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Let's Have a Party ... Let's Tell a Story! (Group activity)

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  • Hmmm. The sweet smell of hay and alfalfa. There I was wrapped in his arms when I smelled something even sweeter. "What is that?" I thought.
    Then I realized my darling had the slight odor of a woman's perfume on him! I slid out from under the reptile-themed satin sheets, sat on the side of the waterbed and he spoke...

    Comment


    • "You've been putting on my perfume again!!! I told you that I got that in London and it was too expensive for you to use as a deodorant!"

      Dressager
      California, here we come!!!
      You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

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      • Well Hans, Jake, George, and I needed a little O 'De' toilet for our hot tub party. Sorry you couldn't join, but it was a Boys Party!!! Uggg Now it's all come back to me as we sat on the stage of Jerry Springer. You two Timing *&%%$##$%W##@%#@#%@#%%#$%#$. I'm going to kick you and your loves A$$$! Some body better hold me back!!!!

        Just another day!!!
        I want to be like Barbie because that bitch has everything!

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        • I woke up in a sweat... me on Jerry Springer? As if!

          Sighing deeply I glanced over to see my darling Jonathan sleeping.

          (On a non-soap opera note- I wonder if Jonathan Phillips and McClain Ward would like this??? Maybe someone should invite them to join in the fun. )

          Dressager
          California, here we come!!!
          You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

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          • What time was it anyway...I glanced over at the clock...dear God - I had slept in! I threw the covers off and jumped out of bed.

            I dressed quickly and slipped out into the cool morning fog.

            I was halfway down to the barn when I noticed that the door was open. That's strange I thought...Jonathon wouldn't have forgotten to latch the door.

            I reached the open doorway a little hesitantly and felt around in the dark for the light switch.

            Suddenly, someone grapped me from behind and covered my mouth.

            "Don't fight or I'll be forced to knock you out" the voice whispered hoarsely in my ear.
            \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

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            • "Jonathan must give up his Grand Prix horse or you're both going to be sorry."

              I was dragged into the tack room only to see JP bound and gagged... my beloved fiance... what could I do to save him?

              Dressager
              California, here we come!!!
              You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

              Comment


              • If only I could get my hoarse-voiced attacker to take a sip from my Salvador Dali coffee cup. "Your voice is so gravelly, wouldn't you like a sip of my coffee?"
                "It's over there on my Fear-And-Loathing-in-Las-Vegas coffee table.."

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                • It was still dark in the house, and I couldn't see very well. I looked over at Jonathon, who was sitting in a slump near my Glade Plug-Ins Nightlight. Our eyes locked. Silently we said our goodbyes.

                  Just then, someone kicked the front door in! All three of us spun around to see George Morris standing in the doorway. "Let her go," he said, "Or I'll send in the beagles. They haven't eaten yet today."

                  I took advantage of the distraction and bit my attacker on the arm. He let go, and I then turned around and gave him a hard karate kick in the family jewels. He fell to the ground writing in pain.

                  As I ran to untie Jonathon, I heard another voice from the now-busted door. "OWWW! Dammit, George, why did I let you talk me into breaking down the door? I have to ride six horses in the Grand Prix today!" Rubbing his shoulder, McLain Ward walked into the house.

                  "What are you guys doing here?" I asked. I pulled the gag out of Jonathon's mouth and he responded, "We were all going to go out to breakfast together. My treat."

                  "And we know better than to turn down free food," McLain said.

                  "Especially when you're carbo-loading," George added.

                  "You broke down my door for THAT?" I cried.

                  George and McLain looked at each other and shrugged. "The door didn't match your shutters anyway," George said.

                  Just then, the mysterious thug rolled over. "Oh my God!" I cried. "It's Hans!"

                  "I vos tryink to haff a little joke," he moaned.

                  ~Sara
                  *Member of the Dirt Divers 78th Airborne Unit, ATH Squadron*
                  *T-Minus 4 Weeks Until My Beval Devon Arrives!*

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                  • I looked at him and the rest of the guys as I thought about breakfast: pancakes, French -- no, no! -- Liberty toast, bacon, sausages, maybe even scrapple. My mouth watered as I tried to forget about the carton-o-peeps I'd consumed the day before. I pulled my backup cashmere twin set down over my swelling hips, and chirped: "Okay, boys, let's chow down!"

                    As we headed out, leaving the DQ with the baby, Sam trotted in the door and, displaying the skills GM had taught him earlier, executed a perfect courtesy circle, then tucked his knees smartly and vaulted over the fallen attacker. He looked adorable at first, but then I noticed clenched in his jaws...

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                    • ...was a leopard print thong!

                      "Hey, sis, is that YOURS?" I asked.

                      The DQ huffed, "Yes, your stupid dog got into the back seat of my car." She made a grab for the thong, but Sam Jr. growled and pulled back as hard as he could.

                      "Mein Gott in Himmel!" said Hans. "This it be MEIN thong!"

                      "Then how did it get in the back seat of her car?" I asked.

                      The room fell silent. Everyone looked around at each other. GM and McLain began to back slowly towards the door.

                      Then Jonathon said, "You know, Hans, that baby looks an awful lot like you."

                      ~Sara
                      *Member of the Dirt Divers 78th Airborne Unit, ATH Squadron*
                      *T-Minus 4 Weeks Until My Beval Devon Arrives!*

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                      • The baby stirred in my arms and opened his eyes. One was brown, the other blue.

                        Hans looked at me and smiled: "Jawhol! Das ist mein baby, BUT (and suddenly he dropped the heavy accent) I'm not Hans. I was Frans, your father, but while helping Hans with his human cannonball act, I had a slight mishap in which I lost more than my accent... Now I am Frances, and I guess that makes me your mother!"

                        "Whew," said Jonathan. "That explains the thong."

                        Comment


                        • One was brown, the other blue.

                          \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

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                          • I just can't let this one die!

                            Hans said, "I had the necessary surgery, changed my name to Heidi, and that is my baby."

                            As I stood there, agape with shock, McLain simply said, "That's great. Now are we going to IHOP or not? Come on, Jonathan. Let's ditch these crazy chicks and get some pancakes."

                            "Yes," I said, still in shock, yet feeling totally overwhelmed and violated. "Everybody go. All of you nutjobs get out of my house!"

                            Sam Jr. began to bark like crazy. Gradually, the barking turned into a beeping noise. My alarm clock. I opened my eyes.

                            Could ALL of that have been a dream? "Damn," I said. "That's the last time I have anchovy pizza and cheap beer at 1 a.m."

                            ~Sara
                            *Member of the Dirt Divers 78th Airborne Unit, ATH Squadron*
                            *T-Minus 4 Weeks Until My Beval Devon Arrives!*

                            Comment


                            • but if it was a dream.why was i so tired.maybe i ran a marathon,or climbed a mountain in my dream...but where did all of those bruises come from...........surely not........

                              mm
                              mm

                              Comment


                              • and if it was a dream, why was Jonathan sleeping peacefully next to me?

                                Dressager
                                California, here we come!!!
                                You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

                                Comment


                                • Big sigh. I will never again eat Palomino's Peyote Pepperoni Pizza. Weird stuff

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                                  • I glanced out the window. The sun was just beginning to rise. Reluctantly I pushed the covers back and swung my legs over the side of the bed. It was early to feed but I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep.

                                    The horses nickered as I opened the barn door and turned on the lights. I smiled at their greeting, reminding myself again how fortunate I was to have them. Actually, I didn't have them quite yet. I had hoped that Jonathon would have asked me to marry him this past Christmas. I didn't want to constantly be bringing up the issue but there was this small voice in the back of my mind that warned me to be careful.

                                    I laughed ruefully at the thought of that...it was too late to be careful. I was in love with the man whether or not he intended on making me his wife. And he knew it.
                                    \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

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                                    • I also knew that I had to do something about the queasy sensation in my stomach. The pizza and that bottle of merlot closely followed by too much tequila were still battling it out in my gut.

                                      I staggered to the bathroom to look for a bottle of Tums. One of the lightbulbs had burned out and I could hardly see myself in the mirror over the sink...but what I could make out in the dimness stunned me.

                                      [Writer's note: Arrrgh! 400 posts! Never thought I'd get beyond 20 or so. It's good I work for myself and have an understanding boss. ]

                                      Comment


                                      • I was pregnant!!
                                        \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

                                        Comment


                                        • Again. In the same 24 hours.

                                          The adventure has begun...
                                          KT
                                          "For God hates utterly
                                          The bray of bragging tongues."
                                          Sophocles, Antigone Spoken by the Leader of the Chorus of Theban Elders

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