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Let's Have a Party ... Let's Tell a Story! (Group activity)

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  • ...and then McClain Ward stepped out and said- "I'm the father, and yes, you're the mother."

    I was shocked, beyond belief- How could I be the mother of a baby when I hadn't even been with anyone for well over a year???

    McClain boldly asked me if I remembered the faithful day I had donated my eggs for research when I needed the money to buy my Butet. He had always loved me so he donated sperm with the agreement that they would mate the two.

    I picked up the baby girl and my mind went blank... so little and precious... but with McClain? Perhaps he had a trust fund so I can afford to keep the foal I helped into this world .

    He stepped over and knelt down...

    "Will you marry me."

    My mind went blank, and the answer came to me...

    "McClain, I..."

    Dressager
    California, here we come!!!
    You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

    Comment


    • ...thought you were dating Erin Stewart! How can you love both of us? Just then, I heard a noise coming from the front of the barn...
      There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
      ~Dave Barry
      http://www.youtube.com/hopelesslyretro

      Comment


      • THis is sooooooo funny.

        Comment


        • Out from the barn came Dandy Don Stewart!

          Clutched in his scaley, green hands was a squeeze bottle of thrush medicine. His eyes blazed like a gila monster in the desert and he screeched like an owl. As he came closer he bellowed...

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          • Out of fear, I clutched my baby (Anky) in my arms and promised McClain that I would marry him and love him with all my heart.

            With fear in his eyes (Thrush Buster would stain his TS breeches! ) he whispered back, "She doesn't matter- it's only you and always will be."

            Dressager
            California, here we come!!!

            [This message was edited by dressager on Mar. 17, 2003 at 10:24 AM.]
            You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

            Comment


            • Dandy Don was still bellowing: "Wake up, wake up!!"

              The long, long night was getting to be an even longer day, and I must have dozed off -- but now I awoke with a jolt.

              The stableyard was surprisingly quiet and I didn't see Don or McLain anywhere. Had this last bizarre adventure been only a dream -- and if it were a dream, why was I sitting amid my shredded tack with a puppy who looked enough like Sam to be his heir , holding a baby wearing a bracelet with the name Anky on it? And why would I name a baby Anky?

              Comment


              • and then I realized, the baby wasn't McClain's- he was just a fling from years ago that I dreamed of.

                I suddenly remembered my dear boyfriend- Jonathon Phillips, was he the father of my baby Anky, named after my idol (Get that nose WAY behind the vertical!)?

                Could it be... I was destined to marry a grand prix jumper rider... First McClain, now JP- both were like a dream come true, but now I could settle down and have my own jumper barn with him.

                I noticed him step out of the house carrying a small box. Could it be my very own diamond ring? As he knelt down...

                George Morris stepped out from behind the barn.

                "Stop right there. I understand that there has been an unstable lower leg present at this facility within the past 24 hours and a horse being schooled in a tiger print pad. By the power vested in me by Practical Horseman magazine I proclaim that you owe Hunterdon Farms 30 hours of mucking stalls and 15 hours work with no stirrups to repay this debt to society."

                "George, you crazy geezer, I have to ask a very important question."

                His eyes locked into mine and he breathed the words I had dreamed of... a baby, a jumper stable, and a husband that would send me to the stars... what more could I want?

                Dressager
                California, here we come!!!
                You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

                Comment


                • And what should happen next?

                  Salvadore Dali appeared from beyond the grave and 'gravely' said:

                  "I've painted some surrealistic pictures in my day, but this beats 'em all"

                  Twirling his moustache, he disappears in a puff of smoke.

                  The adventure has begun...
                  KT
                  "For God hates utterly
                  The bray of bragging tongues."
                  Sophocles, Antigone Spoken by the Leader of the Chorus of Theban Elders

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                  • I shook my head in disbelief and realized I had dozed off again and I was dreaming about Salvadore Dali. Whew, for a second there I really thought I was losing my mind. I jumped up and ran out the barn doors looking for McLain and Don. My little cat nap had cleared my head and I realized there was NO way that baby was mine. I mean, I might be an airhead, but I surely would have noticed a) being pregnant and b) giving birth! Someone else must have had that baby and left it in the barn. The question is who....?
                    There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
                    ~Dave Barry
                    http://www.youtube.com/hopelesslyretro

                    Comment


                    • I looked around and noticed that Jonathan Phillips, McLain Ward, Don Stewart, and George Morris were all staring at me. Me, covered in mud and manure, with a puppy chewing on my Vogels and a baby in my arms. Realizing there was absolutely nothing intelligent I could say, I asked, "Does anybody know whose baby this is?"

                      Jonathan said, "Sorry, I have no idea. But you're going to miss the Grand Prix. Do you want me to ride your mare for you?"

                      McLain said, "We all know who's winning that class: Me. Your mare will have a better chance if I ride her."

                      Don said, "Forget that Grand Prix. Your horse has so much talent, she should be doing the hunters with me. Don't ruin her in the jumpers!"

                      George said, "It's been a while since I rode in a Grand Prix, but I can still beat the pants off these guys. I was riding in Grands Prix when they were in diapers. I can ride that mare for you. And I'll take the puppy off your hands if you don't want him."

                      How could I choose between them? McLain's record was the best, but I so loved Jonathan. If anyone could make a hunter out of my mare, it was Don. And I had always thought a good school by George would help my mare's tendency to stop, buck, spook, rear, and bolt. Torn, I stood there watching as they bickered amongst themselves.

                      Gradually, I became aware of a stench that wasn't coming from me. With that odor came a solution to my dilemma, one that would clearly show who had the guts and determination to handle the ride. "Whoever changes this baby's diaper can ride my mare in the Grand Prix."

                      ~Sara
                      *Member of the Dirt Divers 78th Airborne Unit, ATH Squadron*
                      *T-Minus 4 Weeks Until My Beval Devon Arrives!*

                      Comment


                      • Standing in disbelief, they all uttered a few choice four letter words.

                        George said, "The baby is not showing that she has promise and she isn't showing classic form yet."

                        McClain said, "I bet my father's friend will do it."

                        Don said, "These things take time, we must not rush the baby... plus, the poop will get all over my TS breeches."

                        Jonathan said, "I'm young, I'm fearless- Give me the baby, my love, and we shall change and raise her together... after I win the GP on your mare."

                        Dressager
                        California, here we come!!!
                        You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

                        Comment


                        • The sun slithered down in the western sky, bathing everything thing in a peachy glow as I considered Jonathan's offer.

                          A husband, a ride for my mare, a cubic zirconium in a Tiffany setting...what more could I ask for?

                          Well, if I were honest with myself, the diaper part of the proposal didn't appeal all that much. Maybe I needed a nanny to watch over and change the baby, a close relative (a sister, for instance?) who would care for her as if she were her own.

                          I called to the DQ, who was in a huddle with GM, trying to put the puppy in a frame: "Hey, Sis..."

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                          • "Do you know of a good nanny?"

                            "Me, know of a nanny? I'm a DQ- that's Dressahge queen. I don't do kids."

                            "But I know of one," George said, still trying to get the puppy into a frame with his knees tight over fences, "One of my riders ran out of money... Daddy worked for Enron and they need the money. Not to mention the fact that she no longer fits into a 26T TS."

                            A nanny, a gorgeous husband... what more could I want?

                            Dressager
                            California, here we come!!!
                            You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

                            Comment


                            • Hmmmm...Perhaps a puppy who could not only do agility but also clear those hurdles with smartly snapped knees, a wonderful bascule and a lovely expression. GM was working on that one, I noticed. And I could offer the chubby nanny my castoff TSs, which, thanks to my recent Peep Fest, I seemed to be outgrowing at an alarming rate.

                              I even had a family -- dysfunctional as it might be, or did I? Where were Jake and Hans (I thought I was related to them, but who could be expected to remember after all the events of the past 24 hours?) "Jake, Hans," I called, and...

                              Comment


                              • they ran out of the stall.

                                "Yes, we are both related to you, Hans through your mother, and I through your father, but we are lovers," Jake cried.

                                Dressager
                                California, here we come!!!
                                You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

                                Comment


                                • Bumpity bump- we need some lighthearted humor to lighten our days.

                                  Dressager
                                  California, here we come!!!
                                  You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

                                  Comment


                                  • I studied the baby and then the DQ. Their faces were strikingly similar, but of course I looked like the DQ (my twin), too.

                                    "I hate to tell you this," hissed the haughty, long-legged ice maiden, patting me on the arm with a sneer that belied her attempt at kindness. "The baby is neither yours nor mine: it belongs to our other sister (pregnant pause)...the third triplet!!!!"

                                    She called: "George, please bring Ingrid-Sigrid over here," and from the correct-in-every-way hunter green Suburban belonging to the H/J icon stepped his student, the nanny candidate...

                                    Comment


                                    • What was that pounding...oh no...were we having another earthquake?!

                                      I sat up suddenly in bed. It was pitch black in the room...I turned over to my clock. 3:30 am. It had all been a dream. I breathed deeply and closed my eyes. It was only a couple of hours until dawn and the big day. My anxiety had caused my imagination to kick into overdrive. I sighed in relief and sunk back down under my covers.

                                      As I drifted off again, my mind wandered to the day ahead - this would be it. I had worked for years to get to this level - my mare was in top form and I had never ridden so well.

                                      We would take the championship in the hack division...we would!!!
                                      \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

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                                      • Another noise startled me... could it be?

                                        "Sorry to wake you, love, but I had to go check on the mare one last time... I thought she was going to pop tonight."

                                        He rolled into bed, the sweet smell of hay climbing in with him. At last, my true love was mine, and our wedding was just a week away.

                                        Soon I would be Mrs. Jonathan Phillips.

                                        Dressager
                                        California, here we come!!!
                                        You don't throw a whole life away just because its a little banged up - Tom Smith

                                        Comment


                                        • dressager...you're hilarious!!!

                                          (Just couldn't let that one go, eh? )
                                          \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

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