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Top 10 Things I Don't Want to Hear at the Barn...

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  • #41
    From DH that does AM feed. "X didn't get up to eat. He's just doing that lip thing".

    "Shit, I heard the bone snap from here"

    "Call for BayFlight. NOW!"

    "Exactly how much blood do horses have?"

    "Does anyone have an Epi Pen? Suzie just got stung a dozen times, and her Mom forgot to bring her epi pen"

    "Umm, whose foal is that? That mare didn't look pregnant yesterday"
    I\'m not crazy. I\'m just a little unwell.

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    • #42
      "Is X supposed to be in Y?"
      "Why is X in Y?"

      Regardless of values of X or Y, there is almost never a good answer to either of those.
      Author Page
      Like Omens In the Night on Facebook
      Steampunk Sweethearts

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      • #43
        "Ooops..." and "uh-oh"
        Barn rat for life

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        • #44
          "The mare just busted out of her paddock!! And my gelding followed her!"

          I was the only one freaking out, racing to the front gate with another horse in tow in order to close off highway access. Thankfully both horses ran to the back of the property!
          Originally posted by katarine
          I don't want your prayers, tiny cow.
          Originally posted by Pat9
          When it's time for a horse to go to a new person, that person will appear. It's pony magic.

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          • #45
            "Glad you're here. I've been trying to call you..."
            I have a Fjord! Life With Oden

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            • #46
              The sound of a horse breaking its leg. "Pop"

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              • #47
                my husband's answer:::

                "honey, come quick"!

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                • #48
                  daddy, he will not eat much and he will be a great show horse....

                  repeat above sentence until barn is full

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                  • #49
                    My friend's scream as she came off her horse and hit the ground (broken arm).

                    "your horse is going to have to be turned out alone from now on." (After the last injury he inflicted on another horse.)
                    What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!

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                    • #50
                      "We've got a problem....."

                      My DH's favorite line that could mean anything from a horse that is down, bleeding, etc. or just that it's snowing out.

                      Makes my heart stop until he finishes the sentence.
                      "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." --Ghandi

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                      • #51
                        "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE HOOOOOOOOOOOORSE!" followed pretty quickly by "SHUT THE ROAD GATE!" or even worse "HE'S ON THE ROAD!"
                        "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep." - Harry Dresden

                        Amy's Stuff - Rustic chic and country linens and decor
                        Support my mom! She's gotta finance her retirement horse somehow.

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                        • #52
                          'SQUEAL ! SQUEAL ! SQUEAL !' accompanied by 'BANG BANG BANG BANG <splintering wood>'

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                          • #53
                            SNAP....oh sh*t...there go the cross ties/single tie/etc. Followed by sound of clattering hooves dragging metal snap along concrete barn aisle.
                            "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
                            "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

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                            • #54
                              (I'm 1500 miles away, in an airport)

                              Vet: " I'm so sorry... "

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                              • #55
                                Umm...your horse is on the golf course.

                                It was 6am and he managed to get out of his pasture (summer night turnout). He crossed a state highway and was found grazing on one of the greens. The dumb kid (golf course employee) on the golf cart tried to chase him off while me, my mom, my trainer, my BO, and the township cops were there to catch him. He left divots in the green and the golf course wanted to sue for damages until the cop told them in no uncertain terms that THEY caused the damage. What a great start to my sophomore year of college.
                                My May boys: Beau , Neon, Criss

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                                • #56
                                  I was a barn manager for about 6 years, and the most common phrases I didn't want to hear were varioations on the theme of "I need you to look at something."

                                  That phrase began to inspire dread because it could mean anything from a horse with hives to a bleeding gash in a leg to an automatic waterer flooding the stall to smoke coming from the manure pile.... Regardless of the specifics, "can you come look at this" is almost never easy to fix and is almost always expensive, and often involves calling a professional.

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                                  • #57
                                    IT'S A RATTLER!!!!!

                                    and

                                    Mom!!! Look!!! We found this FISH HOOK in Friskie's Bronco Mix!!!!~! (Thank Goodness they stirred the grain with their hands before actually giving it to Friskie!!)
                                    Founding Member: Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique

                                    People used to ask my Grampy, "What's your favorite color of horse?" He'd answer, "FAT".

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                                    • #58
                                      Text from BM

                                      "I'm really sorry but..."

                                      "Thomas just didn't look right this morning when I went to turn him out."

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                                      • #59
                                        Text from BM

                                        "I'm really sorry but..."

                                        "Thomas just didn't look right this morning when I went to turn him out."

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          As barn owner, I call my boarders on various matters. Some may be serious, some are social or just chatty. First thing out of my mouth when they pick up the phone is "Hi-this-is-not-an-emergency" and then we talk. One of my boarders has as "my" ringtone "Houston, we have a problem."

                                          Very flattering.
                                          They don't call me frugal for nothing.
                                          Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.

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