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Dealing with the impossible boarder... WWYD?

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  • Dealing with the impossible boarder... WWYD?

    Here we go… starting from the BEGINNGING!! I hope this all makes sense... I'm still a little *#%$& from this morning

    New woman comes in with 2 ponies… OK fine… we split the field so we can keep our animals separate. A lot of the time, Adam and I keep our guys out because the calf and pony don’t like not seeing each other. She moves in after a few weeks of “I’ll be there Saturday” expects her two SMALL ponies to be in the big stalls (we gave her one because we have our two sharing one) fine with us… her ponies settle in and no lie, worst manners I’ve ever seen in a long time… yearling paws, climbs up his stall door, crews, kicks… you name it… her mare (pony “won” Devon for the driving – yeah ok..) his pony also will climb up her stall door and crews anything and everything, Said boarder thinks it’s “cute” and funny… “oh you’re so bad!” type. I’ve told her and the guy who owns the barn I really wasn’t comfortable with her ponies going out with our guys because I didn’t want my guy who has great manners to catch on to theirs and her mare has never been out with a calf/cow before…. And I know how some horses get when they see an “alien with horns”. We had a mini run him around the field to the point where we had to pick the calf up and carry him back to the barn because the mini was trying to run it to death… So we’ve been trying to avoid having to deal with her, BUT I finally gave up and hated dreading going to the barn and told her, that Saturday we get there at 8am, meet us then and we can put her out. She was also told by barn owner this. Said she’d be there. Well, like normal we’re there and she was not… 11:30 we get a phone call, I’m here. Well by that time, we’re out working on the farm already 3-4 hours into work with no stop in sight. We can’t drop what we are doing and go back to cater to her. Told her a time.. we were there, she was not. All I asked was to BE OUT THE FIRST TIME THEY WENT OUT TOGETHER! Didn’t think it was a HUGE or difficult request. She says, “she didn’t work around anyone’s schedule” Then remind me again, how this is supposed to work? Am I expected to just cater to her every move?

    Last night, when I get home from work we go out to take care of them. I look out, her mare is out with our guys! I’m not happy. I walk in, I said, thought I said I wanted to be here when they went out, her reply was “Oh, they’ve been going out since Saturday, you just have been too busy to come back and be here” I said, no, you were told 8am, we were here, you were not. “but I was here at 11:30 and we called you.” I explained we were working and couldn’t drop everything to come back. I said, we’ll yeah, I’m really kind of upset about this. I didn’t think it was an outrageous request. And what if they didn’t get along? Who was going to be here to break them up, what if she went after the cow? And I said we leave the stall door open for our guys in case they want to come in, I said I was worried about the two ponies and cow trying to go in at once, because the cow was going to get the crap kicked out of him if they started. (she’s a 60+y/o woman)

    I shoot the barn owner a text saying how irritated I was (I felt so bad, this guy is a saint!) and he came out and we talked, (she up and left) He informed me SHE told HIM her and I talked about it and I said it was OK. (lie!) so god help him he said he’d split her side of the field (her yearling pony who totals about 11.2 has a 1.5 acre field to himself! While NOW my large, her mare (12h if that?) and cow have to share an acre.

    Get there this am. Walk to go strip my pony to just a light weight, I’m trying to hook his belly straps, and SHE puts her yearling out… my guy tries to turn and see and hers starts to run around… Really??!!! Couldn’t wait two seconds??? So I’m getting ready to leave, and she’s closing my stalls door, I said leave it open… she informs me she’s putting her mare out… I again said I wasn’t OK with it, she says too bad. I said just deal with it for another month and we’ll be gone… she then says “good! I can’t [edit] wait! I hate backyard horse [edit]” (ummm last time I checked we’re at the same “backyard barn”) and by any means, I'm not that "backyard horse person" No offense to those of you who are happy with trailriding and such as long as you are happy with your horses! But I'd rather keep my horses at home, I've brought up a few yearlings and younger horses who turnsed out to be fantastic mounts for their new owners, I've shown the big shows, but I'd rather work with young horses better than show every weekend. So what? Arent'y you supposed to do what you like?

    Mind you this is a “very mature” 60+ year old woman with 0 teeth in her mouth. Nice huh?
    So I call barn owner (again) I say I’m not going deal with this [edit], I asked ONE thing and that was apparently out of my means. He said, he was going to go out when she left and bring her mare in and put her in the stall, I said no… I’m not mad at the pony, they did nothing wrong, it’s the owner and I… I said open the back door to her one stall so there are two stalls for them to go into – if she doesn’t like that then tough. But he said he’d split her field again. And said he was sorry, if he knew she was like this, he never would have let her move in.

    I’ll tell you this though, We’re going to do the manure pile tomorrow or Sunday whenever we can get the spreader… this is IT though, and most of it isn’t even ours… But going to load it… and because we really don’t do more than picking from ours bc they are out most of the time attacking the round bale. We’re going to tell her if she wants us to take her stuff (we fork by hand) she’s going to need to pay for us to remove it. If not we’re going to have two separate piles now. we’ll move ours and leave hers when we move. Don’t think she realizes we do it… but she will soon.

    We settle march 15th, and told barn owner we’d be moving and latest we’d be there was second weekend in April. He was upset, he likes us, low key like him.

    I just cannot believe she did it, can you imagine doing that to a barn you just moved into and didn’t really know the horses? What if they didn’t get along and someone got beat up… who would pay that vet bill? If I knew nothing about it?

    Except driving by until her vehicle isn't at the barn how do I avoild this woman? I hate dreading going out to see my animals...
    What would you do and was I wrong for being upset and annoyed?
    Last edited by Moderator 3; Mar. 1, 2013, 10:49 AM. Reason: to remove profanity

  • #2
    I'm taking this as just a vent to blow off some steam. Since you will be leaving in a couple of weeks, avoid being around her, smile and nod pleasantly, let barn owner know only if anything seriously dangerous is going on, and get your horses out of there as soon as possible. The only thing to be accomplished by tangling with this woman at this point in time is creating a lot of drama for everyone concerned and possibly getting your horses retaliated against. Keep cool and be happy you are leaving.

    Comment


    • #3
      I had a hard time following all the issues but clearly leaving is in your best interest. I am a little confused as to what type of animals you have? Is it a horse and a cow? Two horses that act like cows? Two cows? Not that it makes a difference either way, I'm just curious.
      My blog: Crackerdog Farm

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      • #4
        I'm sorry but you lost me more than once.

        Your BO, saint though he may be, did fall down on the job if he rented to someone without ensuring that the two of you had clear expectations about who got what and when, especially if you are self care, and especially if there's a cow/calf out in the field too. I did get that part.

        I gather you'll be there for another couple of weeks, I'd suggest not stressing over things and look forward to the move.
        Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
        Incredible Invisible

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          #5
          my appologies - yes, it is more of a vent. I personailly have the calf and large pony

          Other boarder has 2 small ponies (one yearling Colt/Geld that just got cut a little while ago) and other other, a mare

          and yes! I'm really beyond excited for the move, it's been in the works since October finailly coming to an end in 14 days (not that I'm counting or anything)

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ReSomething View Post
            I'm sorry but you lost me more than once.

            Your BO, saint though he may be, did fall down on the job if he rented to someone without ensuring that the two of you had clear expectations about who got what and when, especially if you are self care, and especially if there's a cow/calf out in the field too. I did get that part.

            I gather you'll be there for another couple of weeks, I'd suggest not stressing over things and look forward to the move.
            Well that, and the whole "when she leaves I'll go and put her mare back in" or whatever that was about - WTH, if the BO himself can't act in a mature professional manner and just talk to his boarder(s) about rules and expectations but rather wants to sneak behind backs, I'm not stunned that things aren't going well at this place.

            OP will leave soon so all will be well. At least here. But I'd find a place where a "laid back" BO is still one who can politely confront his boarders, because anything else just leads to drama.
            Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia

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            • #7
              Well part of boarding at a public barn is dealing with people and their horses unless it's been arranged with everyone that a certain pasture is only for your horses. Maybe she had somewhere to go and couldn't wait for you to fix your horses blanket before she had to put her's out? I know if it was me I have very limited time to do anything dealing with the horses (kids and all) and can't wait for someone else.

              Either way she was wrong to put her animals out with yours unless you were there the first time. I had the same thing happen to me at another barn that I asked them to wait until I came before putting my horse in with the rest. They didn't :0( Everything went fine and I got over it but stuff like that is part of boarding..things don't always go the way you like. Either move or get over it.

              Oh and another thing. It's not nice to make fun of someone that is older and doesn't have teeth...everyone will be there one day. Don't bring age into it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Soooo... you were the only boarder, and then a new lady moves in with two small ponies, and expects her mare to have .... "turnout" ? The horror of it. How dare she ?

                Honestly, it sounds to me like you've had the place all to yourself and feel its your own and are not prepared to share.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by morgansnmind View Post
                  Well part of boarding at a public barn is dealing with people and their horses unless it's been arranged with everyone that a certain pasture is only for your horses. Maybe she had somewhere to go and couldn't wait for you to fix your horses blanket before she had to put her's out? I know if it was me I have very limited time to do anything dealing with the horses (kids and all) and can't wait for someone else.

                  Either way she was wrong to put her animals out with yours unless you were there the first time. I had the same thing happen to me at another barn that I asked them to wait until I came before putting my horse in with the rest. They didn't :0( Everything went fine and I got over it but stuff like that is part of boarding..things don't always go the way you like. Either move or get over it.
                  Right now my two are at a barn, where I trust the BO to make decisions about where my horses shall be on any given day and with whom. And that is as it should be.
                  If Suzy Boarder decided to move my horses or move hers in with mine, on her own, I think I might just thwack her upside the head and consequences be damned.
                  Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                  Incredible Invisible

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #10
                    not really, before she came we ALL agreed on splitting the field in two. Her side and mine. EVERYONE was ok with it... she moves in and seperate fields were not OK anymore. I'm by no means hard to work with, honestly was OK with her mare going out, I just asked to be there and after many failed attempts of her not showing up - my pony is a nice pony, has potiential to be up with Devon contenders... her ponies don't respect much, not even their owner.

                    I've been at many boarding barns, never caused any real disturbance, I was there for my horse, not to cause trouble, so I didn't. I'm not trying to give the impression I'm difficult.

                    Like I said, it was just a vent. No need to ciritsize me..

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Your OP is really hard to follow. With some of the additional comments it's more understandable.

                      I have an acquaintance who recently went through about the same thing, where stalls became first come first served on a daily basis and every day she was roaming the barn (self-care) trying to locate a stall she could use and then trying to find what the current user of her stall the night before had done with her water buckets She is moving, sad, but it was the right thing to do.
                      Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                      Incredible Invisible

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Did you *ask* her to be there Saturday at 8 am or did you *tell* her to be there? If you asked, did she agree to it?
                        The armchair saddler
                        Politically Pro-Cat

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #13
                          She told us and barn owner she'd be there at 7:30-8am Saturday so we'd all be there together - if she would have said I have somewhere to be at 8am can we do X time... I would have known what time and been OK with that and been MORE than happy to meet up at that time, but when you are in the middle of working - its a little hard to just drop everything.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Bounceback View Post
                            She told us and barn owner she'd be there at 7:30-8am Saturday so we'd all be there together - if she would have said I have somewhere to be at 8am can we do X time... I would have known what time and been OK with that and been MORE than happy to meet up at that time, but when you are in the middle of working - its a little hard to just drop everything.
                            If she suggested the time, then renegged, then bitched you out later for ask her to work with your schedule, she's hopeless.

                            Look, you are going to be outtathere in a month anyway, and you like the BO, so just hang on until then. I hope your BO does ok with you gone and Impossible Boarder left on his place.
                            The armchair saddler
                            Politically Pro-Cat

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by KateWooten View Post
                              Soooo... you were the only boarder, and then a new lady moves in with two small ponies, and expects her mare to have .... "turnout" ? The horror of it. How dare she ?

                              Honestly, it sounds to me like you've had the place all to yourself and feel its your own and are not prepared to share.

                              That is what I got out of it too. You will be out soon and no more worry. Sounds like everyone is lacking compromise and communication at this barn
                              Draumr Hesta Farm
                              "Wenn Du denkst es geht nicht mehr, kommt von irgendwo ein kleines Licht daher"
                              Member of the COTH Ignorant Disrepectful F-bombs!*- 2Dogs Farm

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                              • #16
                                Originally posted by Bounceback View Post
                                ...worst manners I’ve ever seen in a long time… yearling paws, climbs up his stall door, crews, kicks… you name it… her mare (pony “won” Devon for the driving – yeah ok..) his pony also will climb up her stall door and crews anything and everything...
                                "Crews"? What is crewing?

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by Simkie View Post
                                  "Crews"? What is crewing?
                                  chewing? Typo?


                                  how to deal with that old bat?

                                  Finishing School!

                                  'Isn't that nice'

                                  Instead of FU!
                                  Originally posted by BigMama1
                                  Facts don't have versions. If they do, they are opinions
                                  GNU Terry Prachett

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                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by Alagirl View Post
                                    chewing? Typo?
                                    First time, I thought it was a typo, but it's in there twice.

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster

                                      #19
                                      really? rip on me for 2 typos? tell me everyone here is PERFECT everytime.
                                      Should say CHEW

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        I wasn't ripping on you at all. I was just wondering if there was some sort of vice or bad behavior I wasn't aware of, or if there was a regional term for something I wasn't familiar with. Always curious about that sort of thing.

                                        Thanks for the clarification.

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