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When does the "new horse" novelty, excitement wear off?

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  • When does the "new horse" novelty, excitement wear off?

    I love my friend, I really do. And I'm very happy that she's got a new horse that she's really fond of, she's worked hard to get to this point. And he IS a nice horse.

    I have to admit, though, after four months I've begun getting a little tired of hearing about just how AWESOME her new horse is, and being asked isn't her new horse just THE BEST horse there is? There is really no other horse out there as good as he, you know, he's got more talent in his little hoof than every other horse does in their whole body and they can't hold a candle to him. It goes so far as stopping me to stare and coo at him and exclaim at how gorgeous he is while standing in the pasture - isn't he just GORGEOUS? Can I even BELIEVE how fantastic her horse is, look at his amazing natural carriage compared to other horses?

    Someone please tell me that this is going to wear off eventually? It's a nice horse, it really is, and before someone suggests it - I'm not jealous. I've got three horses of my own that are quite nice and that I feel strongly about (though I keep that mostly to myself, and do not expect anyone else to share it!). I'm just growing weary of being forced to *constantly* agree that this new horse of hers is the best, most awesomely talented and gorgeous thing mine eyes have ever been laid upon.

    We ride together frequently, and I swear this happens every single time, without fail. Is there hope for me? Please, say it is so!

  • #2
    Just bless her and reaffirm that he is a beautiful horse. Then take some of her enthusiasm and "spend" it on yourself and your horse. Go ahead and tell other people exactly how much you appreciate your horse, and tell him too that you appreciate him and why. Enthusiasm can be shared.
    It's like pollyannas, oh so irritating but eventually I find myself hanging out with them because, well, they are such positive thinkers and it feels good to be around that.

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    • #3
      I've been listening to something like this for 20yrs! I usually just don't reply. Every once in a while though I get sick of it, and can't resist a comment. She was going on about her husband's new horse. "Doesn't he have the most beautiful stride you've ever seen? It's like silk." Silk, really, bleh. I said that while he does have a long stride, it isn't really what a dressage judge is looking for because he has very little suspension. She hasn't brought that particular attribute up again, but believe me there are plenty of other things about him that make him a wonder horse
      "Everyone will start to cheer, when you put on your sailin shoes"-Lowell George

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      • #4
        I think the formula for this is age at purchasing - lenght of horsey desire.
        For example those who wanted a horse since they were 5 land at age 40 have finally found themselves able to afford said dream pony is much longer than the person that caught the horse bug at 25 and purchased dream pony at 27.

        In the first example 40-5 = 35 months of first horsey excitement and in the second example 27-25= 2 months of first horsey excitment.

        I hope it dies down a little bit, but sometimes I am really glad to see someone so proud of their pony.
        www.michelesfindinghappiness.com

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        • #5
          One response you can make is "And that is what every loving owner should think!" or "I feel the same way about my guy(s) - aren't they just the best, prettiest, most talented?" Repeated genuinely after each request to ogle her horse, she may well take the hint. Here's hoping But she is still in the honeymoon phase-hopefully it will peter off. Its nice that she is so happy with her boy, though.

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          • #6
            Just maybe the excitement will be contagious for others that have had horses for a long time? I can understand this gal's excitement but maybe she is also trying to reconfirm that it was the right thing to do? If this is her first horse or her first horse that she's fallen head over heels for she may be looking for a friend to talk to but we can't read minds. Just maybe though everyone else in your barn will take a moment to feel that rush of excitement for their own horses when they first got them? I hope it all works out and hopefully you'll be able to get her to talk about other things besides just how gorgeous her horse is and find a friend in her? Positive thinking? I hope it all works out. And may we all go out and hug and appreciate how blessed we are to have our beautiful horses.

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            • Original Poster

              #7
              Originally posted by veezee View Post
              I hope it all works out and hopefully you'll be able to get her to talk about other things besides just how gorgeous her horse is and find a friend in her?
              Oh, we've been friends for years. This isn't in a boarding barn setting, we both keep our horses at home, and I went along to look at the horse with her before she bought it. I truly AM glad she found a great horse and is happy with it, it's just the insisting that I agree that her horse is the bestest in the whole wide world at every turn is a little awkward for me. You can fawn and coo and wax undying love and adoration for any person or thing all day long and it's not really going to make me feel awkward, unless you start prompting me to agree with you.

              I personally think Mr. Heinz is wonderful, fantastic and awesome, and I do tell other people that sometimes, but I don't insist (or ask if) they agree with me. It's that kind of awkward feeling.

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              • #8
                Since you've known your friend for years maybe you can talk to her about it without upsetting her or starting a riff between the two of you? Or maybe this is something that has been bothering you for awhile about your "friendship" and it's time to keep more distance. Sometimes the distance helps and things can go back to "normal" and sometimes it gives one a chance to meet others and start a new chapter. You have to think of yourself and do what is necessary to not have this bothering you. Life is short and precious. Think about yourself and your other friends and family and spend more time with your own horses. That should help, I hope. And I hope this helps. Have a wonderful day and hugs your ponies! Pony hugs always help heal the day.

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                • #9
                  maybe she's over compensating? Can she ride this horse well (or any horse for that matter)? She may feel a little bit like she's trying to impress you, who already has three nice horses. Just a thought.

                  If she truly is one of those people who does it just because she's so freaking enthusiastic that OMG I HAVE A PONY!!! just roll with it. The honeymoon period will die down

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                  • #10
                    I was still gazing lovingly over my old horse's door and thinking 'That's my horse that is', after...oh, 20 years

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                    • #11
                      Just smile and laugh and say how nice it is that she loves him. She'll either get it, or she won't. It really shouldn't be a big deal...unless she's really putting other people's horses down when complimenting hers. Like "Dobbin is so much prettier than Button" etc.
                      Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
                      Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"

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                      • #12
                        I think it depends on the horse though. I know most people can bang on and on and on endlessly about their horse, and he's fine, you know, just a nice-ish horse and they should get over it. OTOH MY HORSE, OMG, My horse (pony) is By Far the world's Cutest Pony, and I aint Never getting over it

                        The rest of you might just as well go home.

                        But seriously, though, the one thing you must do, is buy a quite obviously more flashy, fancy, well-trained expensive winning horse. This, my friend, is the way to true happiness. A horsey arms race.

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                        • #13
                          I think that's wonderful!!
                          "When life gives you scurvy, make lemonade."

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                          • #14
                            I inadvertantly got someone to shut up about the worship of their new horse.

                            I asked them what they had taught their horse lately. If I'm riding a horse, it's almost always changing and making progress so anyone who talks to me about horsing knows that.

                            I think when my friend realized that, yeah, her horse was nice but hadn't done much of note recently, that changed the conversation.

                            Maybe this will work for you.

                            I mean, for the love of God, their nice soft noses, looking like a million bucks when running around wild and yada yada---- you can only worship those same features for so long.
                            The armchair saddler
                            Politically Pro-Cat

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by KateWooten View Post
                              This, my friend, is the way to true happiness. A horsey arms race.
                              LOL! "Horsey Arms Race"
                              Does that make my HellPony A WMD?
                              *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                              Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                              Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                              Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

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                              • #16
                                I think you are jealous.

                                I nod my head and make non-commital noises, for as long as it takes.
                                Let the honeymoon continue, why not?

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                                • Original Poster

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by Bluey View Post
                                  I think you are jealous.

                                  I nod my head and make non-commital noises, for as long as it takes.
                                  Let the honeymoon continue, why not?
                                  Oh, you would! If you knew me at all... Honeymoons are fantastic, I got married last summer - but honeymoons are not meant to be shared with/enjoyed by the rest of the world. I do dearly love my own horses and think they are fantastic in their own right(s). I have been smiling and nodding (and will continue to do so), I was just hoping someone would reassure me that this prompting me to comment/compliment won't go on forever!


                                  eta: mvp, I know you're acquainted with my big, brown horse, but not the grey mare nor my super fantastic little (also grey) baby. All three of those velvety noses I would happily worship as pasture ornaments until their dying days (maybe I'm just going soft in my "old" age). I've got a good crew. Believe it or not, the big guy is actually the BOSSMAN of the pasture now, I never thought I'd see that day!

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                                  • #18
                                    In my case it went from "OMG, can you believe this horse is mine, he is the best horse in the whole world" to "OMG, what am I going to do when he is gone, how will I ever live without him?" The first stage lasted about a year or two and the second phase the last seven years and counting!
                                    McDowell Racing Stables

                                    Home Away From Home

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                                    • #19
                                      At least it's a horse not a baby....

                                      Nothing is worse than new parents who think that their kid is the smartest, cutest thing ever... Or the condescending "Oh, you'll understand when you have your own". Ew.

                                      At least I can relate to someone loving their horse. I get that and can totally condone that lifestyle choice.

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                                      • #20
                                        I'll have had my mare for 2 years this spring break and I'm still walking on air. I love love love her. So obviously our honeymoon is still going on.

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