Post
                      Because sometimes you can't just pack up and run out the door...let me present a few reasons (I too, have been at barns in the past where the barn owner seemed okay at first and then became nutty)

                      1. You don't own a trailer, therefore you have to find someone to haul you out.

                      2. You've already encountered one nutty BO, not a bad idea to research before jumping from the pan into the fire.

                      3. You don't have the money to pay double board for one month, because we all know if you leave early, you aren't getting a refund and most barns require you to fulfill a 30 day notice to leave.
                      That is the sheepie way.

                      I can tell you how to move a horse in less than 24 hours whether you have a trailer or not and whether you have a pre arranged barn or not.


                      • Original Poster

                        Originally posted by Nootka View Post
                        I haven't seen her back out yet. I like the idea of refunding unused days of board if she leaves quickly and peacefully. She has her friend she moved in with moving out with her, I have no issues with her ever polite friend, wonder if I should offer her too or not?

                        She has not yet been violent or made threats but did in the course of cursing out of my DH told him that she was a paying customer until the end of the month and there was nothing we could do about it. DH told her he would call the police if she did not leave right then (after 10 pm) and she laughed in his face and said good luck, they can't make me leave, I paid my rent! So she has showed some seriously deranged behavior thus far.

                        She has also been slandering me to other boarders. I touched on this in the OP but I have a 20 stall barn and I have already have 2 boarders come to me and tell me about her trash talking. Another crazy boarder (has never caused a real problem, pays on time, is just very "off" and EVERYONE else at the barn refers to her as "crazy" so and so.) has been parroting what the original trouble maker is saying. I gave her an eviction notice yesterday in person. I told her that her slander had gotten back to me and that I knew everything she had said and that if she feels that way she needed to leave. At first she played dumb, then admitted to some of it. I told her I didn't tolerate talk like that in my barn. So she starts texting yet another boarder saying the same things to her and soliciting to her that she could move out and go with "them", meaning herself, origional crazy and her buddy. So how do I get them to keep their mouths shut after they have already been told to do so, until they are gone? Ive been boarding for 7 years, and never had a problem with anyone leaving angry/on bad terms.


                        • #72
                          Some won't like my politic approach, so make of this what you will.

                          I assume Krazy's friend knows that Krazy is leaving. Did she give notice as well? Assuming Non-crazy Buddy did give you notice:

                          I think it's best to treat each person as well as they treat you, regardless of who they hang with. In your spot, I'd assume Non-crazy Buddy was leaving at the end of the month. If she asks for the same deal you gave Krazy, I'd do it.... with no comment one way or the other other than that you'll miss having her (If That Is True).

                          Non-crazy Buddy needs to figure out the costs of hanging out with Krazy. You get to show yourself to all to be a reasonable, peaceable person by treating each person politely or with hardness as they warrant.

                          Oh, and if you think Krazy behaves better when DH deals with her, or when you both are there, why not have the right person be on-hand when Krazy is around? You shouldn't have to do this, of course, but right now you are in a "git-r-done" situation where whatever works is what you should do.
                          The armchair saddler
                          Politically Pro-Cat


                          • #73
                            Um, OP? Not that it changes anything, but do you think crazy leg wrap gal is going to go back in the biz? Sure sounds like she's trying to collect clients with the trash talk. Again, not that it really matters since anyone she'd collect with that move would not be worth keeping, but it did make me wonder. I've run a facility that size before and know a 3 horse loss can make things very tight. I hope there are wonderful folks behind these three, who will make your place even more pleasant an that they find you soon.

                            Good luck.
                            "Aye God, Woodrow..."


                            • #74
                              If the boarder is the nutcase the OP says she is, and the OP is a wonderful BO, then the OP doesn't have anything to worry about - her boarders will know the boarder is a wackjob and all will be right in the world when they're gone. In these situations, it's always best to try not to stoop to the level of the crazy one. These are the times where it's best to be as diplomatic as possible, try not to resort to badmouthing the soon to be ex-boarder - the truth will come out eventually - it somehow always does


                              • #75
                                Originally posted by mvp View Post
                                I think it's best to treat each person as well as they treat you, regardless of who they hang with.
                                Sorry, but this is a terrible idea. In basically all situations.

                                OP, you are responsible for YOUR behavior, and yours alone.


                                • #76
                                  You can't stop the trash talk, but people that know you and your operation will not believe it. Many people do what my mother said, "Consider the Source", and know when someone who is vendictive starts trash talking that it is garbage. If anyone believes it, then you're better off without them. Start looking for more and better boarders now, and if either crazy wants to come back say no. And if the normal friend of crazy wants to come back, then make it with the provision that her friends don't set foot on your property. Next time the original problem person comes after hours, or gets disruptive, then call the cops. Getting a police report helps when she moves out, and if you ever need to prove who is the problem and what happened.

                                  And again, I know it sounds paranoid, but don't meet with her in private, and especially not DH. Witnesses to everything for your personal and legal safety is so important. And you never know when someone who is that out of control will actually lose all control.
                                  You can't fix stupid-Ron White


                                  • #77
                                    Originally posted by cssutton View Post
                                    That is the sheepie way.

                                    I can tell you how to move a horse in less than 24 hours whether you have a trailer or not and whether you have a pre arranged barn or not.
                                    *snork* they do have feet and they did used to be a primary form of transportation.
                                    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                                    Incredible Invisible


                                    • #78
                                      That's tough OP, but there's not much you can do about it the rumor spreading, short of getting an attorney to threaten her. Keep an eye on any online comments regarding your farm too. I don't know what makes people so vindictive, but some people are just wired wrong.

                                      The best thing you can do with your other boarders is to let them know you know about the rumor mill, and that you are grateful that they know you and the type of care you provide their horses and for their support. Don't bash the crazy one to any other boarders though...that's a path to pure crazy. Let's hope this is your last crazy boarder for a while.


                                      • #79
                                        Wow OP So sorry .

                                        For your reading pleasure while waiting for this nightmare to end, I give you my thread from 2006 when I dealt with almost the same crap, except said shitty boarder was a TEENAGER. There's a catch, it's a cliffhanger, because my barn drama followed me onto COTH. And I was new to the area, only lived in the area for two years, so was an unknown.

                                        My vote is to wait them out. Lock up your stuff, grin and bear it, and just wait them out. Keep the handy cell phone camera rolling when needed, or get one if you don't have a smart phone. I videoed mine loading her horse onto a trailer, and then promptly told the driver of the rig who had been professing to be my friend for some time to never place another foot on my property every again.

                                        I can tell you that *I* am still involved in horses with a good reputation in the community and *they* are not... to both. And while I can't tell stories out of school, I can tell you that the family is just as classy as they sound.
                                        COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                                        "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


                                        • #80
                                          TheJenner... that dang thing left me hanging! What happened? How did it follow you onto COTH?
                                          Draumr Hesta Farm
                                          "Wenn Du denkst es geht nicht mehr, kommt von irgendwo ein kleines Licht daher"
                                          Member of the COTH Ignorant Disrepectful F-bombs!*- 2Dogs Farm