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Disobedience from the beast in the far lot

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  • Disobedience from the beast in the far lot

    After a mind-numbing day, I came out of the building, and espied my large, expensive, always-hungry transport beast at the far end of the lot. I jangled my keys, my usual signal to my horse for, "I'm here; come on over and we'll go have some fun." I stood there, expecting the usual pricked ears, the accommodating head bob that means, "Coming, mum!" and the subsequent ambling over of my beloved beast. But there was no response. I clucked several times. "Hup-up, girl!" I called clearly into the cold night air. No response. Alittle worried, I called, louder, "Step up, hon. Come, girl."

    I stood there for at good 10 seconds, I kid you not, while various polite strangers avoided me, before I realized that I was at work, expecting my car to drive itself over to me.

    Fortunately, I work at a hospital, so it is not too far to the quiet room with the soft bracelets attached to the stretcher and the special medicine and the nice people who sit with you to keep you from doing anything foolish. :-)

  • #2
    actually the quiet room and nice people who sit with you sound nice....the rest, well not so much.

    thanks for the giggle.


    • #3
      Hahahaha, I can visualize that!!!! I've clucked encouragement to the rig I drive at work, it lacks power and sometimes going up a steep grade it will "drop to a trot".


      • #4
        I mean really


        • #5
          Thank you for the giggle! Trying to think, but the worst I can come up with is clucking at various family members (and occasional random strangers) to shift their arses over.


          • #6
            At least you don't do it the way I do:

            "Who's momma's precious pookah? Come here, my beloved..... Where have you been all day besides locked in this paddock?"

            "Not coming? What, you read some sh!t about having free will? Well F U. Come the F over here. Don't make me walk over there so that I can beat you...."

            That'll get you a bipolar diagnosis, pronto.
            The armchair saddler
            Politically Pro-Cat


            • #7
              Originally posted by mvp View Post
              At least you don't do it the way I do:

              "Who's momma's precious pookah? Come here, my beloved..... Where have you been all day besides locked in this paddock?"

              "Not coming? What, you read some sh!t about having free will? Well F U. Come the F over here. Don't make me walk over there so that I can beat you...."

              That'll get you a bipolar diagnosis, pronto.
              And who has not mumbled that a time or two when trying to get ones beast from the pasture, as they quietly give you the hoof and walk away.


              • #8
                Originally posted by jess h View Post
                Thank you for the giggle! Trying to think, but the worst I can come up with is clucking at various family members (and occasional random strangers) to shift their arses over.
                PSA: random people in the grocery store do NOT like when you cluck and firmly say "Over!" when they're blocking the butter you want to grab...

                OP - HAH! I haven't quite done that, but I often try to half-halt my car, and I certainly give him pats!


                • #9
                  Oh Sharon- I know that confusion well- driving the old VW home from the carriage stable and having my heart rate soar because a garbage bag was coming at us down the street like a tumbleweed. Steady. Steady.


                  • #10
                    I understand completely! I arrived for a business meeting and while I was walking through the parking lot, a neighborhood dog started barking. Next thing I know, I'm bellowing "Blue, shut UP!" (Yes, my dog was currently about 10 miles away!)

                    Many more strange looks all around.
                    "Dogs give and give and give. Cats are the gift that keeps on grifting." –Bradley Trevor Greive


                    • #11
                      That was brilliant! We all crazy. I often give voice to Fella's thoughts while speaking to other humans. For example, he's in huge paddock with a hill and he often sees me, looks up when I call....and then waits. I fancy he says, "Walk, bitch, your fat ass can use the exercise".

                      He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


                      • #12
                        I've got geldings',but for some reason,all of our trucks' have female names.Old Betsey(Lil'Blue) the Chevy 6cyl.a 94,BIG GIRL,the Ford,dual tanks,250+overdrive the GMC with the 3" lift kit all with bells and whistles.Black Beauty-now my daughter bought another GMC,nice truck-but what's this 1' name? And,by the way,I cluck,kiss,andchange my seat inadvertly'in driving any of them-Too Funny!!


                        • #13
                          Ha! Every time I go around a steep curve and have to apply the brakes going in and the gas to bring it out I say to myself - "OK, half halt and rebalance and then push on"
                          Tranquility Farm - Proud breeder of Born in the USA Sport Horses, and Cob-sized Warmbloods
                          Now apparently completely invisible!


                          • #14
                            Ooh, I forgot! I play dressage games with speed limit signs while driving my truck. I try to time my change in speed limit to match the declared speed limit by the time my front tire is in front of the sign. Of course I only do this on slow roads (especially in speed camera zones and places where they truly enforce the speed limit like school zones), not like on the highway or anything like that.

                            He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


                            • #15
                              ROFL. Excellent. Like it hasn't happened to all of us at one time or another. I may try the cluck and move bit next time.
                              The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.
                              H. Cate


                              • #16
                                I've got the reverse, ever since I got one of those car key fobs with the "unlock" button: I keep trying to open everything with the button, including the horse's stall door. Darn thing never works.



                                • #17
                                  I cluck to the drivers in front of me if I feel they are not moving fast enough, they ignore it just like my horse sigh...


                                  • #18
                                    OMG, I have howled so much through this thread I took a coughing fit

                                    This thread needed a "spewing coffee through your nose" PSA!

                                    I have experienced many similar moments, much to the embarrassment of friends, coworkes, and my everloving family.


                                    • #19
                                      I clucked at some shopping carts the other day while I was returning mine to the cart corral. I cluck at my cat (which, isn't too bad) and tell things to "whoa" all the time. I think I walked behind a car just the other day and said "whoa" as if I were walking behind a horse.


                                      • #20
                                        I cluck at cars, my SO, my cats, my SO's dogs. My SO really doesn't like it when I forget what I'm doing and say "OVER!" to him. lol! I tell his ill-mannered dogs "WHOA" and "ACK" when I'm trying to walk them. Half the time if he wants them in the basement but they won't go all it takes from me is a loud "OUT" and there they go.

                                        I tell him, god knows I'm no trainer of cats, dogs, horses or men but once you get used to telling something that outweighs you by at least 900lbs, you realize you have to be pretty damn clear the first time you ask. Once you get that communication established it all gets pretty low key and quiet.

                                        That said, I still have to yell and cluck at my Focus to pick it's ass up going up a hill if the a/c is on. That damn car is never going to learn...
                                        "Dogs are man's best friend. Cats are man's adorable little serial killer." -- theoatmeal.com