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Top 10 Things I Don't Want to Hear at the Barn...

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  • #21
    Where's my horse?

    Said horse ( 15hh ) jumped out of her paddock and was visiting the pasture horses. The fence was about 4 1/2 ish in height. The horse had a blanket on and was jumping in about 6" of snow.


    • #22
      "I already called the vet"

      "HEADS UP!"

      And that Monty Python coconut noise of hoofbeats on blacktop, with a Doppler shift.


      • #23
        "LOOK! Kittens!!"

        "OMG skunk in the tack room!"
        Unrepentant carb eater


        • #24
          Originally posted by DancingFoalFarms View Post
          "Is this your dressage whip?" -- Said by a person who "borrowed" my good show whip without asking, then tossed it on the ground where it got mangled under hooves.

          "Wasn't he in the far pasture?" -- New horse managed to successfully jump through each pasture to relocate himself closer to the mares.

          "Do you hear kittens in X's stall wall?" -- A tabby kitten managed to fall all the way down the wall gap. We took the stall apart. And I now have a cat named Wald'in.
          Walled In
          from sunridge1 Go get 'em Roy! Stupid clown shoe nailing, acid pouring bast@rds.


          • #25
            Have you seen my . . .?

            Helmet was the best one, discovered trotting around the arena on an up downer. After that I started storing my helmet on my head.
            Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
            Incredible Invisible


            • #26
              "He's never done THAT before!"


              • #27
                "SON OF A B-!"

                Crash. Thud. Hoofbeats where no hooves should be. Rattling in the trunk. Rattling in the feed room.

                "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW!" from any canid or felid.
                "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep." - Harry Dresden

                Amy's Stuff - Rustic chic and country linens and decor
                Support my mom! She's gotta finance her retirement horse somehow.


                • #28
                  "Watch this!" lol.
                  Piaffe Girl -- Dressage. Fashionably.


                  • #29
                    The time I said to my DSO "Boo's loose" (thank you moronic co-boarder for lifting a gate off and leaving it on the ground) - fortunately he galloped back onto the property instead of heading to the (huge for our area) $50K-in-prize money show.

                    And also, for Boo, the words said by my BO's room-mate just before Christmas: "Can you come?".
                    Miss you, Big Horse.
                    Founder of the I LOFF my worrywart TB clique!
                    Official member of the "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique


                    • #30
                      My last barn - a poorly maintained barn from he**...

                      While leading my guy through the barn aisle...
                      "Clippity cloppity squish.
                      Clippity cloppity squish."

                      Translation - another shoe sucked off in the mud...


                      In the dark of night, when all were supposed to be in the barn. But you never could see because they never replaced any bulbs in the outdoor spotlights...

                      "Squish, squish, squish, squish.
                      Squish, squish, squish, squish."

                      Loose horse outside in the mud in the dark.
                      But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson


                      • #31
                        "Where does this horse get turned out?" Said by the guy who feeds/turns out occasionally.
                        "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
                        "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


                        • #32
                          I think he looks a little off again.
                          Mon Ogon (Mo) and Those Wer the Days (Derby)


                          • #33
                            Quietly enjoying the barn late one summer evening, every one gone, grooming your horse in solitude. Most of the lights out in barn except aisle lights where you are standing. You hear the sound of hoof beats and see a flash of horse in the dark past the open barn door. - yup BO's open jumper decided to break out and wander the countryside.
                            “You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretsky


                            • #34
                              THe sound of a horse galloping down the cement barn aisle, lunge line dragging, with other horses tied in the aisle.


                              • #35
                                Does your horse normally...?

                                Whatever it is, it's never good.

                                "Look out!!"

                                "So, I don't think it's a big deal, but..."


                                • #36
                                  "You know, I was watching your ride, and you should really [insert unwanted, usually useless advice here]"

                                  "Don't worry, it'll only take a minute"

                                  "Haven't you heard [insert old wives tale here]"

                                  "All horses should go [insert fad du jour], after all, that's how they do it in the wild"

                                  "LOOSE HORSE" (usually preceded with some sort of curse)


                                  • #37
                                    "I decided to start a lesson program/rescue/breeding program" or whatever you have no interest in seeing or having near you, for whatever reason...ie BO just picked up a piece of junk colt, doesn't have facilities for any of it, etc.

                                    I agree with the loose horse, lost a shoe, is this your X?, etc.
                                    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                                    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


                                    • #38
                                      They don't call me frugal for nothing.
                                      Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.


                                      • #39
                                        "I signed us up to host a Parelli clinic!"


                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by frugalannie View Post
                                          this is the one that scares me the most.
                                          “You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretsky