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Need input: Ex- trainer wants tack from owner of deceased horse

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  • #21
    Originally posted by mvp View Post
    If I were the client and felt hurt, I simply wouldn't return their phone calls. After an 18 year relationship, there ought to be more good will than good business.
    Good will does not pay the bills.
    You make it sound like a long term relationship means they should have let the horse live there for free...that is good will, right?


    • #22
      I don't find it tacky at all for the former trainer to ask to purchase a hand made bit that isn't being made anymore.

      IMO a definite over-reaction on the part of the bereaved horse owner and anyone else who thinks this is insensitive.


      • #23
        "So I hear your mother died yesterday. Want to sell me her house?" is insensitive but people say it.

        "So I hear your horse died a year ago. Want to sell me her tack?" does not sound insensitive to me at all.


        • #24
          I wish I had a life where my biggest drama was someone wanting to pay money for a used custom bit. Seriously.


          • Original Poster


            The owners are free to say no if they do not want to sell the bit.[/QUOTE]

            They've decided not to respond to the ex-trainer/husband.


            • Original Poster

              Originally posted by Coreene View Post
              I wish I had a life where my biggest drama was someone wanting to pay money for a used custom bit. Seriously.
              Everything is relative. And it's not their biggest drama.


              • #27
                Originally posted by trubandloki View Post
                Good will does not pay the bills.
                You make it sound like a long term relationship means they should have let the horse live there for free...that is good will, right?
                How did you get to that conclusion?
                The armchair saddler
                Politically Pro-Cat


                • #28
                  Originally posted by Mardi View Post
                  They've decided not to respond to the ex-trainer/husband.
                  They might want to contact the x-trainer (maybe via email to avoid a conversation they do not want to have) and say sorry, no thanks. This will prevent X-trainer from calling again thinking the message was missed or such.


                  • #29
                    I suspect that part of the owner's hurt is based on the fact that this trainer of 10 years couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and call herself - instead, asked her husband to do it. THAT was rude and insensitive. Unless of course, there was some [not-known-to-us] issue between owner & trainer.

                    Moot anyway, evidently, since owner seems inclined not to respond to the inquiry.
                    Equine Photography in the Northeast


                    • #30
                      1 I think it was slightly tacky to have the husband call, unless the husband was very much involved in the training business, and has as much of a relationship with the horse owner as the trainer.

                      2 It would have been nice if the trainier had called or written to express condolences when the horse died, but I don't think not-doing-so is a big deal.

                      3 I do not think it is the least bit tacky to ask if the owner wants to sell a bit that the trainer is no longer using. You can always say no.

                      Some people get rid of all the tack specific to a horse after the horse is gone, whether sold or died. My sister is like that.

                      Otehr people hold onto all, or almost all, the tack on the basis either "it will be useful for another horse some day", or for sentimental reasons (I am like that- I have 6 saddles of which only 2 are in current use, and a large number of bits going back over 40 years).

                      Nothing wrong with either. For all the ex-trainer knows, the owner could be planning to sell the bit at the next tack swap.

                      If the trainer's husband was suggesting the owner should GIVE them the custom bit, that would be something different. But offering to buy it is fine.

                      4 On the other hand
                      They've decided not to respond to the ex-trainer/husband.
                      is just plain passive aggressive and MUCH more tacky/rude than the ex-trainer's husband.

                      Have the common decency to say "no".

                      chief feeder and mucker for Music, Spy, Belle and Tiara. Someone else is now feeding and mucking for Chief and Brain (both foxhunting now).


                      • #31
                        Originally posted by Janet View Post
                        4 On the other hand

                        is just plain passive aggressive and MUCH more tacky/rude than the ex-trainer's husband.

                        Have the common decency to say "no".
                        Exactly. Pot, meet Kettle.


                        • #32
                          Yep. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the inquiry (no, not even the husband being the one to call) unless there was some hideously ugly history (just asking someone to leave what sounds like a show barn when they're no longer showing doesn't qualify, but maybe it was something uglier). Like the trainer "asked them to leave" by tying the horse to the gate and leaving his stuff in a pile next to him. Not even returning the call to say "Sorry, not for sale" is passive-aggressive rude. They should act like a grown-up and just say no.

                          And I also thought from the thread title it was a trainer saying "So, now Dobbin's been put down, can I have your saddle?" before the backhoe even arrives. (THAT would be...tacky is a good place to start.)
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